Is Escort Sex Better Because you Pay for It ?

[jjkrkwood]

The thread question was inspired by a recent tacky comment made by BigValboy about me, but it made me think about whether members here, or men in general feel PAID sex with escorts is more acceptable or palatable than FREE "anonymous" sex ?

 

As I had taken a few days off from the site, citylaw started a post about me being "missing" and the usual suspects jumped on board to speculate WHERE I was... Being that my penchant for sex clubs is well known, a member suggested that I may be holed up in one, whereby BVB said "yeah, he loves his sex clubs, he even went to one on Christmas". Although his information was accurate, the comment came off a bit condescending, as IF hiring escorts was more acceptable than having sex with willing strangers for FREE. By his own admission, he had stated previously he had hired escorts on holidays, so I really didnt understand where the disconnect was ?

If you PAY for sex, its respectable and OK, but if you get it for Free, its worthy of disdain ?

 

I am really curious to know if you guys that hire regularly REALLY think you are BETTER because you are spending boo-koo bucks on your sex.... Does the money elevate the status of the act ????

[Nvr2Thick]

If you remove the personal drama it's a pretty good question. There are a fair number of old threads on the "why do we hire escorts?" topic but none of them will help because they're not about you.

 

I like to be able to identify a man for his looks, physical attributes, and reputation -- and then make it happen. I get to have sex with guys who are out of my league. It wouldn't occur to me to think that I'm better than anyone for it. I'm jealous of guys who have made a connection in a real relationship. I hook up casually through CL or A4A from time to time, and I don't classify hiring out as better than that. I'm pretty proud of myself if either situation ends up in mind-blowing sex.

[jjkrkwood]

If you remove the personal drama it's a pretty good question. There are a fair number of old threads on the "why do we hire escorts?" topic but none of them will help because they're not about you.

 

I like to be able to identify a man for his looks, physical attributes, and reputation -- and then make it happen. I get to have sex with guys who are out of my league. It wouldn't occur to me to think that I'm better than anyone for it. I'm jealous of guys who have made a connection in a real relationship. I hook up casually through CL or A4A from time to time, and I don't classify hiring out as better than that. I'm pretty proud of myself if either situation ends up in mind-blowing sex.[/quote

 

First thanks for the reply. Understand this is NOT a "why do you hire escorts" thread. This is more about the "perception" that hiring is somehow "better" or more acceptable than FREE

"anonymous" sex. Free sex with someone you may have met and dated is not of issue here. Its about free "anonymous" sex, which was given the implication that it was somehow "slutty" or "classless" by the comment I related... Sorry if the backstory to the question wasnt of interest, but I felt it was relevant and has bearing on the question.

[Nvr2Thick]

to me backstory = dishing. There's an awful lot of that going on amongst the personalities on this board. You'd do better to rise above it.

 

to be clear, the A4A and CL hookups are anonymous (and free), usually. I actually admire guys who can do that well and have fun. I do think some guys thrived on it happily for a while and then become jaded for one reason or another. I know of hot guys who thrived on backroom and online hookups and excelled at it because of good looks and big dicks. I can think of two of these guys currently who are "30 or 40 something and looking for love" and hang out online with this attitude of "Geez guys, I'm not just a big cock - get over it", when they loved the anonymous attention it got them in prior years. This is a generalization, but I think many guys who express disdain for anonymous sex through cruising or hookups are either dissatisfied because they've grown tired of it, or they're no longer (or never were) able to meet hot guys and have fun that way. Others may just have had their values kick in at a certain point. Whether I hire out or hook up and the scene turns out crappy with a lousy guy self-loathing often kicks in (God, why do I do this?), and I develop some contempt for either practice. If I didn't have a good time every now and then I'd probably be consistently down on both scenes.

[citylaw1]

JJ, I hire escorts for the same reason that I frequent restaurants. It's nice to order what you want, when you want, and then be served your choice. There is nothing lofty, in my opinion, when making either choice (club or escort) for sex.

 

If you were known to travel with twinks (like me) and were "missing for awhile." the comments would reflect that subject matter. While we're on the subject of condescension, stop taking things so personally. Most comments on the JJ Thread were friendly jabs.

[jjkrkwood]

JJ, I hire escorts for the same reason that I frequent restaurants. It's nice to order what you want, when you want, and then be served your choice. There is nothing lofty, in my opinion, when making either choice (club or escort) for sex.

 

If you were known to travel with twinks (like me) and were "missing for awhile." the comments would reflect that subject matter. While we're on the subject of condescension, stop taking things so personally. Most comments on the JJ Thread were friendly jabs.

 

city, Firstly I notice you say MOST, which implies others were not. Its those comments to which I made reference. Secondly, jabs always seem funny to the people they ARENT about !

