The lard frosting on the proverbial cupcake.

[maxwellissmart]

This past week has sucked. Period. I've been sick, under pressure at work, and my inbox has been filled to the brim from idiots and players who have contacted me before and apparently forgot I have the ability to look up past emails where they don't understand why I don't leap at the opportunity to give them a twenty-five dollar blow-job.

 

And then, this comes in: an extremely overweight guy who wants to meet next weekend. I have overweight clients all the time—in fact, I just got an email from another past client who is coming to town for almost six months on a work contract, and I can tell you right now we will meet at least once a week for the next six months.

 

But no, this client wants other things that make me uncomfortable about meeting, and then he tops it off with "and I want to play effeminate." Wah-wah—game over. But fortunately he gives me the "out" that if his size is a problem, then no worries.

 

Riiiiiight.

 

So I think about whether or not I can actually make this work rather than give him a knee-jerk reaction. I decide that it's not going to after all—and am about to send him an email saying I'm busy and can't meet when lo and behold—I get another email from him. Again, he states that if his size is a problem, just let him know and he'll look somewhere else and that it's no big deal. By this time it's been just over a day since the original email, and his appointment isn't until this next weekend. So I write back immediately and say: "you know what, I do appreciate your interest in meeting but I don't think it's going to work out." No mention of size (which isn't the problem anyway).

 

Wronnnng.

 

Now I have to deal with his tirade of emails telling me how he missed the "weight limit" in my ad, "how wrongly I've handled this" and "did I think I could talk myself into meeting with him by waiting all this time" and what a shame it is that he's "had to drag honesty out of me" and how I've "wasted so much of his time." I tried the whole "it's not you it's me, and I certainly don't want to waste your time or your money" approach, which apparently made it even worse. In his eyes I'm the mean salesgirl who told his Julia Roberts to get the hell out of my store because he was dressed like a fat hooker.

 

Cue sad piano music and call Hector Elizondo.

 

I realize in hindsight that really he was asking me if this dress made him look fat, and that I was supposed to respond with "why NO, it doesn't make you look fat at all honey—and by the way, I'm actually busy next weekend... and the next... and the next" rather that actually take him up on his offer and tell him the truth that I didn't want to meet with him, and free him up to find someone who might actually be a good fit and worth his time and money. I was supposed to realize that being forthright is exactly what he didn't want, even though that's what he was asking for.

 

Escort New Year was yesterday, and I think my new resolution is going to be "go through the motions and take their money. After all, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, and you might as well make $300 if you're going to get bitch-slapped anyway."

 

Escorts—please take this opportunity to learn from my mistake. When someone offers you an "out," it's a trap. Don't fall into it.

[ragazzolupo]

Dear Maxwell. finally, I now understand that I can put on that 150#s that I've wanted and I can still see you — and bitch slap you. Not sure about the size 4 dress.

[jjkrkwood]

This past week has sucked. Period. I've been sick, under pressure at work, and my inbox has been filled to the brim from idiots and players who have contacted me before and apparently forgot I have the ability to look up past emails where they don't understand why I don't leap at the opportunity to give them a twenty-five dollar blow-job.

 

And then, this comes in: an extremely overweight guy who wants to meet next weekend. I have overweight clients all the time—in fact, I just got an email from another past client who is coming to town for almost six months on a work contract, and I can tell you right now we will meet at least once a week for the next six months.

 

But no, this client wants other things that make me uncomfortable about meeting, and then he tops it off with "and I want to play effeminate." Wah-wah—game over. But fortunately he gives me the "out" that if his size is a problem, then no worries.

 

Riiiiiight.

 

So I think about whether or not I can actually make this work rather than give him a knee-jerk reaction. I decide that it's not going to after all—and am about to send him an email saying I'm busy and can't meet when lo and behold—I get another email from him. Again, he states that if his size is a problem, just let him know and he'll look somewhere else and that it's no big deal. By this time it's been just over a day since the original email, and his appointment isn't until this next weekend. So I write back immediately and say: "you know what, I do appreciate your interest in meeting but I don't think it's going to work out." No mention of size (which isn't the problem anyway).

