Two Questions: "Straight Escorts" and "Porn Escorts"

[healthguy]

Based on recommendations from this forum, I'm going to book with an escort from Chicago at the end of July. However, I still have some fun looking through the "adds."

So for future reference and possible bookings I have some questions:

1) When an escorts says he is "straight" this really baffles me! One in particular, talks about cuddling with clients, and spending time just being with another guy in bed. Can escorts who claim to be straight, just "turn the dial" for cash??? Fill me in, since some of these guys look really good!

2) Why does it seem that many of the guys that are escorts and porn actors also, often have the green actively looking sign on? One would assume, they would always be busy!?!

Just, curious, and still really new to the game. Thanks

[mansniffing]

I am of the opinion that sexuality is just too complex to put a label on it. In Rome during the reign of Julius Caesar, before labels, Caesar was said to be "husband to all women" and "wife to all men." And from what I've read he genuinely enjoyed both. Historically it has also been written that until the reign of Claudius, the previous emperors were all "switch hitters." I've had crushes on both sexes but my sexual and emotional preferences are primarily with men. Some say that if you claim to be straight and also have sex with men that you are predominantly gay. I don't buy that argument. Early in my youth my sex was with straight men. "Cuddling with clients and spending time with another guy in bed" is an enjoyable action. Think of it as a kind of bonding. I've cuddled with women in bed without being sexually attracted to them. My experience with "straight escorts" has been excellent. I enjoy pleasuring them and they enjoy being pleasured. Generally, male to male sex is just as hot for many straight guys as well as male to female sex. And those I've asked are really into eating pussy but not into sucking cock. Yet when standing at an open urinal or in a shower room it is second nature for both gay and straight men to check each other out, just as women check each other out. Let's face it, straight men can be very horny and "a stiff prick has no conscience."

 

I did ask one of my straight escorts about the green activity light on RB. He said he activates it with his cell phone and that it stays green for four hours and then switches to red. Escorts can re-activate it for another 4-hour period by triggering it from their cell phone. Business-wise it is practical as it encourages prospective clients to call and leave a voice message or send an e-mail to the escort for a future contact and possible booking. After all, isn't that what people in general do, listen to their voice messages, read their e-mails and reply when time permits? In these hard-up times (no pun intended) living is expensive and many young, really good looking high-Testostorone men supplement their income as part-time escorts to pay their bills. Straight men can be very kinky and uninhibited when it comes to pleasuring themselves. So my advice is to not analyze but to utilize. Different strokes for different folks. I had a friend that had a straight lover for over 10-years who was secretly having an affair with a woman and eventually left my friend and is now happily ensconced with his "woman." Human nature is complex but oh what a wonderful adventure. Enjoy.

[Poolboy21409]

What a well thought out, sensitive and intelligent reply. Well Done!!

[playwrestler]

I have a friend who is now a happily married family guy but who also had a lot of fun times in the sack with men. He always explained it as recreational. He loved the physical aspect of male to male but his heart didn't get engaged like it did with women. He eventually found the woman who did it all for him and he settled down quite happily... and as he explained "learning how to commit is a whole other level of growing up!"

[josephga]

imo they are not str8. they are just playing a role playing game too feed into the whole gay man wanting to score with the str8 guy fantasy.

[seeker630]

There have been numerous discussions here about what defines 'gay' or 'straight' and whether a 'straight' escort can deliver a satisfying experiences, and there is no consensus. Persoanlly, I think the post by mansniffing is on the mark.

 

I think you have to remember that the escort's definition of his sexuality might not be the same as yours - he may be capable of having mutually-satisfying sex with a man and still consider himself straight. I think you probably need to exercise greater caution when considering an escort who identifies as 'straight' because he mighthave more limits on what he is willing to do sexually (e.g,, some 'straight' guys will only top or receive oral serivce). (And for some members here, that is sufficient.) As with any encounter, you need to be clear upfront & explicitly about what your exspectations (needs) are and get assurance that the escort is comfortable meeting those requirements. And look for corroborating testimony from other clients both here & in the reviews.

[josephga]

There have been numerous discussions here about what defines 'gay' or 'straight' and whether a 'straight' escort can deliver a satisfying experiences, and there is no consensus. Persoanlly, I think the post by mansniffing is on the mark.

 

I think you have to remember that the escort's definition of his sexuality might not be the same as yours - he may be capable of having mutually-satisfying sex with a man and still consider himself straight. I think you probably need to exercise greater caution when considering an escort who identifies as 'straight' because he mighthave more limits on what he is willing to do sexually (e.g,, some 'straight' guys will only top or receive oral serivce). (And for some members here, that is sufficient.) As with any encounter, you need to be clear upfront & explicitly about what your exspectations (needs) are and get assurance that the escort is comfortable meeting those requirements. And look for corroborating testimony from other clients both here & in the reviews.

