I Got Burned!

[RockHard]

I offer a prospective "hire" luncheon at my expense at the restaurant of his choice.

Sounds good for trying to woo Matt Damon to say yes to your script but for hiring an escort, I don't think so. My time is precious and I hate eating with someone I don't know or enjoy. I'd rather get scammed for sex.

 

The escort deserves NOTHING if he truly did misrepresent himself.

The problem here is misrepresentation is ALWAYS in the eyes of the beholder.

 

I think some gay men have proven how unreasonable they are by expecting a human being to look exactly as they do in a photograph. It's like comparing a paint chip on paper to a color swatch on your i-Phone. They'll never match. I know too much about photography to know how a great, glass lens affects reality. It is often said, models, even with no make-up, look nothing in person like they do in their photos. Same is said about many actors. The camera loves some faces and bodies while others, not so much. Obviously, a 40-pound weight gain is not what I'm talking about here.

 

(Btw, answering in bold is really annoying.)

[jjkrkwood]

 

(Btw, answering in bold is really annoying.)

 

Since yours was the only complaint, ill tend to ignore it, since the process was used for emphasis.

[Scorpio]

I'm sorry your experience was less than stellar. If he truly looked nothing like his pics, then perhaps you should have just left. And you should definitely write a review don't be intimidated by his idol threats. However, before you do, just reassess the situation and make sure it truly as awful as you describe. Make sure that your expectations weren't too high since you've been on the quest for that elusive "smokin hot nyc escort" for months now and no one in all that time measured up until the guy.

 

http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?78353-I-am-still-looking-in-nyc&p=695398#post695398

[josephga]

I don't recall reading anywhere that the escort made any threats regarding the chance of a bad review. I think the poster just assumes he might..

[whipped guy]

This is a valid point... but!

 

...And you should definitely write a review don't be intimidated by his idol threats. However, before you do, just reassess the situation and make sure it truly as awful as you describe. Make sure that your expectations weren't too high...

I think we all tend to blame ourselves when thing don't initially proceed as thought out in our fantasies. With my bad experience I initially believed that it might have been my frame of mind, my expectations being too high... and hence I did not submit a review. It was only months later when I saw that the working guy was being discussed here in a bad light (gee he did the exact same thing to me) that I realized that it was totally his fault and not my frame of mind at all! Incidentally the guy had some good reviews and was on the buddy list of a favorite at the time... so I guess he was quite the piece of work and was able to fool some of the people some of the time, but ultimately not all of the people... etc... as the saying goes. Incidentally, reviews subsequent to his being "outed" were most likely of the "submitted by the worker himself" variety... go figure!

 

In any event, as noted above it has always been a regret that I did not submit a timely review as it could have save more than a few others quite a bit of hard earned cash.

[josephga]

Another thing the escort won't know who wrote the review. They see a number of guys a week as far he is concerned anyone could have wrote it

[robberbaron4u]

The rentboy scenario is a leisure activity, and, in my opinion, it should be pursured as such which I do. My "routine", if you will, has, in the past, saved me from wasting time and money on the proverbial "mule in a horse's collar".

[robberbaron4u]

You have stated the matter succintly: "Time is precious". I would prefer a tedious luncheon to suffering a bore between the sheets on any day. Dining with someone you don't know or enjoy can serve to amuse: some years ago, I stood a promising rentboy.to luncheon at the restaurant of his choice, the grill of a Ritz-Carlton hotel; in the course of drinks before luncheon, I noted a marked degree of pretention in him, and, seated at table he ordered, as a measure of his culinary expertise, the most expensive item from a menu he could not decipher. The dishwas brought to the table, and, watching him gingerly explore the tenacles of his baked squid with a fork was a hoot as he had not a clue as to what it was or how to eat it. I did instruct him to send it back to the kitchen for another dish which did undertake to do. And, having spent a hour in his coming, I decided that he was much ado about nothing, and, I sent him on his way.

[jackcali]

This may sound harsh but I'm a firm believer in tough love: How about growing a pair of balls? You are a man, aren't you?

 

Jeez, RockHard, it sounds like you had two bowls of Wheaties this morning, but right on!! I spent most of my life cowering in fear of violence or of making a scene but have improved my fitness and learned some fighting skills, and now feel much more confident in these situations than I did before.

 

Also, when I hire non-pros or semi-pros, off of Craigslist or otherwise, I like the pre-interview over a cup of coffee. I tend to be looking for regulars and not one-off hires, and I explain this to the prospects, and if they're not willing to take the first step to what could easily be a few thousand dollar income stream for them over the next several months, then I know that either they are a scammer (they're not what they described in their ad) or they're too inexperienced or irresponsible or just too stupid to understand what I'm offering and what I'm looking for. At the same time, it's an opportunity for them to decide whether I'm what I describe myself to be.

