The á la carte escort.

[Boner]

But I am totally confused by your last sentence about 'playing with people's best interest'.

 

I think for some members here, sarcasm and misdirection is lost on their interpretation of the written word. People's best interests will always be their own responsibility, but often times it's lost or muddled because of how other people express themselves, individually.

 

In the case of Max and Phil - while Phil is now throwing out the same misdirection of whom he might be - coupled with the same misdirection from Max in another thread, I suspect, some people here are either frustrated, tired or just over the whole who am I game.

[seeker630]

I think for some members here, sarcasm and misdirection is lost on their interpretation of the written word. People's best interests will always be their own responsibility, but often times it's lost or muddled because of how other people express themselves, individually.

 

In the case of Max and Phil - while Phil is now throwing out the same misdirection of whom he might be - coupled with the same misdirection from Max in another thread, I suspect, some people here are either frustrated, tired or just over the whole who am I game.

 

I don't think Phil is throwing out any serioius misdirection, I think he's just playing with the whole 'nobody REALLY knows who ANYBODY here is'.

 

I confess that I still don't understand whose best interest you think is is being played with by whom - unless you think Phil & Max are harming their own interests?

 

As for sarcasm being lost on some people...probably. It's a tricky device in wriitng unless the readers really know the writer.

[cooldemo03]

The best escorts are the ones that dont even ask for any money upfront or dont mention money at all the whole session. If the price is agreed upon before client gets there, then a good escort wont mention money at all. I just leave the money on the bed before I leave. A great escort will not only never mention money at all, but not even count it while I am there. Theres only one escort in particular I know of who is like this, which is one of many reasons I like him.

[BostonPhil]

I think for some members here, sarcasm and misdirection is lost on their interpretation of the written word. People's best interests will always be their own responsibility, but often times it's lost or muddled because of how other people express themselves, individually.

 

In the case of Max and Phil - while Phil is now throwing out the same misdirection of whom he might be - coupled with the same misdirection from Max in another thread, I suspect, some people here are either frustrated, tired or just over the whole who am I game.

 

I don't think Phil is throwing out any serioius misdirection, I think he's just playing with the whole 'nobody REALLY knows who ANYBODY here is'.

 

I confess that I still don't understand whose best interest you think is is being played with by whom - unless you think Phil & Max are harming their own interests?

 

As for sarcasm being lost on some people...probably. It's a tricky device in wriitng unless the readers really know the writer.

 

Guys, it was a joke. I doubt any one here would seriously think Max and I are the same person. Our writing is too different along with our personalities.

[maxwellissmart]

Guys, it was a joke. I doubt any one here would seriously think Max and I are the same person. Our writing is too different along with our personalities.

 

And my eyes are hazel. And I have hairy legs.

[jjkrkwood]

I think for some members here, sarcasm and misdirection is lost on their interpretation of the written word. People's best interests will always be their own responsibility, but often times it's lost or muddled because of how other people express themselves, individually.

 

In the case of Max and Phil - while Phil is now throwing out the same misdirection of whom he might be - coupled with the same misdirection from Max in another thread, I suspect, some people here are either frustrated, tired or just over the whole who am I game.

 

i AM extremely frustrated, Tired and Over the whole game ! :o I have never given a flying fuck who was who, because it was Very obvious TO ME early on who was BS here, and I absorbed WHAT people wanted to show me. Once I saw members kneeling at the shrine of Rockhard, I was Done.. Basically this site is entertainment, and usually fun for me. It has no bearing on my Real life what-so-ever, and for that reason I take none of it as seriously as Most seem to.

[Decatur Guy]

All the guys I've hired are a one price for everything escort. ... Now some of them have limits (some of them only top, for instance), but I know that going in and in my hiring, I hire the tops anyway. So that doesn't matter to me. I assume their ass might be up for bids for enough money, but I've never explored that. It's not terribly hard -- even at my age -- to find a good bottom for free in ATL. But a good top for free, that's another story. (Although I my have found one for Saturday night and down the line -- fingers crossed).

 

I have one exception ... I do hire one guy time to time who is "a la carte." And I didn't even realize it at first. He's not a full-time, advertising himself on Rentboy kind of guy. He just does this on the side for fun. I pay him $70 and for an hour I'll suck him, he'll jack me, and that's about it. He's so good looking and so much fun to suck, that's fine with me to leave it at that (and sometimes he likes to be rimmed). It's a pretty cheap thrill by escorting pay-scale standards. But I thought getting sucked and jacking me is all he would do.

 

I recently discovered in a conversation that for more money, he'd fuck me and for even more money, suck me and for even more money, get fucked. So yeah, he's a la carte after all. But I've just kept it at the original arrangement because he seems to truly like that, and I think the other things would be distasteful to him.

[Lookin]

Hope I may be forgiven for dredging this one out of the vaults after nearly five years. And, yes, it was definitely done tongue-in-cheek. http://www.maleescortreview.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif

 

 

With all the different types of clients out there, it may be nearly impossible to quote a rate that covers everything. When you stop and think about it, how would you like to have to quote rates for your personal gentlemen’s services? It can’t be easy. It’s not like rolling off a log, unless of course that’s one of the services you choose to offer.

