From "Miss Mary Maudin's Book of Escort Etiquette & Social Concerns in Early America"

[maxwellissmart]

I found this in the library, and since we're often on the topic of "what makes a good/better appointment," I thought this might help. And apparently they had Manhunt back when this book was originally published (c. 1798), which is wild!

 

Common Pitfalls and Social Blunders Committed by the Stupid, Careless or Downright Awful Client:

 

10) Clients who use teeth when kissing.

Granted, a little nip here and a bite there can greatly heighten the overall experience. But the client who opens his mouth wide and dives in for the kill deserves to be shot in the knees and left behind during the eventual zombie apocalypse.

9) The dirty butt.

Let's just go ahead and acknowledge the Brown Elephant over there in the corner. You'd think sometimes the lyrics must go: If I knew you were coming / I wouldn't have taken a dump / Taken a dump / Taken a dump (just five minutes ago).

 

The thing is—you DID know we were coming, since you set up the appointment, silly. Chances are at some point you might get touched/licked/kissed there. Make sure it's good to go, sport. And using toilet paper is not the fix we're going for here.

 

8) Garlic.

There's a reason it's called "the stinking rose." It stinks. And so will you.

7) Expecting me to call you back at a hotel that won't connect me to your room without your last name.

Love is all about taking chances. And your chance lasts only about 15 minutes, or I book with someone else, because your appointment now sounds like a set-up. Thanks, bye.

6) Asking me to justify my prices or to audition so you know you'll be satisfied.

This is so asshole-ish it doesn't even deserve a further explanation.

 

5) The dirty house / apartment / lair.

Seriously, you should be embarrassed. And flogged. My car engine is still warm, and I'll be happy to drive back home and masturbate or login to Manhunt instead. And I'll be sure to blacklist you as well with every other escort in town. And I'll also wonder for the next day or two if I'm going to need to go buy Rid.

4) Clients who try to insert Peg A into Slot B without using Lube C.

This hurts, and believe me—I will try exactly the same thing on you before the hour is up.

3) Trying to top when you haven't the equipment or an erection to do it.

You know how there are minimum standards for riding certain rides at the amusement park?

2) A "regular" client is one that I've actually seen before—a.k.a. "Black Friday."

You don't get the "regular" discount by saying that you WILL become a regular. Oh, and you also don't get to set the terms of the discount, or—more ballsily—how much you intend to pay for my services. That's my job. If you're a coupon clipper, you probably shouldn't be hiring in the first place. You're the kind of guy who wants to find a Rolex at the Dollar Store. And chances are—it's not gonna happen.

 

1) Clients who make reservations.

Not the good, restaurant-y kind—the kind that go something like this: "I don't kiss. I don't French kiss. I don't rim. I don't suck. I don't talk at all. I'm ticklish. I don't like to be touched there. I'm not going to take off my shirt. In fact, I think I'll just curl up in a little ball and wish that this would just end, because I'm sooooo uncomfortable." Not only have you wasted your time and money, you've wasted my time as well and made me feel like I can't please you or do anything right. Please—do us both a favor and never, ever call me again.

[gallahadesquire]

RE: #2: A "regular" client is one that I've actually seen before -a.k.a. Black Friday.

 

"... You're the kind of guy who wants to find a Rolex at the Dollar Store. And chances are--it's not going to happen."

 

A mildly amusing anecdote:

In New England, there is a specific "Outlet store" named the Building 19 [with assorted fractions thereafter].

Many many moons ago, said store had bought smoke-damaged items from a jewelry store's insurance settlement.

My Rolex was, indeed, half-off.

 

So, although there's a chance - it is slim.

[Lohengrin1979]

Does #6 actually happen to escorts? I mean, I'm used to auditions but I can't imagine asking an escort to give me a 15 minute preview. Who makes this sort of request, honestly....

[maxwellissmart]

Does #6 actually happen to escorts? I mean, I'm used to auditions but I can't imagine asking an escort to give me a 15 minute preview. Who makes this sort of request, honestly....

 

Yes. I've had clients instruct me to write things, dress up in outfits and send them photo-shoots, call them and role-play, etc.

[Steven_Draker]

Does #6 actually happen to escorts? I mean, I'm used to auditions but I can't imagine asking an escort to give me a 15 minute preview. Who makes this sort of request, honestly....

 

There's a youngster from NYC who posted on this very Board, that he was expecting to meet the escort for a little 'conversation', for 'five minutes', 'down his building' or 'in a coffee shop' before deciding to hire. Does that count as audition or interview?

