Advice that actually works

[maxwellissmart]

I just had a client who talked with me on the phone for several minutes—and managed to raise a few red flags while doing so.

 

1) "What sort of penetration do you get into while you're with a client?"

2) "Can you send me some pictures, since the ones of you in the profile are old?"

 

It may not seem like it—but I often stumble over what to say when talking to someone live, because I don't want to disappoint anyone, or lose an appointment, or come across as a jerk. At the same time, I don't want to create problems for myself either. I've started being a bit more businesslike than casual and keeping it simple by saying: "I'm not comfortable discussing that over the phone," which is succinct and to-the-point, and "My pictures are all available in the profile you got this number from—and current." The guy tried to come back with "oh, but the pictures are OLD" and I said, "no, they aren't really. I just put the new ones up before Christmas, so they still represent me fairly accurately." At that point he gave up and hung up on me.

 

I appreciate the escorts who take the time to answer questions and offer up useful advice. I totally believe in the "quid pro quo" approach of doing things in this business—which means that I'll be happy to return the favor anytime.

[JoeyBryant]

So what's the question? Sorry...kind of flew over my head on this one.

[maxwellissmart]

So what's the question? Sorry...kind of flew over my head on this one.

 

There isn't a question. I was saying that I'm now able to answer questions like these by using advice that has been offered up previously on the board by other escorts, and I appreciate the fact that I can rely on that advice.

[josephga]

I think what you said was fine. you shouldn't have to send more pics.also imo clients should no better than to try to talk about sex on the phone or in a email.

I've had clients call me and ask me what's the difference between sensual and erotic massage? I have no clue how to respond to that. they don't get that I can't risk the loss of my license by taking a conversation in that direction. some guy called tonight talked 10 minutes and decided to pass because I said no to letting him tickle me. don't people no what a fucking massage is?

[JoeyBryant]

There isn't a question. I was saying that I'm now able to answer questions like these by using advice that has been offered up previously on the board by other escorts, and I appreciate the fact that I can rely on that advice.

 

Oh okay, I gotcha. So you're saying the best advice is from another escort right? Rather than a client?

[BostonPhil]

I find getting the client perspective valuable too. Just like we want to know what we are getting into when we take them on as a client, they also want to know what they are getting for their money. It's a fair question but one many don't understand we can't answer.

 

People who are hiring for the first time generally make the mistake of asking a direct question or saying what they want to do to/with me. When they ask a question that is easily evaded, I do. They say "I really want to f*ck you!" and my response is "I'm sorry, you've the wrong idea about me. Have a good evening."

[josephga]

I tell clients that the laws regarding massage only allow me to discuss therapeutic aspects of a session only. however I can tell you are sessions are hand contact only. that way they get the message there's no oral or anal. When it comes to massage I find the best clients to be those who ask the least questions. A guy contacted me two weeks ago asking what % is therapeutic what % is erotic% ? massage doesn't work that way you can't break it down to %ishes. erotic isn't just a hand job or a sexual service. I'ts lighting, the music the flow of the hands. setting the mood of the room

[maxwellissmart]

Oh okay, I gotcha. So you're saying the best advice is from another escort right? Rather than a client?

 

No.

 

I'm saying "thank you escorts" for taking the time to post advice that I've actually found to be useful in my daily encounters with escorts. And as a result of me using advice, I am always happy to post my own from experiences that I have had.

[BostonPhil]

I tell clients that the laws regarding massage only allow me to discuss therapeutic aspects of a session only. however I can tell you are sessions are hand contact only. that way they get the message there's no oral or anal. When it comes to massage I find the best clients to be those who ask the least questions. A guy contacted me two weeks ago asking what % is therapeutic what % is erotic% ? massage doesn't work that way you can't break it down to %ishes. erotic isn't just a hand job or a sexual service. I'ts lighting, the music the flow of the hands. setting the mood of the room

 

Sounds like he was new to the idea of erotic massage.

[maxwellissmart]

No.

 

I'm saying "thank you escorts" for taking the time to post advice that I've actually found to be useful in my daily encounters with escorts. And as a result of me using advice, I am always happy to post my own from experiences that I have had.

 

Or rather... daily encounters with clients.

[maxwellissmart]

Hi Maxwell,

 

From time to time I get these guys presenting themselves as "clients" but they mainly want to get excited and probably jerk off without intending to make an appointment at all. To me half a red flag is when someone's asking details that can easily be found in my ad or profile or on my website. (Let me call those orange flags.) A few months ago I had a text phone "conversation" that roughly went as follows:

 

12:18 him :

Wanted to know if I u were available tonight. Staying at Hotel, 9pm ok? Thanks

 

12:21 me :

9pm definitely works. Sounds like fun. Which hotel?

 

15:41 him :

XXX Hotel. Is that good?

 

15:45 me :

Sounds perfect to me.

 

15:51 him :

Will share room # when I arrived

 

15:52 me :

Perfect, in the mood for it.

