Getting off on the wrong foot

[maxwellissmart]

So a couple of months ago I had this guy contact me, and I sent him a very thorough response about myself, what I offer, rates, etc. I get back an email calling my response "boilerplate," and that he's waiting for me to "establish a rapport" with him before setting something up. I'm at a loss exactly what to say without having met him, so I say nothing and wait for him to make the next move (i.e. set something up). He tries once or twice with virtually no notice, and I'm already booked—so no go. We finally agree on a time, and the day of the meeting, surprise—he has a car wreck. (insert sad trombone here)

 

So now it's several months later and he's contacting me again. I've had clients who were perpetual victims before, and I FINALLY got something set up and it turned out to be rather pleasant. But criticizing my email and then the whole "car wreck" thing just soured me on this guy.

 

What would you do?

[josephga]

imo if you are soured on the guy then you shouldn't take him as a client. If someone criticized me in a email I wouldn't want their bad energy on my massage table

[raulgmanzo]

I think you should see him.

 

So a couple of months ago I had this guy contact me, and I sent him a very thorough response about myself, what I offer, rates, etc. I get back an email calling my response "boilerplate," and that he's waiting for me to "establish a rapport" with him before setting something up. I'm at a loss exactly what to say without having met him, so I say nothing and wait for him to make the next move (i.e. set something up). He tries once or twice with virtually no notice, and I'm already booked—so no go. We finally agree on a time, and the day of the meeting, surprise—he has a car wreck. (insert sad trombone here)

 

So now it's several months later and he's contacting me again. I've had clients who were perpetual victims before, and I FINALLY got something set up and it turned out to be rather pleasant. But criticizing my email and then the whole "car wreck" thing just soured me on this guy.

 

What would you do?

[raulgmanzo]

Why would a service provider let a simple criticism sour them?

How would that be the clients bad energy? At some point or another everybody expresses themselves less than elegantly

and we all have bad days or unfortunate accidents at some point in our lives.

 

I should think a skilled masseur -as I know you are- would have no trouble transforming that "bad energy" into something positive. Anyway if the service provider is the one soured then the bad energy would not be on the table would it?

 

Clearly the client has not become soured. And any client who can get past some initial difficulties and still wants to see you has the potential to be a great client.

 

imo if you are soured on the guy then you shouldn't take him as a client. If someone criticized me in a email I wouldn't want their bad energy on my massage table

[+ Travis69]

In talking with escorts and masseurs I find one of their best resources is other guys they have a friendship with and can compare notes with about potential clients. Reach out to some of the other escorts in your area and see if this guy has been a problem to other people. Everyday in many fields people see clients they don't like. They just do it for the money. Question is how much do you want his money in your hand.

[jimboivyo]

as we say in the texas ranchlands, that's HORSESHIT. when I contact an escort, I make myself clear, don't waste his time and follow through. there's no transforming needed.

 

it sounds like he's wasting your time. if you need the gig badly, I would say to take it, but if not, forget about him.

[jjkrkwood]

And you never know what opportunities can come from your seeing a NEW client. I would give it a shot, although I speak from the clients viewpoint.

[Guest JackF]

I'd say that you give him one more opportunity to make the meeting happen, if it doesn't workout, he doesn't follow through, there's an issue, etc. then I wouldn't waste my time with him anymore. Nonetheless, still be as nice as you are to all other clients and treat him right, you never know who he may be or what he may be able to offer you/help you with...

Hope that helps.

[maxwellissmart]

Why would a service provider let a simple criticism sour them?

How would that be the clients bad energy? At some point or another everybody expresses themselves less than elegantly

and we all have bad days or unfortunate accidents at some point in our lives.

 

I should think a skilled masseur -as I know you are- would have no trouble transforming that "bad energy" into something positive. Anyway if the service provider is the one soured then the bad energy would not be on the table would it?

 

Clearly the client has not become soured. And any client who can get past some initial difficulties and still wants to see you has the potential to be a great client.

 

Thanks for the feedback, guys.

[jjkrkwood]

Thanks for the feedback, guys.