[+ deej]

Does #6 actually happen to escorts? I mean, I'm used to auditions but I can't imagine asking an escort to give me a 15 minute preview. Who makes this sort of request, honestly....

 

A former regular here used to offer to whip off his shirt at the door and call it quits if you don't like what you see. It's another side of the "he didn't look like his pictures" coin. (This guy would never be turned away. Impressive chesticles!)

[scottspearsxxx]

Most of my clients are pretty upfront with what they want to do in our scene together and I encourage that in writing beforehand so the clients gets exactly what he or they want and nobody is disappointed or surprised! I am always honored when a client is a repeat client as I try to make every experience the best one possible!

[gcursor]

Not bad maxwell. I am curious though. Why do you make these comments under a pseudonym account instead of using your escort name?

gc

 

I found this in the library, and since we're often on the topic of "what makes a good/better appointment," I thought this might help. And apparently they had Manhunt back when this book was originally published (c. 1798), which is wild!

 

Common Pitfalls and Social Blunders Committed by the Stupid, Careless or Downright Awful Client:

 

10) Clients who use teeth when kissing.

Granted, a little nip here and a bite there can greatly heighten the overall experience. But the client who opens his mouth wide and dives in for the kill deserves to be shot in the knees and left behind during the eventual zombie apocalypse.

9) The dirty butt.

Let's just go ahead and acknowledge the Brown Elephant over there in the corner. You'd think sometimes the lyrics must go: If I knew you were coming / I wouldn't have taken a dump / Taken a dump / Taken a dump (just five minutes ago).

 

The thing is—you DID know we were coming, since you set up the appointment, silly. Chances are at some point you might get touched/licked/kissed there. Make sure it's good to go, sport. And using toilet paper is not the fix we're going for here.

 

8) Garlic.

There's a reason it's called "the stinking rose." It stinks. And so will you.

7) Expecting me to call you back at a hotel that won't connect me to your room without your last name.

Love is all about taking chances. And your chance lasts only about 15 minutes, or I book with someone else, because your appointment now sounds like a set-up. Thanks, bye.

6) Asking me to justify my prices or to audition so you know you'll be satisfied.

This is so asshole-ish it doesn't even deserve a further explanation.

 

5) The dirty house / apartment / lair.

Seriously, you should be embarrassed. And flogged. My car engine is still warm, and I'll be happy to drive back home and masturbate or login to Manhunt instead. And I'll be sure to blacklist you as well with every other escort in town. And I'll also wonder for the next day or two if I'm going to need to go buy Rid.

4) Clients who try to insert Peg A into Slot B without using Lube C.

This hurts, and believe me—I will try exactly the same thing on you before the hour is up.

3) Trying to top when you haven't the equipment or an erection to do it.

You know how there are minimum standards for riding certain rides at the amusement park?

2) A "regular" client is one that I've actually seen before—a.k.a. "Black Friday."

You don't get the "regular" discount by saying that you WILL become a regular. Oh, and you also don't get to set the terms of the discount, or—more ballsily—how much you intend to pay for my services. That's my job. If you're a coupon clipper, you probably shouldn't be hiring in the first place. You're the kind of guy who wants to find a Rolex at the Dollar Store. And chances are—it's not gonna happen.

 

1) Clients who make reservations.

Not the good, restaurant-y kind—the kind that go something like this: "I don't kiss. I don't French kiss. I don't rim. I don't suck. I don't talk at all. I'm ticklish. I don't like to be touched there. I'm not going to take off my shirt. In fact, I think I'll just curl up in a little ball and wish that this would just end, because I'm sooooo uncomfortable." Not only have you wasted your time and money, you've wasted my time as well and made me feel like I can't please you or do anything right. Please—do us both a favor and never, ever call me again.

[maxwellissmart]

Not bad maxwell. I am curious though. Why do you make these comments under a pseudonym account instead of using your escort name?

gc

 

Because I don't use this site to drum up business.

[cany10011]

Maxwell is indeed very smart! Nice and mysterious

 

 

Because I don't use this site to drum up business.

[orbital sander]

Not bad maxwell. I am curious though. Why do you make these comments under a pseudonym account instead of using your escort name?

gc

 

Considering the way some people act around here, I do not see much upside to any escort here revealing his working identity.

[jimboivyo]

with the way many act on here, it's no wonder we can't get more escorts posting. get a load of the deep convo going on in the 'offer for escorts' topic. it's like listening to flea market shoppers haggle over magic beans. cheap doesn't even begin to describe the way some people present themselves. to me, it's embarrassing.

 

maxwell- funny and smart. keep posting.

[maxwellissmart]

maxwell- funny and smart. keep posting.