 

15:53 him :

Glad u r in the mood. I read price so will get cash out.

 

15:55 me :

LOL, actually I'm always in the mood. Looking forward.

 

15:58 him :

On plane now. Tell me somse stats on u if u can. To get me excited to chill for later

 

16:05 me :

Stats:42 6'2 180. Do you have wifi on board? You maylike to check the pics on http://www.antonamsterdam.com .

 

16:08 him :

Cool. Bi guy here that travels tooooo much and need to chill big time.

 

(Then he's not responding for 4 hours which I didn't expect. If he wants to meet at 9pm, I have to start freshening up at 8pm so I respond myself : )

 

20:10 me :

Landed safely? Would you give me your room nr? If I want to be in time I need to be gonig soon. Anton.

 

(Now he's not responding at all, which is a real orange flag to me and I decide to "try a test" : )

 

20:28 me :

Let me know if you would want to cancel. Then I don't have to wait for you and can honor other requests.

 

20:30 him :

Sorry just landed. Still at airport. Let's try tomorow sorry

 

20:32 me :

perfect idea. It's much better to do the things we planned in a relaxed way. Looking forwrd to tomorrow!

 

(The next day I don't hear from him. If he wants to meet at 9pm I need to start "freshening up" at 8pm. Actually, I didn't have high hopes that this would be an appointment, but I was still in the mood for "testing things" : )

 

19:09, me :

Hi there. Is there a time you'd like to meet this evening? (Just so I can plan a bit)

 

19:10 him :

I am still working sorry I can't now.

 

(Please note;

- the specifics of the text messages have been changed and are for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance with a real person are a pure coincidence.

- Text that I put in italic is what I consider orange flags.)

 

I consider them guys with a euphemistic mindset who just try and see how far they get. Sometimes they want "dirty talk", other times they want more pictures. Some will probably see it as a game they're playing, trying to get as far as possible. For me it can also be a game. However, my game starts when I suspect that someone's trying to play a game. I'll play the game with him, but then into a direction that I like (= be really polite, make sure that a true client is treated respectfully and that a serious appointment is not screwed by me, but a gamer will get the message "Game over. You're still on level 1" ).

 

Playing that game is still a waste of time, but at least now it doesn't bother me as much as it did before.

 

If anyone asks me specifics about my service, prices, or pictures, my answer is quite standard : "Sorry, I'm in a public place where I can't really talk." (This is my alternative for "I'm not comfortable discussing that over the phone" and a smart guy should get the message.) Then I continue with: "The infomation you need is on the internet page you found". (And here I show that I know that they are fishing for information they already have.)

 

The fact that the guy who called you hung up on you confirms to me that he just wanted to get excited without making an appointment at all.

 

I hope this helps.

 

Regards, Anton.

 

Oh yeah—been there. When I first started doing this a number of years back I would have clients call and expect me to "audition," and of course being new at the game I had no idea they were jerking off in the background. One wanted me to get verbally abusive with him but still follow a sorta-script that would touch on the topics he found exciting. I'd had a bad day and discovered about 30 seconds in that I really enjoyed veering off-script and hearing him splutter and not get what he wanted from me. And suddenly I had the epiphany: "he has no intention of hiring me... he's wanting me to do this for free." So then I just kept doing it on purpose, and it got to the point where we were actually screaming at each other over the phone because he was so upset. It was awesome.

 

To touch on something Joey posted earlier regarding Juan and his writing style—I don't always agree with what escorts post on here, but that's because it might be a different kind of situation or a different kind of client than what I'm used to. But I have gleaned useful information from pretty much all of the escorts who have posted regularly, and I tend to feel that escort-concern threads are typically the most interesting.

[Juan Vancouver]

To touch on something Joey posted earlier regarding Juan and his writing style...

 

I was very distraught when I read that, so much that I submitted copies of what I wrote to a very prolific, endlessly published writer, Barbara Cartland. Sadly she was not available to comment due to her having been deceased for quite a long time.

[JoeyBryant]

I was very distraught when I read that,

 

well, I apologized and reiterated myself and you did as well. Let's move on.

[zeyfur]

Yeah. Joey needs to move on.

[seeker630]

Yeah. Joey needs to move on.

 

Pot...kettle.

[maxwellissmart]

I was very distraught when I read that, so much that I submitted copies of what I wrote to a very prolific, endlessly published writer, Barbara Cartland. Sadly she was not available to comment due to her having been deceased for quite a long time.

 

I'm a VC Andrews girl myself.

[citylaw1]

Yeah. Joey needs to move on.

 

Meeting with Joey must be pure bliss. His postings here reveal what seems to be an intelligent, warm, engaging and thoughtful young man. Definitely overnight material.

[citylaw1]

Unfortunately the runaround seems to be more prevalent lately. I email several escorts and don't hear back, or they stop responding, etc. I have many quality encounters, however, I must work harder lately. I travel a lot and I often look for overnights ... this may raise a flag to them ... understandably so I guess. I used to prefer agencies for this very reason, and I suspect that many escorts may work for an agency for the same reason.

