Why Do Some Men Want Escorts As Friends

[SteveEscort]

I seen a guy yesterday for an outdoor appointment, I picked him up at a metro station (we have what you all call an underground subway system in Newcastle) and we went off and had some fun in a discreet wooded area to fulfill his fantasy.

 

He came, I came and we both had a fab time, there were dog walkers about and it added to the excitement.

 

Last night I received about 20 texts off him after the appointment asking if we could go for a beer one night, then telling me how his arse was tingling and needing my rugby player cock (that was the role play in the woods). This morning another text "Morning handsome".

 

I like my clients but I don't really want to be "friends" with them as much as they have their own lives and most don't want to be "friends" with me

 

I had problems once before with a university lecturer who fell for my charms and wanted to go for pizza and offered to take me to Cambridge when he was invited to Cambridge University for a lecture, he didn't want to pay for my time for sex he just wanted a travel companion and good conversation. How do you say no without offending these people because in the current economic climate none of us can afford to lose a regular.

[robberbaron4u]

At last, a practical man who understands that "escorting" is a business, a vocation not an avocation. Please see my advertisement, titled "Lads, I am available" in this forum: if you are 5'9" in height, easy on the eye, and mature, that is thirty years of age, more or less, "come to daddy". London is so dismal in the winter season. . .

[SteveEscort]

At last, a practical man who understands that "escorting" is a business, a vocation not an avocation. Please see my advertisement, titled "Lads, I am available" in this forum: if you are 5'9" in height, easy on the eye, and mature, that is thirty years of age, more or less, "come to daddy". London is so dismal in the winter season. . .

 

I did see it yes, but I didn't comment because I seen a few people taking the piss out of it a little. Well I am 6ft and stocky, plus I am nearer 40 than 30 hahahahaha, I do appointments in London with genuine clients so I don't think I am what you are looking for but you never know.

[maxwellissmart]

I seen a guy yesterday for an outdoor appointment, I picked him up at a metro station (we have what you all call an underground subway system in Newcastle) and we went off and had some fun in a discreet wooded area to fulfill his fantasy.

 

He came, I came and we both had a fab time, there were dog walkers about and it added to the excitement.

 

Last night I received about 20 texts off him after the appointment asking if we could go for a beer one night, then telling me how his arse was tingling and needing my rugby player cock (that was the role play in the woods). This morning another text "Morning handsome".

 

I like my clients but I don't really want to be "friends" with them as much as they have their own lives and most don't want to be "friends" with me

 

I had problems once before with a university lecturer who fell for my charms and wanted to go for pizza and offered to take me to Cambridge when he was invited to Cambridge University for a lecture, he didn't want to pay for my time for sex he just wanted a travel companion and good conversation. How do you say no without offending these people because in the current economic climate none of us can afford to lose a regular.

 

Because some men (well, lots actually) are lonely or deprived. They set up an appointment with you, you hit it off and push the buttons they like to be pushed and maybe even have a genuinely good time, and they forget that the reason why you're there is written in pounds or euros. I've made friends with clients, and I've bought gifts for and spent free time with clients. The number of clients is extremely limited, they were very special people, and I was the one who initiated the secondary contact. In one case it worked and continues to work to this day. In another, it failed spectacularly, and I had to do some major (actually MAJOR) damage control and make permanent changes to my life as a result.

 

You may be the type who remains perpetually business and detached from clients. For the most part, I have to let them in the door a little, because that's a key factor that allows me to enjoy what I'm doing. I tend to get kinda hateful and cold with clients who are kept at arm's length, because I don't like them for whatever reason and I'm only doing it for the money. I also tend not to like clients who do the same with me—I find it annoying when someone won't tell me even the most basic details of their life.

 

Clients ask me all the time what my motivations for escorting are. Meeting people really is a major one.

[josephga]

I have no desire to be friends with any of my massage clients either it's a business. I had a client once around 2007 drove from Chattanooga to Atlanta just for a massage. After it was over a few hours later I received a voice mail from him asking me if I was in the market for a bf or dating? I called him back and told him no that Never saw the clients outside of the business. Only use I have for my clients is just that a client and the only interest the majority of them have in me is their massage therapist and I like keeping it that way..

[SteveEscort]

I tend to get kinda hateful and cold with clients who are kept at arm's length, because I don't like them for whatever reason and I'm only doing it for the money. I also tend not to like clients who do the same with me—I find it annoying when someone won't tell me even the most basic details of their life.

 

Clients ask me all the time what my motivations for escorting are. Meeting people really is a major one.

