It's allergy/sinus season and I need tips on creating a bullshit sensor...

[JoeyBryant]

"Hey, I just found out my roommmate is home and not at work. That's not good. I guess forget it for now. I will be coming to town next week if you are there. I'm sorry. I need to keep things on the DL around here. I have a girlfriend also. Don't need her finding out. Would prefer not to be around my place".

 

The excuse wasn't the problem. That may have been valid. But this text message is not only after the 'client' initially asked me, "do you ever get out to Vail?" But, all day long we were making arrangements to visit his place today after having kept contact for the last 2 weeks now. I was literally a half hour from his area passing thru and was ready to stop by. All the while he's telling me to text him when I'm near, all for it. Then I get told when I asked for the address, "hangout for a bit. I should be home in a bit, There is nothing in this area. You're only 30 min. from me"

 

I'm just thinking to myself, "I'm too old for this SHIT." 4 years going, I shouldn't be making these rookie mistakes. Afterwards, I should have known when he didn't give me his address earlier this afternoon that he was full of CRAP. Then, last week he says "let me check my schedule" and never got back to me. But I thought it was because I asked for a minimum of 2 hours time to go out that way. But was lenient this go since I was already in the area.

 

So now, I'm just going to carry a little piece of paper in my wallet with a list of red flags that alert me before I step on shit. Obviously I can't doggone remember them sometimes so I'm just going to have to look at it anytime I feel ambivalent to make sure certain behaviors aren't on the list.

 

So, I'll start:

 

1. If they don't give address when you ask for it, they are full of it...

2. If they don't call when you ask them to, they are full of it..

 

...If the list is good enough, I may even get a tattoo of it across my body.

 

http://brothertattoo.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Tattoos-With-Sayings.jpg

[SteveEscort]

So, I'll start:

1. If they don't give address when you ask for it, they are full of it...

2. If they don't call when you ask them to, they are full of it..

 

Yep, I agree with the first one. I usually just terminate the call when they start the "can we meet at a car park first and then you can follow in the car to mine". I instinctively know that they are messing me about.

 

The only guys I meet outdoors like that are truckers (I have a real fetish for them) and regulars who fancy a bit of outdoor summer fun. Other than that I am not leaving myself open to being attacked by dickheads in a public car park. I will not meet a trucker without knowing his licence plate details and who he is carrying for, including the phone number or logo on the side of the truck !!

 

I realise they have a need for discretion but I can't get my head around why they need to be so anonymous. I am not going to write a best seller tomorrow and expose their lives FFS

 

The second point, yes to a certain degree but we forget a lot of the time that the guys who can afford our prices are usually at work and they get tied up with things. That 1 hour meeting could become 3 hours and they may not be allowed to leave the boardroom to ring us on time. I give allowance for that and so understand when that happens. Sometimes though, they just piss about and when they do they get stored in my phone with the letter W in front of their name so I know not to pick up their call next time. W stands for Wanker and I have dozens of them stored. They can waste my time once but they won't do it a second time.

 

I will also say "Ok Brian, give me a call around 10am on Monday to confirm". If he hasn't phoned by 10am I will send a discreet text with something like "Hi it's Steve, is everything ok". if I don't get a reply then I reserve the right to reschedule someone else, should they ring. If he's delayed then so be it and I can see him later, if I get no response he's stored as "V Doesn't Confirm". I will give him a second chance and if he does it a second time the V becomes a W

[JoeyBryant]

The only guys I meet outdoors like that are truckers (I have a real fetish for them) and regulars who fancy a bit of outdoor summer fun. Other than that I am not leaving myself open to being attacked by dickheads in a public car park. I will not meet a trucker without knowing his licence plate details and who he is carrying for, including the phone number or logo on the side of the truck !!

