The Boyfriend Experience and long term deals.

[Guest carlheff]

I am new to the forum. This place is really interesting. I am also totally new to escorting in general.

 

I have come to realize that my job demands to much of my time and I do not have the energy or patience for a relationship at this moment. I will be traveling to Hilton Head, SC to blow off some steam for a couple months working remotely. While there I want to be able to have regular adult relations but also cook for someone, go out with someone, share my time with someone without worrying about hurting that persons feelings when it is over and I have to return to NY.

 

Can I hire an escort for a boyfriend experience for a month or longer? Is this typical? Would someone be willing to leave their life for that long? I have no idea. It just seems like it would be perfect for my situation. Also, what do you think would be a good rate for this? 10-15k/mnth? I have no idea.

 

Extra question: What do escorts consider 'the boyfriend experience'? Is this a real thing or movie/tv fiction?

[jjkrkwood]

I am new to the forum. This place is really interesting. I am also totally new to escorting in general.

 

I have come to realize that my job demands to much of my time and I do not have the energy or patience for a relationship at this moment. I will be traveling to Hilton Head, SC to blow off some steam for a couple months working remotely. While there I want to be able to have regular adult relations but also cook for someone, go out with someone, share my time with someone without worrying about hurting that persons feelings when it is over and I have to return to NY.

 

Can I hire an escort for a boyfriend experience for a month or longer? Is this typical? Would someone be willing to leave their life for that long? I have no idea. It just seems like it would be perfect for my situation. Also, what do you think would be a good rate for this? 10-15k/mnth? I have no idea.

 

Extra question: What do escorts consider 'the boyfriend experience'? Is this a real thing or movie/tv fiction?

 

I am NOT, but if you are asking if the BF experience will result in your having him be your REAL BF, most likely NOT. Its a roll the escort will play to accommodate you and earn his Fee.

But anything is possible, so it shouldnt be discounted all together. However, that SHOULD NOT be the reason you hire an escort for,.

[Guest carlheff]

Oh God no LOL! I would want the escort to play that role for the time that I have on my trip.

[jjkrkwood]

Oh God no LOL! I would want the escort to play that role for the time that I have on my trip.

 

Well i am certainly sure you can find an escort to your liking that will accommodate your request. However if its an exclusive short term arrangement, it wont come cheap.

[NYTomcat]

Unless you have a history with one. I would suggest trying out time together first before a long hire. Imho

[seeker630]

Unless you have a history with one. I would suggest trying out time together first before a long hire. Imho

 

I agree - and I think that most (all?) of the true professionals would insist on the same before committing to such an arrangement.

[bigvalboy]

Hey Carlheff, let me first say welcome welcome welcome. The forum is indeed a fascinating place to comment on and exchange ideas. While I always look for the bf experience in an escort, as long as you make it clear that is the type of hire that you are looking for, you should be fine.

 

After just returning from a weekend in Palm Springs with several members from the Message Forum, I have two comments. The first is that I tried and interviewed 3 escort that I wanted to accompany me to PS. Each time I was VERY specific in what I expected out of the experience. In the end, however the escorts that I had chosen had other careers and could not be seen out in public in a dinner or social situation, so I passed. After watching the other clients and escort interact for the better part of 3 days, many absolutely provided the bf experience to the client. I spoke casually with several of the members about this very subject, and all of them had no delusions about what was really going on. A hire is just that, and you have to be 'Crystal Clear' in what you expect....do NOT assume anything is understood. Spell out all of your desires completely and you should have an amazing time with anyone you choose.

 

In addition, for me personally I always tell the escort that if what is agreed upon is not met, then I will be more than willing to cut the weekend short and head home. There has to be in my opinion a consequence for not fulfilling their obligation. IMO...best of luck to you, BVB

[jjkrkwood]

Carl, for the lack of a better way to put this, you are embarking on a "Business Deal", and as in any business deal, there is always a written or Verbal Contract. Hiring of escorts should be NO different, and as the other members here, who are far more experienced in hiring than I am, have advised you, be thorough and specific in interviewing your prospects, and even more so once you have slected your guy. Misunderstandings are the quickest way to a disappointing experience. Honest communication will benefit you and be appreciated by your prospects and potential Hire.

[Kevin Slater]

Welcome to the forum. You'll find lots of good and some not-as-good advice here. As they say in AA, take what you can use and forget the rest.