 

Thank you. I miss having someone to talk about escorting from both angles, which is why I rejoined the board.

[KMEM]

RE: #2: A "regular" client is one that I've actually seen before -a.k.a. Black Friday.

 

"... You're the kind of guy who wants to find a Rolex at the Dollar Store. And chances are--it's not going to happen."

 

A mildly amusing anecdote:

In New England, there is a specific "Outlet store" named the Building 19 [with assorted fractions thereafter].

Many many moons ago, said store had bought smoke-damaged items from a jewelry store's insurance settlement.

My Rolex was, indeed, half-off.

 

So, although there's a chance - it is slim.

 

How long ago did this happen? Does it still keep reasonable time? My experience with smoke damaged goods is they are likely to fail at a later time just before the thrill of making a good deal turns into the chagrin of not knowing enough. However, electronics seem the most susceptible. My experience with Rolex is it is a beutiful piece of jewelry but not so much as a time piece. What has been your experience?

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[JoeyBryant]

Because I don't use this site to drum up business.

 

Well I don't think (or would hope) that people's sole purpose of not being incognito would not be all about wanting to drum up business.

 

I'm well aware that I don't drum up any business from being on the board, as most clients I come across have never heard of it before. Or they don't have an interest. But it's actually more of a social networking thing for me. MySpace or FaceBook if you will as I don't use either one.

 

I just don't know why some posters are bent on having someone identify themselves. It's like, you as a client get to keep your privacy; we reserve the right too if we choose.

[gcursor]

true enough but..

 

True enough Joey but when I hire a person then I use my real name with them from beginning to end. Ask ANY of the people that I've seen. I believe in being honest and I also share my handle on the board with them as well (typically rather quickly as well...first one or two emails).

 

So if I ran across somebody like the OP...then I am not even sure they would tell me about their handle on the board ..let alone their feelings about what they said. So I am being completely honest on my side and that's what I am saying. I don't mind if they want to hide their identity and feelings but I hope that they would tell me politely that we probably wouldn't do good together if I did contact them to hook up.

gcursor

 

Well I don't think (or would hope) that people's sole purpose of not being incognito would not be all about wanting to drum up business.

 

I'm well aware that I don't drum up any business from being on the board, as most clients I come across have never heard of it before. Or they don't have an interest. But it's actually more of a social networking thing for me. MySpace or FaceBook if you will as I don't use either one.

 

I just don't know why some posters are bent on having someone identify themselves. It's like, you as a client get to keep your privacy; we reserve the right too if we choose.

[maxwellissmart]

So if I ran across somebody like the OP...then I am not even sure they would tell me about their handle on the board

 

The OP used to tell almost everyone his real name and post face pics until it bit him on the ass one day and he had to do major damage control by basically leaving town. I've had to learn the hard way about balancing honesty and privacy with regards to escorting. But... to each his own—if someone wants to tell me their real name, their life story, their bank account number, then that's their decision.

[seeker630]

True enough Joey but when I hire a person then I use my real name with them from beginning to end. Ask ANY of the people that I've seen. I believe in being honest and I also share my handle on the board with them as well (typically rather quickly as well...first one or two emails).

 

So if I ran across somebody like the OP...then I am not even sure they would tell me about their handle on the board ..let alone their feelings about what they said. So I am being completely honest on my side and that's what I am saying. I don't mind if they want to hide their identity and feelings but I hope that they would tell me politely that we probably wouldn't do good together if I did contact them to hook up.

gcursor

 

I can remember, in the past, that some clients here said they preferred NOT to reveal their message center identity to escorts. The same is true of their real names.

 

Speaking for myself...I'm inconsistent. I think I only 'reveal' my MC identity when I'm with an escort who posts here, at least occasionally. Otherwise, the issue never comes up.

[gcursor]

good faith

 

Primarily I do it seeker as a sign of "good faith" to people that I am going to see and show them that I am for real. I also do that to show them that I don't believe in playing "people mind games" and hope that they will also respect me in the same fashion.

 

 

I can remember, in the past, that some clients here said they preferred NOT to reveal their message center identity to escorts. The same is true of their real names.

 

Speaking for myself...I'm inconsistent. I think I only 'reveal' my MC identity when I'm with an escort who posts here, at least occasionally. Otherwise, the issue never comes up.

[seeker630]

Primarily I do it seeker as a sign of "good faith" to people that I am going to see and show them that I am for real. I also do that to show them that I don't believe in playing "people mind games" and hope that they will also respect me in the same fashion.

 

I can understand that & repect it, gcursor. Just wanted to point out that, like most things on this board, opinions & practices vary.