Dinner, a follow-up to the coffee thread

[down_to_business]

I am mostly interested in the escort perspective on this. I am going to hire you for a 1 hour appointment at our agreed upon rate. After the appointment, I would like to invite you to take you out to dinner at the restaurant of your choice.

 

Here is my thoughts. The offer for dinner will be off the clock. There is no expectation that you will accept nor is there any requirement for you to accept as part of our appointment (if you don't want to go there is no adverse consequence to you whatsoever).

 

Now I would like your thoughts. Do you think that I should not dare even make this offer to take you out to dinner? Even though you are free to accept or reject, do you wish that I would not have even made the offer because there might be some feeling of obligation to accept? Will you resent me for offering you a meal (free again to accept or reject) without paying you another $200+ for the privilege of buying you a nice dinner? Do you feel my invitation is insulting?

 

Thanks,

[Kevin Slater]

Not insulting at all, but rather a thoughtful compliment. As you say, he may or may not be able to accept, but no harm in asking.

 

Kevin Slater

[MiamiLooker]

I am mostly interested in the escort perspective on this. I am going to hire you for a 1 hour appointment at our agreed upon rate. After the appointment, I would like to invite you to take you out to dinner at the restaurant of your choice.

 

Here is my thoughts. The offer for dinner will be off the clock. There is no expectation that you will accept nor is there any requirement for you to accept as part of our appointment (if you don't want to go there is no adverse consequence to you whatsoever).

 

Now I would like your thoughts. Do you think that I should not dare even make this offer to take you out to dinner? Even though you are free to accept or reject, do you wish that I would not have even made the offer because there might be some feeling of obligation to accept? Will you resent me for offering you a meal (free again to accept or reject) without paying you another $200+ for the privilege of buying you a nice dinner? Do you feel my invitation is insulting?

 

Thanks,

 

Is the offer really just for dinner? If it was, you could simply give him the additional $75 or so and he could eat where he chooses and with whom he chooses, or even eat by himself. Aren’t you really asking for his companionship for another hour or so?

[SteveEscort]

This has been discussed before and I, as usual, have an opinion on it LOL

 

Most dinner date appointments I have, which isn't loads, tend to be on overnight appointments and if he's booked overnight of 12 hours and wants me to leave with him at 9am then I really don't mind turning up at 7pm for dinner.

 

When a guy books a dinner date appointment or overnight I also show my gratitude by taking along a nice bottle of expensive red wine to the hotel or champagne. A token of my appreciation for spending a lot of money on me again.

 

I don't watch the clock on dinner date appointments and I charge a fee based on personal and private time. For normal hotel appointment I would charge £80, which is about $130 an hour. For a dinner date of 4-6 hours from say 7pm to max 1am I would charge £250 which is about $400. One dinner date appointment is the same as the average take home pay for a 40 hour week working in a supermarket, so I know the value of money and how lucky I am to be in the work I love to do, therefore I am not greedy. I charge for 2 hours full rate at £150 and the other hundred to cover the other time which works out around £25-£30 an hour. I have to get a cab to and from the hotel and that costs me £30, especially when the meter cranks up after midnight.

 

If a client said, well Steve if we do dinner and a couple of hours afterwards would £200 be ok, I am more likely to say yes if he's up front about costs but if I have to do a deal then the wine/champage may not be on offer LOL, especially as I spend £20 of my fee buying Moet as a nice gesture for the client.

 

At the end of the day, it's all about compromise. Find an escort who is willing to compromise and you're onto a winner but don't abuse it. It's nearly always the escort who has to compromise and not the client and so bear that in mind when sorting out a package

[+ purplekow]

I know you asked for an escort perspective but I am adding my 2 cents anyway.

 

If I am going out for a 2 hour or more session and then plan on having dinner alone, I will often inform the escort before the encounter that I will be going out to dinner and he is welcome to join me, if he wishes, no strings attached. Some have joined me others have not. On a few occasions, after dinner, surprise, dessert served back in the hotel.

 

So perhaps the OP is asking for further company but for the escort, a man has to eat and it may generate more business.

 

Go ahead and ask as long as you really mean no strings attached

[down_to_business]

Is the offer really just for dinner? If it was, you could simply give him the additional $75 or so and he could eat where he chooses and with whom he chooses, or even eat by himself. Aren’t you really asking for his companionship for another hour or so?