 

So, would you care to elaborate on the trucker situation? In the U.S., truckers get bad raps (and those that see them). Are you referring meeting them at truck stops or?? I've met truckers before though, but I've always told them they have to book a hotel and I won't meet them at Pilot or T/A. I did once go to an RV park outside of town, but that thing was more like a Ritz Carlton on wheels.

 

Oh...and get this, if things COULDN'T get any crazier: A guy who has been pestering me all week long, only 22 years old wanted to book an appointment with me for Friday. Now, I was adamant that under no circumstances did I want to return home from my trip 1 day early if he wasn't going to book. I even made him give me a deposit because I told him, "guys your age are full of shit, and I don't want to waste my time". He declared his honesty and intentions fervently.

 

Even after the deposit, he still ended up flaking out. So now, my new rule is if they are under say about 25...don't book em. Curse them out for even calling in the first place, and just hang up.

 

On the flip side, a guy only 22 years old called me the other day and I met him, but he was another escort. But he didn't tell me at first, and I told him to be real, don't be sneaky and lie about shit just to get what you want because I'm going to find out. Just be upfront from the get go because if I find out things I don't want to find out, I'm going to have to whip some ass..

[maxwellissmart]

So, would you care to elaborate on the trucker situation? In the U.S., truckers get bad raps (and those that see them). Are you referring meeting them at truck stops or?? I've met truckers before though, but I've always told them they have to book a hotel and I won't meet them at Pilot or T/A. I did once go to an RV park outside of town, but that thing was more like a Ritz Carlton on wheels.

 

Oh...and get this, if things COULDN'T get any crazier: A guy who has been pestering me all week long, only 22 years old wanted to book an appointment with me for Friday. Now, I was adamant that under no circumstances did I want to return home from my trip 1 day early if he wasn't going to book. I even made him give me a deposit because I told him, "guys your age are full of shit, and I don't want to waste my time". He declared his honesty and intentions fervently.

 

Even after the deposit, he still ended up flaking out. So now, my new rule is if they are under say about 25...don't book em. Curse them out for even calling in the first place, and just hang up.

 

On the flip side, a guy only 22 years old called me the other day and I met him, but he was another escort. But he didn't tell me at first, and I told him to be real, don't be sneaky and lie about shit just to get what you want because I'm going to find out. Just be upfront from the get go because if I find out things I don't want to find out, I'm going to have to whip some ass..

 

Steve ALWAYS gets the hot-scene clients. Lucky fucker. I would die to fuck a client on a park picnic table and have suggested as much to some regulars—but so far, no dice.

 

As for the youngins, I can count on one hand how many of mine have panned out without something being wrong with them. The last was a couple of weeks ago and started texting his BF as I was eating his ass. He cut short the appointment and left because the BF wanted him to send photo proof of where he said he was. Another one passed out on my living room floor, one gave me half my fee disguised as low bills, one bitched about my technique the entire time we were going at it (I wanted to slap him so fucking bad), and so on. As I type this I'm trying hard to remember if any weren't fucked up—even the dentist I regularly fucked 10-15 times starting drunk-dialing me and getting abusive on the phone, thinking I was someone else. That one was sad—until then he was one of my favorite clients because he was awesome in the sack.

 

I've just gotten to where I take all young client-wannabes with a big grain of salt and assume they won't pan out. I mean, this guy from the other thread who has contacted me a gajillion times could be real—but I'm not sneaking in someone's window or acting as their personal taxi. I told Awesome Black Client about that and he just laughed and laughed.

[KMEM]

SteveEscort-

 

A double V is a W, isn't it? Wankers are every where.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Guest JackF]

I've only met one guy close to my age a couple of years ago, and he was younger than I. He was African American, had a huge dick and was a twink. He loved me cause I was a muscle guy for his fantasy. We got together twice on two different occasions but he could never perform once we were together, I guess he was super nervous or something, or so he claimed. He never once shorted me and was always very nice to me, even asking about my school/future career, etc.

 

Otherwise, I've had a couple of what I'd describe as prank calls from young people, but nothing ever panned out.

