Clients as Friends

[zach_wilson]

How do fellow escorts feel after seeing a client for so long they start to become somewhat of friends as well as clients, personally I believe in trying to be a little personable with my clients as I am an escort however I recently have ran into a problem of one of my clients feeling hes more friend than client and gets upset when asking for me to come up as a friend for free and I simply say that the rate I have given is for time, and that he would still have to pay the overnight rate. A statement I dont find unreasonable. Has anyone else ran into this situation, if so how was it handled cause I am unsure of really how to approach this anymore. Also from a clients stand point, do you feel it is reasonable for him to ask for this? Look forward to reading everyones helpful responses

[Guest Merlin]

Who needs cheap friends? He is simply being cheap and I would say, stick to your guns. I have been regulars of several escorts, in excess of 10 years, and, while it lasted, I felt that we are/were friends, but I did not expect them to reduce their rate. I am not foolish enough to believe that we would still be friends if I did not pay.

[gcursor]

I talked about this very topic recently Zach as well. I think that it's great that you are trying to provide a more personal service with your clients. I also believe that most clients will understand the need of you requiring your standard fee as well. I am sure that your client understands all too well how these situations work.

[jjkrkwood]

How do fellow escorts feel after seeing a client for so long they start to become somewhat of friends as well as clients, personally I believe in trying to be a little personable with my clients as I am an escort however I recently have ran into a problem of one of my clients feeling hes more friend than client and gets upset when asking for me to come up as a friend for free and I simply say that the rate I have given is for time, and that he would still have to pay the overnight rate. A statement I dont find unreasonable. Has anyone else ran into this situation, if so how was it handled cause I am unsure of really how to approach this anymore. Also from a clients stand point, do you feel it is reasonable for him to ask for this? Look forward to reading everyones helpful responses

 

I guess the first thing to realize is that different people have different definitons of FRIENDSHIP. there are platonic friends, friends with benefits, fair weather friends, etc. I guess the assumption HERE is that since you are an escort, and a provider of sex, and if he is your FRIEND, then perhaps you should be sharing that with him ? You never really know what people have in their minds. As a non-escort I would think an honest dialog between the 2 of you would be needed once you see the relationship taking a different turn. If you have no interest in him as a FREEBIE fuck buddy, you need to tell him that, and set the record straight. If a non-sexual friendship develops afterwards which is mutually consensual, theres no harm done.

[Guest countryboywny]

I think most escorts need to be wary of clients wanting to be "friends". I think it's a clever path for the client to get it for free. I'm particularly close to two escorts and it's great, but I have told them both that I will never ask to see them without paying. I wouldn't befriend an auto dealer and expect him to give me a free car..

[seeker630]

How do fellow escorts feel after seeing a client for so long they start to become somewhat of friends as well as clients, personally I believe in trying to be a little personable with my clients as I am an escort however I recently have ran into a problem of one of my clients feeling hes more friend than client and gets upset when asking for me to come up as a friend for free and I simply say that the rate I have given is for time, and that he would still have to pay the overnight rate. A statement I dont find unreasonable. Has anyone else ran into this situation, if so how was it handled cause I am unsure of really how to approach this anymore. Also from a clients stand point, do you feel it is reasonable for him to ask for this? Look forward to reading everyones helpful responses

 

You don't say whether he expects sex if you come to visit for free? MOST of us do not have sex with our 'friends' (FWBs being rare, I think.)

 

One approach might be to tell him you have to work (i.e. be available for clients) and can't afford 'time off'.

[jjkrkwood]

You don't say whether he expects sex if you come to visit for free? MOST of us do not have sex with our 'friends' (FWBs being rare, I think.)

 

One approach might be to tell him you have to work (i.e. be available for clients) and can't afford 'time off'.

 

That should be everyones goal: find Pretty friends that you can have sex with.....

[Diverdan]

It does happen. I had such an experience several years ago with a wonderful guy. We became close friends, did a lot of things together, and eventually he changed his profession and moved on. He had been married and had a handsome son, but wanted to change careers before his son hit puberty. As JJ said, it wi wonderful to have friends with benefits !!!

[leigh.bess.toad]

I wouldn't befriend an auto dealer and expect him to give me a free car..