 

Nevertheless, thank you for your reply to the OP. My feeling of the "sex club" is similar to your feeling on hiring. My interactions there are totally discretionary; I have sex with whom I want, when I want. YES, of course there is the element of rejection, but there are certainly enough choices for me to move to the next guy if that occurs, kinda like you did with Sean...

[Decatur Guy]

Like Nvr2Thick, I think this is a great question minus the personal backstory:

 

I do not think paying for an escort enhances the sex or makes it better. In fact, for a long time, I struggled with the opposite feeling. For awhile, it damaged my self-esteem a pretty good bit to feel like I was so unattractive that paying a lot of money was the only way to obtain good sex.

 

I now feel differently for several reasons. For one thing, I do continue to have good "free" sex sometimes. Secondly, I've learned to value the convenience of scheduling an escort and knowing something good is going to happen this coming weekend. It's a huge time-saver. Thirdly, escorts have convinced me I'm not some desperate guy that barely could get it up for.

 

Finally, if I have someone scheduled for Saturday night, I am completely free to spend my day as I wish. It oddly enough just helps you get on with your life.

 

But my real bottom line is the bottom line: Good free sex is better than good paid sex. I'd rather have a rockin' fuck and keep my $200-something or more dollars. Being out $200-something or more dollars doesn't enhance a great fuck for me. I'm now at a stage where I'm willing to part with the money without a lot of emotional baggage attached to get some good sex, but paying someone doesn't jazz up the experience for me.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

JJ - Great Question. I have to say that I am slightly envious of guys like you that have the confidence and self-esteem to go the "free anonymous sex" route.

 

For me, hiring isn't about the sex being better (as I inferred from the heading) or me being better than others who make other choices; it is all about my comfort level and an escort situation is more comfortable for me.

[maxwellissmart]

Most comments on the JJ Thread were friendly jabs.

 

That's the logic of a bully. Don't treat us as though we're stupid, city.

[GoodFella69]

You pose an interesting question, but I would have to answer "No." I don't believe the quality of sex has anything to do with whether or not it is paid for. I've paid for great sex and have also paid for really bad sex. I've also enjoyed incredible "free" sex. For me, it depends much more on physical attraction, hygiene and sexual chemistry, plus I have to genuinely like the guy on an interpersonal level.

 

Goodfella

[seeker630]

JJ, your opinion/bias is pretty obvious, and I think you're trying to stack the deck a bit with your repeated 'FREE vs PAID FOR" framing of the question when it's not clear WHAT aspect of 'sex clubs' BVB may have been disdainful of. You've seized on what YOU see as the key differentiator, but in reality there are multiple differences.

 

We all know that we hire for different reasons and for different experiences and that different things give us pleasure. I don't see that hiring escorts, free hook-ups (via Craiglist, Adam4Adam, etc.) or sex clubs are inherently inferior or superior to each other, but the experiences are not identical and may not offer the same level of satisfaction to all of us. I might have been comfortable in a sex club 30 years ago, but I would not be now. But you are, and that's great - for you!

 

I don't think anyone has the right to look down on you for that - any more than you have the right to look down on people who are willing to hire for overnights or a boyfriend experience or spend 'boo-koo bucks'.

[jjkrkwood]

JJ - Great Question. I have to say that I am slightly envious of guys like you that have the confidence and self-esteem to go the "free anonymous sex" route.

 

For me, hiring isn't about the sex being better (as I inferred from the heading) or me being better than others who make other choices; it is all about my comfort level and an escort situation is more comfortable for me.

 

Sam, thats Perfectly fine, and as it SHOULd be.

[jjkrkwood]

JJ, your opinion/bias is pretty obvious, and I think you're trying to stack the deck a bit with your repeated 'FREE vs PAID FOR" framing of the question when it's not clear WHAT aspect of 'sex clubs' BVB may have been disdainful of. You've seized on what YOU see as the key differentiator, but in reality there are multiple differences.

 

We all know that we hire for different reasons and for different experiences and that different things give us pleasure. I don't see that hiring escorts, free hook-ups (via Craiglist, Adam4Adam, etc.) or sex clubs are inherently inferior or superior to each other, but the experiences are not identical and may not offer the same level of satisfaction to all of us. I might have been comfortable in a sex club 30 years ago, but I would not be now. But you are, and that's great - for you!

 

I don't think anyone has the right to look down on you for that - any more than you have the right to look down on people who are willing to hire for overnights or a boyfriend experience or spend 'boo-koo bucks'.

 

Thank you as always Seeker for your input and opinion, but you have an uncanny knack of always trying to turn MY comments into some argument. Sorry, I'm not going there this time. While you seem to think you know me as a person with a biased opinion because I favor one thing over another, I can say the same about you based on your reply. I prefer to call them "preferences and choices", and you clearly missed the point of the post by your "assumptions... Whether a person goes to a sex club on Christmas or hires an escort to commemorate the occassion, one shouldnt be deemed as more acceptable (perhaps you missed that?). As for WHAT BVB meant by his comment, you would have to ask him. Nevertheless, your partiicipation is appreciated.