 

My recommendation since you say you're new to this is start slow. Meet a few guys for one to three hours, see how that goes, learn what you need to ask before you book an overnight, and grow from there. If you have reasonable expectations and a few bucks to throw, you should have great times along the way. And keep us informed of the journey.

 

Kevin Slater

[ragazzolupo]

I know a couple of Italian boys who would get on a plane and take care of you and cook for YOU for a lot less than $10,00-15,000 per month. I suspect that there are also American boys who would like the same gig for a more reasonable price. An entire month at Hilton Head without the worry of signing up 30 clients would be just right for many escorts that I know as an alternative to the usual receiving at home or being on the travel circuit.

 

Here on the forum, if you put out your "type" and your desires, I suspect that there are both escorts who will respond and clients who will guide you. I agree that you should probably spend some time with anyone that you might hire for a month before you make a final decision.

[Keenan]

As an escort I can say that you should be able to find an escort willing to take a month or longer for a hire. Though it will be pricey. I suggest doing a weekend with the escort you have in mind first and if all works out then scheduling the amount of time you are looking for. Make sure that all expectations are known up front.

 

Keenan

 

I am new to the forum. This place is really interesting. I am also totally new to escorting in general.

 

I have come to realize that my job demands to much of my time and I do not have the energy or patience for a relationship at this moment. I will be traveling to Hilton Head, SC to blow off some steam for a couple months working remotely. While there I want to be able to have regular adult relations but also cook for someone, go out with someone, share my time with someone without worrying about hurting that persons feelings when it is over and I have to return to NY.

 

Can I hire an escort for a boyfriend experience for a month or longer? Is this typical? Would someone be willing to leave their life for that long? I have no idea. It just seems like it would be perfect for my situation. Also, what do you think would be a good rate for this? 10-15k/mnth? I have no idea.

 

Extra question: What do escorts consider 'the boyfriend experience'? Is this a real thing or movie/tv fiction?

[+ nycman]

A month in Hilton Head...and YOU do the cooking?...and I get paid 15K/month tax free??!?!?!

 

Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?!?.....I want that job!

 

(elbowing my way to the front of the line and knocking over more than a few pretty boys on the way)

 

Where do I send my head shots and resume?!?!?!?!

 

Grin

[rickp]

I agree that it's a great idea to meet the escort first and establish a relationship with him before embarking on a month long stay. I've traveled with several different clients for lengthy periods of time, but every single one of them started out as a one hour session. Over time, we realized that we had a lot in common and became friends; making the longer trips very enjoyable.

 

As far as giving up my life, I really don't see it that way. If I'm with someone who's company I enjoy and we're both having a good time, then I'm just as happy traveling as being home in New York.

[Bosguy]

Unless you have a history with one. I would suggest trying out time together first before a long hire. Imho

 

I totally agree with TC. I just spent 5 incredible days with a fantastic working guy in Palm Springs, but we had spent a number of times together prior to this.

 

I also would recommend spending prior time with your your gut of choice prior to this adventure. Welcome and good luck

 

Boston Bill

[maxwellissmart]

A month in Hilton Head...and YOU do the cooking?...and I get paid 15K/month tax free??!?!?!

 

Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?!?.....I want that job!

 

(elbowing my way to the front of the line and knocking over more than a few pretty boys on the way)

 

Where do I send my head shots and resume?!?!?!?!

 

Grin

 

Not the kind of opportunity that is taken lightly, or undertaken tomorrow—or even a month from now. Like others have said—you need to start hiring, and start off with small appointments. And you may decide over time yourself that the idea of spending a month (and a month fee) on someone who will essentially be a stranger isn't for you (the same goes for the escort at the other end of this arrangement). And an escort who can suddenly drop everything for a month is actually kinda... suspect, for lack of a better word. You'll also need to consider upfront fees, cancelation agreements and so on. No one who is truly a pro at this is just going to say: "Okay! Let's get started—I trust you to pay me in 30 days!" Ain't gonna happen.

 

If I were you, I'd plan to hire 3 escorts for a week each, with a day off in the middle of each week for "you" time. If one of them turns out to be great and you have a connection—awesome, rehire them for a second week at the end of the month. Otherwise, find escort 4 or go all out and hire someone different for each of the remaining days.