 

No, but that's not a bad idea. lol

 

Zach, I do think most of the guys here are right on the mark. I think I've become pretty good friends with quite a few of the guys I hire. We certainly have established friendships and communicate frequently outside of the hiring scenario. But I would NEVER think to ask to see them without paying them. To me, that's just tacky beyond all belief.

[down_to_business]

I think this a very serious issue. Escorts should not promote or lead a client to believe that they want to pursue friendship. They don't. That doesn't mean an escort can't be friendly, warm, cordial, or a host of other things- but a real friend, no. In many cases a client is very vulnerable to this. The client may not be used to having the attention of a young and/or attractive (etc) person who is being very nice to them for the hour/evening/whatever. This can easily be misconstrued. Some escorts push the idea of this because naturally they want to get hired again. It may even be intentional or unintentional. This is compounded further by the activity/nature of the interaction between escort and client.

 

This does not mean a true friendship can't blossom between an escort and a client, but if it does it usually means the relationship will be moving away from one of a sexual nature. You don't pay your friends for sex or basic companionship, period. And you should never expect your escort not to charge for companionship because in reality you are his client and not his friend.

[Bosguy]

My favorite guy and I had a special feeling for each other the first time we met a year ago and have remained personally close and in our escort/client relationship. We discussed boundaries and ways to professionally have our 2 relationships grow. We do special things together whether we meet at his residence, my residence, or an independent venue, but our bedroom escapades make this a client/escort relationship and, therefore his posted fee is paid without any discussion of discounts or special arrangements.

 

Because we discussed this in depth from the beginning, we respect our own personal lives and can enjoy each other totally when we are together.

 

Thanks Mr. R!!!!

 

 

Boston Bill

[nate_sf]

One approach might be to tell him you have to work (i.e. be available for clients) and can't afford 'time off'.

 

If you were to decide you were going to be friends with this guy instead of client/escort, this would be an issue. I have friends who I would really like to spend more time with, but only end up seeing them once every month or so. However I have regular clients who I see much more frequently than some of my friends. You can make time to see friends, but your friends need to understand that you need to be available for clients often at the same times they'd want to be spending time with you.

[zach_wilson]

Thanks so much everyone for responding, it was as I had thought but seeing as how he feels Im in the wrong I wanted a second opinion and to answer an earlier question he does think sex should be involved,atleast he thinks he should be able to kiss and cuddle and what not still. Which as many of you have stated is him trying to "befriend the car dealer to get a free car" Thanks so much

[jjkrkwood]

Thanks so much everyone for responding, it was as I had thought but seeing as how he feels Im in the wrong I wanted a second opinion and to answer an earlier question he does think sex should be involved,atleast he thinks he should be able to kiss and cuddle and what not still. Which as many of you have stated is him trying to "befriend the car dealer to get a free car" Thanks so much

 

Hey Zach, I've been baking cookies for my landlord for years and sending Birthday cards, but he still makes me pay my rent......

[Guest countryboywny]

Hey Zach, I've been baking cookies for my landlord for years and sending Birthday cards, but he still makes me pay my rent......

 

LOL.. good one!

[robberbaron4u]

You have stated, succinctly, the how and the why and the wheretofore of the matter, and, I am in complete agreement with you.

[bigvalboy]

Zach I think good and frank communication is the key here, I knew an escort once that I fell in love with..Sex was amazing. I wrongly assumed that it had gone beyond escort/client relationship, and was something very different than it actually was. One occasion after we had sex I took him to dinner, I paid the tab of course, but when he went to leave I wasn't going to pay for our time together, becasue I assumed it was a mutual feeling and understanding. He sat me down and had a very straight forward conversation with me. Bascially saying that he loved our time together and loved being with me as long as I undestood what was really going on. He was a paid escort and that he needed to be paid for our time together. I was embarrassed because I assumed too much, however his frankness helped and stopped what could have been a painful confrontation down the line.

[robberbaron4u]

Upon reflection, I daresay a question that should be put to Lord Brown of Madingley who, by published report, would have "first hand" experience in the matter.

[Damascene]

I've been friendly with escorts I see. Some have blossom into true friendships. One of my closest friends is someone I use to hire. It takes knowing boundaries and sometimes went when to hold fast and when to let go. The last part can be the hardest.