[josephga]

I get a few young guys a year for massage but not many. most buy the 60.00 therapeutic only session due to lack of funds. I actually believe that some guys have seen me on the massage sites then see me on something like grindr then pretend to be interested in me just to get a free massage. I no longer list massage as my job on sites like match com

I say I work in physical therapy. If someone comes here after a date I'm hiding everything. Until I know them better

[maxwellissmart]

I get a few young guys a year for massage but not many. most buy the 60.00 therapeutic only session due to lack of funds. I actually believe that some guys have seen me on the massage sites then see me on something like grindr then pretend to be interested in me just to get a free massage. I no longer list massage as my job on sites like match com

I say I work in physical therapy. If someone comes here after a date I'm hiding everything. Until I know them better

 

Fair enough, but I had this one guy I talked to on Manhunt who listed massage as a profession. He had some nice (but he wasn't a god, by any means) pics and said some blah blah in his profile about swapping massages. I sent him an email telling him I thought he was nice-looking and wouldn't mind taking him up on the massage part sometime. His response: "Well is it any good? I'm a professional you know." I responded with "I know my way around a massage table, I don't think you'd be disappointed." He wrote back: "Are you certified? Because I'm not looking to waste my time with someone who doesn't know what they're doing." "I didn't realize you were only looking for a professional masseur. That kind of limits your audience on Manhunt, and perhaps you should put that in your profile so amateurs like me don't take up your time."

 

Then I unlocked my private pics which have face, body and dick shots. And I deleted the next 7 emails unread, all of which were from him.

[josephga]

Fair enough, but I had this one guy I talked to on Manhunt who listed massage as a profession. He had some nice (but he wasn't a god, by any means) pics and said some blah blah in his profile about swapping massages. I sent him an email telling him I thought he was nice-looking and wouldn't mind taking him up on the massage part sometime. His response: "Well is it any good? I'm a professional you know." I responded with "I know my way around a massage table, I don't think you'd be disappointed." He wrote back: "Are you certified? Because I'm not looking to waste my time with someone who doesn't know what they're doing." "I didn't realize you were only looking for a professional masseur. That kind of limits your audience on Manhunt, and perhaps you should put that in your profile so amateurs like me don't take up your time."

 

Then I unlocked my private pics which have face, body and dick shots. And I deleted the next 7 emails unread, all of which were from him.

 

 

I normally listed massage only under occupation on match com and okcupid. On sites like grindr or manhunt i never mentioned massage. i think they see my massagem4m ads. one guy messaged me once last year on manhunt asking about free massage. nowhere in profile was any mention of massage and id never had a convo with him b4. he had to have seen the massagem4m ad. samething last month a guy asked if i do massage swap on scruff no where in my profile was any mention of massage.

[maxwellissmart]

I normally listed massage only under occupation on match com and okcupid. On sites like grindr or manhunt i never mentioned massage. i think they see my massagem4m ads. one guy messaged me once last year on manhunt asking about free massage. nowhere in profile was any mention of massage and id never had a convo with him b4. he had to have seen the massagem4m ad. samething last month a guy asked if i do massage swap on scruff no where in my profile was any mention of massage.

 

I never use escort pics in Manhunt ads for that reason. I've had people approach me about escorting on Manhunt, but they were amateurs and looking for a $25 bj or a handjob and treating that like it was some kind of huge, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I told this one guy "hold on while I go check to see what escorts charge," and he replied with "but you're not a real escort," and I replied back, "dude, if I have sex with you and get paid for it, I'm as real as any escort out there. I don't think it requires a diploma or a certification."

 

I always like the justification of "I don't normally pay for sex and can get it anytime I like..."

 

Umm, why are you offering me money then? Good luck on your search!

[JoeyBryant]

Then I unlocked my private pics which have face, body and dick shots. And I deleted the next 7 emails unread, all of which were from him.

