Casing the Joint

[gallahadesquire]

This is an extension from OceanTraveler's sleepyhead. He said he'd like to have the guy back because the guy now knows the house.

 

My first "regular" escort would keep i stuff in his suitcase, and made a really minimal impact on the room.

 

My current escort has done some odd things:

• We met at a restaurant. We went to my house. "Make yourself comfortable," I said, and the next thing I know, he's draped himself over both of the arms of the chair.
  
• We've gotten into a routine: Dinner, movie, yadda yadda. We were lying on the sofa watching Blazing Saddles, and he got up. "Where are you going?" I asked. "I'm getting some wine. Would you like some"
  
• We went to a nice Tapas restaurant in town. On the way home, I diverted so he could see the campus where I worked. He decided he wanted to see my office.
  
• I have to wear a contact lens. The last time he was over, had pulled out the lens case and asked me what it was for? It is kind of strange... has metal fins on the bottom to break down the hydrogen peroxide (H2O2) and, believe you me, you want that broken down.
  

 

Truth be told, I find these things quaint in the extreme, but a little odd. I'm just curious if the rentboy crowd has any input as to how odd these actions are? I have not felt threatened or unsafe. Just some cute, strange activities.

 

Thank you for your support.

[Guest Merlin]

Actually, is sounds like he thinks that you are friends and not just escort and client. No a bad thing. But calling it "casing" makes it sounds like you don't trust him. I would say trust your instincts and wind it down.

[jimboivyo]

why must you guys forever find negatives in things that are normal, friendly behaviours?

 

it's not him you mistrust. like many here, it's the general mental problem you face when paying someone for sex and companionship. many cannot just do it without lots of strings attached. I'd suggest not taking the advice of cutting this guy loose and continue to enjoy his company. if it makes you happy, why find fault?

[+ purplekow]

Make yourself comfortable He did

Gets up to get wine Made himself comfortable and now quite at home

Wants to see the office Oh good a chance for sex in the office

What is the lens case Seem an innocent enough question

As long as he is not loading any of your stuff into his suitcase, his actions do not seem to be of a particularly suspicious or overfriendly nature. Now if he is going down to the wine cellar and pulling out at $1000 dollar bottle of wine, perhaps that is a bit much. Otherwise relax and make yourself comfortable.

[rvwnsd]

Assuming you and this guy have a connection and hang out often, none of these behaviors sound quaint or strange. They sound like the behaviors friends exhibit toward one another. I agree with jimboivyo...enjoy the moments you share.

[gallahadesquire]

Make that: Looking around the house

 

Actually, is sounds like he thinks that you are friends and not just escort and client. No a bad thing. But calling it "casing" makes it sounds like you don't trust him. I would say trust your instincts and wind it down.

 

I was trying to be amusing, and obviously failed. Thanks for the clarity on the friends part. He mumbled something about if I were 15 or 25 years younger (there is a major age discrepancy) ...

 

I've had but few repeat experiences with escorts. Two of them, I just never warmed up to. One I had spoken to via AIM for five years before we met. And now this current young fellow.

 

I'm going for the friendly bit, and please re-read "Casing the joint" as "Looking around the hourse."

[jjkrkwood]

I'm sorry, I just find the escorts behavior a bit to "presumptive" and unprofessional, and I personally would draw the line. Obviously the OP is nuturing something a bit MORE than a business relationship. When I hire, it is strictly business, and I do not project anything personal onto it. But thats just me, and as has been said many times on this site, each person hires for a different reason. But for me, the "make yourself comfortable" thing only works within the guidelines I set. I dont want escorts roaming my house, opening things, etc. They get paid for time and sex. They need to use that time accordingly.

[down_to_business]

My current escort has done some odd things:

• *truncated*
  
• We've gotten into a routine: Dinner, movie, yadda yadda. We were lying on the sofa watching Blazing Saddles, and he got up. "Where are you going?" I asked. "I'm getting some wine. Would you like some"
  
• We went to a nice Tapas restaurant in town. On the way home, I diverted so he could see the campus where I worked. He decided he wanted to see my office.
  

