Why Do Some Men Want Escorts As Friends

[SteveEscort]

yup currently I have no friends here. I mostly just work and keep too myself. Todays my birthday and even spending that alone.

 

Aww Happy Birthday

 

http://www.zwani.com/graphics/happy_birthday/images/15.gif

[josephga]

thanks

[cany10011]

Most of the guys I see have very similar interests in music and food. Once in a while, I'll invite them to something that I know they would particularly enjoy. I've always tried to treat them fairly and civilly and despite not having talk about payment before hand (not wise, i know), I always give them 200 to 300 for their time in coming out with me to the opera or restaurant to allow them to recognize that I'm not under the pretense that it is a "date".

 

On all the occasions, the escort would hand me back the money and say that the treat of the opera or fancy restaurant was pleasant enough and that money was not necessary on that occasion or future instances. Shocking, but true. I guess i give them enough business weekly to warrant the largesse for their non-sexual time??

 

 

I seen a guy yesterday for an outdoor appointment, I picked him up at a metro station (we have what you all call an underground subway system in Newcastle) and we went off and had some fun in a discreet wooded area to fulfill his fantasy.

 

He came, I came and we both had a fab time, there were dog walkers about and it added to the excitement.

 

Last night I received about 20 texts off him after the appointment asking if we could go for a beer one night, then telling me how his arse was tingling and needing my rugby player cock (that was the role play in the woods). This morning another text "Morning handsome".

 

I like my clients but I don't really want to be "friends" with them as much as they have their own lives and most don't want to be "friends" with me

 

I had problems once before with a university lecturer who fell for my charms and wanted to go for pizza and offered to take me to Cambridge when he was invited to Cambridge University for a lecture, he didn't want to pay for my time for sex he just wanted a travel companion and good conversation. How do you say no without offending these people because in the current economic climate none of us can afford to lose a regular.

[SteveEscort]

Most of the guys I see have very similar interests in music and food. Once in a while, I'll invite them to something that I know they would particularly enjoy.

 

Oh that's really nice

[maxwellissmart]

On all the occasions, the escort would hand me back the money and say that the treat of the opera or fancy restaurant was pleasant enough and that money was not necessary on that occasion or future instances. Shocking, but true. I guess i give them enough business weekly to warrant the largesse for their non-sexual time??

 

I've done that. If someone I enjoy seeing offered to take me to a show to something I wouldn't normally have access to, I would gladly go and not expect payment. In fact, I'd probably make them do something naughty in the men's room if we could get away with it.

[cany10011]

No, unfortunately, getting caught with my pants down in the men's bathroom at the Met is not something I can take a chance with!!!! Though something naughty in the parterre section where there might be more privacy would be something i would definitely consider One of my friends actually got a handjob under a jacket during La Fille du Regiment.... i'd be too messy to enjoy the rest of the opera if that occurred and my pants would probably be too tight to allow any sort of frottage to happen:(

 

I've done that. If someone I enjoy seeing offered to take me to a show to something I wouldn't normally have access to, I would gladly go and not expect payment. In fact, I'd probably make them do something naughty in the men's room if we could get away with it.

[maxwellissmart]

No, unfortunately, getting caught with my pants down in the men's bathroom at the Met is not something I can take a chance with!!!! Though something naughty in the parterre section where there might be more privacy would be something i would definitely consider One of my friends actually got a handjob under a jacket during La Fille du Regiment.... i'd be too messy to enjoy the rest of the opera if that occurred and my pants would probably be too tight to allow any sort of frottage to happen:(

 

A nice bj in the car before the show might be nice.

[cany10011]

Maxwell, you say the most romantic things....lol!

 

A nice bj in the car before the show might be nice.

[leigh.bess.toad]

In fact, I'd probably make them do something naughty in the men's room if we could get away with it.

 

You could do it at Annie's on Monday (of course it wouldn't even be the first time that's happened at a DC lunch ). But I wouldn't try it at Secrets/Ziegfelds.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Todays my birthday and even spending that alone.

 

Happy Birthday Joseph. I am really sorry. I did have your name on my master birthday list. But that list was lost in my computer hard drive crash a few weeks ago. And I haven't had a chance to rebuild the list yet.

 

I hope you have a great one.

[maxwellissmart]

But I wouldn't try it at Secrets/Ziegfelds.

 

Well that's all the more reason to try!

[gallahadesquire]

yup currently I have no friends here. I mostly just work and keep too myself. Todays my birthday and even spending that alone.

