Note Through The Door

[SteveEscort]

About an hour ago, I came home to find a note pushed through my letterbox. It read :

 

Hi, been thinking about you, really could do with some me time. Call me 07XXX XXXXXX Paul x

 

Anyway, I blocked my number and called him back. No answer. Left a message saying I would phone back in 20 minutes

 

Phoned back and he answered and said "Hi Steve I wondered if I could come over for sex, I have no money and you said you really liked me as a client and so maybe I've been reading too much into this but I'd like to be your boyfriend. I've seen you about in Gosforth in bars with friends and you look really confident and I would like to be part of your life".

 

Well............... it's going nowhere and I've asked him not to put notes through the door again. He was reading too much into it and I got a shiver down my spine thinking that this guy has been watching me having drinks with friends in my local neighbourhood and staring at me and my friends. I felt a little uneasy. I have just come back from Bodrum in South West Turkey on Tuesday so how long ago was it that he seen me out, it must be nearly a month since I had a drinkies down the High Street with friends.

 

Has anyone else had the note through the door thing. I must add that this isn't the first time I have had this, it's happened twice before but both with married men who lost my number and were ever so apologetic about it. It's the first time I have been spooked

[gallahadesquire]

How did he recognize you? Had you had a relationship before? Or is he just a random stalker?

 

If the former, you can more easily say "No thank you, I'd really rather not". If he's random -mmmm, that could mean trouble!

[down_to_business]

Steve- this is a classic example how clients can easily misinterpret an escort's intention with even a generic simple compliment. When a client is looking for something that isn't there or is hopeful that something can be there that is not, they are more likely to take what you say and make it into what they want to hear.

 

Personally I recommend complimets like " I really like your eyelashes" which is a little harder to misinterpret as true love! But all kidding aside, I feel this crosses the boundary of reasonable completely and would completely understand telling the client you can never see him again. He absolutely crossed the line with his actions.

[BostonPhil]

That is really creepy! I hope you told him that you could no longer see him at all and expressed how uncomfortable you were.

 

I did have a client text me one day while I was walking home, "Hey you around?" I read the text message and got to the corning by my apartment and he was standing right there. My first instinct was to lose it, I have a life outside of work and I have to live here. I walked up and calmly said "Hey, I'm sorry did we have an appointment today?" Knowing that we most definitely did not. He told me that he was just in the neighborhood and thought he would stop by. Now I don't live in a neighborhood that you would ever really find yourself "just in." I had to go back over the rules about contacting me first, then coming over. And everyone knows what he said next... "I sent you a text." I re-emphasized BEFORE and he had the nerve to ask if he could come up. There was no way I was rewarding him so I told him I wasn't comfortable with that right now.

 

I don't understand why any client would think going to an escorts home unannounced would ever be acceptable. What if the escort were in the middle of seeing another client? What if Steve's parents were visiting and dear mom answered the door "Stevie! Some guy is here asking if he can have sex with you, but he has no mon..."

 

Just be aware when you are out and about but don't let it get to you.

 

Steve- this is a classic example how clients can easily misinterpret an escort's intention with even a generic simple compliment. When a client is looking for something that isn't there or is hopeful that something can be there that is not, they are more likely to take what you say and make it into what they want to hear.

 

Personally I recommend complimets like " I really like your eyelashes" which is a little harder to misinterpret as true love! But all kidding aside, I feel this crosses the boundary of reasonable completely and would completely understand telling the client you can never see him again. He absolutely crossed the line with his actions.

 

Yup, that is a great example of why escorts are cautious when handing out compliments. I say we come up with a list of safe compliments escorts can use. I see your eyelashes and raise you a "You have a gorgeous neck. I just wanna ride it........."

[JoeyBryant]

Has anyone else had the note through the door thing?

 

Hell no...

 

Not having a go at you, but that sounds like someone one would meet on the streets or something. Someone can email, text, whatever. But with petrol the way it is, who wants to waste it to drive someplace and write a note?

 

That's just crazy. Seems like he was going to show up announced. What do you think would have happened if you let him in? What about if you didn't let him in? He'd probably be ready to kick down the door...

[nate_sf]

Interesting timing with this question. I had a similar experience just the other day, not as assertive as putting a note through the door but still odd. Especially odd since I don't do incalls, but somehow he figured out where I lived.

 

For your situation, you could tell him you have a rule against dating clients, and/or you're already dating someone. It's also fair to ask that he not visit unannounced. The agreement between escorts and clients is that escorts are expected to respect the privacy of clients, and in turn clients should respect the escort's privacy.