[RexAll]

I am surprised by the answers here. It seems so simple to me. You don't charge true friends for sex. If two friends want to have sex, it should be because they want to, are mutually horny, want to comfort one another, etc. I am not saying you can't be fond of the guy. But sex is too important. It's not like paying for rent, buying a car, receiving mail. It's a primal human need. A true friend wouldn't charge for sex. I think your client is getting his boundaries confused. I had to pretty much stop seeing an escort because I wanted him for a friend. I never asked him for uncompensated time- but it began to bother me to see him. I am reasonably sure he liked me ok-but he had no desire to make me part of his circle of friends.

 

Rex

[maxwellissmart]

Well shit—I had this great post typed out and hit submit and the stupid board logged me out. Anyway...

 

Zach, keep in mind there are two types of guys who want to be friends in the escorting world.

 

One, there are truly nice guys who want nothing other than your friendship. They value you as a person, they don't judge what you do (in fact, sometimes they celebrate it and can laugh about the absurdity of it with you), they offer you advice, they won't try to force your friendship, they give you your personal space and they want to see you succeed in life. I've met one of these guys.

 

Two, there are guys who want to pretend they are nice—but they really aren't. They will try to guilt you into making decisions that are more about their needs than about yours. They butt into your privacy. They demand and they force. Ultimately, you end up having to do damage control with these guys because you've revealed too much, and they can hurt you.

 

Whatever you decide to do—be very careful, and weigh the risks.

[maxwellissmart]

One thing I wanted to add about the "not-so-nice" type is that I've made this mistake repeatedly and it always ends up being about money. One friend locked himself into a preferred rate because we were "friends" and then would whine if I didn't call him every day for at least an hour. One tried to get me to fly to see him for free. Another would try to give me jewelry in exchange for escort time. The worst was the guy with whom I spent hours texting before our weekend in LA together getting to know, and who told me how special a person I was as he put me into a taxi and gave me an envelope stuffed with cash. "He's such a good friend," I thought—as I opened the envelope and discovered the bills were all ones. Twenty of them—which paid for about half the cab fare to the airport. It actually cost me money to come see him—and when I confronted him later and asked for my money he responded by saying: "well I guess we're just not good friends like I thought we were."

[+ purplekow]

Maxwell that was not so smart. The old money in an envelop turns out to be less than expected. When i give funds to an escort, i am not shy about doing so and encourage him to count it there and then. After all, there is no secret that money is being exchanged. It is the nature of the encounter and i am comfortable with that and hope the escort is too. I will sometimes pay an escort by check and usually will add a small extra sum to pay for his inconvenience and risk. One escort i saw wanted to be paid cash rather then a check. He had an extensive tour of the area, he decided he had too much cash and went to Fed Ex Money home. He put about $5000 in cash in the Fed Ex envelop and when it got to his home there was $0 in it. He took a check the next time we were together. Now I am not suggesting that escorts regularly take checks, the likelihood of being scammed with a check is so much greater. My advice is know the kind of person with whom you are dealing. The old expression, in God We Trust, all others pay cash should add the proviso and We Count It in Front of you.

I hope you were able to recoup your money from the sleazeball client or at the least, I hope you were able to make his life miserable to the extent of your loss and beyond. Don't Get Mad Get Even was my family motto. My last name has several vowels in it, especially near the end.

[maxwellissmart]

Maxwell that was not so smart.

 

I know, right? I was a wee lass at the time and not schooled in the ways of being a professional slut. Now I would cut a bitch and end up like Harlow.

[gallahadesquire]

A slightly different slant:

 

I have a younger escort who has especial properties that I find enticing. One in particular is his amazing intelligence - literary, not scientific. [That' my perviue]. I'd love to take him out to dinner and maybe for drinks [there's an interesting Drinks bar in Boston I'd like to try] but not for an overnight, and basically just for the price of the dinner and drinks. We've been together several times, and developed a kind of overnight routine: Dinner - movie (at my house) - yadda, yadda, yadda, - breakfast and more yadda, yadda, yadda. The latest one was a musical / dinner / hotel for yadda yadda yadda / ... and wound up being like three overnights for what it cost me.

 

So: Am I rude for asking him if he'd just like to get together for dinner and drinks, off the clock? (He did the musical off the clock). How rude would this be?

 

As an aside: I have a feeling he's in to me, too .... but I could be deceiving myself.

 

Thanks!