 

I agree about asking questions and being up front. the problem is most don't ask questions at all. Allot of guys just assume. 90% of the massage clients i get never ask questions. I had a guy the other day make a comment he asked why was he the only one nekkied? If he had bothered to ask on the phone if I did nude massage I would have gladly said no. He made the assumption that everyone does because a guy he saw 2 weeks ago did. sensual and erotic means different things the everyone. providers are not mind readers ask questions.

[Guest Rich.]

What a well thought out, sensitive and intelligent reply. Well Done!!

 

Hear, Hear, Poolboy.

 

Healthguy, I've spent the last few weeks writing and re-writing (and failing) to formulate a question for the Board, on which your post touches, but even with some serious help from Honourable Members (take a bow, SD!), I haven't managed to formulate it. I know that I'm going to be accused of hijacking yet another thread, but I hope you'll forgive me, and to the rest of you fuckers who won't forgive me, guess what? I'm going to claim the privilege of old age.

 

Healthguy, 'straight', to me, is now a concept that I can barely get my head around. I believe that in times gone past, I would have considered myself qualified to give you some considered advice, but today? Does it mean that an Escort has a masculine demeanor and could 'pass'. Is it that 'straight' = 'gay corruptable'? Or, 'straight' = 'restricted access'? Maybe just 'straight' = 'straight'?

 

OK, I'm probably about to hijack this thread off-topic, but this is my straight 'theory', and hopefully the whole Board won't respond by claiming I'm just 'venting', because please believe me, I'm honestly not!

 

I'm involved with a rugby club (that's American football, without the padding!). The club supports a young team (18-22). These guys are my personal shock-jocks. Their behaviour, in the changing room, would have gotten the shit beaten out of me less than 20-odd-years-ago. OK, 'Rugger-Buggers' have always had a reputation for being 'up-for-a-dare', exactly like the Army boys I've known, but now I watch these guys fight over the mirror, check out (and comment!) on each other's bodies, discuss their diets, ponder fashion, share 'product' and banter about their sex lives, in a way that's completely alien to me, so much so that I feel I'm totally unqualified, possibly because of my hideously old age, to give an opinion on the current 'straight' or 'real' man label.

 

After a match, we often (OK, always!) go out for a drink. These guys' brutal honesty, about what they get up to in bed, completely stuns me! I was totally gob-smacked when one of the team discussed in a bar about how his girlfriend (with a strap-on!) wasn't satisfying him. He handed around his phone, playing a clip of him pleasuring himself, being 'fucked'. Another one of these 18-22-year-old players unashamedly replied, "it needs a 'bloke', arse-fucking requires stamina". They had to pick me up off the floor! These young men (I'll call them the internet porn generation), freely admit to having guy-on-guy sex but don't in any way identify as 'gay', I have to come to the conclusion that they believe the word 'gay' means a lifestyle-choice (hence the association of 'gay' with 'lame'), so even if they enjoy repeated sex with another man, they consider themselves 'straight'. It's not about whether they've shagged a man, 'straight' to them means they'll 'grow up' (eventually!), get married, have children, be a good Daddy (!), ... etc.

 

IMHO, I believe the word 'straight', amongst the younger generation, no longer has any direct connotation with any kind of physical sex act.

 

A mate, over from Oz, hooked up with a London-based Oceanic gay team. I support a 'good-cause' which is difficult to raise funds for. I had an idea, and asked 'my' team if they would consider playing a charity match. I'd steeled myself for an outright refusal, an unwillingness to do a public 'play-with-gay' event, a 'fuck-off' attitude about sharing communal changing rooms, oh... and... the showers?! I took a deep breath, and asked. Guess what?

 

My fears. Not theirs. :o

 

To maximise funds, I went for an outrageously out-and-out pitch, using the 'straight' vs. 'gay' angle. The £6 tickets eventually ended up being sold under the title of 'Butch' vs. 'Bitch' (with each side's agreement!). I'm so proud of 'my' guys, they hustled everyone they knew to ensure there was a full crowd. The Team Captain? He set up a series of public challenges for the 'Visitors', you'd probably call them pay-to-play, or auction trials, including one, that if you're into mud wresting, would have left you breathless!