 

I am sorry that you are celebrating alone! Happy Birthday, anyway!

[Bosguy]

yup currently I have no friends here. I mostly just work and keep too myself. Todays my birthday and even spending that alone.

 

Enjoy your time. I spent the "holidays" alone last month for the first time in 60+ years and , although people did not understand my position, they were the best holidays I ever spent. Wonderful memories and hopes for the future. Enjoy yourself on this special day.

 

Boston Bill

[gcursor]

I agree

 

I agree with Leigh and others on this. You should tell the truth. I think telling the truth (no matter what it is) speaks volumes about a person. Admittedly they might not want to hear it but then they aren't left hanging trying to figure out what you "REALLY" meant to say.

Gcrusor

 

Steve -- I'm with maxwell on this. You shouldn't feel awful. If you aren't interested, say so. I realize some guys might go off the deep end, but the truth, in the end, is easier and quicker.

[MiamiLooker]

"Why Do Some Men Want Escorts As Friends?"

 

Surely you've read enough client posts on this site to understand this. Many "want to get to know" the escort. From there, it's a very short leap to make fantasy a reality at any cost. It reminds me of high school. Who doesn't want to be bestest friends with the cool guys?

[josephga]

Enjoy your time. I spent the "holidays" alone last month for the first time in 60+ years and , although people did not understand my position, they were the best holidays I ever spent. Wonderful memories and hopes for the future. Enjoy yourself on this special day.

 

Boston Bill

 

I spent the holidays alone too didn't really bother me much

[+ Charlie]

If there's one thing this thread demonstrates clearly, it's that all clients and all escorts are definitely not alike. The problems arise when an escort who is strictly business meets a client who is looking for friendship as much as sex (or, more rarely, the roles are reversed). Because the escort is selling something, however, he may be tempted to give signals that he wants the same kind of relationship as the client, but ultimately the client will feel cheated, and the escort may feel guilty. It's best when both parties know what they want, communicate it clearly, and accept their differences.

 

Of course, we all misread signals at times. Although I am a fairly friendly person, I generally hire strictly for sex, and expect the end of the appt. to be the end, period. I hired one escort from an agency, who mistook our pleasant encounter to be an invitation to further social contact, and I had to be rather curt with him. On the other hand, I hired another escort from the same agency, and we seemed to hit it off so well in conversation that we never got around to having sex (I paid for the appt., naturally). When I ran into him on the street a few days later, I approached him as a friend, and got a completely cold shoulder: my mistake.

[instudiocity]

I seen a guy yesterday for an outdoor appointment, I picked him up at a metro station (we have what you all call an underground subway system in Newcastle) and we went off and had some fun in a discreet wooded area to fulfill his fantasy.

 

He came, I came and we both had a fab time, there were dog walkers about and it added to the excitement.

 

Last night I received about 20 texts off him after the appointment asking if we could go for a beer one night, then telling me how his arse was tingling and needing my rugby player cock (that was the role play in the woods). This morning another text "Morning handsome".

 

I like my clients but I don't really want to be "friends" with them as much as they have their own lives and most don't want to be "friends" with me.

That's more like STALKING to me. I want to be friends with the men I patronize, but there are limits. One of my regulars likes wine and texts me when he's in the wine store - that's cool. I text him when I'm horny and we get together, but 20 texts in one evening - hell no!

 

As the client, I want discretion, but I don't mind a continuing conversation via phone, email or text, but I've got my life and my escort has his life. We can share some communication, but 20 texts in one night, and more the next day - NO - that's not discretion!

[SteveEscort]

, but 20 texts in one night, and more the next day - NO - that's not discretion!

 

Thankfully the text yesterday morning was the last communication from him, I've not heard anything since

[RockHard]

Friend or fuck? Feel or don't feel?

 

If there's one thing this thread demonstrates clearly, it's that all clients and all escorts are definitely not alike.

 

I agree.

 

None of the guys I know who hire are lonely or feel deprived. We just don't have the time or the desire for small talk. We really dislike bars and clubs as a pick-up device. All we want is some sexual fun on the side of a busy life. Bathhouses in NYC are awful, and most of us prefer to be more discreet. And if you're in the mood for a particular type of guy, escorting is the easiest "no strings" way to find him. IMO, paying for sex is like paying for a massage, a haircut, the trainer, or a visit to the dermatologist. I make an appointment when I feel I need the service.

