Scared back straight

[Guest Connoisseur]

I have had two weekend experiences so far. Both failures and I think fate might be telling me I'm not bi (as I was thinking) but should be firmly back in the straight column since I've never had such experiences with women I've dated or the one I was married to. For the record, I've never been with a female escort. For the escort, here are some suggestions although I'm sure there are several guys who don't need this advice (I've just not met those guys):

 

1. At least one shower per day. Also, if you tell me after a meal you had to go "number 2", I "strongly suggest" you take a shower before crawling into my bed and wanting to cuddle and more.

2. If you tell me you won't smoke during the visit, its also not a good idea to show up so smelling of smoke it's like a second skin.

3. If you have a criminal record, don't share that unless you are approaching a secure military facility and assume a background check will occur. Its also fair to assume that you will scare the heck out of your client in particular if you share these details within the first 15 minutes of being picked up.

4. Regardless of the fact you may have been with a large number of men, don't volunteer that to your client and if asked (I did not ask) you might consider minimizing it unless you're sure the client will be more impressed with a higher quantity.

5. Unless you are recognized by someone, don't share your porn video past.

6. Don't share horror stories from hourly appointments that are more likely to deflate your clients interest.

7. It is possible to talk too much, particularly during attempts at intimacy.

8. Its better not to text after 2 AM in my bed and then after having woken me up share the horror stories of problems with your boyfriend because (I guess) you think you have to because you realize you shouldn't be texting like you have been.

 

For informational reasons, I made only direct non-stop flight arrangements to minimize the guys travel time, we stayed in suites at good hotels, ate only the best food and always checking in advance what the guys liked. Was very respectful (as we should all be). One guy wanted to do some sporting recreation and I paid for that while waiting elsewhere for three hours. Lastly, both guys raved about how great they thought I was even days after they were back home and wanted to see me again.

 

This is clearly my fault. I was naive and gullible in thinking paying it forward would help ensure I had a good time and believing the pre meeting phone conversations were reliable.

 

I guess though its better I learned after two and not more. I can now think what I will spend some newly available funds on.

[Guest Rich.]

All this, before lunch?

 

Richard

[+ purplekow]

Connoisseur I began a similar thread earlier today concerning escort hiring slumps. I think before you head back to your previous ways, you might ask yourself whether it was men that turned you off or just these men. It seems to me that you may not have hired well in these cases. I have been running a streak of that lately. You might try hiring for a shorter period of time, getting to know a compatible escort and then hire him for a longer period of time. No guarantee that the weekend will work out better but I think it pushes the odds in that direction. Lots of luck.

[Okliehomo]

So, to get this...... um ... straight....

 

You have made exactly two attempts at this and for whatever ill advised reasons decided that an entire weekend with someone you have never met and yet somehow expected to full fill your wildest dreams was even remotely a good idea???

 

I have been doing this forever and sometimes, even an overnite is a big risk... like purplekow said, take it slow... find someone you like.... hourly or more.. before you jump the shark, you know?

 

Have to admit, though.... I am very curious.... who did you hire?

 

From your description...... stinky down there, smoky up there, with a criminal past and a disdain for his current means of support and a codependent text all the time bf....

 

Did you read reviews about either of them before you hired?? Kind of the point here......

 

There are amazing men out there, trust me. That are worth it. I promise.

 

Don't settle.

 

Okie

[rvwnsd]

A couple of things come to mind:

 

1) Google "LGBT Community Center [insert your city/name of closest city here]." They undoubtedly have support services for people who are questioning their sexual orientation.

 

2) Now that you have found the message board, use it as a forum to ask questions. In general, you will receive good advice. From time to time it might be a little tart, but other posters will undoubtedly add some sweetener.

 

3) A good alternative to flying a guy somewhere for a weekend is to fly to his town/city and book a shorter appointment. Explain that you are new to this and are unsure whether you want to spend an hour, two, or more. Also plan to do some sightseeing by yourself. There are several well-reviewed escorts in New York, Chicago, LA, Atlanta, Dallas, San Francisco, and many other fun destinations. If the playdate goes bad, you will have spent less money and will have had a positive experience to balance it out. If the playdate goes fabulously, you will still have spent less money (or not ) and have an additional positive experience to enhance it.

 

4) Make a list of all the things you want and need to make the experience a fun one. Check it and revise it several times. Make sure your guy meets all or most of them.

 

5) Speak up if something is not going well. A quick solution to the smoke and, ahem, "mud" problem is a shower. Ask him to take one. Offer to give him a spa-like bathing experience and ask him to return the favor.

 

This is not to say that you are "at fault." There is no "fault." Bad things happen and, sadly, you experienced two very expensive bad things in a row. To steal a phrase, it gets better. It really does.

[Guest Connoisseur]

Purplekow, thanks for your comments. If I decide to try again, I will follow your advice and start with a shorter period of time, either with someone local (not much available currently) or I'll fly to their city so I can cut the meeting short if necessary. Both guys were reviewed on this site. One also had a review on M4RN which I now think was totally fabricated. Thanks again.

[Guest Connoisseur]

Thanks RVWNSD. I particularly like your suggestion about flying to a destination rather than flying someone to my city. If I try again and local still doesn't offer many options, I'll do the traveling.

[joeyboy107]

Sorry you had such dreadful experiences! While you may be wise to follow some of the advice given above, I must say, I would love to have you as a client based on how you described you planned the weekend!

[+ Cash4Trash]

Just curious -

 

Were the escorts detailed in this thread and purplekow's young guys?

Under 26?

[Guest Connoisseur]

One was 24 and the other 23.

[+ purplekow]

Just curious -

 

Were the escorts detailed in this thread and purplekow's young guys?

Under 26?

I rarely hire anyone under 30.

[Jaker27]

Sorry but I find it hard to believe your actually questioning your whole sexuality on just 2 experiences.

[orbital sander]

I rarely hire anyone under 30.

 

My own experiences have moved me to the same conclusion.

[orbital sander]

Thanks RVWNSD. I particularly like your suggestion about flying to a destination rather than flying someone to my city. If I try again and local still doesn't offer many options, I'll do the traveling.

 

Several suggestions here seem to be sound, so I will just say I am very sorry that you had such a bad time when you were hoping for a good one. I hope that you find better experiences in the future!