 

I don't know whether you've ever heard of 'Soggy Biscuit'? If I'd been asked about it a decade-or-two ago, I would have said it was a myth. Now it's become a rallying call and a challenge. Oh, and a convenient way to force guys like me out of the changing rooms. At the end of the match, I went back to the hut with my mate to thank the guys (with all my heart) for their generosity in agreeing to play. As I walked in the door, the opposing Team's Captain, yelled "SOGGY BISCUIT", and 'my' Team Captain hollered back, "TWENTY-POUND BUY IN".

 

I naturally had to leave (yes, if I'm brutally honest, I would have sold-my-soul to stay!). I sat outside on a bench with my mate, laughing, exhilarated, feeling a lot younger and loving a cold beer. Later, as the players turned out to greet the paying fans, one of 'mine' came up to me and handed me a wad of cash, it was his 'Soggy Biscuit' pool. He stuffed the cash in my hand, grinned, and said, "I lost".

 

The after-party, in a 'famous' rugby pub, (ie. willing to put up with men stripping off), I found jaw-dropping. I realised that 'my' team had previously arranged to ensure they had garters available, I've been reliably told their girlfriends were definitely complicit! Our 'Visitors' were furious. I then got to watch a team of ANZ guys immediately go into competing 'Hero-Mode' on behalf of my 'charity', swaggering around the pub asking 'strange' girls if they would take their knickers off so they could tie them around their thighs! Each and every player (of both teams) then went around the pub insisting customers stuff banknotes between their legs! I immediately did a Deej, I knew then that I'd made a fatal error. The end-of-night venue should have been a mainstream gay nightclub!

 

When the Landlord called "time", both Team Captains stood either side of the exit clutching a champagne bucket. No-one was allowed to leave without emptying their pockets of change. Some emptied their wallets.

 

So, the meaning of 'straight'? I no longer have any idea what that 'label' means and if in 2011 it actually has any value. BUT... I'm very much looking forward to the Board's thoughts!

 

Thanks, Healthguy, for such a though-provoking post, and apologies for my W&P response.

 

Richard

[josephga]

For myself I identify sexuality based on emotional connection. Never been with a woman have no desire to be with a woman. But if someone said here's 500.00 fuck this chick over here. I could have no problem getting hard and doing so. It would be just a physical act id have zero emotional feeling for her. That's how I can self identify as gay. Not only a sexual desire but as well as an emotional connection as well. I can get the crushes, the butterfly's in the tummy the feeling of love for a man. never with a female.

[Guest Rich.]

For myself I identify sexuality based on emotional connection. Never been with a woman have no desire to be with a woman. But if someone said here's 500.00 fuck this chick over here. I could have no problem getting hard and doing so. It would be just a physical act id have zero emotional feeling for her. That's how I can self identify as gay. Not only a sexual desire but as well as an emotional connection as well. I can get the crushes, the butterfly's in the tummy the feeling of love for a man. never with a female.

 

Exactly, Joseph, brilliant reply! Thank you, so much.

 

I now honestly believe that in 2011, the question is not whether you're label is 'straight', 'gay', 'lesbian' or 'bisexual', but ... "What's Your Butterfly?".

 

You've made my year, Joseph.

 

Richard

[mansniffing]

What a great response to the thread Rich. Now I'll have to google SOGGY BISCUIT. LOL. When Marlon Brando, the actor, was a young man there was a military draft and when he reported to the draft board he was given a questionaire to fill out. In the blank that asked his race he replied "Human." Just goes to show that as human beings we never fail to surprise others.

[+ purplekow]

Believe that Soggy Biscuit is a masturbation game in which the last to come on the biscuit eats it.

[mansniffing]

Right on Purplekow. I googled it.

 

Soggy biscuit

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Soggy biscuit, sometimes also called The Biscuit Game, Sticky Biscuit, Cookies and Cream, Limp Biscuit or Ookie Cookie is a male masturbation game which originated from the United Kingdom in which the participants stand around a biscuit masturbating until ejaculating on to it; the last person to do so must eat the biscuit. The game is also known in Australia as soggy Sao after the SAO brand of biscuits popular there. The term soggy biscuit is thought to have originated in the UK sometime in the 1960s.

[Michael Wayne]

excellent thread! For myself I am 100 gay BUT I am STRAIGHT FOR PAY. So if I as a masculine gay man can play straight for my couple and female clients then why can't a straight man play gay for pay. The penis is a remarkable organ and it can be played in various ways by various players. Let's get over all the labels and just be sexual beings. Most of my clients are married with a bunch of kids but when they are with me for that hour or two or overnight they are gay as can be. http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

[leigh.bess.toad]

For myself I identify sexuality based on emotional connection. Never been with a woman have no desire to be with a woman. But if someone said here's 500.00 fuck this chick over here. I could have no problem getting hard and doing so. It would be just a physical act id have zero emotional feeling for her. That's how I can self identify as gay. Not only a sexual desire but as well as an emotional connection as well. I can get the crushes, the butterfly's in the tummy the feeling of love for a man. never with a female.

