Having Sex with an Escort Who Knowingly Barebacks!!!!!!!!

[+ Axiom2001]

Yes, I know! This has been discussed endlessly at this forum, but I would like an update in order to make a wise decision! Here goes: Whenever I am involved with a man, I use condoms if I am on the "bottom bunk" for his and my pleasure, but when I suck his big cock, I always have never used a condom.

 

There is an escort in San Francisco who advertises on http://www.rentmen.com that he "barebacks." He even has vids up where he "fucks raw!"

 

I am interested in seeing this man, and would REQUIRE that he "used a glove" when I am "giving it up to him!" But what about sucking him without using a condom? Rimming without using a dental dam or a condom which has been cut?

 

Men, I would like your opinions on this! <I have NOT contacted him for an appointment although the interest is quite keen!!!>

[+ Lucky]

You are asking for opinions, not science. My opinion is that you are safe to suck or rim him. I would expect that if he is HIV positive that he would tell you.

But in the case of a guy who advertises barebacking, you should ask and make your own decision. You are the one who must live with any consequences, not us.

[Steven_Draker]

Hey, you asked the same question

 

in 2004 http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?40527

 

in 2010 http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?77954

 

and again earlier this year http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?78842

 

 

Are you looking for acquiescence from an anonymous Internet Message Board?

[jjkrkwood]

Hey, you asked the same question

 

in 2004 http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?40527

 

in 2010 http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?77954

 

and again earlier this year http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?78842

 

 

Are you looking for acquiescence from an anonymous Internet Message Board?[/color]

 

Steven, in all fairness to Ax, things can change medically in a matter of years, new research and data etc... I think he just needs a bit of reassurance, not what appears to be a scolding from you. However, I dont think any of us can offer reassurance, its a personal decision based on risk. The safest sex is nO sex, then comes protected sex. I am a card-carrying cocksuker/ rimmer, and have NEVER in all my years sucked a guy that was "wrapped" or ate an ass that was "covered"... To this day, thank GOD, I am 100% HIV-, and have had alot of anonymous sex, ALL Oral...

 

So I can only share my experience, but would never be so bold to offer anyone Advice on this matter...

[zeyfur]

Steven. That took a bit of digging. Good work !

 

To the OP As lucky says. Only you can take that decision.

[Steven_Draker]

I think that it would have been easier if Axiom tells us what kind of response he's looking for.

 

Reassurance?

 

If it's a PERSONAL decision based on risk why he keeps coming back with the same question over and over again?

[doitb4ugo]

I understand the hesitation...perhaps the answer has always been to not go through with it but he would really like to do it...hoping to get the go ahead.....to convince himself that it should be okay....

 

Iff you are careful, all should be fine.....Having HIV myself, I have found only a few guys who wont jump into bed with me....a good number now assume that as a poz guy, bareback is okay and they really want it....a few who bareback still clain to be HIV-. might be, might not be.

[+ Travis69]

I understand the hesitation...perhaps the answer has always been to not go through with it but he would really like to do it...hoping to get the go ahead.....to convince himself that it should be okay....

 

Iff you are careful, all should be fine.....Having HIV myself, I have found only a few guys who wont jump into bed with me....a good number now assume that as a poz guy, bareback is okay and they really want it....a few who bareback still clain to be HIV-. might be, might not be.

"they really want it" meaning they want to do bareback to you or you to them? Do they ask any questions like "are you on meds and what is your viral load?". My thought about any sexual activity is if you have to worry about it afterwards it isn't worth doing.

[Michael Wayne]

I have had dozens and dozens of medical doctor (md) clients over the years tell me the same thing: and I quote, "IF YOU COULD GET HIV BY SUCKING A DICK THEN HIV WOULD BE AS COMMON AS A COLD," The odds of transimission orally are tens of millions to one. Now, if you bottom without a rubber you are ASKING for trouble! I TOP with my magnum Xls and I have always taught young escorts to assume EVERY client is positive. Treat them with dignity and respect. I will say one more thing though: in all my years at the top of the biz I have only had 3 or 4 clients even ask me to wear a rubber to RECIEVE head. I refused because I don't feel a thing orally with a rubber and CANNOT stay hard...total turnoff. Anally though the condom does not impede my performance at all and actually helps me last. Just my two cents on the subject......