 

That guy sounded like a pretentious fuck. That's why I don't deal with too many (or any for that matter) other providers. I had a similar situation: a guy who was actually pretty hot. He wanted me to pay him for a massage aka "let's hookup, but pay me for a massage so I can make money too". Yet 1 night after the club, he was open to play without massage being up and invited me back to his place. I declined. I'm like, don't hit me up at the last minute when all this other time you didn't want to be bothered unless I was talking about paying. Who the hell did he think i was? We're in the same line of work! Don't run that game on me because I'll regurgitate it.

 

I never use escort pics in Manhunt ads for that reason. I've had people approach me about escorting on Manhunt, but they were amateurs and looking for a $25 bj or a handjob and treating that like it was some kind of huge, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I told this one guy "hold on while I go check to see what escorts charge," and he replied with "but you're not a real escort," and I replied back, "dude, if I have sex with you and get paid for it, I'm as real as any escort out there. I don't think it requires a diploma or a certification."

 

I always like the justification of "I don't normally pay for sex and can get it anytime I like..."

 

Umm, why are you offering me money then? Good luck on your search!

 

well, the thing is that a lot of those sites that aren't dedicated to escort...and I'm not even talking adam4adam because atleast they have a section for it. But they want to pay someone for 'gas' or 'school book money'. God forbid it be sex they are paying for because they can get it whenever.

 

One time, some guy who I thought was kinda attractive for his age offered me $10 in the form of a check for gas (once in a blue I may play the broke college kid role just to have some spending bucks in case I overspend on Friday/Saturday night) . He was dead ass serious. I told him, I would rather meet you for free than to even accept such pity money. I'd feel more dignified to just call it meeting up rather than I got $10 for an hour.

[+ Shoreboy]

Joey, I am a nice guy and rarely criticize anyone....but I have to be honest and say that whenever I see a posting from you it is going to be something you complain about.

 

Are you unhappy being an escort?

 

Please this is sincere and not trying to be a put down of you.

 

I may be dated myself when I say "peace out" Joey

[JoeyBryant]

Joey, I am a nice guy and rarely criticize anyone....but I have to be honest and say that whenever I see a posting from you it is going to be something you complain about.

 

Are you unhappy being an escort?

 

Please this is sincere and not trying to be a put down of you.

 

I may be dated myself when I say "peace out" Joey

 

I like being an escort. After all this time, you'd think I derive some pleasure from it, no? After all, I was hoping this post wasn't taken too terribly seriously.

 

What I'm mentioning in this thread has nothing to do with escorting. Escorting is when I get paid for the service I provide. When people dwell on drama (Hey dude, I have to cancel I have a girlfriend and have to be discreet. Even though I been chatting with you for 2 weeks and set up an appointment today and told you I'll be on my way home) even after I stop for 20 minutes waiting at a coffee shop for him to get home...that's not escorting. That's bullshit and I don't have patience for it. When people stop bullshitting us, that's when the complaints will cease. It's one thing to cancel an appointment or have something come up. But the blatant bullshit: e.g. having a 22 year old client give me a deposit in person for a meeting 2 days later and then not show up, and a client texting me for 2 weeks asking me when I can come to him some 90 miles away and then tell me about how he has a roommmate and girlfriend is not stuff I like to bottle up inside of me. I rather put it out in the open so on the off chance someone of that nature is reading this, they'll think, "wow, I'm really a dick. I shouldn't do that to escorts".

 

Escorting is meeting a client that follows thru on his word, we have a great time and I get paid for the great time. Dinner may follow or precede it. Our time is made enjoyable. What is there not to like about that?

 

I'm sorry that my posts tend be complaints. But maybe someone somewhere will learn something from it and not do things to make me or other escorts complain whether it be online or in real life.

 

If you want to hear all the gushy fluffy things about escorting, hire me and be on my email list (which on the contrary isn't really a list, but rather clients whom I don't mind chatting with occasionally even if it isn't a hire).