 

Joseph, I think your answer hit the nail on the head. And I said almost exactly the same thing, at least the emotional connection part, to another forum member in an exchange of text messages, not 2 hours ago.

 

As someone who has only been out now for about 8 months, it has become clearer and clearer to me that it is the emotional connection with men that makes me gay. The sex is almost an added bonus, as it were (a great bonus, mind you, but a bonus). And it has become so crystal clear to me, now that I actually have fallen in love with my new boyfriend. The connection I feel with him, that I have established with him in the 2 months we've been together, is so much deeper and intense of a connection that anything I was ever really able to feel with my wife, even though I do care for her a great deal -- as a very good and close friend.

 

The notion of that emotional connectedness is never talked about in the public arena, where the bigots and homphobes so focus on the sexual acts. To me, that emotional committment is what needs to be talked about. But it isn't done. Not nearly enough. At least not for me.

 

Thank you healthguy for starting this thread. It really is an excellent thread with much to think about. Even soggy biscuits.

[orbital sander]

Personally, I could not imagine an emotional connection to a woman (except my dear mum:))...They are aliens to me...

[jjkrkwood]

My take on str8 escorts for Gay clients is that if he is identifying as str8, he "probably" cant/wont enjoy the experience and I have always believed that you cant be good at something you dont love doing. I would like the escort to enjoy his time with me as well. Secondly, although they may look "good" as the OP states, there are so many HOT gay escorts, why bother with the gay for pay ones, unless part of your fantasy is making it with a str8 boy (who in fact may really NOT be str8)....

 

As far as the "actively looking" question, the economy is bad, jobs arent as plentiful even for the good escorts, and who couldnt use a few extra hundred dollars.? Why turn any business away??? And since I am told by escorts they often experience "no shows" or cancelled calls, its always wise to have backup....

[EZEtoGRU]

My take on str8 escorts for Gay clients is that if he is identifying as str8, he "probably" cant/wont enjoy the experience and I have always believed that you cant be good at something you dont love doing. I would like the escort to enjoy his time with me as well. Secondly, although they may look "good" as the OP states, there are so many HOT gay escorts, why bother with the gay for pay ones, unless part of your fantasy is making it with a str8 boy (who in fact may really NOT be str8)....

 

As far as the "actively looking" question, the economy is bad, jobs arent as plentiful even for the good escorts, and who couldnt use a few extra hundred dollars.? Why turn any business away??? And since I am told by escorts they often experience "no shows" or cancelled calls, its always wise to have backup....

 

I guess I have three comments:

 

1. If you think all the gay escorts are physically attracted to most of their clients and truly enjoy themselves, you are kidding yourself. Just because they are gay, does not mean they really are attracted to guys in their 40's/50's/60's. To many of them it is just a job. This does not mean they are not able to perform and give the impression that they are really into you. Many are able to do that.....same with the str8 dudes.

 

2. Some gay escorts are lousy at their work just as some gay-for-pay escorts are. Equally, some from both groups do a great job.

 

3. I almost always go for "gay-for-pay" guys because masculinity is the overiding attraction for me. With only a few exceptions (and Mikey9Nola may be one of the exceptions!!), most gay escorts simply don't meet the masculinity threshold for me. They can be as attractive and muscular as can be, and as soon as they open their mouths, its all over for me.....in most cases.

 

BTW, I was just with a str8 escort last night here in Sao Paulo. He is about 27yo, has three kids, has no interest in men outside of his job.......yet performed wonderfully well. Rock hard. etc. And most importantly, as masculine and manly as can be. In the end, I was very pleased and he was as well since he left with money in his pocket.

[jjkrkwood]

. The penis is a remarkable organ and it can be played in various ways by various players. Let's get over all the labels and just be sexual beings. http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

 

Interesting, but lest we forget, the penis is ruled by the brain, and if you aint into it, You just aint into it. Perhaps if you spent some time at the Actors playhouse with James Lipton, you can pull it off ? No way would pussy EVER give me a hardon....

[jjkrkwood]

I guess I have three comments:

 

3. I almost always go for "gay-for-pay" guys because masculinity is the overiding attraction for me. With only a few exceptions (and Mikey9Nola may be one of the exceptions!!), most gay escorts simply don't meet the masculinity threshold for me. They can be as attractive and muscular as can be, and as soon as they open their mouths, its all over for me.....in most cases.