 

To be perfectly honest, even the basic details of their life is none of your business. I would never ask any of my clients any personal details. I know that many of them don't even use their real name, especially when one guy who lives in the same suburb as me is called a completely different name by his friends than he gives me. I've overheard it many times when I have seen him out and about.

 

I do tell clients personal stuff about me, some know what my part time career is and I've even done work for one client. I am not cold with them but when I close the door at night I get "me" back and not "Steve". We're two different people.

 

I meet up with a female escort a couple of times a week as "me" and not Steve and she does the same and we have conversations about cock, guys, appointments, problem clients but we also talk about tv, cinema and music. I honestly wouldn't know what to talk about during an "off the clock" appointment because our only thing in common is sex

[maxwellissmart]

To be perfectly honest, even the basic details of their life is none of your business. I would never ask any of my clients any personal details.

 

By "personal details" I mean small-talk, like: "what are you doing in town," or "do you like it here," or "what do you do for fun." I never ask stuff like: "where do you work" or anything whatsoever about their family situation. I do have clients who say less than 5 words during the whole session. I personally don't like that.

 

As far as the "cold and at arm's length part," we've all had clients who pester the fuck out of us to get another appointment—they are usually weird, or unpleasant or whiny/needy, etc. I have had clients like this, and I've actually been actively unfriendly to them in the passive-aggressive attempt to get them to come to the conclusion that the appointment isn't worth the $250/hr (my unpleasant client rate), but they keep comin' back.

[Bosguy]

There is a big difference between being FRIENDLY and being FRIENDS!!!

 

Boston Bill

[SteveEscort]

"Hi xx, thanks for inviting me. However, in the current economic situation I need to give priority to the professional requests that bring in the nickles and dimes."

 

Oh I've tried going along that line before. I am a very assertive, sure of my self person but when it comes to turning down social requests from clients I just can't be rude or even subtly rude

[Epigonos]

This topic, in different forms, as been addressed numerous times. Some escorts are willing to develop friendships with "long time" clients some are not -- fine. Some clients want to develop friendships with escorts some do not -- fine. Some escorts see "long time" clients off the clock some do not -- fine. In the end it is simply a matter of what works for both.

 

I go to the same coffee shop every morning. There I have met a number of people, who over time, have become friends. My observation is that the same thing can and on occasion does happen, over time, in the client escort relationship -- fine

[jjkrkwood]

I feel a big part of Hiring is the "Fantasy" aspect of it. I dont want to know about your life, and dont want you to know about my REAL one either.

Basically its 2 people role-playing. If the role is "being friends" and its on the clock, then everyone comes out ahead. Unless the escort chooses to be-friend YOU, and makes the first overture as such, forget about it. Just stick to your "role"...as paying client....

 

I am in total agreement with Boston Bill, dont mis-interpret "Friendly"...

[leigh.bess.toad]

I'm sure I may be the odd-duck here. I certainly didn't start out to become friends with my escorts. As Bosguy said, friendly yes, friends no. But somehow it has happened. I would say that I'm friends with at least 7 of my escorts. There is rarely a day that I'm not emailing or texting one or more of them, just for a minute or two to see how their life is, to catch them up on mine. One of my escorts is going out of his way to have me meet his bf, as I want him to meet mine. One, who is a gifted photographer, wants to take pictures of me and my bf. Another wants me to come to his city with my bf so we can get a behind the scenes look at things most tourists never see. Another gave of his own time to accompany me to my first Pride parade. My escorts were among the first to know that I had fallen in love with the guy I was dating. We have shared love lost, love found, new jobs, our relationships, families, the joy and frustrations of jobs. This morning I got an email from one of my guys sharing an incredibly moving encounter he had with someone on his travels recently.

 

When I first started hiring, I bemoaned the thought that I wouldn't be able to form close attachments that many of my friends had with that one special escort of theirs. Well perhaps I'm not quite as close as they are to that one special guy, but I still have great friendships now with a lot of my escorts. I think many of them take great pride (as they should) in my growth since I've started hiring. From a scared, closeted, self-doubting married man to a proud, confident and out gay man. They have played an enormous part in my development.

 

Perhaps it's me. My life, and everything in it, is an open book. The movie quote I use to describe myself is from Shrek: "I have the right to remain silent. What I lack is the ability". My openness about everything certainly gets the same in return. But as I told one of my guys today, the sex I've had with my escorts has been incredible. I've done and experienced things I couldn't have even imagined. But the sex is such a small part of what I've gotten out of the relationships I've had with my escorts.