 

Personally, I love the friends I have. It takes time to keep those relationships strong and thriving, which leaves little time to let others in. I have my escort favorites, and they've become favorites because a connection exists. I could encourage a social friendship to form, but I don't. I'm a mature adult, and I prefer to keep these relationships professional.

 

(I love my doctor. He reveals his personality to me, and we have a fun time together in his office. He's been in my life for many years. There have been three occasions when we were in Europe at the same time. I invited he and his wife to dinner each time. He accepts my invite graciously, but he never calls to say let's do it. I completely respect his boundaries. And if the occasion arises again, I'll offer another invite. I just don't turn it into a big deal.)

 

On occasion, an escort will give me a freebie, especially if the appointment included a worthwhile treat. Freebies are always appreciated. Some men love to give gifts and, by graciously accepting, I show my love. I always find a way to reciprocate. For me, gift giving has to be a two-way street. I love generous men. They're the sexiest men on the planet. Many escorts are too self-absorbed, too attached to their dollars, to realize the seductive power of generosity.

 

For the most part, I have to let them in the door a little, because that's a key factor that allows me to enjoy what I'm doing.

 

I respect that. I try to be acutely aware of my escort's needs, even though I'm the paying customer. After all, our encounter is intimate, and I want my escort to enjoy his time with me. If he has fun, chances are I will, too.

 

I'm a good listener. Escorts (massage therapists, hairdressers, manicurists, secretaries) tend to tell me things. I don't share the need to chat, but I'm happy to engage. I'm careful not to reveal certain truths. I never use my birth name or discuss my career using details. When an escort asks me what kind of work I do, I have a prepared line that I've used for years. It provides just enough information to explain the clothing I wear to an appointment, but it also says, please respect my privacy.

 

I like my clients but I don't really want to be "friends" with them...How do you say no without offending these people

 

You choose your words with great care, using a refined sensitivity (is that possible for a rugby player cock?). I always recommend honesty, but a lot of people don't know how to be honest and not offend. Or they don't know how to deal with someone who gets defensive and exhibits baggage steeped in insecurity. Put yourself in their shoes and try a practice run.

 

There is no perfect script. Each situation is unique. If I received 20 messages, requesting a beer date, I'd probably write: "I really enjoyed my time with you. You're a sexy guy who knows how to have fun. By all means, I look forward to booking another appointment for you, and I'm happy to include a beer date into that time. Just let me know when, where, and what time, and I'll get back to you with a special rate and a confirmation. Thank you."

 

If you build someone up with sincere compliments, your words will never offend. But the compliments must be sincere. There is always a professional way to gently remind a deluded client that you provide escort services without making the client feel like an unwanted idiot for suggesting you "hang" together.

 

For many guys who hire, escorting is not just about sex. Some men ARE lonely. Some men DO feel deprived. If you're a smart businessman, you can put your nurse cap on and figure out a way to provide expanded service without giving your time away.

 

Bringing joy into someone's life is a noble career choice.

[maxwellissmart]

 

There is no perfect script. Each situation is unique. If I received 20 messages, requesting a beer date, I'd probably write: "I really enjoyed my time with you. You're a sexy guy who knows how to have fun. By all means, I look forward to booking another appointment for you, and I'm happy to include a beer date into that time. Just let me know when, where, and what time, and I'll get back to you with a special rate and a confirmation. Thank you."

 

 

I've actually used this technique before—translating a non-escort request into escort terms. It worked.

[RockHard]

You sweet thing.

 

I've actually used this technique before...It worked.

 

Some clients want to test the escort, especially if he senses the escort had a good time and there might be chance for a free date in the future. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but it's up to the escort to handle that situation with aplomb and not lose a customer.

 

99.9% of customers will appreciate "sweet" honesty. Sugar-coated truth is a great way to protect your business interests.

[maxwellissmart]

Some clients want to test the escort, especially if he senses the escort had a good time and there might be chance for a free date in the future. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but it's up to the escort to handle that situation with aplomb and not lose a customer.

 

99.9% of customers will appreciate "sweet" honesty. Sugar-coated truth is a great way to protect your business interests.

 

I've always said that you have to spend money to make money. Granted, I'm not trying to turn a maximum profit with every single encounter, and I've found a looser and more relaxed approach to escorting rather than being super-businessy has gotten me far. I've also made mistakes with this—and had some other escorts point out ways that I could manage to conduct business and still be me.