 

I would have appreciated his thoughfullness of offering me a drink when he was getting one. I would also appreciate his interest in me when asking to see my office after I drove him by where I worked.

 

If I was hiring the same person for long appointments (ie dinner + movie +...) numerous times to 'fall into a routine', I would have definitely tried to make him feel comfortable enough to get a drink or go to the bathroom on his own.

 

From your post, I take it that you are a little more formal and not so trusting as evidenced by your post and questioning the chap on 'where he was going' when he got up. This is perfectly OK for you to feel this way.. but.. you may want to keep things on a more formal basis with the escort and not make him feel like ' my house is your house.. or help yourself or feel free to put your feet up... etc.' I think you will be much happier that way.

[Epigonos]

I always tell guests in my home to make themselves at home and am flattered when they feel comfortable enough to do so. When an escort is in my home I consider him no different than any other guest.

[seeker630]

I always tell guests in my home to make themselves at home and am flattered when they feel comfortable enough to do so. When an escort is in my home I consider him no different than any other guest.

 

I'm sorry, I just find the escorts behavior a bit to "presumptive" and unprofessional, and I personally would draw the line. Obviously the OP is nuturing something a bit MORE than a business relationship. When I hire, it is strictly business, and I do not project anything personal onto it. But thats just me, and as has been said many times on this site, each person hires for a different reason. But for me, the "make yourself comfortable" thing only works within the guidelines I set. I dont want escorts roaming my house, opening things, etc. They get paid for time and sex. They need to use that time accordingly.

 

Some here will consider escorts to be guests, others will view them as more like the plumber, brought in to do a job.

 

Neither approach is wrong, in my opinion, just evidence of differing personalities, preferences and priorities with regard to sex and companionship.

 

Hopefully escorts can infer from the client's behavior what the limits are.

[jjkrkwood]

Some here will consider escorts to be guests, others will view them as more like the plumber, brought in to do a job.

 

Neither approach is wrong, in my opinion, just evidence of differing personalities, preferences and priorities with regard to sex and companionship.

 

Hopefully escorts can infer from the client's behavior what the limits are.

 

Seeker, although my plumber doesnt walk in and shove his cock in my mouth, I get your point and DO agree.....

[adriano46]

I always tell guests in my home to make themselves at home and am flattered when they feel comfortable enough to do so. When an escort is in my home I consider him no different than any other guest.

 

I have only rarely invited an escort to my home. In fact only 4 or 5 have ever seen where I live and not one of them abused the hospitality.

 

I too mean it when I say, "Make yourself at home." In the cases mentioned above, all the escorts came for more than a day and so I gave to each one a set of house keys to come and go as they liked during the times I was out working. I showed them where the well-stocked fridge was, where the wine was kept, and where the liquor cabinet was. I explained hot to use the TV-Cable, and gave them a choice of the two bathrooms on which to use (one had a tub/shower, the other a walk-in shower). And for those wanting it, I showed them how to use the washer and dryer.

 

I do not normally see an escort in my home; these were all exceptions and all for stays of from 48 hours to a week. I am grateful not one of them either broke my confidence or ever threatened to "out" me knowing who I am and what I do for a living. If anything, it taught me to trust them even more for this discretion.

[down_to_business]

Seeker, although my plumber doesnt walk in and shove his cock in my mouth, I get your point and DO agree.....

 

You are hiring the wrong kind of plumber

[Juan Vancouver]

Some here will consider escorts to be guests, others will view them as more like the plumber, brought in to do a job.

 

Neither approach is wrong, in my opinion, just evidence of differing personalities, preferences and priorities with regard to sex and companionship.

 

Hopefully escorts can infer from the client's behavior what the limits are.

 

Exactly my thoughts. Different people are comfortable with different things.

It is my job to understand my client's degree of desired familiarity. (Hell, I have to constantly gauge the same with my friends and family.)

