I Got Burned!

[dfermer]

Well guys, it happened to me. My first experience was a disaster. I'm embarrassed to say I got scammed. I am pretty ticked off about it too.

 

To make a long story short, im in NYC the guy sent me hot pics, I did a search on here and his name never came up. I have been wanting to do this for so long that I figured I am just gonna jump right in, it seemed fine, he didnt sound crazy over the phone, i had no legitimate reason to be concerned. And when i met him face to face I wanted to run, he was NOTHING LIKE HIS PIKS!! I just didn't know what to do. I had no choice I had to pay him. What a waste. I wasnt even "excited" and left after 20 minutes. I would love to publicize who he is but honestly, I am afraid of reprisal. I am totally closeted and he said in no uncertain terms "he wouldn't want anyone to find out about this, because it wouldn't be good for me" I feel betrayed and cheated and pissed off! He has my phone number. And on top of that, the whole fantasy I had planned came to a crashing, burning hault.

 

Thanks for letting me vent,

DDan

[Gar1eth]

Well guys, it happened to me. My first experience was a disaster. I'm embarrassed to say I got scammed. I am pretty ticked off about it too.

 

To make a long story short, im in NYC the guy sent me hot pics, I did a search on here and his name never came up. I have been wanting to do this for so long that I figured I am just gonna jump right in, it seemed fine, he didnt sound crazy over the phone, i had no legitimate reason to be concerned. And when i met him face to face I wanted to run, he was NOTHING LIKE HIS PIKS!! I just didn't know what to do. I had no choice I had to pay him. What a waste. I wasnt even "excited" and left after 20 minutes. I would love to publicize who he is but honestly, I am afraid of reprisal. I am totally closeted and he said in no uncertain terms "he wouldn't want anyone to find out about this, because it wouldn't be good for me" I feel betrayed and cheated and pissed off! He has my phone number. And on top of that, the whole fantasy I had planned came to a crashing, burning hault.

 

Thanks for letting me vent,

DDan

 

Ddan,

 

Don't feel too bad. It's happened to a lot of us occasionally even with reviewed guys. My first time I was lucky. There werent a lot of reviewed guys where I lived, but lo and behold, a guy whose website I had admired for several years was traveling in the area, and he had stellar reviews. He was very understanding of it being my 1st time But if I may make a suggestion-- if you decide to try it again-- use a well reviewed guy, and possibly ask us here on the Forum for advice if you think our tastes run parallel to yours.

 

Gman

[Rhinestone Cowboy]

What an asshole...and to try and threaten you as well! I wouldn't lose sleep over any potential reprisals -- he got his money, and he's probably moving on to his next target. Let it go. Have a cocktail. Smoke a joint. Lick your wounds and get back on the horse. Gman's suggestions are right on target, and this is the best place to learn who are the well reviewed escorts and get thoughts and suggestions in advance of making the call. But by all means, don't let your experience tonight kill your fantasies -- you deserve to have a great experience and you absolutely CAN have one and you'll have a great time when you do the research and use this forum to ask questions in advance -- it's kind of the primary purpose of this whole website -- to help guide people to the best experience. There are a lot of fantastic men working in this business here in NYC; I would think you'd be able to find a real pro who can give you what you want and, just as important as sexual fulfillment, will also make you feel safe, comfortable, relaxed and totally discreet. Try again soon -- you'll have a much better experience next time I'm sure.

[Guy Fawkes]

DD,

 

Do you really think that your the only one that he has done this to? Do the review and we'll let him come try to intimitate me! Hint: I'm a 2nd Admendment Rights Advocate and in the correct lightning count as a bear.

 

Well guys, it happened to me. My first experience was a disaster. I'm embarrassed to say I got scammed. I am pretty ticked off about it too.

 

To make a long story short, im in NYC the guy sent me hot pics, I did a search on here and his name never came up. I have been wanting to do this for so long that I figured I am just gonna jump right in, it seemed fine, he didnt sound crazy over the phone, i had no legitimate reason to be concerned. And when i met him face to face I wanted to run, he was NOTHING LIKE HIS PIKS!! I just didn't know what to do. I had no choice I had to pay him. What a waste. I wasnt even "excited" and left after 20 minutes. I would love to publicize who he is but honestly, I am afraid of reprisal. I am totally closeted and he said in no uncertain terms "he wouldn't want anyone to find out about this, because it wouldn't be good for me" I feel betrayed and cheated and pissed off! He has my phone number. And on top of that, the whole fantasy I had planned came to a crashing, burning hault.

