Nursing emails....and assuming change of heart

[Mocha]

Does anyone ever get the impression that they have to be glued to their computer and email 24/7?

 

I was emailed the other day, and exchanged about 3 emails with someone who was wanting to book. On my last email I stated that the time frame he mentioned would be fine with me and that my schedule was open for that day and time. He then responded that it'd be between such and such time.

 

I read the email, however I was just so busy past couple days picking out furniture for my incall place, Drs. appointments and daily stuff that it slipped to respond back to the email. I have 4 email accounts!

 

Anyhow, fast forward this morning I send him a confirmation email just touching base with him. But then he says he thought I had something come up or changed my mind and that we'd have to reschedule. He was polite to let me know the days he would, be nevertheless I was annoyed.

 

My biggest pet peeve: an unanswered email (after having exchange 2 or 3) is often times miscontrued as a disinterest or change of plans. I know it seems like partly irresponsible on my part not to respond back to the email, but whenever I send out emails I also send out my phone number and ad they responded to. So it's not like I cannot be contacted outside of my email. Even in my personal life, I have to tell people all the time; don't assume anything. Just ask. Unless I say otherwise...

 

How do you feel about standing around for emails, or if you're a client...do you assume unanswered emails = disinterest?

[Steven_Draker]

Unanswered email = disinterest (most likely) or original email may have ended in their spam folder. You may follow up with a phone call.

[josephga]

had emails go to spam folders and not see them for weeks. I started putting in my massage ads it's best to call due to emails ending up in filters. I had a guy email me this morning from masseur finder he mailed me at 7;41 am. it showed up on my iphone 2 hrs later. He had emailed 3 people and I was the first to contact him and took him. I rarely check emails they just don't turn into appointments like phone calls and text messages do. 9 out of 10 don't send a phone number or won't contact you back after you request a number to finalize the appointment.

[gcursor]

My side of the problem

 

Well Mocha:

 

Here goes my reputation (hopefully people will realize how hard of a post this was to write and not burn the post too harshly). Also I didn't write this post seeking sympathy or anything (I really don't like people knowing anything about my private life but I feel this might be of use to you in this situation). However I write this post in the hopes that you can see another side of the client's viewpoint (admittedly it won't be the same with everybody however). It is important to note however that people are people and we all have our own hangups.

 

As I've said before, I hire for long amounts of time (rarely short appointments). It was that way this year and last year as well. The people that I have hired who know me well enough will not be shocked or stunned by what I say as I have mentioned it to them in passing once or twice. Quite simply put, I have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).

 

My OCD is brought on by severe stress which I have learned to manage. However last year was a terrible year for me as a close family member died as I was getting over a severe anxiety attack. Literally this put crushing pressure upon me at a time when I could least accept it. I stopped seeing escorts during that period of time (about six months) and then resumed early this year once again.

 

Now I don't say that I have OCD as an excuse for me or my behavior because I learn to cope with it on most days. But when I write to somebody then I do like to know that the appointment is set up and the date/time. Once I'm assured of that date/time and that it won't change then typically I settle down. That is also why many of my dates are set up with a certain loose schedule to do things. I try to alleviate as much of the stress as I possibly can. I just want the person I'm with to have as enjoyable a time with me as possible so I work to make it that way.

 

Now if I don't hear back from a person after a day or a week or (recently I got an email back from somebody after a month) longer then I start to wonder if I should make other plans? Remember that this is kind of the major league of escorting and typically it's a good deal of time and other things that's being invested by both parties. So yes....I do sometimes tend to overthink things and get a bit edgy if I haven't heard from somebody.

 

Am I working on it? Sure! That guy that wrote me back after a month? I had given up on him long ago. Considering the fact that I recently lost my job (of many years), I might have some excess time now and then so it might get a bit tough when I don't get responses. As I said, I try to work around that through various techniques but like I said..this is my side of your problem.

 

Gcursor

 

 

Does anyone ever get the impression that they have to be glued to their computer and email 24/7?

 

I was emailed the other day, and exchanged about 3 emails with someone who was wanting to book. On my last email I stated that the time frame he mentioned would be fine with me and that my schedule was open for that day and time. He then responded that it'd be between such and such time.

 

I read the email, however I was just so busy past couple days picking out furniture for my incall place, Drs. appointments and daily stuff that it slipped to respond back to the email. I have 4 email accounts!

 

Anyhow, fast forward this morning I send him a confirmation email just touching base with him. But then he says he thought I had something come up or changed my mind and that we'd have to reschedule. He was polite to let me know the days he would, be nevertheless I was annoyed.

