And on that note...

[maxwellissmart]

...how open are you to the idea of having a client or escort as a "friend?" Obviously there are levels of friendship—do you allow clients or escorts in the door at all, and if so—how far?

[tyro]

I've become friends with one of my escorts. We communicate daily even though I can't see him all that often. He has been a blessing in my life.

Tyro

[jjkrkwood]

...how open are you to the idea of having a client or escort as a "friend?" Obviously there are levels of friendship—do you allow clients or escorts in the door at all, and if so—how far?

 

You wanna be my friend Max ??????

[tyro]

Quit flirting!!

Just kidding. I think.

Tyro

[josephga]

I really have no interest in being friends with my massage clients. Just as I assume my dentist and dr have no interest in befriending me.

[bigvalboy]

I really have no interest in being friends with my massage clients. Just as I assume my dentist and dr have no interest in befriending me.

 

I have developed friendship with a couple of escorts and I think that another one might be developing now, but I never go into a hire with that in mind. For me it is business, period. If something develops beyond that, well that is fine, but I don't look for something to happen, nor do I expect it to develop further. I choose my friends carefully. I have many acquaintances, but only a close group of friends surrounding me, so just because someone is an escort, that does not mean I would think that we would get along as friends.

[maxwellissmart]

You wanna be my friend Max ??????

 

I've made friends every period that I've escorted, some more successful than others.

[unsub2O17]

Wouldn't the escort have to be local to even begin to have the time and experience to maybe develop a friendship? And to answer the original question, yes, I can see that happening but over an extended period of time (and trust).

[corndog]

I think that its very complicated for a friendship to develop between a client and an escort, but possible.

 

It's very similar to a conundrum I've run across several times as I've become friends with bartenders. For the most part, it's a bartender's job to be friendly, and it also has a direct correlation to the tips they receive, I'm sure. I've got several friends now who are bartenders who I originally met as they were serving me drinks. As the friendships developed, I found myself holding back, never knowing for sure if I was overstepping the boundaries of our "professional relationship" or if perhaps they were actually trying to develop a regular customer more than a friend. So, these friendships started with a lot of hesitancy and a hint of distrust -- never good things in a friendship.

 

I'm happy to say, however, that in a couple cases I'm certain that these relationships have developed into true friendships, so it definitely is possible.

[OneFinger]

...how open are you to the idea of having a client or escort as a "friend?" Obviously there are levels of friendship—do you allow clients or escorts in the door at all, and if so—how far?

I hire VERY frequently. But, I have yet to host an escort at my home. I intentionally make sure there is a point of separation between business and my personal life. Possibly the only exception are those escorts that I've hired for the weekend or a vacation. But, I'm careful to make sure that my long-term hires do NOT become too personally attached.

 

There are some escorts with whom I exchange personal (but infrequent) e-mails. We are "friends" on some level but certainly don't have the level of friendship that I have with non-hiring friends.

 

Perhaps some will view me as cold or disinterested. I personally don't feel that is the case. But, I don't pretend or confuse a relationship-for-hire with a friendship.

[SteveEscort]

I don't pretend or confuse a relationship-for-hire with a friendship.

 

Same here. I have a rich and varied social life, my best friend is an ex female escort who keeps her hand in from time to time when she comes over and stays with me. Other than that I am friends with people outside of this work. I meet my cousin once a month for a wild drinks night where we drink far too much and bitch about family, I meet a friend once a week and we pop to my local pub for a bottle or two of wine. I have my 4 cats and dog and that's honestly enough.

 

I am friendly with clients, earlier this month I did one a copy chill out CD that he loved hearing on ipod on every visit, one client fixed my bathroom taps but that's as close as I want it to be.

 

When I close the door, I want to be me, not Steve, I want to go to bed at 7.30pm and watch TV all night with my favourite cat sat with me on my lap in bed and shut off from escorting. Escorting can consume your life if you allow it, I don't.

[Poolboy21409]

I have a friendly relationship with several escorts that I do hire and it works well. I am sure that if we were geographically closer, one or two of them may develop into real friendships. When the clock is running and the money is on the bedside table and the condoms, lubes and toys are out, we both get into our respective client-escort roles quite well.

[maxwellissmart]

Same here. I have a rich and varied social life, my best friend is an ex female escort who keeps her hand in from time to time when she comes over and stays with me. Other than that I am friends with people outside of this work. I meet my cousin once a month for a wild drinks night where we drink far too much and bitch about family, I meet a friend once a week and we pop to my local pub for a bottle or two of wine. I have my 4 cats and dog and that's honestly enough.

 

I am friendly with clients, earlier this month I did one a copy chill out CD that he loved hearing on ipod on every visit, one client fixed my bathroom taps but that's as close as I want it to be.

 

When I close the door, I want to be me, not Steve, I want to go to bed at 7.30pm and watch TV all night with my favourite cat sat with me on my lap in bed and shut off from escorting. Escorting can consume your life if you allow it, I don't.

 

I am a naturally gregarious person and at one time I would probably have said: "Oh Steve, you don't know what you're missing by not being friends with your clients!"