 

Not all all. I actually prefer to dine alone and my choice in restaurants is going to be remarkably different from the escorts (more than likely) as I prefer a quick burger at a McDonald's to a sit down 'gourmet' experience. Also, there is no alterior motive or expectation to get anything because the appointment aspect has already been completed and the last thing I want to do after eating a meal is go have more sex. Sometimes an invitation to a dinner is actually just my way of trying to be nice.

 

Your suggestion would be tantamount to me asking him, would you like $75 more dollars to take yourself out to dinner. That's your suggestion to me?

[jgoo]

If I am going out for a 2 hour or more session and then plan on having dinner alone, I will often inform the escort before the encounter that I will be going out to dinner and he is welcome to join me, if he wishes, no strings attached. Some have joined me others have not. On a few occasions, after dinner, surprise, dessert served back in the hotel.

 

PK, I am curious if it is always with an escort you've hired before or if it is also with first time hires as well? I ask because I am reluctant with first time hires to do what you suggest (mentioning in advance going out to dinner afterwards and he is welcome to join me). If the appointment doesn't go as well as expected or if somehow I sense during our meeting that it would be a rather boring dinner with little interaction or interesting conversation, it can be awkward to back out of the invite. So I typically will just mention dinner at the end of the appointment if I think it will be mutually enjoyable to dine together. I realize there are times when the person didn't plan on that so may have other things to attend to and can't go. But for me, I like the flexibility of seeing how things go, especially with a first hire, before committing to a dinner afterwards.

 

While not all have accepted the offer, as far as I can tell no one was insulted but quite the contrary, seemed appreciative.

[BostonPhil]

If it is a first time hire, wait to ask them about dinner until after. What jgoo says works on the escort side of things too, I'd like to know that there we would be able to hold a conversation over dinner. Overnights are different, they tend to be planned in advance and there is usually more than a 5 minute phone conversation ahead of time.

 

Would I expect to be paid for the dinner time? Probably not. Here is what you do. You get your appointment all done, offer him the use of your shower to clean up. I always appreciate when the offer is made but I only take them up on it if it is in (Ha! 8 bigrams in a row! yeah I counted ha) a hotel. Let him get all dressed and take care of the fee. Then you can say "I'm headed to dinner, would you like to join me?"

[jjkrkwood]

I am mostly interested in the escort perspective on this. I am going to hire you for a 1 hour appointment at our agreed upon rate. After the appointment, I would like to invite you to take you out to dinner at the restaurant of your choice.

 

Here is my thoughts. The offer for dinner will be off the clock. There is no expectation that you will accept nor is there any requirement for you to accept as part of our appointment (if you don't want to go there is no adverse consequence to you whatsoever).

 

Now I would like your thoughts. Do you think that I should not dare even make this offer to take you out to dinner? Even though you are free to accept or reject, do you wish that I would not have even made the offer because there might be some feeling of obligation to accept? Will you resent me for offering you a meal (free again to accept or reject) without paying you another $200+ for the privilege of buying you a nice dinner? Do you feel my invitation is insulting?

 

Thanks,

 

I am just curious and NOT being facetious here, but as we know, one main goal for the escort is "selling" his time. Once you have completed your session, WHY would you think he would need a dinner (although a nice and noble gesture) rather than another $200-300 ??? On the surface, it would appear this gesture is more about yOU and not the escort, with you getting to spend extra time with him for the cost of a meal. Now if it were a $300 meal perhaps it would be different, but I am certain the escort would prefer the money ? (however, just an assumption)

[BostonPhil]

I am just curious and NOT being facetious here, but as we know, one main goal for the escort is "selling" his time. Once you have completed your session, WHY would you think he would need a dinner (although a nice and noble gesture) rather than another $200-300 ??? On the surface, it would appear this gesture is more about yOU and not the escort, with you getting to spend extra time with him for the cost of a meal. Now if it were a $300 meal perhaps it would be different, but I am certain the escort would prefer the money ? (however, just an assumption)

 

Who could turn down a Big Mac?

[jjkrkwood]

Who could turn down a Big Mac?

 

BP, make a trip to nYC and ill buy you a Big Mac WITH cheese, and a large side of those natural cut fries.... AND a smoothie. OFF the clock of course !

[Guest JackF]

This is an interesting thread, so I will put my .02 in, in the hopes of helping.