[+ Italiano]

I keep wondering what's the point of these questions over and over again...

Why freaking out when someone knows "officially" that he is going to have sex with a most probably or definitely positive man??

I think that nowadays having anonymous (paying or for free) sex should DEFINITELY mean that the occasional partner COULD be positive, and assume the precautions, responsabilities and risks which should be the same for any partner, known or not to be positive!

 

I cannot believe that not knowing the official status of the occasional partner could lead to less precautions than knowing that he is positive!

 

Come on guys!

[nate_sf]

The main concern I'd have with meeting an escort who actively barebacks as part of his repertoire would be getting STDs other than HIV - herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis. Personally I would not want to get any of those in my mouth.

[+ glutes]

Hey, you asked the same question

 

in 2004 http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?40527

 

in 2010 http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?77954

 

and again earlier this year http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?78842

 

 

Are you looking for acquiescence from an anonymous Internet Message Board?[/color]

 

Steven, well done! Perhaps ' Axiom Acquiesce'?

[seeker630]

The main concern I'd have with meeting an escort who actively barebacks as part of his repertoire would be getting STDs other than HIV - herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis. Personally I would not want to get any of those in my mouth.

 

Barebacking isn't required to catch those dieases. The escort can catch STDs from receiving oral.

[+ Travis69]

Herpes and HPV you can get from someone playing with their infected cock and reaching over and playing with yours or rubbing two cocks together.

[Guest Magnus]

I am a card-carrying cocksuker/ rimmer, and have NEVER in all my years sucked a guy that was "wrapped" or ate an ass that was "covered"... To this day, thank GOD, I am 100% HIV-, and have had alot of anonymous sex, ALL Oral...

 

So I can only share my experience, but would never be so bold to offer anyone Advice on this matter...

 

JJ, unfortunately HIV (and other common STDs) are not the only things that can be contracted from unprotected oral sex. There has been a spike in throat cancer, mostly in heterosexual men, which has been liked to oral sex with women who are infected with HPV, which causes cervical cancer in women. That's why the HPV vaccine is being recommended for boys now as well as girls (I think I just heard Michele Bachmann's head explode...) http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-10-03/oral-sex-may-cause-virus-linked-throat-cancer-in-men-study.html

[down_to_business]

If knowing that an escort barebacks and this causes you to be safe when you otherwise wouldn't... maybe its a good thing. Personally, I would like to believe that escorts (and any and all sex partners) would be knowledgable and forthright with their status, but the reality is some lie and many are oblivious.

[Gar1eth]

JJ, unfortunately HIV (and other common STDs) are not the only things that can be contracted from unprotected oral sex. There has been a spike in throat cancer, mostly in heterosexual men, which has been liked to oral sex with women who are infected with HPV, which causes cervical cancer in women. That's why the HPV vaccine is being recommended for boys now as well as girls (I think I just heard Michele Bachmann's head explode...) http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-10-03/oral-sex-may-cause-virus-linked-throat-cancer-in-men-study.html

 

In case anyone is interested, my doctor is gay and runs a practice with a gay focus. I just received my 1st of three Gardasil (HPV vaccine) shots yesterday.

 

Gman

[Lohengrin1979]

I keep wondering what's the point of these questions over and over again...

Why freaking out when someone knows "officially" that he is going to have sex with a most probably or definitely positive man??

I think that nowadays having anonymous (paying or for free) sex should DEFINITELY mean that the occasional partner COULD be positive, and assume the precautions, responsabilities and risks which should be the same for any partner, known or not to be positive!

 

I cannot believe that not knowing the official status of the occasional partner could lead to less precautions than knowing that he is positive!

 

Come on guys!

 

I agree with this 100%. I assume every partner has something I can catch and play safe. It's hard in the heat of the moment but I just can't risk it. I honestly couldn't even imagine having unprotected sex with a long standing partner. You just never know....