 

Wronnnng.

 

Now I have to deal with his tirade of emails telling me how he missed the "weight limit" in my ad, "how wrongly I've handled this" and "did I think I could talk myself into meeting with him by waiting all this time" and what a shame it is that he's "had to drag honesty out of me" and how I've "wasted so much of his time." I tried the whole "it's not you it's me, and I certainly don't want to waste your time or your money" approach, which apparently made it even worse. In his eyes I'm the mean salesgirl who told his Julia Roberts to get the hell out of my store because he was dressed like a fat hooker.

 

Cue sad piano music and call Hector Elizondo.

 

I realize in hindsight that really he was asking me if this dress made him look fat, and that I was supposed to respond with "why NO, it doesn't make you look fat at all honey—and by the way, I'm actually busy next weekend... and the next... and the next" rather that actually take him up on his offer and tell him the truth that I didn't want to meet with him, and free him up to find someone who might actually be a good fit and worth his time and money. I was supposed to realize that being forthright is exactly what he didn't want, even though that's what he was asking for.

 

Escort New Year was yesterday, and I think my new resolution is going to be "go through the motions and take their money. After all, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, and you might as well make $300 if you're going to get bitch-slapped anyway."

 

Escorts—please take this opportunity to learn from my mistake. When someone offers you an "out," it's a trap. Don't fall into it.

 

Well Max, long time no see, but glad you have resurfaced. Firstly I dont believe you EVER have to compromise yourself and do something you dont want to do, unless of course its a financial "necessity".. I also dont feel you owe anyone a detailed explanation. You are certainly entitled to "turn down" a booking if you want without excuses. And I dont think you should feel guilty about it either. If you ARE inclined to offer an explanation, honesty is always better, and it shoud put an end to your interraction with that individual. If it doesnt, you need to resort to the "BLOCK"....

[rguer]

Did you tell him that it was because of the unspecified "other things" in your first reply?

[maxwellissmart]

Did you tell him that it was because of the unspecified "other things" in your first reply?

 

Yes, after his first email salvo—which alluded that I was being discriminatory because of his weight (which is what he sent me two emails about, saying that if his weight was a problem—no problem), I said that there were some things in the original email that made me think we weren't going to be compatible, that his weight wasn't an issue, and that I didn't want to waste his time or money because it would be unfair to him.

[ErieBear]

I actually had an escort who said that he wasn't interested in me because of my size. While I was disappointed (because he seemed like a good guy and had a great body), I was also thankful for his honestly. And he was much better than the guy who wanted to double his rates because I was fat.

 

Sorry you had a bad experience.

[+ jeezopete]

Maxwell,

One of the perks of being self-employed is that you have the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason, and I don’t think you have to offer an explanation. Your original response, “I don’t think it’s going to work out” should have been sufficient. I would have moved on, but it sounds to me as though this potential client was lashing out at you for his own insecurities. You are better off for declining his business because of your concern than if you had gone through with meeting him. The appointment could have gone poorly and then you might have ended up with a negative review here.

As a client, I can be ever so selective by checking out escorts’ photos, descriptions and reviews. Escorts get so much less information prior to meeting clients, so trusting your instincts seems like an important tool of your trade.

[josephga]

I'm thinking about putting a weight limit on my massage business. In the past I never did. I hated telling anyone no I'd take clients regardless of size and clients refused by others. Last week I had a guy over 380lbs and its not the first time. It's hard giving deep tissue massages to guys that size. I have to make changes leave some services out. The risk of a table breaking or being damaged..

[maxwellissmart]

I'm thinking about putting a weight limit on my massage business. In the past I never did. I hated telling anyone no I'd take clients regardless of size and clients refused by others. Last week I had a guy over 380lbs and its not the first time. It's hard giving deep tissue massages to guys that size. I have to make changes leave some services out. The risk of a table breaking or being damaged..