[KMEM]

I was very distraught when I read that, so much that I submitted copies of what I wrote to a very prolific, endlessly published writer, Barbara Cartland. Sadly she was not available to comment due to her having been deceased for quite a long time.

 

LOL.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[maxwellissmart]

Unfortunately the runaround seems to be more prevalent lately. I email several escorts and don't hear back, or they stop responding, etc. I have many quality encounters, however, I must work harder lately. I travel a lot and I often look for overnights ... this may raise a flag to them ... understandably so I guess. I used to prefer agencies for this very reason, and I suspect that many escorts may work for an agency for the same reason.

 

I'd be happy to meet someone for an overnight—provided they didn't ask me for a play-by-play of what's going to happen every minute, or ask me to describe explicit acts, or ask for pics that are already on my profile, or tell me I'm too expensive when I'm actually at the middle-to-low end of the fee continuum, or contact me three months in advance and then go silent until 45 minutes before they want to meet, or ask for a discount from the get-go because they're "going to be" a regular client... and so on, and so on. Apparently it's been a full moon every day for the month of April.

[zeyfur]

Meeting with Joey must be pure bliss. His postings here reveal what seems to be an intelligent, warm, engaging and thoughtful young man. Definitely overnight material.

 

Yes. I cry every night at the thought of not being able to spend the night with the intelligent, warm, engaging, thoughtful young man. My loss, definitely !!!

[zeyfur]

I was very distraught when I read that, so much that I submitted copies of what I wrote to a very prolific, endlessly published writer, Barbara Cartland. Sadly she was not available to comment due to her having been deceased for quite a long time.

 

Juan- your posts were supposed to be too long !!

[Juan Vancouver]

well, I apologized and reiterated myself and you did as well. Let's move on.

 

It is me the one who must apologize; Since I mentioned in my post one of the worst writers of the last century, which also happens to be dead, I thought it would be clear that my post was a joke. Maybe I should resort to emoticons from now on, just to make sure. =) Or should it be ;-) ?

 

Also, thank you for your feedback; I hate being reiterative. I don't like it! It displeases me enormously to be repetitive... don't like it!

 

As I said directly to you, Joey, I was not distraught at all. I have a very thick skin and even though I carefully listen to feedback to see what I can learn from it, I also know that opinions are like assholes: We all have one and we are convinced ours is the best.

 

I believe my arse hole is the best, though.

 

Oh, I almost forgot: ;-)

 

Juan- your posts were supposed to be too long !!

 

Long, thick, hard and throbbing, that's right! =)

[citylaw1]

I'd be happy to meet someone for an overnight—provided they didn't ask me for a play-by-play of what's going to happen every minute, or ask me to describe explicit acts, or ask for pics that are already on my profile, or tell me I'm too expensive when I'm actually at the middle-to-low end of the fee continuum, or contact me three months in advance and then go silent until 45 minutes before they want to meet, or ask for a discount from the get-go because they're "going to be" a regular client... and so on, and so on. Apparently it's been a full moon every day for the month of April.

 

Anyone that knows anything about booking escorts should have the initial email down. "Hi, I'm Citylaw1, looking for an overnight next Friday. Basically I'm looking for a few drinks, dinner and back to the room for some fun. I'm 40, white, professional, top. I assume that your pics represent your current look? If interested, please email me back with your rate. Thank you!"

 

This pretty much lets the escort know the deal. Obviously I plan on fucking him. I accomplished this without asking "can I fuck you?" I usually arrange a 5-10 minute phone conversation prior to meeting someone new, and will occasionally email a "what type of food do you like, so I can make us reservations?" and that's about it. I don't think that the escort should have to spend too much time chatting about stuff when we're gonna eat and fuck. I respect people's time, and anyone looking for drawn out bullshit is always a flake I assume. When I'm booking a vacation with someone I've previously met, I feel free to have more trip related email, etc., however, I NEVER ask "send me a pic" or flirt, etc. off the clock.

 

I can imagine how frustrating April has been.

[jgoo]

I'd be happy to meet someone for an overnight—provided they didn't ask me for a play-by-play of what's going to happen every minute, or ask me to describe explicit acts, or ask for pics that are already on my profile, or tell me I'm too expensive when I'm actually at the middle-to-low end of the fee continuum, or contact me three months in advance and then go silent until 45 minutes before they want to meet, or ask for a discount from the get-go because they're "going to be" a regular client... and so on, and so on. Apparently it's been a full moon every day for the month of April.

 

To some extent this highlights some of the difficulties faced by clients, especially those that are novices at hiring. On one hand there has been tons of advice that the key to increasing the chances of a good encounter is to communicate with the escort those things that are important to the client or they think the escort should know. But then there is the message from some that there can't be too much detail or it shouldn't be too explicit in the discussions. I tend to spell out what is important to me and then say if any of that is an issue, let me know.