 

Thanks for letting me vent,

DDan

[whipped guy]

dfermer... I was lucky that I had quite a number of great experiences before getting burned... but eventually I did get burned. In fact as a lurker I read that others had gotten burned by the same individual... and that's what gave me the incentive to officially join this community way back when... Consequently my first post was a long rant (read vent) about how I was taken in by a scam artist. If you get the courage... and feel comfortable don't be afraid to "out" him... but that is your choice. As for myself I have regretted not submitting a formal review, but did all in my power to alert others via this forum. In addition, as far as feeling "betrayed and cheated and pissed off!" That's exactly how we all feel when something like this happens... and that's what we guys are here for... support... so vent away. Also, I second Gman's advice... go for a well-reviewed guy... and don't be afraid to ask for advice. That's another reason that we are here... So hop back onto the saddle, sit tall, and ride off to what will certainly prove to be a much better and enhanced adventure!

[JT Brooklyn]

Well guys, it happened to me. My first experience was a disaster. I'm embarrassed to say I got scammed. I am pretty ticked off about it too.

 

To make a long story short, im in NYC the guy sent me hot pics, I did a search on here and his name never came up. I have been wanting to do this for so long that I figured I am just gonna jump right in, it seemed fine, he didnt sound crazy over the phone, i had no legitimate reason to be concerned. And when i met him face to face I wanted to run, he was NOTHING LIKE HIS PIKS!! I just didn't know what to do. I had no choice I had to pay him. What a waste. I wasnt even "excited" and left after 20 minutes. I would love to publicize who he is but honestly, I am afraid of reprisal. I am totally closeted and he said in no uncertain terms "he wouldn't want anyone to find out about this, because it wouldn't be good for me" I feel betrayed and cheated and pissed off! He has my phone number. And on top of that, the whole fantasy I had planned came to a crashing, burning hault.

 

Thanks for letting me vent,

DDan

 

Do the Review! It's good therapy to vent to those who understand your situation and your doing possibly the next guy a favour also!

 

Reprisal? Most of these Scammers just move on to the next Client and forget the last one!

 

Use Daddys from now on with the Long List of guys "Working It" in NYC....

[Decatur Guy]

Do the review. What on earth can he do to you?

[crok]

1) Get a throwaway phone for a second #.

 

2) Don't hesitate to give something less than the agreed fee, or nothing, right off the bat if he has not been honest. Send him on his way within a few minutes.

 

3) Hire well reviewed guys.

 

4) Don't hire BN again. OK, this one is a joke!

[Michael Wayne]

Hi. Please review him. Guys like this give all of us GOOD guys who are known and well-reviewed a bad name. This is just my opinion but you shuld not have paid him a cent. You were essentially robbed. What a crying shame. There are many of us on here who would love to give you all those fantasies and share a wonderful time with you. Please do not give up. mikey

[uwsman2]

Don't let the scammers get you down. The best advice, especially for somebody who's new at this, is to go with guys who have several reviews on this site. Over more than 30 years of hiring, I've been scammed a few times, but never by anybody who had reviews posted. And I urge you to write a review for that very reason - this community of escort patrons shares information to help us protect our community members.

[jawjateck]

Don't sweat it, friend, and don't worry about his cheesy threats. He's a juvenile nobody. Do the review, let it out and let it go, then go treat yourself to one of the awesome well-reviewed studs of Daddys. That will fix what ails you!

 

I guess there is an advantage to having been around the block a few times. If a guy arrived at my place or I knocked on his door and he looked nothing like his pics, I would have no problem closing the door in his face or walking away without offering him anything, nor would I be embarassed to call security to show his sorry ass off the property.

[Diverdan]

Hey dfermer,

Why did you sign your post as DDan??