[tom1980]

I agree that this is creepy. I'm sure this is one reason why some escorts refuse to do incalls. Surely if this guy had seen you as a client in the past, he could have contacted you in a more conventional and appropriate manner? The fact that he personally delivered a written message to your home shows that he has no understanding of proper boundaries. I would never show up at an escort's home unannounced (or even stand outside the apartment building and send him a text message -- less weird but still very inappropriate behavior, and I think Phil handled it very well). I can't help but think how I would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. I would be completely freaked out if an escort showed up at my when I hadn't scheduled an appointment.

 

The fact that he saw you at a bar and took notice is less concerning to me. I saw an escort I've hired a few times in the past at the grocery store today. I didn't engage him because I was with others, and he was also with someone. I'll certainly remember that I saw him at the grocery store a month from now. It's rare that I see an escort outside of the hiring experience. I can remember the last time it happened too -- probably six months ago while I was walking down the sidewalk in downtown Dallas. He passed me while walking in the other direction. I don't think the escort noticed me on either occasion. So I don't necessarily think it's odd that this guy would remember seeing you in a bar, even months after the fact. On the other hand, I can see why you'd be concerned based on his other behavior. It makes you wonder if he has been stalking you and followed you from your home to the bar so that he could watch you. And the fact that he couldn't have seen you at a bar recently makes you wonder how long he's been watching you (assuming he did follow you there before).

 

Although it's creepy, this is probably just a lonely guy who doesn't understand boundaries. My guess is that you did a great job as an escort fulfilling your client's desires and making him feel good about himself. He got his signals mixed up and wondered whether you were genuinely interested in him. Then he saw you out a bar, noticed your interactions with your friends and got a little obsessed. After thinking about it for a month or so, he finally got up the courage to ask you whether you'd be up for something more. Then he used very poor judgment in deciding how to pose the question (not that his believing you would want a relationship doesn't also exhibit poor judgment). It's possible that he's actually been stalking you, but it's more likely that he's just lonely, slightly obsessed, and doesn't understand appropriate boundaries.

[SteveEscort]

How did he recognize you?

 

I've seen him as a client apparently but I have no idea who he is

[SteveEscort]

Thanks for your input. I made it quite clear in the phone call that it was not acceptable and not to put notes through my door again

 

It did spook me a little especially as I have no idea which client he is and when I last seen him. That's the most disconcerting part about it

[JoeyBryant]

Thanks for your input. I made it quite clear in the phone call that it was not acceptable and not to put notes through my door again

 

It did spook me a little especially as I have no idea which client he is and when I last seen him. That's the most disconcerting part about it

 

I'm not a fan of some of the newer highrise buildings (aka fortresses) that require 3 codes just to get into the lobby...but, doesn't it make ya wanna LOL?

[jawjateck]

I'm not a fan of some of the newer highrise buildings (aka fortresses) that require 3 codes just to get into the lobby...but, doesn't it make ya wanna LOL?

 

I live in a highrise. It's funny that on three occasions I have run into escorts that I have previously hired. The first time it happened I was initially creeped out by it, but then, I came to my senses and remembered that there are hundreds of units in the building and appreciated the fact that a fellow resident had the same good taste as I. So, while it's possible that another resident could give an escort access to enter the building and then show up at my door, fortunately, that has never happened. It would be awkward if it ever did, and I would not hesitate to call security.

[SteveEscort]

LOL

 

Going back 10 years ago, I did a mini tour with a female escort friend. We booked a hotel room in Carlisle and worked out of it for a couple of days. One of us disappearing whilst the other had work. I received a phonecall from a guy who had seen my listing and wanted to know if I could do an outcall to the Holiday Inn. I was at the Holiday Inn hahahahaha. Yes I said and asked his room number. He was in 307. We were in 311..........................

 

I got myself ready, did the appointment and then he insisted on walking me to the door as he was going to have a drink in the bar. How was I supposed to sneak past and back to the room. Luckily I remembered there was a fire escape, so phoned my friend and said come to the fire door and let me in. She came out of the room and left the key card in the room and she was in pyjama's and slippers. Shit.......... now I had to go to reception and get a new key card and reception and the bar were one and the same........ in the end we phoned reception on my phone and a bell boy came to our rescue. Luckily he didn't ask any questions.

[JoeyBryant]

I live in a highrise. It's funny that on three occasions I have run into escorts that I have previously hired. The first time it happened I was initially creeped out by it, but then, I came to my senses and remembered that there are hundreds of units in the building and appreciated the fact that a fellow resident had the same good taste as I. So, while it's possible that another resident could give an escort access to enter the building and then show up at my door, fortunately, that has never happened. It would be awkward if it ever did, and I would not hesitate to call security.

 

Had that happen the other night. Not running into a client, but a client I previously visited twice happened to live in the same building as this client. I'm like, deja vu, deja vu, this all looks familiar? Apparently it's a popular residences for this hip 40s crowd.