 

If there is anything that makes you uneasy about your shared interaction, it wouldn't hurt to address it in a kind manner.

 

This is his job, and he clearly feels comfortable around you; you have the right to feel the same ease.

[jjkrkwood]

You are hiring the wrong kind of plumber

 

I'm taking references for a new one

[seeker630]

You are hiring the wrong kind of plumber

 

I think I have that movie.

[maxwellissmart]

I was trying to be amusing, and obviously failed. Thanks for the clarity on the friends part. He mumbled something about if I were 15 or 25 years younger (there is a major age discrepancy) ...

 

I've had but few repeat experiences with escorts. Two of them, I just never warmed up to. One I had spoken to via AIM for five years before we met. And now this current young fellow.

 

I'm going for the friendly bit, and please re-read "Casing the joint" as "Looking around the hourse."

 

Actually, yes—it failed. Your escort is trying to give you an experience that's a little more than the sum of its parts (you pay me for sex, I give you sex). It's called a "boyfriend experience." Lighten up and take him up on it. You might just enjoy yourself.

[jjkrkwood]

Actually, yes—it failed. Your escort is trying to give you an experience that's a little more than the sum of its parts (you pay me for sex, I give you sex). It's called a "boyfriend experience." Lighten up and take him up on it. You might just enjoy yourself.

 

 

So THATS what a BF experience is ??? No BF, unless we actually live together will have the run of MY house. I believe, although guests should be made to feel welcum in your home, they also need to be respectful of you and YOUR home. Making yourself comfortable has its limits in MY book.... Even my friends when they are in my home, ask if they can go get something from the fridge. Its common courtesy...

[maxwellissmart]

So THATS what a BF experience is ??? No BF, unless we actually live together will have the run of MY house. I believe, although guests should be made to feel welcum in your home, they also need to be respectful of you and YOUR home. Making yourself comfortable has its limits in MY book.... Even my friends when they are in my home, ask if they can go get something from the fridge. Its common courtesy...

 

I realize that—but I get the feeling that the OP is quite inconsistent in the message he's delivering to the escort.

 

And by "BF experience," I mean someone with whom you're out on a "date," as opposed to a "session." I do this all the time—for me as much as for the client.

[gallahadesquire]

Actually, after about two "sessions", I was head over heals. My anything-gay sense is never good at best, but I get the sense he's into me, too. [i have corroborating evidence: He and I both like the same kind of muscle-y, hairy 30 year olds, and neither of us fit the bill]. I actually find his comfort with me refreshing, and as I said in my review, I'd consider hiring him just for the conversations.

 

Thanks for all the points of view. I hesitate to think of him as a boy friend for multiple reasons, although, when he said he was looking at UCBerkley or U Chicago for graduate school, my heart sank more than a little bit. But he really dos a BFE incredibly well, whatever the motivation.

 

I'm taking him to Disneyworld in March for a week. That should prove interesting. He's more of an evening person and I'm a morning person. We'll meet somewhere in the middle.

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS, Everyone!

[jjkrkwood]

Actually, after about two "sessions", I was head over heals. My anything-gay sense is never good at best, but I get the sense he's into me, too. [i have corroborating evidence: He and I both like the same kind of muscle-y, hairy 30 year olds, and neither of us fit the bill]. I actually find his comfort with me refreshing, and as I said in my review, I'd consider hiring him just for the conversations.

 

Thanks for all the points of view. I hesitate to think of him as a boy friend for multiple reasons, although, when he said he was looking at UCBerkley or U Chicago for graduate school, my heart sank more than a little bit. But he really dos a BFE incredibly well, whatever the motivation.

 

I'm taking him to Disneyworld in March for a week. That should prove interesting. He's more of an evening person and I'm a morning person. We'll meet somewhere in the middle.

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS, Everyone!