 

I've been offered meals by the "coupon clipper" type and also the higher spending type. I will sometimes oblige happily, if I know I've got some free time before/after the meeting to make the dinner/meal work on my end (school/studies keep me VERY busy). If it's someone I've met before and they aren't hard to talk with and aren't someone that I can forsee as "socially awkward" then I will usually take them up on the offer. If it's someone that refuses to talk much or aren't very open, then I try not to spend too much time, since it feels like I'm pulling teeth to get them to talk about simple things.

I enjoy meals from simple restaurants to the high-end steakhouses, which is always hard for me to say no! Unless I've got a prior studying commitment, which happens quite often. Unfortunately for me, school must come before "playtime" even though I wish it was the other way around!

 

Hope that helps....

[unsub2O17]

Not all all. I actually prefer to dine alone and my choice in restaurants is going to be remarkably different from the escorts (more than likely) as I prefer a quick burger at a McDonald's to a sit down 'gourmet' experience. Also, there is no alterior motive or expectation to get anything because the appointment aspect has already been completed and the last thing I want to do after eating a meal is go have more sex. Sometimes an invitation to a dinner is actually just my way of trying to be nice.

 

Your suggestion would be tantamount to me asking him, would you like $75 more dollars to take yourself out to dinner. That's your suggestion to me?

 

I'm planning on dinner (and paying for it) before an overnight, and I hadn't even thought about not eating before sex, but you're absolutely right! I guess I'll eat very little and not drink at all. As for paying the escort, I figured that I'd just make it the first part of the overnight time. Isn't it just that easy??

[down_to_business]

I am just curious and NOT being facetious here, but as we know, one main goal for the escort is "selling" his time. Once you have completed your session, WHY would you think he would need a dinner (although a nice and noble gesture) rather than another $200-300 ??? On the surface, it would appear this gesture is more about yOU and not the escort, with you getting to spend extra time with him for the cost of a meal. Now if it were a $300 meal perhaps it would be different, but I am certain the escort would prefer the money ? (however, just an assumption)

 

Where do you get the idea that I think he needs a dinner or anything else from me? You don't know anything about me to generalize that it's all about me. I have actually been known to invite people I patronize (outside of escorting) to a meal before (like my lawn care provider and my housekeeper) and I never made it an obligation or a condition of a continuing relationship. I also never even entertained the idea of having to pay them their hourly rate to join me and they generally seemed to appreciate the offer.

 

My question was not to try and come up with some sinister plot to get to spend a free night with an escort by bribery with a porterhouse steak. All I was trying to determine from an escorts point of view was whether or not they would appreciate the choice to either go out to dinner or if they would rather I not offer or find the offer insulting.

 

Amazingly, the escorts on the board have seemed to overwhelmingly say, its ok to invite and not insulting to them. They also have expressed that they may or may not choose to accept for a whole variety of reasons. It seems that the clients are the only ones that have a problem with this.

 

Thanks to all the escorts for their thoughts and opinions whatever those opinions may be. I learn a lot from all of you.

[MiamiLooker]

Not all all. I actually prefer to dine alone and my choice in restaurants is going to be remarkably different from the escorts (more than likely) as I prefer a quick burger at a McDonald's to a sit down 'gourmet' experience. Also, there is no alterior motive or expectation to get anything because the appointment aspect has already been completed and the last thing I want to do after eating a meal is go have more sex.

 

I never suggested you wanted more sex. You're asking someone who gets an hourly fee to spend time with you off the clock.

 

Sometimes an invitation to a dinner is actually just my way of trying to be nice.

Your suggestion would be tantamount to me asking him, would you like $75 more dollars to take yourself out to dinner. That's your suggestion to me?

 

Sure, if you're really just trying to be nice.

 

Whatever works for you (and the escort), go for it.

[down_to_business]

This is an interesting thread, so I will put my .02 in, in the hopes of helping.

 

I've been offered meals by the "coupon clipper" type and also the higher spending type. .

 

JackF-

 

Where can I clip your coupons from?

[down_to_business]

I never suggested you wanted more sex. You're asking someone who gets an hourly fee to spend time with you off the clock...

 

I guess we simply have a difference of opinion. You see it as asking someone who gets paid by the hour to spend time with me off the clock and I see it as simply inviting someone out to dinner at my expense that they are 100% free to accept or reject. I see it like the time I invited an escort I was seeing to a football game because I had an extra ticket and I knew he liked sports very much. He accepted. We met at the stadium and we both went to our own respective homes after the game. It's not like I invited him out off the clock every week or every time we got together. I don't think I actually ever invited him out off the clock anywhere else.