[tom1980]

I've commented on Joey's negativity before, but I actually like his response here. It doesn't bother me to hear complaints because I do like to hear the escort's perspective and understand their interactions with clients and potential clients. What has bothered me in the past about some of Joey's posts was the whiny tone, but I didn't get that from this thread. The whining usually creeps in when Joey talks about his personal life. I generally find his posts about the hazards of escorting to be interesting (though often a little long). But if a post is too long or uninteresting (and this applies to posts by anyone), I skip the part I haven't read and move on.

[+ Shoreboy]

Joey

 

There are pros and cons in every profession but specifically in this area, and as a client, I too could give a laundry list of many negative things.

 

#1. An escort that canceled out on me at the last minute since he found someone who woud hire him longer than my one hour time period...and the cancelation happened 30 minutes before our scheduled meeting. I had one very well known escort who emailed me before our appointment who lied to me and said he had to fly back to his home state for an emergency only to find out that he was still in my area and had double-booked. It would have fared better with him to be honest with me rather than me finding out that he had lied to me.

 

#2. Escorts who arrive very, very late with no apologies or excuses and no call saying they are running late.

 

#3. Escorts who use either false pictures or very outdated pictures.

 

#4. Escorts who simply forgot about our appointment and after numerous calls and emails finally get back to me the next day and ask if they can reschedule.

 

#5. Escorts who arrive for our appointment and ask what we want to do after I have sent them a very detailed email about our encounter.

 

#6. Escorts who are not clean when they arrive for an appointment and I have to pay for their shower time.

 

#7. Escorts who use my time with them to answer their phone and sometimes in the heat of the moment!

 

I could go on and on...but I think I have made my point.

 

I am sure you have had clients that are shits as I have had escorts that are shits....

 

Will I keep hirning, to quote Sarah Palin from the movie "Game Change" "you betcha" because the negative escorts are not the norm and my reviews show that there are many great guys out there that I have enjoyed tremendously.

 

In all areas of work there are shit and there are stars.....I try to overlook the shits and shoot for the stars.

[jjkrkwood]

Joey

 

There are pros and cons in every profession but specifically in this area, and as a client, I too could give a laundry list of many negative things.

 

#1. An escort that canceled out on me at the last minute since he found someone who woud hire him longer than my one hour time period...and the cancelation happened 30 minutes before our scheduled meeting. I had one very well known escort who emailed me before our appointment who lied to me and said he had to fly back to his home state for an emergency only to find out that he was still in my area and had double-booked. It would have fared better with him to be honest with me rather than me finding out that he had lied to me.

 

#2. Escorts who arrive very, very late with no apologies or excuses and no call saying they are running late.

 

#3. Escorts who use either false pictures or very outdated pictures.

 

#4. Escorts who simply forgot about our appointment and after numerous calls and emails finally get back to me the next day and ask if they can reschedule.

 

#5. Escorts who arrive for our appointment and ask what we want to do after I have sent them a very detailed email about our encounter.

 

#6. Escorts who are not clean when they arrive for an appointment and I have to pay for their shower time.

 

#7. Escorts who use my time with them to answer their phone and sometimes in the heat of the moment!

 

I could go on and on...but I think I have made my point.

 

I am sure you have had clients that are shits as I have had escorts that are shits....

 

Will I keep hirning, to quote Sarah Palin from the movie "Game Change" "you betcha" because the negative escorts are not the norm and my reviews show that there are many great guys out there that I have enjoyed tremendously.

 

In all areas of work there are shit and there are stars.....I try to overlook the shits and shoot for the stars.

 

 

All points well said and taken. Whats significant to realize is that some people were BORN to be "complainers". Its their makeup and their nature, so even something positive will be perceived as a negative. However, IF you are a "businessman", I think the "less is more" approach is better. Showing too much of yourself in a negative light can only impact your business. Personally, i dont want to be with an escort that brings a truckload of "baggage" to the table.