 

My biggest pet peeve: an unanswered email (after having exchange 2 or 3) is often times miscontrued as a disinterest or change of plans. I know it seems like partly irresponsible on my part not to respond back to the email, but whenever I send out emails I also send out my phone number and ad they responded to. So it's not like I cannot be contacted outside of my email. Even in my personal life, I have to tell people all the time; don't assume anything. Just ask. Unless I say otherwise...

 

How do you feel about standing around for emails, or if you're a client...do you assume unanswered emails = disinterest?

[josephga]

I've even had a few emails I couldn't return like moments ago they bounced back because the person used the form on massage m4m and spelled something wrong in their email address

[Mocha]

Now if I don't hear back from a person after a day or a week or (recently I got an email back from somebody after a month) longer then I start to wonder if I should make other plans? Remember that this is kind of the major league of escorting and typically it's a good deal of time and other things that's being invested by both parties. So yes....I do sometimes tend to overthink things and get a bit edgy if I haven't heard from somebody.

 

Well the thing is, email isn't always an instant answer and of course you don't receive an instant answer either.

 

I just feel that if the last thing I said was anything along the lines of, "yes we're on, or yes my schedule is open for that time", then it should be assumed that nothing has changed and if it did...I would have emailed back that it did.

 

Sometimes I get a little ADD myself trying to man 4 email accounts at once, but I usually try to get back if something comes up. Had that person picked up the phone and called me, or at the very least sent a text...then that would have given a greater chance of getting a response.

 

But just to assume, "oh you didn't respond, guess you weren't interested" seems to me that...no, actually YOU just weren't that interested.

 

I just hate feeling like I have to constantly be at the mercy of my email and computer. Don't get me wrong, most days I'm diligent and obsessive about checking emails...but on an odd week when it's time to redecorate the house, email gets checked once per day.

[seeker630]

Without knowing exactly what was said in the emails, it's difficult to decide if the client was justified in his assumptions. I tend to feel that IF you clearly agreed to the SPECIFIC time, he shouldn't have changed plans without checking with you.

 

When I make plans with a guy in advance, I'll send an email the day or morning before just to confirm we're still on, since things DO come up sometimes.

 

Just today i made plans via email for a midnight appointment tonight. The last email from the escort at noon said the time was ok. I then sent my hotel & phonr information. There was no further response, so around 6 pm I sent him an email saying I'd be out from 7-11 and asked him to confirm he was still coming. At 7 he emailed me that he couldn't make it tonight becuase he had been fighting off the flu. I have no idea if he would have bothered to tell me if I hadn't sent that email asking for confirmation.

[jjkrkwood]

Answering email, for me, is more of a respect/etiquette thing. Its polite, civil and gets the job done. Unanswered email for me equates to disinterest. Answering email today takes no time at all. Certainly someone, especially a "professional" who's email could turn into "dollars" can find the time to shoot off a reply, and the NO response should be considered an answer in itself....

At least thats how JJ sees it !

[+ Shoreboy]

Sorry Mocha but if I was the client that you mentioned I too would consider your non response a cancelation or a blowing me off...maybe 4 email accounts are too many to maintain profesionalism?

 

I am a person who will email an escort first and yet I am not the kind of person that sits and waits for an instaneous reply...but when at least 48 hours passes by and no reply, I move on.

 

You were lucky your client offered you some additional dates to reschedule...I would not have done that.

 

My gentle advice for you...and please know it is sincerely gentle....keep tabs on your four accounts since your income depends on it and answering emails in a timely manner is indeed a high sign of professionalism.

[jgoo]

One reason a problem can often arise when there are different expectations as to what may be a reasonable time to respond to an email. Some people may act on the basis of responding within 24 hours being acceptable while others may feel a different length is fine. I tend to believe that during a period of making and finalizing arrangements, getting a reply within a day or so is a reasonable expectation but once things are set then some leeway should be allowed to extend that time frame.

 

Another possible reason for problems to arise is if the most recent email is not clear to the receiver that he needs to respond sooner than later. I had an experience where an escort canceled our meeting because I did not respond to his last email within 4 days. I felt the email was not raising anything that needed a response, let alone one within a day or so (it was just an email from him saying he was looking forward to his visit). I intended to respond but when time permitted however my lack of reply was interpreted by him by a lack of continued interest in meeting so he canceled.

 

Still another possible reason is when the correspondence follows a pattern where replies are sent within a certain time frame but then suddenly the last email does not get a response after a much greater period than was set up as the expectation for receiving a reply.