 

Lohengrin

[Dave]

Axiom2001, i didnt look through Draker’s links of what you had asked about in previous years, so i’m just going from your post on this thread only. you weren’t really clear as to what you are concerned with. i see a lot of people who worry about getting hiv but are not so wigged out about getting some other STI’s like gonorrhea or syphilis, because those can be easily treated.

 

on the other hand, things like herpes are for life. so before you work on what’s safe and what isn’t, i think you may want to make some decisions in terms of your own comfort for risk - with each particular STI.

 

with UNPROTECTED ORAL SEX, you can get gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes and hepatitis B. especially if you have a sore throat, a cold sore, or bleeding gums.

BUT you can also get gonorrhea even by touching someone... and you can get herpes or hep B with wrapped anal sex, or genital to genital contact (ie two wrapped dicks rubbing against each other)...

i have not seen one conclusive study that shows hiv transmission through oral sex, although the establisment likes to say that some very small risk of HIV exists. if anyone reading this knows of a study that PROVES that, please post your information here. i am always asking people in the medical profession about this, and NO ONE has been able to prove that it exists. i was at a sex worker’s convention in london last month and had this very discussion with medical people there and again, no one could prove HIV transmission thru unprotected oral.

 

with RIMMING, you can get hepatitis A, and other gastro-intestinal parasites like shigella and giardia. if you have a sore throat, open sores, or bleeding gums you can get herpes and syphilis.

BUT you can also get parasites if you finger someone’s ass or use anal sex toys, don’t wash your hands well, and trace gets into your mouth.

 

hiv is not found in shit.

 

<<< fun fact to know and tell - there are only FIVE body fluids which can transmit hiv. see if you know them by listing them out, now. the correct list of five fluids is at bottom of this post. >>>

 

HEY GUYS: i strongly recommend you get the hepatitis A and B vaccine; its a vaccination that IMO every man who plays with men should have. if you are embarrassed to ask your dr for it, tell him you’re going traveling abroad and may be in unclean conditions without modern plumbing, and you would feel better if you had the vaccine. he or she won’t think it odd at all. it’s a multi-dose vaccine... between the first and last dose of hep A vaccine i think you need 6 months; between the first and last dose of hep B vaccine i think you need 4 months. so if you do the travel excuse, be sure to say you will be travelling in about 7 or 8 months!

 

hope all this helps!

 

and oh yeah - - -

the five body fluids which can transmit HIV: blood, semen, pre-cum, breastmilk, vaginal fluid

[Guest Merlin]

Yes, always practice safer sex, but even so, sex is never completely safe. In my opinion, it is also best to avoid those known or believed to be positive. So yes, xafnndapp, knowing the official status, for some, means the added precaution of not hiring him.

If an escort advertises that he barebacks, he almost certainly is positive and, if not, soon will be. He probably intends it as a way to inform without announcing to the world that he is positive. I commend him for his honesty. It is more common for guys to advertise on rentboy, "sometimes safe", which seems to say that he will or at least that he has barebacked, and, again, is probably positive.

[+ Axiom2001]

I think that it would have been easier if Axiom tells us what kind of response he's looking for.

 

Reassurance?

 

If it's a PERSONAL decision based on risk why he keeps coming back with the same question over and over again? [/color]

 

Apparently, I was completely oblivious that I'd asked this question previously. Yesterday after I posted--I typed in "Barebacking," and up came some of the previous

posts. I also acknowledged what Lucky had written and sent the particular escort a discrete email in which I managed to ask him about his HIV status, something

which I might add was slightly difficult, but I did it.

 

Thanks for keeping me abreast of previous posts that I'd done. I now know and remember that the query has been asked and that I've received some cogent responses

from fellow readers and writers!

[+ Axiom2001]

I understand the hesitation...perhaps the answer has always been to not go through with it but he would really like to do it...hoping to get the go ahead.....to convince himself that it should be okay....

 

Iff you are careful, all should be fine.....Having HIV myself, I have found only a few guys who wont jump into bed with me....a good number now assume that as a poz guy, bareback is okay and they really want it....a few who bareback still clain to be HIV-. might be, might not be.