 

BTW even though your opinion is different, I respect it. Wow, now I know what some of the escorts feel like after posting here... I am not even an escort and I feel like I am on the hot seat defending even my right to ask a question!

[jjkrkwood]

Down-to-bus, your flying off the handle response to my post suggests to ME that I may have hit a nerve, eventhough i dont know you, as you say. Some things just seem "obvious" on the surface. I think offering your lawn care provider or housekeeper a friendly meal is VASTLY different than offering a meal to a person your have just paid to have sex with, and who's commodity IS their body.... There is no comparison, and although your motives are masked, at least to me, it implies something totally distinct from just a "friendly meal and chit-chat". And of course, its only my opinion.

[down_to_business]

Down-to-bus, your flying off the handle response to my post suggests to ME that I may have hit a nerve, eventhough i dont know you, as you say. Some things just seem "obvious" on the surface. I think offering your lawn care provider or housekeeper a friendly meal is VASTLY different than offering a meal to a person your have just paid to have sex with, and who's commodity IS their body.... There is no comparison, and although your motives are masked, at least to me, it implies something totally distinct from just a "friendly meal and chit-chat". And of course, its only my opinion.

 

You and I have vastly different ideas about what flying off the handle is. But thanks for your bullying.

[jjkrkwood]

BTW even though your opinion is different, I respect it. Wow, now I know what some of the escorts feel like after posting here... I am not even an escort and I feel like I am on the hot seat defending even my right to ask a question!

 

Noone here is disputing your right to ask a question, and it is realized that it was asked TO escorts. However you may not realize how your approach seems to an outsider, and although it may be a harmless, friendly gesture, to alot of us it just may not "translate" that way. When you ask questions that can have different answers, you should be open and gracious enuf to listen and accept there may be other viewpoints and opinions. There is no need to defend your question if this is the person you really ARE and how you function in life. Noone meant you any harm or disrespect. Posts should be considered the same way a face-to-face conversation would be, simply a conversation and exchange of ideas. My take on chat boards is that people post looking for support and WANTING people to agree with them and get bent out of shape when that is not the case.

[LouieD]

Just an observation: I've found guys in Europe and South America very receptive to being asked out to dinner after.

[+ FreshFluff]

On the surface, it would appear this gesture is more about yOU and not the escort, with you getting to spend extra time with him for the cost of a meal. Now if it were a $300 meal perhaps it would be different, but I am certain the escort would prefer the money ? (however, just an assumption)

 

But the extra money would only be an option if the escort can get another appointment during the dinner hour(s). Otherwise, it's a choice between a free dinner (of whatever quality) with the client vs. time on his own or with friends.

 

If I were an escort, my concern would be that the client might extend the dinner so that it lasts several hours and that I wouldn't be able to excuse myself without losing the client's business. So it might be a good idea for the escort to state that he has to meet someone/study for an exam in an hour or two, but that he's be happy to enjoy a dinner with the client until then.

[BostonPhil]

BP, make a trip to nYC and ill buy you a Big Mac WITH cheese, and a large side of those natural cut fries.... AND a smoothie. OFF the clock of course !

 

This gave me the munchies!

[jjkrkwood]

You and I have vastly different ideas about what flying off the handle is. But thanks for your bullying.

 

Bullying? Because I made an oberservation you dont agree with ?.. That comment is certainly irresponsible, and says alot about your frame of mind.

[jjkrkwood]

But the extra money would only be an option if the escort can get another appointment during the dinner hour(s). Otherwise, it's a choice between a free dinner (of whatever quality) with the client vs. time on his own or with friends.

 

If I were an escort, my concern would be that the client might extend the dinner so that it lasts several hours and that I wouldn't be able to excuse myself without losing the client's business. So it might be a good idea for the escort to state that he has to meet someone/study for an exam in an hour or two, but that he's be happy to enjoy a dinner with the client until then.

 

Certainly FF, there can be several diff takes on this situation, and ultimately up to the escort to decide for himself. The OP was clearly looking for support in his post based on his reaction to comments made by posters who had a diff take on his offer, even referring to my comments as "bullying". When you expose yourself publicly you must be prepared and accepting of people that WONT agree with you.