 

It IS hard doing any kind of body work on someone who is that big and it has a tendency to hurt my hands. But I don't like setting limits based on size, shape, age, race, etc—because I've had some real, genuine fun with guys of all sorts. I WILL set limits on health status and the interaction between me and the client—if they want to do something that I'm not into then I'm not doing it, period. I am not a Swiss Army Knife, and there are some things that are simply not available on the menu. And Mr. Client's over-the-top reaction just confirms to me that I made the right choice.

[rguer]

380 is getting to be not-so-extraordinary. 700 pounds is what ambulances and hospitals are starting to prepare for.

[jjkrkwood]

380 is getting to be not-so-extraordinary. 700 pounds is what ambulances and hospitals are starting to prepare for.

 

I hardly think a 700 lb man would be able to leave his home to engage an escort? However, he could request a house call ?

[maxwellissmart]

I hardly think a 700 lb man would be able to leave his home to engage an escort? However, he could request a house call ?

 

Obviously you've never read "Dune."

[seeker630]

Obviously you've never read "Dune."

 

Baron Harkonnen had the advantage of technology not yet available to us.

[jjkrkwood]

Obviously you've never read "Dune."

 

Is it a pop-up book with pictures ? If not, then I havent .

[maxwellissmart]

Baron Harkonnen had the advantage of technology not yet available to us.

 

Slave boys.

[GuntherCory]

This past week has sucked. Period. I've been sick, under pressure at work, and my inbox has been filled to the brim from idiots and players who have contacted me before and apparently forgot I have the ability to look up past emails where they don't understand why I don't leap at the opportunity to give them a twenty-five dollar blow-job.

 

And then, this comes in: an extremely overweight guy who wants to meet next weekend. I have overweight clients all the time—in fact, I just got an email from another past client who is coming to town for almost six months on a work contract, and I can tell you right now we will meet at least once a week for the next six months.

 

But no, this client wants other things that make me uncomfortable about meeting, and then he tops it off with "and I want to play effeminate." Wah-wah—game over. But fortunately he gives me the "out" that if his size is a problem, then no worries.

 

Riiiiiight.

 

So I think about whether or not I can actually make this work rather than give him a knee-jerk reaction. I decide that it's not going to after all—and am about to send him an email saying I'm busy and can't meet when lo and behold—I get another email from him. Again, he states that if his size is a problem, just let him know and he'll look somewhere else and that it's no big deal. By this time it's been just over a day since the original email, and his appointment isn't until this next weekend. So I write back immediately and say: "you know what, I do appreciate your interest in meeting but I don't think it's going to work out." No mention of size (which isn't the problem anyway).

 

Wronnnng.

 

Now I have to deal with his tirade of emails telling me how he missed the "weight limit" in my ad, "how wrongly I've handled this" and "did I think I could talk myself into meeting with him by waiting all this time" and what a shame it is that he's "had to drag honesty out of me" and how I've "wasted so much of his time." I tried the whole "it's not you it's me, and I certainly don't want to waste your time or your money" approach, which apparently made it even worse. In his eyes I'm the mean salesgirl who told his Julia Roberts to get the hell out of my store because he was dressed like a fat hooker.

 

Cue sad piano music and call Hector Elizondo.

 

I realize in hindsight that really he was asking me if this dress made him look fat, and that I was supposed to respond with "why NO, it doesn't make you look fat at all honey—and by the way, I'm actually busy next weekend... and the next... and the next" rather that actually take him up on his offer and tell him the truth that I didn't want to meet with him, and free him up to find someone who might actually be a good fit and worth his time and money. I was supposed to realize that being forthright is exactly what he didn't want, even though that's what he was asking for.

 

Escort New Year was yesterday, and I think my new resolution is going to be "go through the motions and take their money. After all, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, and you might as well make $300 if you're going to get bitch-slapped anyway."

 

Escorts—please take this opportunity to learn from my mistake. When someone offers you an "out," it's a trap. Don't fall into it.

 

I really hope that the majority of potential clients are not this annoying!