DD

[whipped guy]

If a guy arrived at my place or I knocked on his door and he looked nothing like his pics, I would have no problem closing the door in his face or walking away without offering him anything...

Unless the guy looked nothing like his pics because he looked much better than his pics... and that has happened as well!!!

 

Still, all kidding aside... as I mentioned above I regretted not submitting a review of the scam artist that took me all those years ago. Fortunately he is long retired, but was able to retire by conducting his business in an unethical manner. In fact, I had heard through the grapevine that shortly before he left the business he proudly bragged about all the cash he had accumulated over the years from his unsuspecting victims... Something tells me that this bozo has the same mindset... and none of us here want to help contribute to his "retirement fund". So with any luck you will feel comfortable naming names...

[RockHard]

Let's kick some ass.

 

This may sound harsh but I'm a firm believer in tough love: How about growing a pair of balls? You are a man, aren't you?

 

You get slack for first-time-itus but, unfortunately, scammers exist because too many gay men are pussies, or closeted, and insecure, too fat and out-of-shape to defend oneself, if not full of shame, and these horny wimps are ripe for the taking. So scammers take them.

 

I'm not bragging when I say I've never been scammed. But I do the research and I don't let people, especially strangers fuck with me. If someone tries to fuck me, fuck with my time and money, I'll beat the shit out of them, even though I'm not a violent man. But I do work out and am quite strong.

 

Rule #1: You call the shots. You are the customer with the money, right? If you're meeting someone for the first time (I understand the thrill), insist on a 2-minute greet-n-meet. Offer $20 for the 2-minutes (which, IMO, is a great deal) to make sure that you are comfortable moving forward. The meet-n-greet doesn't have to be scheduled immediately preceding an appointment. That way the escort won't lose his hour if you decide, for whatever reason, not to follow through. If an escort balks at this simple business proposition, you can assume he's a scammer, or he's completely insensitive to your first-time-itus, or he's afraid you'll find out his photos are 10 years old, or he's a lazy fuck who really doesn't want to work at building a business on the side, a business founded in intimacy and compassion. Either way, you win, because you remain in control.

 

I guarantee, an honest escort, if such a thing exists, will accept your offer, because he will have nothing to lose and will most likely acquire a new client. Trust is crucial in any successful negotiation. If someone won't put trust on the table for me, the negotiation ends. It's that simple.

 

Rule #2: Never hire an unknown for your first time. Experience is always a safer risk. Veteran escorts tend to know how to treat first-timers, and treat them well. Many say so in their ads.

 

Rule #3: Learn self defense. There's no better exercise for self esteem. Learn how to beat the shit out of anyone who tries to rip you off. Being a pussy is not an option for a real man. Find a way to empower yourself with confidence and self respect. Scammers sense weakness. They also sense strength. Make them afraid. Very afraid. It works for me. :-)

 

Good luck on your next go-round.

[12is12]

My SOP is one step further than RockHard's: I tell the escort in advance that if I don't like something when we meet, it's off (NO $20). I don't hold a grudge against those who refuse, and I don't assume that something's wrong with them. But I also move on.

 

I've had trouble only once, when a scammer threatened for money. I dialed the police, and that was that.

 

I would never give money to a liar and a cheat.

[playwrestler]

Also -- to add to the above encouragement to write a review -- I'm sure this guy has ripped off many clients and threatened the same reprisals... so unless you use your actual name (discouraged!) he'll never know which of his disgruntled victims wrote the review. It'll be a win/win for you and at least a first step down the road of outing a bad escort for him.

[RockHard]

You often get what you give.

 

I tell the escort in advance that if I don't like something when we meet, it's off (NO $20).

If that works for someone, fine. Most people are put off by ultimatums, especially arbitrary ones, so I don't recommend such an abrupt approach. I try to treat strangers in a way that offers respect, treat others as you wish to be treated kind of thing. It doesn't always secure the desired outcome but I think it offers a better chance for one.

 

Frankly, some escorts will agree to a 2-minute meet and will say "no charge." There are a few really nice guys in the biz. Offering $20 for 2 minutes of someone's time is a gesture of goodwill. It immediately says, "I respect your time," much like an attorney who will answer your questions and charge $75 for the half hour without any further commitment. There is always an interview process prior to hiring an attorney for anything serious and I've never had an attorney charge me full rate for the interview.