[seeker630]

Thank you as always Seeker for your input and opinion, but you have an uncanny knack of always trying to turn MY comments into some argument. Sorry, I'm not going there this time. While you seem to think you know me as a person with a biased opinion because I favor one thing over another, I can say the same about you based on your reply. I prefer to call them "preferences and choices", and you clearly missed the point of the post by your "assumptions... Whether a person goes to a sex club on Christmas or hires an escort to commemorate the occassion, one shouldnt be deemed as more acceptable (perhaps you missed that?). As for WHAT BVB meant by his comment, you would have to ask him. Nevertheless, your partiicipation is appreciated.

 

JJ, I clearly said that neither hiring nor going to a sexclub was interior or superior to the other: "I don't see that hiring escorts, free hook-ups (via Craiglist, Adam4Adam, etc.) or sex clubs are inherently inferior or superior to each other,

[+ Travis69]

I love sex clubs and bathhouses. Yes, I have been looked down on for going to them. One person I knew thought any sexual activity not done on 500 thread count sheets was tawdry. I have also been looked down on for hiring escorts. The same people will have no problem paying for vacations or dinners for their playmates but a straight forward cash transaction to them is tawdry. If this question revolves around the Christmas issue I must say I felt rather strange going to a bathhouse one Christmas Eve. Felt a little sad for myself but quickly got over it when I got inside and so so many others and had one hell of a good time. Most of us are raised with the idea that holidays are supposed to be spent with loved ones and in a "proper" setting.

[instudiocity]

I find sex with escorts best when the sex with them is so good, I forget that I'm paying for it. Ultimate fantasy - sex with a hot guy who enjoys sex with me.

[jjkrkwood]

I love sex clubs and bathhouses. Yes, I have been looked down on for going to them. One person I knew thought any sexual activity not done on 500 thread count sheets was tawdry. I have also been looked down on for hiring escorts. The same people will have no problem paying for vacations or dinners for their playmates but a straight forward cash transaction to them is tawdry. If this question revolves around the Christmas issue I must say I felt rather strange going to a bathhouse one Christmas Eve. Felt a little sad for myself but quickly got over it when I got inside and so so many others and had one hell of a good time. Most of us are raised with the idea that holidays are supposed to be spent with loved ones and in a "proper" setting.

 

Exactly right Travis and I would tend to agree, however some of us DONT have families, and our friends usually spend that time with THEIRS, so WE are left alone. I see nothing wrong with hanging out with others on a holiday, regardless of WHERE it is. "Misery LOVES company".....

[jjkrkwood]

JJ, I clearly said that neither hiring nor going to a sexclub was interior or superior to the other: "I don't see that hiring escorts, free hook-ups (via Craiglist, Adam4Adam, etc.) or sex clubs are inherently inferior or superior to each other,

 

YES Seek, I CAN read, but my point was that although your posts are welcome and appreciated, they always come off, at least in MY case as you trying to call me out on something and scold me. We are BOTH adults, and neither one of us needs a behavioral tutorial.....

[Decatur Guy]

On the escort vs. sex club thing, I've done both at the same time ... hired an escort to go to a sex club with me! How do you like them apples!?

[maxwellissmart]

On the escort vs. sex club thing, I've done both at the same time ... hired an escort to go to a sex club with me! How do you like them apples!?

 

I always thought that would be hot.

[maxwellissmart]

Most of us are raised with the idea that holidays are supposed to be spent with loved ones and in a "proper" setting.

 

You mean: "Most of us are raised with the idea that holidays are supposed to be spent with loved ones and in a 'proper' setting—arguing."

[jawjateck]

On the escort vs. sex club thing, I've done both at the same time ... hired an escort to go to a sex club with me! How do you like them apples!?

 

Me too DG! It was a smokin' HOTTTT time, plus good for lots of laughs as well. It was funny to watch guys scheming to pry/seduce him away from me. I loved it!

[jjkrkwood]

On the escort vs. sex club thing, I've done both at the same time ... hired an escort to go to a sex club with me! How do you like them apples!?

 

 

Now THAT is quite interesting, and a sure guarantee that you'll score. But i am way too frugal for that. I balked when they raised the fee from $16 to $20, but at least they gave better snacks for the additonal amount. :o

[jjkrkwood]

I always thought that would be hot.

 

OK Max you wanna go with ME ??? Ill pay your cab-fare + a $25 stippend for your time... And you get 1 hr of FREE playtime apart from me.

[maxwellissmart]

Did you forget a zero there?