[maxwellissmart]

I really hope that the majority of potential clients are not this annoying!

 

Don't get me wrong, I have empathy for the guy—especially since I've been turned down by clients who set up an appointment and then turned around and hired my escort friend instead. Rejection sucks, but it's inevitable—especially in this business. It is frustrating though, to deal with someone who tells you one thing that you then base a decision upon, which then blows up in your face because he didn't mean it in the first place. In hindsight I would have simply told him I wasn't going to be available.

[GuntherCory]

Don't get me wrong, I have empathy for the guy—especially since I've been turned down by clients who set up an appointment and then turned around and hired my escort friend instead. Rejection sucks, but it's inevitable—especially in this business. It is frustrating though, to deal with someone who tells you one thing that you then base a decision upon, which then blows up in your face because he didn't mean it in the first place. In hindsight I would have simply told him I wasn't going to be available.

 

Rejection can definitely sting, no matter where it comes from. But in this sort of business, I think it's really important for everyone to be honest and upfront about what they want, need, and expect. Potential clients dicking you around is both irritating and pointless. It wastes everyone's time and creates bad feelings, needlessly.

[JoeyBryant]

It is frustrating though, to deal with someone who tells you one thing that you then base a decision upon, which then blows up in your face because he didn't mean it in the first place. In hindsight I would have simply told him I wasn't going to be available.

 

Like the client who had wanted to set up something for us today: we met yesterday for the evening and were supposed to meet again. Now, it was confirmed that I was to be 'host' for a party he was having. He insisted I stay for today and I'd be paid X amount yesterday and then X amount today. Then he says something came up today and tonight 'might' not work. Meanwhile, it was imperative that I knew whether our plans would be on because I'm out of town and didn't have any other clients planned. I could have went home and met a client on the way back who was available today.

 

People wonder why some of us complain sometime, but some of us are more prone to getting tee'd off than others. When I'm 1,000 miles from home and people are giving me the run around when the day prior you discuss on more than 1 occasion the importance of needing firm plans and why...you can't help but want to explode. And sometimes, following your heart and intuition doesn't always give you the answer either.

[maxwellissmart]

Like the client who had wanted to set up something for us today: we met yesterday for the evening and were supposed to meet again. Now, it was confirmed that I was to be 'host' for a party he was having. He insisted I stay for today and I'd be paid X amount yesterday and then X amount today. Then he says something came up today and tonight 'might' not work. Meanwhile, it was imperative that I knew whether our plans would be on because I'm out of town and didn't have any other clients planned. I could have went home and met a client on the way back who was available today.

 

People wonder why some of us complain sometime, but some of us are more prone to getting tee'd off than others. When I'm 1,000 miles from home and people are giving me the run around when the day prior you discuss on more than 1 occasion the importance of needing firm plans and why...you can't help but want to explode. And sometimes, following your heart and intuition doesn't always give you the answer either.

 

Oh, I can see why you'd be upset about that. There's few things that piss me off more than waiting around for someone to make a decision, or basing my plans around a decision that never comes (or you get some bullshit apology the next day or two). I guess the lesson to be learned here is to ask for the money for both days—I would have said: "I'm actually planning to leave because of (insert lie here), but if you'd like me to stay, then I'll need you to go ahead and pay me for it and that way we don't have to worry about settling up later." I usually don't ask for any kind of payment in advance, but if you're "held over" for another night and incurring travel expenses, I certainly would. And as someone posted in a thread a while back: "their word is their bond" or some such—well, that's great until you decide to break your word. When I went home last I had an appointment set up with a client whom I've seen at least 20 times. He canceled on me with less than ten minutes to go before our appointment, and I had planned a lot around him. What really jerked my chain isn't that he canceled, but that I would have never set up the appointment at all had he told me the situation he was dealing with that day—I would have immediately said: "you're trying to schedule too much and I think it's best that we don't bother this time." But he's the type who was going to try to see me come hell or high water—and guess what, hell and high water came (and I did not).