 

Sounds like you equate "masculinity" with a label ? Unless you were at the escorts wedding to a woman (and even that can be questionable), there is no way of really knowing what his sexual inclination REALLY is. It is merely just YOU allowing the label he has assigned himself to rule you. I have been with several "labelled" gay escorts that didnt have flowers flowing out of their mouths when they spoke, and have seen several labelled "str8" escorts who appeared MORE gay than the gay ones, with their plucked eyebrows and manscaped bodies. So I guess the lesson to be learned here is to go with what you are attracted to, and leave the labels behind.....They mean Nothing.

[josephga]

I guess I have three comments:

 

1. If you think all the gay escorts are physically attracted to most of their clients and truly enjoy themselves, you are kidding yourself. Just because they are gay, does not mean they really are attracted to guys in their 40's/50's/60's. To many of them it is just a job. This does not mean they are not able to perform and give the impression that they are really into you. Many are able to do that.....same with the str8 dudes.

 

I agree iv always believed the greatest skill of an escort is not their sexual skills but the ability to have great acting skills. It's a job just because they are gay doesn't mean they are attracted to their client base. They are paid to create a fantasy scene..

[EZEtoGRU]

I guess I have three comments:

 

3. I almost always go for "gay-for-pay" guys because masculinity is the overiding attraction for me. With only a few exceptions (and Mikey9Nola may be one of the exceptions!!), most gay escorts simply don't meet the masculinity threshold for me. They can be as attractive and muscular as can be, and as soon as they open their mouths, its all over for me.....in most cases.

 

Sounds like you equate "masculinity" with a label ? Unless you were at the escorts wedding to a woman (and even that can be questionable), there is no way of really knowing what his sexual inclination REALLY is. It is merely just YOU allowing the label he has assigned himself to rule you. I have been with several "labelled" gay escorts that didnt have flowers flowing out of their mouths when they spoke, and have seen several labelled "str8" escorts who appeared MORE gay than the gay ones, with their plucked eyebrows and manscaped bodies. So I guess the lesson to be learned here is to go with what you are attracted to, and leave the labels behind.....They mean Nothing.

 

No.....I equate masculinity with being manly. I have learned from many years of trial and error that gay guys rarely work for me. Trust me, I would love to find a gay escort that I could have frequent encounters with where he is really manly and exudes legitimate masculinity. I'm still looking!

 

Over time, I have resorted more to going with the str8 guys where there is a much higher chance of them being manly. Yes, they can be more limited in what they will do in the bedroom. That doesn't bother me however.

[EZEtoGRU]

I agree iv always believed the greatest skill of an escort is not their sexual skills but the ability to have great acting skills. It's a job just because they are gay doesn't mean they are attracted to their client base. They are paid to create a fantasy scene..

 

Agreed. It's funny how many punters on Daddy's think the escort is really truly into them.....and is really turned on by the whole experience. Im not saying that cannot happen on occassion, but 90% of the time, the escort is just doing it to make some money and rarely gives a second thought to the client after the encounter. As you say, they are paid to create a fantasy, and some do that very very well.....gay and str8.

[jjkrkwood]

 

No.....I equate masculinity with being manly. I have learned from many years of trial and error that gay guys rarely work for me. Trust me, I would love to find a gay escort that I could have frequent encounters with where he is really manly and exudes legitimate masculinity. I'm still looking!

 

Over time, I have resorted more to going with the str8 guys where there is a much higher chance of them being manly. Yes, they can be more limited in what they will do in the bedroom. That doesn't bother me however.

 

I completely understood what you meant the first time around, but you are clearly missing my point.... My point is, since you are putting so much emphasis on str8 = manly, how do you know the escort is truly str8 ??? Just because he told you so ? Heresay ? The answer is that you DONT really know, you just choose to believe. As has been said MANY times on this forum, the escorts skill lies in his ability to "create" a Fantasy for the client, and that could possibly include saying he is str8 just to appeal to guys like you who seem to Value that ? Thats why I think the whole concept is ridiculous

[EZEtoGRU]

 

I completely understood what you meant the first time around, but you are clearly missing my point.... My point is, since you are putting so much emphasis on str8 = manly, how do you know the escort is truly str8 ??? Just because he told you so ? Heresay ? The answer is that you DONT really know, you just choose to believe. As has been said MANY times on this forum, the escorts skill lies in his ability to "create" a Fantasy for the client, and that could possibly include saying he is str8 just to appeal to guys like you who seem to Value that ? Thats why I think the whole concept is ridiculous

 

Dearest. Why are you so desperate to want to believe that there are not str8 masculine escorts or rentboys out there? You apparently have not been to Brazil, Argentina, or Uruguay.

 

Trust me, you are just fooling yourself.