[+ purplekow]

If I were you, I'd plan to hire 3 escorts for a week each, with a day off in the middle of each week for "you" time. If one of them turns out to be great and you have a connection—awesome, rehire them for a second week at the end of the month. Otherwise, find escort 4 or go all out and hire someone different for each of the remaining days.

It may be difficult to hire a different escort each day in Hilton Head as supply is limited. I do think a week or 10 days with three different guys could be fun but it would entail getting used to each guy and you can pretty much count on some drama with it. You might look for someone local to the Carolinas. Some of those southern boys have very smooth moves to go along with very smooth bodies. As others have suggested please meet the man for a few sessions before running off for a month together. I assume that if 15000 for a month does not make you shudder, then money is not a major factor. You could possibly meet a nonprofessional from college looking to do home study and looking for some cash. Gay clubs on local campuses might be a source for them. Check the iD to make sure they are legal.

[+ azdr0710]

all good advice....communicate thoroughly and honestly....give and take....ask the guy what his ideas are, too....make sure you will both be in synch as necessary (early riser or not?, etc...)....plan on making sure he has some walking around money each day and give him a couple or three hours off each day, too, for email checks, phone calls, gym time, what have you...let us know how it goes....have fun, relax, don't overplan every last minute of the month

[Guest carlheff]

Thanks for all of the advice everyone. To answer a few of the questions/comments:

 

- I'm not really into sleeping around with multiple people and I like the stability of one person so that is why I sort of didn't want to do the multiple escorts over the course of my time.

 

- I realize this is going to take much longer to put together than I would have imagined. I will need to test out some people before going ahead.

 

- As far as planning my time or 'giving time off' lol I would rent the escort a car or something and they can do whatever they want. I have enough employees I have to deal with. But I think this brings up a great point in being clear about intention. I would have assumed the escort would feel free to do whatever they want now I understand that has to be agreed upon. Home for dinner and other adult fun I guess is required.

 

- Are people really that serious with escorts as in telling them that they have to be at a certain place for this amount of time. Like the guy in Palm Beach...did you regulate your escorts time during the week or did you let them do whatever? Am I being naive?

 

- Although, I think I would be serious about the escort not sleeping with anyone from my staff or anyone else period in the month or whatever. Is that too much to ask?

 

Thanks again for all of these great comments it is really opening up my eyes. I thought if you had the resources it would just fall into place. Apparently I need to get serious about expectations and breaches in contracts.

[+ purplekow]

Carl As with any business deal, the clearer the details, the more defined the expectations, the less likely you are to run into problems. Since most escorts are not hired for a month at a time, this situation is likely to be relatively new to him too. On an overnight hire, for example, an escort would likely expect a short bit of time to take care of personal issues, e mail and the like. However, there are some clients would want the escort 24/7 and there are others that take a more laissez faire approach.

It seems that you are a reasonable man and your expectations are not out of line. It is certainly reasonable to expect the escort to avoid sleeping with your staff, unless you are invited.

I believe if you approach this as you would an arrangement with an independent contractor, that is, business standard not personal standard, then you will find it easy to decide when enough is enough and not too much. Also, if things are not working out, you should have some agreement as to early departure. A month is a long time and you would be foolish to believe there wont be a time when one of you just wants out. What the consequences of that actually happening should be known beforehand.

Lots of luck.

[jjkrkwood]

Carl, forgive me, but the more I read from you the more I get the impression that you are taking the "escort route" BUT anticipating a lot more out of the experience. While you did make clear early on that you were not expecting your "boyfriend" experience to actually produce a boyfriend, I think you just might be deluding yourself in that I DO believe you forsee something MORE from this experience than just "short term" companionship.... By expecting an escort NOT to sleep with anyone else ON HIS OWN TIME while engaged by you is a bit unrealistic and bordering on "possessive", which gives me an uncomfortable feeling. However I do realize that things "in print" can be misunderstood, again I apologize if mY impression is off base. Different people take different roads to accomplish goals. Just be perfectly clear IN YOUR OWN HEAD as to what you want to achieve from this endeavor, and dont lie to yourself. The best of luck !

[nate_sf]

Another way of doing this could be to find a local guy who you can meet up with a few times each week. He could come over after work, join you for dinner, spend the night from time to time. Sort of a “dating boyfriend experience.”