 

I try to be respectful and aware of the time my escorts have. If I send a text or an email to one of my guys and I don't hear back for a couple of days, that's fine. The same way I am with any of my "non-escort" friends.

 

Like I said, I didn't start hiring to become friends. I've just been incredibly lucky. And there isn't a day goes by that I fail to appreciate all that has been given to me by these incredible men.

[seeker630]

This topic, in different forms, as been addressed numerous times. Some escorts are willing to develop friendships with "long time" clients some are not -- fine. Some clients want to develop friendships with escorts some do not -- fine. Some escorts see "long time" clients off the clock some do not -- fine. In the end it is simply a matter of what works for both.

 

Well said!

[gp0560]

I'm sure I may be the odd-duck here. I certainly didn't start out to become friends with my escorts. As Bosguy said, friendly yes, friends no. But somehow it has happened. I would say that I'm friends with at least 7 of my escorts. There is rarely a day that I'm not emailing or texting one or more of them, just for a minute or two to see how their life is, to catch them up on mine. One of my escorts is going out of his way to have me meet his bf, as I want him to meet mine. One, who is a gifted photographer, wants to take pictures of me and my bf. Another wants me to come to his city with my bf so we can get a behind the scenes look at things most tourists never see. Another gave of his own time to accompany me to my first Pride parade. My escorts were among the first to know that I had fallen in love with the guy I was dating. We have shared love lost, love found, new jobs, our relationships, families, the joy and frustrations of jobs. This morning I got an email from one of my guys sharing an incredibly moving encounter he had with someone on his travels recently.

 

When I first started hiring, I bemoaned the thought that I wouldn't be able to form close attachments that many of my friends had with that one special escort of theirs. Well perhaps I'm not quite as close as they are to that one special guy, but I still have great friendships now with a lot of my escorts. I think many of them take great pride (as they should) in my growth since I've started hiring. From a scared, closeted, self-doubting married man to a proud, confident and out gay man. They have played an enormous part in my development.

 

Perhaps it's me. My life, and everything in it, is an open book. The movie quote I use to describe myself is from Shrek: "I have the right to remain silent. What I lack is the ability". My openness about everything certainly gets the same in return. But as I told one of my guys today, the sex I've had with my escorts has been incredible. I've done and experienced things I couldn't have even imagined. But the sex is such a small part of what I've gotten out of the relationships I've had with my escorts.

 

I try to be respectful and aware of the time my escorts have. If I send a text or an email to one of my guys and I don't hear back for a couple of days, that's fine. The same way I am with any of my "non-escort" friends.

 

Like I said, I didn't start hiring to become friends. I've just been incredibly lucky. And there isn't a day goes by that I fail to appreciate all that has been given to me by these incredible men.

 

We are all so happy for you, Lee. No, really, we are.

[leigh.bess.toad]

We are all so happy for you, Lee. No, really, we are.

 

As someone who had that sort of relationship with one special guy, you would understand what you can receive from the friendships established.

[maxwellissmart]

Oh I've tried going along that line before. I am a very assertive, sure of my self person but when it comes to turning down social requests from clients I just can't be rude or even subtly rude

 

I usually just make something up like: "I appreciate the offer, but between work and _______ (dealing with dying relative, school, pet, professional organization), I don't have much free time to get to do anything. Thanks though!"

[SteveEscort]

I usually just make something up like: "I appreciate the offer, but between work and _______ (dealing with dying relative, school, pet, professional organization), I don't have much free time to get to do anything. Thanks though!"

 

Yeah, that's usually how I deal with it to a certainly degree. I just feel so awful

[jjkrkwood]

I'm sure I may be the odd-duck here. I certainly didn't start out to become friends with my escorts. As Bosguy said, friendly yes, friends no. But somehow it has happened. I would say that I'm friends with at least 7 of my escorts. There is rarely a day that I'm not emailing or texting one or more of them, just for a minute or two to see how their life is, to catch them up on mine. One of my escorts is going out of his way to have me meet his bf, as I want him to meet mine. One, who is a gifted photographer, wants to take pictures of me and my bf. Another wants me to come to his city with my bf so we can get a behind the scenes look at things most tourists never see. Another gave of his own time to accompany me to my first Pride parade. My escorts were among the first to know that I had fallen in love with the guy I was dating. We have shared love lost, love found, new jobs, our relationships, families, the joy and frustrations of jobs. This morning I got an email from one of my guys sharing an incredibly moving encounter he had with someone on his travels recently.