 

Another good suggestion for a first-timer: book with an escort who also offers massage. Unless you hate to be touched, massage is a great way to ease a newcomer into a sensual experience. It offers a little more get-to-know-you time and it can relax you at the same time. If you're a bottom, a good massage therapist will know how to open your ass and get you ready. The process is slower and more caring. There are a lot of escorts who aren't licensed but they get massage as part of their workout routine and they enjoy relaxing another man, using what they've learned.

 

If you plan with some thoughtful care, a first-time experience can be fun and quite rewarding.

[josephga]

I don't hire but if I did I would have no issues with saying what happened? you look nothing like your pics! Sorry dude no dice and walking away. But being a openly gay man gives me the option of showing my ass and raising hell. Allot of the guys that hire escorts are married closeted or both. actually I think the majority are. They are afraid too make a scene. I had a massage client last week tell me that he hired a guy for a massage and during the session he asked the guy if he would be nude the guy said yes it will be an extra 20.00. client said he would pass. and decided the massage was over and the he would just pay the standard fee. well the masseur didnt like that very much and proceeding to follow the client too his car. got into a argument and threw the soda he was drinking on the clients car.. this guy being married told me he did nothing. because he was scared too make a scene. Where I as being out and nothing too lose would have whooped his ass in the parking lot. there's allot to be said about being out

[jjkrkwood]

IF you met him in a public place, and didnt like what you saw because he had misrepresented himself, you DIDNT have to give him any money, and could have walked away. So I am not entirely understanding this..... Anyway, first rule of thumb "BUYER BEWARE"...... 2nd Rule: meet in public place. If he refuses, then scratch him off your list. 3rd Rule: if you are scammed, Bust the scammer by letting others know about him. Its a public service you are doing by protecting others. If he contacts or harrasses you, file a police report... 4th Rule: Always shop for escorts from reliable sites and sources. If they work for a website or service, they can be reported. I am sorry your 1st experience turned out poorly, but dont lose the faith. There are good guys around that can give you the experience you want and pay for..... Trust me...

[intensive]

I just got burned several times

and

finally next experience,

I offered guy 20 for just seeing and waiting for me

as he didn't looked like his pics.

He accepted and i walked away.

Well Well It was a waste of time

bit not lots of money without any service.

[jjkrkwood]

Frankly, some escorts will agree to a 2-minute meet and will say "no charge." There are a few really nice guys in the biz. Offering $20 for 2 minutes of someone's time is a gesture of goodwill. It immediately says, "I respect your time," much like an attorney who will answer your questions and charge $75 for the half hour without any further commitment. There is always an interview process prior to hiring an attorney for anything serious and I've never had an attorney charge me full rate for the interview.

 

i WILL DISAGREE here. The escort deserves NOTHING if he truly did misrepresent himself. I didnt get the feeling from the OP that this was a matter of his perception. He said the escort looked nothing like his pics. So for that alone I would have said "no deal, you arent who I agreed to, and you dont deserve to get paid." I do agree that escorts deserve Respect, they are providing a service of sorts, but dishonesty VOIDS manners.

[robberbaron4u]

I appreciate your situation; unfortunately, it is an inherent risk in doing business with a rentboy. A clients suffers, freqently, from the misconception that he, not the rentboy, is the "servant, employee and agent", if you will in the transaction. Given that statement as a matter of fact, it is the reason I offer a prospective "hire" luncheon at my expense at a restaurant at the restaurant of his choice, and, again at my expense, a session for "the works" with a good hair dresser of my acquainytance, a man whose valuation of character I value, a vetting process if you will. If the rentboy chooses to "pass" on the offer as a prerequsite to the "date", the old adage "There are plenty of other fish on the sea" is a proven advisement.

[jjkrkwood]

I appreciate your situation; unfortunately, it is an inherent risk in doing business with a rentboy. A clients suffers, freqently, from the misconception that he, not the rentboy, is the "servant, employee and agent", if you will in the transaction. Given that statement as a matter of fact, it is the reason I offer a prospective "hire" luncheon at my expense at a restaurant at the restaurant of his choice, and, again at my expense, a session for "the works" with a good hair dresser of my acquainytance, a man whose valuation of character I value, a vetting process if you will. If the rentboy chooses to "pass" on the offer as a prerequsite to the "date", the old adage "There are plenty of other fish on the sea" is a proven advisement.