 

A while back there was a guy who I used to meet this way a few times each week. Sometimes I’d just go over to his place after dinner and join him for a nightcap and play. Other times we’d meet for dinner in a restaurant, then either go home together or save the intimate stuff for another time. Though sex was the predominant feature of the arrangement, the times we got together to see each other and did not have sex were OK because there was the knowledge that sex would be the next time… maybe even the next night. Neither of us were in a position for anything more involved, so this arrangement worked for both of us. (Wow, that sounds like dating talk alright!)

 

So this would not be as much a commitment on either of your parts, and could be a viable alternative if you’re not able to find a guy for a full-fledged live-in. It may also be more realistic. Like JJ I'm troubled by your suggestion that you'd prefer the escort not be sleeping with others during this timeframe. I can see not sleeping with members of your staff, but anticipating an escort to be monogamous may be too much to ask. You may be able to find a guy who would agree to it on day 1, but you might find yourself second-guessing what he is doing during the day and wondering if he is remaining faithful to his commitment. A boyfriend experience for sure, but not in a good way.

 

Good luck... I'd say allow yourself to improvise a bit and an arrangement you might not have first thought of might reveal itself.

[BostonPhil]

Is the exclusivity question a one of quality, you would feel like you're getting second rate service after he's been out all day seeing other clients? Is it a concern for double-dipping, I'm already paying you greedy little bastard? Or is is that you would just prefer he not sleep with other people?

 

Personally, I would feel wrong going out seeing clients while some one had already engaged my services. But at the same time I would be a little put off by the suggestion some one could tell me what to do with my body.

 

I could see it reasonable to make the request that he not work for others while in your employ, but leave it open for him to go out and hook up or what ever he chooses. If you do this you are probably better off not going with a local but bringing some one with you.

[Guest carlheff]

Is the exclusivity question a one of quality, you would feel like you're getting second rate service after he's been out all day seeing other clients? Is it a concern for double-dipping, I'm already paying you greedy little bastard? Or is is that you would just prefer he not sleep with other people?

 

Personally, I would feel wrong going out seeing clients while some one had already engaged my services. But at the same time I would be a little put off by the suggestion some one could tell me what to do with my body.

 

I could see it reasonable to make the request that he not work for others while in your employ, but leave it open for him to go out and hook up or what ever he chooses. If you do this you are probably better off not going with a local but bringing some one with you.

 

I continue to appreciate the feedback everyone! A few of my comments have been pulled out of context so let me reset the table a bit.

 

On the exclusive issue: This was completely taken out of context. It was more of a sexual safety issue even though condoms of course will be used. I only play safe. I think BostonPhil provided great advice here. But I am still a little grossed out that the person would go sleep with someone then come back and sleep with me. I'm just old-fashioned I guess (only 28 here LOL but I'm old-fashioned). But maybe that's part of the deal. This is not possession this is more about respect for my body. But I'm totally flexible and could see how this might be too controlling.

 

On the relationship issue: I have no intention of making this into a relationship LOL. I have plenty of suitors (28, well-to-do and good-looking) but they always are needy and I am just too busy. I want a professional that plays the boyfriend character that will not be hurt when the trip is over and I cut ties. That's why I floated 20k/mnth. I figured this would be a lot to ask someone so I'm willing to pay whatever. It really doesn't matter (within reason of course).

 

Thanks again guys! I continue to be ever-impressed by how professional the advice is.

[gallahadesquire]

My two cents (while the USA still has them!)

 

i just spent a week in Orlando with a fellow I've had overnights with five or six times. it was a great time! Only once did he sneak off ... I was sleeping in ...

and he told me all about it!

 

So, whatever the concensus is: Unless you're paying his hourly rate x 24 hours x 30 days, or his daily rate x 30 days, or whatever: He'll need time to himself.

He might as well be naughty about it!

[BostonPhil]

But I am still a little grossed out that the person would go sleep with someone then come back and sleep with me.

 

I can kind of understand that but at the same time, this is what we do. On the personal safety issue, you are really not going to be any more at risk than if he weren't out doing his thing. I mean think about it, if he is doing something dangerous when you're there he has most likely done it before. I think you need to keep in mind that whomever you hire has mostly long ago lost track of the number of people they slept with, you should probably think of the time he is there with you the same way a client who hires me for an hour does. Live in the moment and put what happens when he is away out of your mind.