[12is12]

RockHard, my SOP - agreeing in advance that if it's a misfit from the start there'd be no monetary transaction - isn't an ultimatum. It's not like I'm threatening my interlocutor. When everything is settled, I say something like: "I'm sorry to bring this up, but you know there're sometimes problems in this business. When we meet, if there's something I don't like, I'll leave with no money paid. Is that ok with you?" A few answer negatively, and we say goodbye politely. The vast majority is ok with it, and the even vaster majority afterwards don't disappoint.

 

Everybody on this site always write that coordinating expectations in advance is crucial. That's what I do, and that's what I reccommend.

[leigh.bess.toad]

DD,

 

Do you really think that your the only one that he has done this to? Do the review and we'll let him come try to intimitate me! Hint: I'm a 2nd Admendment Rights Advocate and in the correct lightning count as a bear.

 

Correct lighting? You are a bear. Of a man. And I sure as hell wouldn't want to cross swords with you. That loser would be going into a gun battle with a pea shooter.

 

That's one thing I really respect about you the most Daddy is that you look after your boys. When an escort is dealing with an unpleasant situation (such as a stalker) you step in to proect them as much as you can. And when the client's get ripped off, you step in on our behalf. So thank you for being there. For all of us.

[leigh.bess.toad]

DDan -- As others have said, we've all been there, newbies, first-timers. Some more recent than others. I've been hiring only for about 8 or 9 months and I remember the nervousness and worry about that first hire. And this was with a very well reviewed guy. At the time of that hire I was deeply in the closest too. Of course I was dying to burst out of the closet and have. But at that time a threat of reprisal certainly would have given me great pause.

 

That being said, and as almost everyone has agreed, write the review. Members of the forum have already caused one scam artist no end of grief (paging Scott Sloan). And trust me, as I posted above, don't underestimate Daddy either.

 

After you get your bearings again, don't be afraid to hire. Especially in NYC there are many high quality, great guys out there who will give you the experience you want. And rely on the forum members. This is a great community of guys who really seem to go out of their way to help the newbies try to find that one right guy for a first time experience. Just look at the number of responses you've gotten to your post from some very experienced hands.

 

I'm really sorry you had this horrible experience. It is a rarity and for it to have been your first time is even worse. But make something good come out of it. Expose this fraud. And get back up on the horse again as soon as you are able. You will find that one right guy for that first time. And it will be worth it. Good luck.

[RockHard]

communication

 

agreeing in advance that if it's a misfit from the start there'd be no monetary transaction - isn't an ultimatum. It's not like I'm threatening my interlocutor.

The way I see it, you are threatening the escort, with an in-his-face judgment call. I happen to think there are kinder ways to reject another guy. After all, nobody really enjoys being rejected. Furthermore, I like incentives. Money motivates and $20 for a 2-minute peek-n-see is a good deal for both sides. If you can get someone to meet you after saying to him, "When we meet, if there's something I don't like, I'll leave with no money paid.," then more power to you. If I were a hot escort, I'd probably be too lazy and too diva-ish to give you the time of day with that approach.

 

Dining with someone you don't know or enjoy can serve to amuse

I have plenty of amusement in my life. I'll pass on the dinner interview.

 

I noted a marked degree of pretention in him, and, seated at table he ordered, as a measure of his culinary expertise, the most expensive item from a menu he could not decipher.

I cannot spend time with low-rent street urchins. I find uneducated escorts a real turn-off. I'm not interested in a match of I.Q.'s and I don't need to see a college degree but I have little patience for uncultured, unsophisticated men. I don't care how pretty they are. You, clearly, find that scenario entertaining. I'd have to take a gun to my head.

 

I spent most of my life cowering in fear of violence or of making a scene but have improved my fitness and learned some fighting skills, and now feel much more confident in these situations than I did before.

And I was a fat child in the 60's and went to an all-boy college-prep school that glorified football players. Honey, have I got stories...

 

I explain this to the prospects, and if they're not willing to take the first step to what could easily be a few thousand dollar income stream for them over the next several months, then I know that either they are a scammer (they're not what they described in their ad) or they're too inexperienced or irresponsible or just too stupid to understand what I'm offering and what I'm looking for.

Couldn't agree more. Granted, some men have poor communication skills. And some escorts really are door-knob dumb. There is no fool-proof method to secure a winner. But I enjoy being honest and upfront. I enjoy treating people with respect and giving them the benefit of any doubt. And I enjoy providing incentive. This works for me. I also love the art of seduction, so the dance, if someone is willing, matters to me.