 

It wasn’t easy but, just for grins, I tried throwing together a rate card of things an escort might do, and what he might charge to do them. (Please keep in mind that I wrote this from the point of view of an in-demand twenty-something escort, and not a rapidly desiccating sixty-something slattern like me. My own rates would be considerably lower for everything listed, except for multiple come shots across the room, in which case my rates would be considerably higher.)

 

So here’s a sample escort rate card that would let clients know up front exactly what they’d be paying, yet still give a service-oriented escort the chance to deliver a custom-tailored suite of services for a custom-tailored price. I’ve divided it into general sections, making it easy to find and price just the whoopee the client craves. So, clients, never fear the dreaded "rate varies" box again! Just grab your crotch and your calculator. You’re minutes away from the session of your dreams, with none of those pesky extra trips to the ATM!

(I originally posted this on the MER site in another thread to help give clients some small idea of all that’s involved in quoting an accurate rate, and hope it may be useful here too. If any escorts are reading this, please feel free to use anything that’s helpful. )

 

Sample Escort Service and Rate Card

Showing up services:

1. Arriving on time - $25

2. Arriving up to fifteen minutes late - $15

3. Arriving up to thirty minutes late - $10

4. Arriving up to an hour late - $5

5. Not showing up - no charge

Preparation services:

1. Binaca - $3 per spritz

2. Tan line - $75

3. Colon cleansing - $50

4. Flavored colon cleansing - $65

5. Gym smell - $55

6. Stubble - $35 per day

7. Shaved chest - $25

8. Manicure - $50

9. Pedicure - $50 (no polish)

Greeting services:

1. Knock - no charge for first three raps

2. Smile - $5

3. Friendly smile - $15

4. Handshake - $10

5. Hug - private - $25

6. Hug - public - $45

7. Kiss - closed mouth - $35

8. Kiss - open mouth - $55

9. Kiss - with tongue (3 inches max) - $75

Disrobing services:

1. I take my clothes off - $25

2. You take my clothes off - $45

3. I take your clothes off - $55

4. You take your clothes off - no charge

5. No one takes their clothes off - rebate of $25

Touching services:

1. I touch you/you touch me - except groin/butt - $5 per touch

2. I touch you/you touch me - groin/butt - $15 per touch

3. Frottage - $10 per minute

4. Playing footsie in restaurant/theater - $25 per foot

Social/companionship services:

1. You take me somewhere nice - $200 per hour

2. You take me somewhere tacky - $400 per hour

3. You introduce me as your boyfriend - $150 per person

4. I introduce you as my boyfriend - $350 per person

5. I laugh at your jokes - $10 per chuckle, $15 if I slap my knee

6. I cut your food for you - $150 per meal

7. We attend your high school reunion/company retirement party - $1500

8. I meet your parents - $2000

9. You meet my parents - BMW 7-series, plus three years of family therapy

Ego services:

1. I tell you how great you are - $10 per compliment

2. You tell me how great you are, and I agree with you - see above

3. You tell me how great I am - no charge

4. I tell you how great I am, and you agree with me - see above

Fellatio services:

1. You fellate me - $5 per minute - 10 minute minimum

2. I fellate you - $10 per minute - 10 minute maximum

3. We fellate each other - $20 per minute

(add five dollars per minute to above rates if I keep my eyes open)

Rimming services:

1. You rim me - $5 per minute - 10 minute minimum

2. I rim you - feh!

 

Fornication services:

1. I top you - $15 per minute, plus supplies

2. You top me - $25 per minute, plus supplies

(add five dollars per minute to above rates if either one of us grunts)

Ejaculation services:

1. I come - $200 per load

2. I come across the room - $200 per load, plus $10 per foot

3. You come - $150 per load

4. You come across the room - ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!

Fetish services:

1. I piss on you - natural - $10 per fluid ounce

2. I piss on you - flavored - $15 per fluid ounce

3. You piss on me - in your dreams!

4. I degrade you - $5 per minute - no charge for first hour

5. You degrade me - you gotta be kidding!

6. Wrestling - sorry, it musses my hair

7. Farting - $10 per poot - free on Thanksgiving and Cinco de Mayo

8. Role playing - dominant - no charge

9. Role playing - submissive - yeah, right!

note: Other personal gentlemen’s services may be requested and considered; however, in the event that you suggest something that grosses me out, there will be a $50 fee for each such occurrence.

[unsub2O17]

Lookin,

 

That simply IS one of the funniest things I've ever read! You absolutely made my day--maybe the entire week. THANK YOU!

[+ Travis69]

Lookin's sense of humor - PRICELESS!!!!!!!!

[Lohengrin1979]

Hilarious!

[Decatur Guy]

LMAO at the a la carte list.

[JT Brooklyn]

MER Site? Is that still around?