Being honest with a potential client

[maxwellissmart]

I just had someone send me an email with a laundry list of things they'd like to experience during meeting with me. It's not that the list was that demanding or unrealistic in general—it's that it was unrealistic from me. The client wanted me to do a number of things I'm not particularly good at or enthusiastic about (and are not mentioned anywhere in any review of me), and of course the one thing I DO always like to do (which is mentioned in EVERY review of me)—they don't like at all.

 

So... I wrote back and said: "hey, I don't think we're a good match, and I think you've got an incorrect impression of what meeting with me is like. I'm not [this particular type] at all, really—and don't want to lead you on and have you expect something that you won't likely get."

 

I don't think it was a bad decision.

 

Do you turn down clients, or do you meet with everyone and hope for the best?

 

[josephga]

I think you did the right thing. you can't be everything too everybody. I turned down a massage client two weeks ago because he wanted to worship my feet.

[maxwellissmart]

I think you did the right thing. you can't be everything too everybody. I turned down a massage client two weeks ago because he wanted to worship my feet.

 

HA—I've had two clients who did that. Both times left me feeling completely unfocused and like: "what the hell was that supposed to be?" And I like feet!

[josephga]

I always massage the clients feet but Id feel funny having them doing stuff too me. He wanted to scrub my feet, use all kinds of special brushes. and not only tickle my feet but tickle me all over. To me a massage therapist is only entitled to payment and no services themselves. I told him that and told him besides that I'm not ticklish

[maxwellissmart]

To me a massage therapist is only entitled to payment and no services themselves. I told him that and told him besides that I'm not ticklish

 

Interesting—I've never heard that viewpoint before. I've always subscribed to the belief that they need to pay me and SUCK MY COCK.

 

But that's just me.

[Juan Vancouver]

I think you made the right choice. I don't see why anyone would need to do anything that they are not excited or comfortable about, regardless of the money they would make. There will be people who are looking for the service you are happy to provide and there will be tons of other escorts who are waiting for a chance to provide the service you don't.

 

By being direct with your client you are only freeing him to go meet with someone that is a right match for him.

 

Personally I think it is healthy even turning down a client because his tone on the phone doesn't feel right for you. We are in the business of intimacy and closeness and regardless of what a lot of clients here passionately believe, it is really difficult to act and pretend you like someone you don't. And... why would you need to? Life's too short to squander it on situations that are not good for us.

 

There are always wonderful clients with whom you click and get along famously. I think it is our professional obligation to focus on those and let the rest move along and find a perfect escort for them.

[nate_sf]

I wholeheartedly agree with what Juan says, as well as what you did Max. When the potential client is clearly looking for something that is not my expertise, I'll tell him so rather than wind up in a situation where he'll be disappointed. In my case it is usually when they want me to be excessively abusive and/or violent, and I can't carry that off as much as I love most role play.

 

And as Juan says there have been times where in talking on the phone or email things just don't feel right, so I've learned to go with intuition and avoid those situations.

 

As for a foot fetish appointment, I'd LOVE it, but that's in the context of an escort appointment. For a massage appointment, I agree that would be expanding the boundaries of the massage a bit much.

[CowboyUp]

From a clients' perspective, I would much prefer to have an escort decline my invitation to meet if he feels we are incompatible. It saves us both from a potentially unpleasant experience.

[seeker630]

From a clients' perspective, I would much prefer to have an escort decline my invitation to meet if he feels we are incompatible. It saves us both from a potentially unpleasant experience.

 

I definitely agree! I have HATED the few times it was obvious the escort was not 'into' the experience or obviously didn't enjoy what I wanted to do. When making arrrangements, I always state that compatibility is very important.

[jjkrkwood]

I am sure your goal is to give your client the best personal experience you can ? AND you can only be expected to draw on your actting skills so much. Somehow lack of enthusiasm will always come out if you are not enjoying yourself or finding the session satisfying . You did the right thing and put ethics over finances. 2 Thumbs up Max (and ill put those thumbs anywhere you want them)

[SteveEscort]

I turned down a client earlier this week who wanted a to be fucked and swallow my cum. I turned him down, not because I prefer to bottom but because I had an appointment booked in for 3 hours later than his request with a guy who likes the exact same thing.

 

It's impossible for me to recover from an all out session at 7pm when seeing someone else who expects me to cum at 10pm, there are many men who can cum multiple times and I can do it 2-3 times a day if required but I can't recover that quick and I would disappoint my regular hotel guy.

 

I have tried to compromise before and ask if we can refrain from me ejaculating but it's not usually an option. It's not very often I do cum during appointments but I think clients like to think you will if it leads that way.

[maxwellissmart]

I turned down a client earlier this week who wanted a to be fucked and swallow my cum. I turned him down, not because I prefer to bottom but because I had an appointment booked in for 3 hours later than his request with a guy who likes the exact same thing.

 

It's impossible for me to recover from an all out session at 7pm when seeing someone else who expects me to cum at 10pm, there are many men who can cum multiple times and I can do it 2-3 times a day if required but I can't recover that quick and I would disappoint my regular hotel guy.

 

I have tried to compromise before and ask if we can refrain from me ejaculating but it's not usually an option. It's not very often I do cum during appointments but I think clients like to think you will if it leads that way.

 

I have so many clients who simply don't care. I love doing it, but only if it's in the moment. I don't like it if they come and five minutes have passed and then they're like: "well, it's your turn."

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

Right thing done Max. Remember, your reputation is everything in this industry.

 

If you had accepted the appointment, the chances are that the client would have been disappointed, written a bad review, and then you would have a strike against you. Even though the scene might not match what I am looking for when I hire, the negative will stick in the back of my mind - I won't remember that it was because you wouldn't do something that turns me off.

 

So... I wrote back and said: "hey, I don't think we're a good match, and I think you've got an incorrect impression of what meeting with me is like. I'm not [this particular type] at all, really—and don't want to lead you on and have you expect something that you won't likely get." \

 

My only suggestion to your reply is to keep it simple. From the client's perspective, we never like hearing that we are wrong. A simple, "Hey, I don't think we're a good match, I don't provide these services" would be satisfactory. The rest is implied.