 

Thank you so very, very much! You assessed my dilemma precisely, and I truly appreciate your sincerity, honesty, and candor!!!!!!!

[+ Axiom2001]

Axiom2001, i didnt look through Draker’s links of what you had asked about in previous years, so i’m just going from your post on this thread only. you weren’t really clear as to what you are concerned with. i see a lot of people who worry about getting hiv but are not so wigged out about getting some other STI’s like gonorrhea or syphilis, because those can be easily treated.

 

on the other hand, things like herpes are for life. so before you work on what’s safe and what isn’t, i think you may want to make some decisions in terms of your own comfort for risk - with each particular STI.

 

with UNPROTECTED ORAL SEX, you can get gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes and hepatitis B. especially if you have a sore throat, a cold sore, or bleeding gums.

BUT you can also get gonorrhea even by touching someone... and you can get herpes or hep B with wrapped anal sex, or genital to genital contact (ie two wrapped dicks rubbing against each other)...

i have not seen one conclusive study that shows hiv transmission through oral sex, although the establisment likes to say that some very small risk of HIV exists. if anyone reading this knows of a study that PROVES that, please post your information here. i am always asking people in the medical profession about this, and NO ONE has been able to prove that it exists. i was at a sex worker’s convention in london last month and had this very discussion with medical people there and again, no one could prove HIV transmission thru unprotected oral.

 

with RIMMING, you can get hepatitis A, and other gastro-intestinal parasites like shigella and giardia. if you have a sore throat, open sores, or bleeding gums you can get herpes and syphilis.

BUT you can also get parasites if you finger someone’s ass or use anal sex toys, don’t wash your hands well, and trace gets into your mouth.

 

hiv is not found in shit.

 

<<< fun fact to know and tell - there are only FIVE body fluids which can transmit hiv. see if you know them by listing them out, now. the correct list of five fluids is at bottom of this post. >>>

 

HEY GUYS: i strongly recommend you get the hepatitis A and B vaccine; its a vaccination that IMO every man who plays with men should have. if you are embarrassed to ask your dr for it, tell him you’re going traveling abroad and may be in unclean conditions without modern plumbing, and you would feel better if you had the vaccine. he or she won’t think it odd at all. it’s a multi-dose vaccine... between the first and last dose of hep A vaccine i think you need 6 months; between the first and last dose of hep B vaccine i think you need 4 months. so if you do the travel excuse, be sure to say you will be travelling in about 7 or 8 months!

 

hope all this helps!

 

and oh yeah - - -

the five body fluids which can transmit HIV: blood, semen, pre-cum, breastmilk, vaginal fluid

 

I was concerned about my perhaps catching any sort of disease via sex, not necessarily HIV; I know the five body fluids which are transmittable. But thanks for your response anyway!!!!

[+ Axiom2001]

It is 6:01A in California and 11:01A in Rio de janeiro, the time that I have, unfortunately, been on for the past two weeks. But that is NOT why I am here and writing. I want to thank everyone who read and posted here.

I read each and every response with interest and appreciate the opinions and information cited. After I read the first post to my question/concern, I sent the escort of interest an email at his http://www.rentmen.com site and carefully cited my interest and concern. He possibly has not gone to his ad because to date he has not responded. I'll patiently wait.

 

If he does NOT respond back, then I will have to make a decision. Again, I thank you, and Steven, I WILL NOT post this question or a related one in the future!!

[orbital sander]

It is 6:01A in California and 11:01A in Rio de janeiro, the time that I have, unfortunately, been on for the past two weeks. But that is NOT why I am here and writing. I want to thank everyone who read and posted here.

I read each and every response with interest and appreciate the opinions and information cited. After I read the first post to my question/concern, I sent the escort of interest an email at his http://www.rentmen.com site and carefully cited my interest and concern. He possibly has not gone to his ad because to date he has not responded. I'll patiently wait.

 

If he does NOT respond back, then I will have to make a decision. Again, I thank you, and Steven, I WILL NOT post this question or a related one in the future!!

 

Best of luck to you in getting the information that you need for your comfort. I would guess that many do not ask questions at all due to the delicate nature of the discussion of STD's.