 

In all cases, I believe the best thing is for the person wondering why he hasn't gotten a response is to follow up with another email or to contact by another method provided to clarify the situation. In my case with the escort who canceled, I was a bit irritated by his attitude because frankly I thought he could have made the effort to followup (I had provided a contact phone number as well).

[jjkrkwood]

. In my case with the escort who canceled, I was a bit irritated by his attitude because frankly I thought he could have made the effort to followup (I had provided a contact phone number as well).

 

I think the last line of your post sums up the situation in a nutshell. "They just dont care enuf to MAKE the effort". Move On.

[Guest countryboywny]

Sorry Mocha but if I was the client that you mentioned I too would consider your non response a cancelation or a blowing me off...maybe 4 email accounts are too many to maintain profesionalism?

 

I am a person who will email an escort first and yet I am not the kind of person that sits and waits for an instaneous reply...but when at least 48 hours passes by and no reply, I move on.

 

You were lucky your client offered you some additional dates to reschedule...I would not have done that.

 

My gentle advice for you...and please know it is sincerely gentle....keep tabs on your four accounts since your income depends on it and answering emails in a timely manner is indeed a high sign of professionalism.

 

Couldn't have said it better myself.

[+ overeasy]

When communications are relied on through email, unless everything is confirmed and nailed down, I think the only assumption you should make is that all is not settled and should be followed up on. Mocha, it all goes back to the tried-and-true adage that customer service is not what the provider may think it is...it's what the customer thinks it is. Your responses should be made from their point of view. I'm with Shoreboy on this one...

[Bart]

I am not OCD but I will tend to be on G's side in that if we are having on going dialogue I would expect a response of some sort in 24-48 hrs. I also know you have other clients. If you are going to be indisposed for extended period 24 hrs or more, I would hope your "Unavailable response " would pop in and that would let clients know you are most likely with a client. If not past experience says if you do not respond in 24-48 hours you are not going to get back to me or you feel my time is not valuable enough for you to care about.

I recently had an ongoing conversation with gentlemen this past summer for an extended outing, both with solid reviews. One in LA and one in NY. The NY gentleman, I had also talked with on the phone. Both I gave the date I would email with a specifics for the trip which would be 10 days later and both agreed. I did for both exactly as I said. One never bothered to respond, the other responded 3 days later and said "I am tied up at the moment with Gay Pride in NY, but I will get back to you the following Tuesday." In both cases neither ever had the courtesy to get back to me. So while you may feel irritated it was your inconsideration that caused the prospective client to rethink just how serious you were. As in most of the cases like this it is a two way street and I think both parties need to think of the other person involved.

[SteveEscort]

I hated email for years, the reason being is that it's as slow as the snail mail at times because it requires you to be logged in to pick it up. I used to get phone calls from clients asking why I'd not got back to them about an afternoon appointment. They'd emailed, say 10am, and expected a reply and complained by phone at 11am. Ahem, wait a minute, I am not in front of the bloody laptop all day. I do have other clients, I do have to do grocery shopping sometimes you know.

 

However......................................................iPhone took all this hassle away from me. I have all of my email accounts on gmail now. I have 6, so having 4 isn't something to have a go at him about. I have my steve account, I have a stevetour account for London and UK tour enquiries (it helps me narrow down who wants an appointment today in Newcastle and who fancies an overnight in London next week). I have a private email for friends, I have one for my local vegetarian society list, I have one for my other part time job and I have one which is just for spammy crap, i.e. when you sign up for an offer code, or buy something online, it keeps the crap away from my important email accounts.

 

Having an iPhone changed my view of email. I get them every 15 minutes, sent straight to my phone with a copy online to look at when i get home. They're as quick as a text now but before I got an iPhone I found them a drag at times and you'd guarantee that the morning I'd forget to check them because of a million and one things going on in my life would be the one day I'd get an overnight by email for that evening in Newcastle and I'd miss it.

[zeyfur]

Personally for me it depends on how horny I am. If I want some action within 24 hours I always phone. If I am planning a meeting say in a weeks time I tend to e mail as it gives us both enough time and space to ask all the questions we want to .

[bobchitown]

Here's a typical exchange :

 

C to E: ask for time, possibly vague, as in "are you free this Friday or Saturday evening? .

6

E to C: I'm busy Friday, but Saturday is fine, how about 8 or 9ish.

 

C to E: great, let's do 9.

 

E to C: see your then.

 

...

 

Day of appointment : E to C, often by text. Confirming that the appointment is still on.

 

C to E: see you tonight.

 

Really quite simple, but seldom works this way.