 

Well RB, you certainly do go the whole "PRETTY WOMAN" route.... I am not sure most guys want to invest that much time or money with a prospect for ultimately a 1 hr session to "get your rocks off". Sure there should be some precaution taken, but your scenario is a bit "over the top" for most. No judgement being made here. I am an advocate of the "whatever works for you" school of thought. The goal is be be Safe and Happy, and however you achieve that end, so be it ...

[+ Axiom2001]

Well guys, it happened to me. My first experience was a disaster. I'm embarrassed to say I got scammed. I am pretty ticked off about it too.

 

To make a long story short, im in NYC the guy sent me hot pics, I did a search on here and his name never came up. I have been wanting to do this for so long that I figured I am just gonna jump right in, it seemed fine, he didnt sound crazy over the phone, i had no legitimate reason to be concerned. And when i met him face to face I wanted to run, he was NOTHING LIKE HIS PIKS!! I just didn't know what to do. I had no choice I had to pay him. What a waste. I wasnt even "excited" and left after 20 minutes. I would love to publicize who he is but honestly, I am afraid of reprisal. I am totally closeted and he said in no uncertain terms "he wouldn't want anyone to find out about this, because it wouldn't be good for me" I feel betrayed and cheated and pissed off! He has my phone number. And on top of that, the whole fantasy I had planned came to a crashing, burning hault.

 

Thanks for letting me vent,

DDan

 

Dan, I just read what you wrote and have to say firmly that you did have a choice. When you saw him, and he looked nothing like his pics, I would have said: "Sorry...; then I perhaps would have given him $20.00 and asked him to go on his merry way!!!

 

Since you and he were together and you were quite, quite disappointed, by "all means" write a negative review of his failing to deliver what was promised in terms of looks as well as his being a sad partner with you! How can there be any reprisals? If he begins to bother you, report him. Just say that you have a stalker who has been harassing you if he decides to try some "shit!"

 

Sorry that your first experience was negative! Do try again because there are many escorts out there who do deliver, and I do mean "deliver."

[RexAll]

I don't know guys. Even as an honest escort who planned on treating decent clients decently, I doubt I'd go for the short meet and greet. I hate to say this but not all clients are honest. If I were the escort, I might wonder if the client was trying to pull something over on me. The only way I could see the escort usually agreeing is if he is

hurting for business.

 

As for getting scammed by reviewed guys-- I've been hiring a long time-- I can't remember for sure if I've ever been scammed by a guy with good reviews -- but I sure as heck can say that I've had reviewed guys who don't live up to their hype. And I'm not that hard to please. What is the old saying-- even Homer nods. I've even had only a mediocre time with someone from Maximum escorts which many people on here seem to regard as the Holy Grail of a place for a sure- fire great time. And to back up that statement, I remember a fairly recent review ( not mine) within the last 6 months about a a guy from Maximum not being all that -plus the guy I met from them no longer works for them.

 

But for a newbie-- which we all were at one time-- I'd definitely go for a reviewed guy that fits my likes-- or a guy from Maximum-- because in spite of what I said above, in general they seem to have a pretty good track record.

 

Ddan-- can I ask why as a novice-- you did decide to go with an unreviewed guy? Was it the thrill of the unknown? Considering you are in NYC with the largest number of escorts in the USA, was there no reviewed guy who matched your tastes well? Now don't get me wrong-- I've gone out with a lot of unreviewed guys. And usually things have worked out fine. In most cases it wouldn't be that risky a thing to do if your interaction with the guy prior didn't raise any flags. Unfortunately in your case it didn't work out so well.

 

I wish you all the best luck in the world if you decide to try again-- but I implore as others on this thread have done-- either ask one of the nicer members on the Forum for an opinion or suggestion if one of us seems to be simpatico with your wants and desires or at the very least go with a guy who has good reviews and a good reputation.

 

Rex