 

Two words: damage control.

 

You have to be very careful with whom you choose to befriend as an escort, or as a client. I've formed one relationship that truly is a friendship, but I've had some that have been problematic as well, to say the least.

[jjkrkwood]

I am a naturally gregarious person and at one time I would probably have said: "Oh Steve, you don't know what you're missing by not being friends with your clients!"

 

Two words: damage control.

 

You have to be very careful with whom you choose to befriend as an escort, or as a client. I've formed one relationship that truly is a friendship, but I've had some that have been problematic as well, to say the least.

 

Sounds like a LIFE problem, not an escorting one. Its just a "general" caution when forming relationships with people. Hey, an escort can turn out to be a better friend than a civilian ?

It has to do more with the PERSON than his avocation.

[maxwellissmart]

Sounds like a LIFE problem, not an escorting one. Its just a "general" caution when forming relationships with people. Hey, an escort can turn out to be a better friend than a civilian ?

It has to do more with the PERSON than his avocation.

 

No, the problem was within the context of escorting, and escorting directly caused the problems later. I can't say for certain whether the relationship would have had the same issues—perhaps it would, perhaps it wouldn't.

[citylaw1]

I am good friends with a former Campus escort. I first saw him 10 years ago. When he retired (rather young) from the business we became friends. We have never even kissed since his retirement from the biz, and it works well.

[robberbaron4u]

"Escorting" is a business, not a social networking venue.

[jjkrkwood]

"Escorting" is a business, not a social networking venue.

 

 

 

there are MANY client members on this site that would probably refute that statement robber ? However, I have always agreed with that...

[maxwellissmart]

"Escorting" is a business, not a social networking venue.

 

Works both ways for me. When I moved here, I got all sorts of insight into the city by asking clients.

[+ purplekow]

"Escorting" is a business, not a social networking venue.

I am not usually friends with the owner of the coffee shop but after running into him at a few different social events, we became friendly and then friends. I still buy my coffee there and sometimes I get it for free.

I have had three or four escorts with whom I have become friendly. All of these men are in their late 30's or early 40's and though I no longer hire any of them, two of the four are still escorts, we were friends when I hired them and we remained friends after.

 

One i see regularly for dinner and he has stayed at my home dogsitting for me when I was away. He has left his dog with me when he has gone away on trips. We go to shows together and talk about business and family and finances.

 

Two of the others, text me regularly. The fourth one, passed on, but his mother occasionally calls me, though it has been several years since his passing.

Friends are difficult to find. As we move from youth to middle age, there are usually fewer and fewer people in our lives. Long time friends pass on or move on and our circle closes. There are those of us that close the door to our lives and decide to keep others out. There are those with bulky bouncers guarding the door, letting in only those who meet preordained standards. Then there are others who leave the door unguarded and try to welcome in those who pass.

 

I suggest that there are many of us here in each category. Our own life experiences strongly influence our choice. For me, yes it is possible to be friends with an escort. Based on his postings here, I could never imagine robberbaron4u being friends with an escort, though he could probably be a benefactor. I would guess, based on the very limited knowledge I have of rb4u from his posts, that he would also be unable to be friends with his postman, butcher or yoga instructor. I am not sure about his doctor or lawyer, my guess is probably not.

[uwsman2]

There was one fellow I first met when I hired him as an escort, and it was his personality more than the escorting that caused me to hire him a few more times until our relationship transitioned to friendship - to the point where we wouldn't think of having sex. We had other interests in common that seemed to predominate. This was many years ago, and I am still in regular touch with him since he moved back to Europe and I visited him there when attending a conference. It is a friendship I treasure now, regardless of how it started.

[Lohengrin1979]

There was one fellow I first met when I hired him as an escort, and it was his personality more than the escorting that caused me to hire him a few more times until our relationship transitioned to friendship - to the point where we wouldn't think of having sex. We had other interests in common that seemed to predominate. This was many years ago, and I am still in regular touch with him since he moved back to Europe and I visited him there when attending a conference. It is a friendship I treasure now, regardless of how it started.

 

This has been the case for me as well. I have two very close friends who at one point I had hired as an escort and an erotic masseur repeatedly. We started to hang out together and gradually formed friendships. Now I couldn't really fathom hiring them in their former role because of the friendship but we go out all the time and text and FB each other frequently. I don't go into hiring looking for my next best friend but I think if there is chemistry between two people, it's going to happen and you're denying yourself if you stifle it.

[Guest countryboywny]

I'm open to friendship with the escorts that I've seen. As a matter of fact, I encourage it because I need/want some kind of connection with the man I'm playing with. That being said, I leave it totally up to the escort as to how "close" our friendship will be. I have always offered the guys I really like the opportunity of connecting with me. Some say thank you and that's it, and some email/text now and them, and a very few email me regularly. I don't stalk them, I don't send incessant email, I respond to their email promptly and leave it to them as to how often. I don't expect our connection to be a path to being their boyfriend or some silly outcome. I'm a realist, I know the score and there's no ulterior motive other than being a caring, nuturing friend.