 

 

If you do decide to meet him, and it works out favorably, WE all want a financial cut..... ;-)

[+ Charlie]

Several years ago, I made a first-time appt. with an established escort, in another city, who has been well-reviewed here. On the morning of the appt., I awoke with a medical issue, phoned my doctor, and was told to return home immediately. I called the escort, got his answering machine, and left a message explaining why I had to cancel. After I got home and had seen the doctor, I emailed him to apologize again and try to set up another appt. To my surprise, I got a notice that he had blocked further emails from me! Needless to say, I never tried to contact him again. I thought that his response was an over-reaction, but maybe he felt justified. Only you can decide whether your apparent gut reaction is the correct one.

[maxwellissmart]

If you do decide to meet him, and it works out favorably, WE all want a financial cut..... ;-)

 

Okay, so I took Raul's advice and I responded to his latest email asking when he'd like to get together. Here's the response: I was told that my "candidacy" for becoming his regular escort was being withdrawn because of my unwillingness to be flexible with my schedule (he always has a habit of contacting me at the very last minute, when I'm already booked—and the days I'm open this coming week don't suit his schedule), not to mention his disappointment that I am obviously one of those escorts who is "just in it for the money," and apparently didn't feel sorry enough for him after his car wreck to lower my rate so that he could still afford to come see me.

 

Ah well, I tried.

[raulgmanzo]

Wow, that the escort got upset because you needed to cancel is sad but that he felt the need to block you is totally pathetic.

Actually I have no idea why people EVER feel the need to block someone. Blocking is the digital equivalent of putting

ones fingers in their ears and screaming "I CAN'T HEAR YOU". Very childish IMHO.

 

Several years ago, I made a first-time appt. with an established escort, in another city, who has been well-reviewed here. On the morning of the appt., I awoke with a medical issue, phoned my doctor, and was told to return home immediately. I called the escort, got his answering machine, and left a message explaining why I had to cancel. After I got home and had seen the doctor, I emailed him to apologize again and try to set up another appt. To my surprise, I got a notice that he had blocked further emails from me! Needless to say, I never tried to contact him again. I thought that his response was an over-reaction, but maybe he felt justified. Only you can decide whether your apparent gut reaction is the correct one.

[gcursor]

good karma points

 

Nicely done Maxwellissmart. At least you chose to think the best of him and gave it a shot. Karma points for you

gcursor

 

Okay, so I took Raul's advice and I responded to his latest email asking when he'd like to get together. Here's the response: I was told that my "candidacy" for becoming his regular escort was being withdrawn because of my unwillingness to be flexible with my schedule (he always has a habit of contacting me at the very last minute, when I'm already booked—and the days I'm open this coming week don't suit his schedule), not to mention his disappointment that I am obviously one of those escorts who is "just in it for the money," and apparently didn't feel sorry enough for him after his car wreck to lower my rate so that he could still afford to come see me.

 

Ah well, I tried.

[raulgmanzo]

...Ah well, I tried.

 

Well that sucks that the client still didn't come through. Though I admit I'm not surprised and I suppose ultimately it is probably for the better.

Still I'm glad you tried instead of just writing him off. Shows good character on your behalf I think.

[jjkrkwood]

Okay, so I took Raul's advice and I responded to his latest email asking when he'd like to get together. Here's the response: I was told that my "candidacy" for becoming his regular escort was being withdrawn because of my unwillingness to be flexible with my schedule (he always has a habit of contacting me at the very last minute, when I'm already booked—and the days I'm open this coming week don't suit his schedule), not to mention his disappointment that I am obviously one of those escorts who is "just in it for the money," and apparently didn't feel sorry enough for him after his car wreck to lower my rate so that he could still afford to come see me.

 

Ah well, I tried.

Well under those circumstances, I would put it aside, not give it another thought, and move on. You are an escort, NOT an indentured servant.

[maxwellissmart]

Well under those circumstances, I would put it aside, not give it another thought, and move on. You are an escort, NOT an indentured servant.

 

No no no, JJ—I am a candidate and will be treated as such.