 

Its the typical "emotional" response to a "financial" situation. Clients often "project" false or fantasy feelings onto their experiences with the escort. Although it may initially be about sex for some, for others its a whole lot more, and they succumb to the lure and "forever after" of something they made up in their head. Emotions are things you CANT control, but you really need to take a step back, look at the reality of the situation. THE GUY IS AN ESCORT..... He is doing his JOB in getting you to like and desire him, but only for additonal sessions. If his feelings were reciprocal, I am sure there would be no guesswork here, he would LET YOU KNOW.... We ALL want to be loved and desired, so I cannot fault the OP. I truly hope things work out in his best interests.

[maxwellissmart]

Its the typical "emotional" response to a "financial" situation. Clients often "project" false or fantasy feelings onto their experiences with the escort. Although it may initially be about sex for some, for others its a whole lot more, and they succumb to the lure and "forever after" of something they made up in their head. Emotions are things you CANT control, but you really need to take a step back, look at the reality of the situation. THE GUY IS AN ESCORT..... He is doing his JOB in getting you to like and desire him, but only for additonal sessions. If his feelings were reciprocal, I am sure there would be no guesswork here, he would LET YOU KNOW.... We ALL want to be loved and desired, so I cannot fault the OP. I truly hope things work out in his best interests.

 

I think you're making a generalization—albeit a mostly accurate one. I posted earlier about the client I saw (which was actually my Christmas present to myself, more or less), which became a genuine friendship a long time ago. But he's about the only person I would do that for, even though I genuinely like many of my clients as people, and not just clients.

 

The problem I have with the OP is that he's all over the board with these inconsistent feelings towards his escort, and his escort's method of escorting. "Head over heels" and "his comfort with me [is] refreshing" don't jibe with "he came in an draped himself all over my chair after getting himself a glass of wine." WTF?

[+ purplekow]

So THATS what a BF experience is ??? No BF, unless we actually live together will have the run of MY house. I believe, although guests should be made to feel welcum in your home, they also need to be respectful of you and YOUR home. Making yourself comfortable has its limits in MY book.... Even my friends when they are in my home, ask if they can go get something from the fridge. Its common courtesy...

No where does the OP say the escort went to the refrigerator. THe escort went to get some wine, which may have been out and in an open bottle in another room. I agree that as a guest in someone's home, I generally would ask to go into the refrigerator> On the other hand, I have had overnight escorts make coffee in the morning for both of us and in delivering the coffee, they brought milk and sweeteners which were not out in plain sight. I did not mind, as being awakened to the smell of hot coffee and hot man outweighs, for me, any sense of invasion of privacy that may have resulted from raiding the frig for milk.

[Bosguy]

It really depends on who the working guy is and how long or well you know each other. In October, I was able to have 2 of my favorite guys spend time with me at my new condo. At no time was I concerned about anything they did in the condo. I've known each of them for +/- one year and I have either stayed at their homes or been invited. During both visits, I had to run out to do errands and I trusted my home and beloved dog to both of these guys--the trust is what made the visit far more than a visit.

 

Would I do this as a general policy? NO!

 

Moral of the story--be trusting as trust is developed.

 

Boston Bill

[jjkrkwood]

No where does the OP say the escort went to the refrigerator. THe escort went to get some wine, which may have been out and in an open bottle in another room. I agree that as a guest in someone's home, I generally would ask to go into the refrigerator> On the other hand, I have had overnight escorts make coffee in the morning for both of us and in delivering the coffee, they brought milk and sweeteners which were not out in plain sight. I did not mind, as being awakened to the smell of hot coffee and hot man outweighs, for me, any sense of invasion of privacy that may have resulted from raiding the frig for milk.

 

PK, I was "expanding" on a thought, not being literal here. Obviously MY tolerances for these types of things are NOT as liberal as yours are. Its your perrogative to treat your guests any which way you choose, as it is mine to do so as well. We have seen many times, with many topics on this site that no 2 people are in complete agreement. Suffice it to say that if something works for you, and you are comfortable with it, then thats the way FOR YOU. Doesnt make someones elses choices less viable....