 

When I first started hiring, I bemoaned the thought that I wouldn't be able to form close attachments that many of my friends had with that one special escort of theirs. Well perhaps I'm not quite as close as they are to that one special guy, but I still have great friendships now with a lot of my escorts. I think many of them take great pride (as they should) in my growth since I've started hiring. From a scared, closeted, self-doubting married man to a proud, confident and out gay man. They have played an enormous part in my development.

 

Perhaps it's me. My life, and everything in it, is an open book. The movie quote I use to describe myself is from Shrek: "I have the right to remain silent. What I lack is the ability". My openness about everything certainly gets the same in return. But as I told one of my guys today, the sex I've had with my escorts has been incredible. I've done and experienced things I couldn't have even imagined. But the sex is such a small part of what I've gotten out of the relationships I've had with my escorts.

 

I try to be respectful and aware of the time my escorts have. If I send a text or an email to one of my guys and I don't hear back for a couple of days, that's fine. The same way I am with any of my "non-escort" friends.

 

Like I said, I didn't start hiring to become friends. I've just been incredibly lucky. And there isn't a day goes by that I fail to appreciate all that has been given to me by these incredible men.

 

YES, you are the odd duck Lee, and your situation IS out of the ordinary, but I am sure you have done alot to bring your results to fruition ? Relationships just DONT happen, people work at them. And I am happy that your life has been enriched by your contacts. But it still IS unusual.

[maxwellissmart]

Yeah, that's usually how I deal with it to a certainly degree. I just feel so awful

 

Why? It's the truth—I've hooked up with guys from the web and used the same line when they wanted to get closer and I didn't. They are a fuck-buddy and nothing more. If I want to get to know someone and become friends with them—it's almost certainly going to be in a non-sexual context from the get-go. It's hard for me to transform a sexual relationship to a non-sexual one—I see people who have done it, but I've never really been successful myself.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Yeah, that's usually how I deal with it to a certainly degree. I just feel so awful

 

Steve -- I'm with maxwell on this. You shouldn't feel awful. If you aren't interested, say so. I realize some guys might go off the deep end, but the truth, in the end, is easier and quicker.

[leigh.bess.toad]

YES, you are the odd duck Lee, and your situation IS out of the ordinary, but I am sure you have done alot to bring your results to fruition ? Relationships just DONT happen, people work at them. And I am happy that your life has been enriched by your contacts. But it still IS unusual.

 

Unusual? Certainly, at least in the number of guys I'm close to. But the relationships are not unique. I know of escorts who have rallied together to help a client through major surgery. Who have been there for them after a serious auto accident. Who go off-the-clock for extended periods of time. And who share their life's events with their clients in much the same way I am blessed to have my escorts do with me.

 

It isn't unique, that's for sure.

[josephga]

Why? It's the truth—I've hooked up with guys from the web and used the same line when they wanted to get closer and I didn't. They are a fuck-buddy and nothing more. If I want to get to know someone and become friends with them—it's almost certainly going to be in a non-sexual context from the get-go. It's hard for me to transform a sexual relationship to a non-sexual one—I see people who have done it, but I've never really been successful myself.

 

 

I can understand that. I zero contact with former bf's. First guy i dated we tried being friends after things ended, and ended up hating each other. I can't go from a sexual relationship to just friends. I dated someone recently for just over 2 months things didn't workout he suggested friends. that was 2 weeks ago last we spoke. I don't see it happening. I dont kiss cuddle or go to bed with my friends.. When I look for friends I actual look for guys I have common interests with but zero sexual attraction too. I know gay men that travel in these little packs where everyone's slept with each other at one point.. Those arn't for me.

[SteveEscort]

I know gay men that travel in these little packs where everyone's slept with each other at one point.. Those arn't for me.

 

Yep, I can't stand men who live their lives on the gay scene. They call others on the gay scene their friends, they're not friends, they'd sell you to the slave traders to save their own arse

[josephga]

yup currently I have no friends here. I mostly just work and keep too myself. Todays my birthday and even spending that alone.

[jjkrkwood]

yup currently I have no friends here. I mostly just work and keep too myself. Todays my birthday and even spending that alone.

 

think of the benefits of being a Loner:

 

no requests to borrow money

never waiting for a friend who shows up late

never being awakened by a drunk-dialing buddy

never having anyone meddle or interfere

noone talking behind your back.

 

But, if people have friends like tHOSE, they aint really friends..... HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSEPH. (Do something SPECIAL for yourself today)

 

And always remember, even when you sepnd time with OTHERS, you are often Alone.