[maxwellissmart]

Well that sucks that the client still didn't come through. Though I admit I'm not surprised and I suppose ultimately it is probably for the better.

Still I'm glad you tried instead of just writing him off. Shows good character on your behalf I think.

 

Well I did say: "so when does your bitch ass wants to get together (while smacking my gum Bronx-style)?"

[Guest JackF]

Well I did say: "so when does your bitch ass wants to get together (while smacking my gum Bronx-style)?"

 

 

Hahahahaha

[Kevin Slater]

Wow, that the escort got upset because you needed to cancel is sad but that he felt the need to block you is totally pathetic.

Actually I have no idea why people EVER feel the need to block someone. Blocking is the digital equivalent of putting

ones fingers in their ears and screaming "I CAN'T HEAR YOU". Very childish IMHO.

 

Wow, you've clearly had a charmed escorting career if you can't EVER imagine the need to block someone. It's not putting your fingers in your ears and screaming, it's making a problem go away.

 

Kevin Slater

[raulgmanzo]

Wow, you've clearly had a charmed escorting career if you can't EVER imagine the need to block someone. It's not putting your fingers in your ears and screaming, it's making a problem go away.

 

Kevin Slater

 

Whats wrong with simply ignoring an email or marking it as spam?

Anyway I get at least my share of kooky rude idiot email. In fact every single day.

 

But it usually isn't hard to ignore or convince them to go away. Plus blocking does nothing

to a determined nut who will think nothing of using a different email or computer.

 

So yes it is like putting ones fingers in ones ears as you are not hearing the person even

if for example they are writing a sane apology, or explanation of how someone stole their

email password.

 

I still think ignoring an inappropriate email is better than blocking it.

Except in extreme or repetitive situations. So I admit you are right I shouldn't have said

I can't EVER imagine. I should perhaps say I think one would rarely need to block someone.

[josephga]

I have had a few that don't understand the word no and blocking's been the only option

[maxwellissmart]

Whats wrong with simply ignoring an email or marking it as spam?

Anyway I get at least my share of kooky rude idiot email. In fact every single day.

 

But it usually isn't hard to ignore or convince them to go away. Plus blocking does nothing

to a determined nut who will think nothing of using a different email or computer.

 

So yes it is like putting ones fingers in ones ears as you are not hearing the person even

if for example they are writing a sane apology, or explanation of how someone stole their

email password.

 

I still think ignoring an inappropriate email is better than blocking it.

Except in extreme or repetitive situations. So I admit you are right I shouldn't have said

I can't EVER imagine. I should perhaps say I think one would rarely need to block someone.

 

Ignoring—blocking. I mean, we're just playing semantics here at this point. One is essentially the other if they have the same effect for the person doing it, which is to lessen the problem. Personally I think ignoring someone can be just as dangerous as blocking them, since they'll usually just find a way to contact you again anyway if they feel like putting forth the effort.

[jimboivyo]

Okay, so I took Raul's advice and I responded to his latest email asking when he'd like to get together. Here's the response: I was told that my "candidacy" for becoming his regular escort was being withdrawn because of my unwillingness to be flexible with my schedule (he always has a habit of contacting me at the very last minute, when I'm already booked—and the days I'm open this coming week don't suit his schedule), not to mention his disappointment that I am obviously one of those escorts who is "just in it for the money," and apparently didn't feel sorry enough for him after his car wreck to lower my rate so that he could still afford to come see me.

 

Ah well, I tried.

 

he confirmed that he was an ass. you're better off. moving on.

[RexAll]

Ignoring—blocking. I mean, we're just playing semantics here at this point. One is essentially the other if they have the same effect for the person doing it, which is to lessen the problem. Personally I think ignoring someone can be just as dangerous as blocking them, since they'll usually just find a way to contact you again anyway if they feel like putting forth the effort.

 

 

Max- a question- I thought several months ago- I or someone else asked you about an ad. I thought your reply was you weren't really advertising at the moment- just seeing some regulars. Has this changed? Do you now have an ad somewhere? Inquiring minds would like to know.

 

 

Thanks,

 

Rex