Is 25 too young to pay for sex?

[Guest thedolphinsofaugust]

I'm new to this site. I'm a very shy person and I hate being in crowds. I've been to a few gay bars but no one seems to want to get to know anyone. I live in a suburban part of Pennsylvania. There's a gay club nearby but I've never had any luck meeting anybody there. Adam4Adam has proven to be a complete waste of time.

 

So I happened upon the escorting sites and am quite surprised there aren't more escorts. In a bad economy like this one and with a lot of handsome, muscular men out there, I'm surprised that there aren't 1,000 escorts in New York City (which is where I'd go to meet one.)

 

I used to think that male escorts were just for the very wealthy (like the older wealthy socialite women, a Joan Collins type, that would hire some young stud), and while it's still very expensive, I see that it's not entirely impossible (if you save up for it).

 

I am 25 years old and most "clients" seem to be a bit older. Most people my age are struggling financially - it seems we'd be the escorts more than clients.

 

I want to know what your experience has been. When did you start looking for paid companionship in the bedroom? Is 25 too young to give up on meeting someone by chance? Am I crazy for thinking the only way to have intimacy is by paying for it?

[cynicalflannelwearer]

Welcome to the forum dolphin!!

 

You have to ask yourself a few questions about being too young to hire someone. Are you attractive, and the only issue is that you are shy? Then do something to try to overcome your shyness, and then get out and get some!

 

If you are average looking, and want a hot guy that you would normally not be able to get with at the bars, then only you can decide that you want to spend your hard earned cash on someone that really, only wants to be with you for the money.

 

And, IMHO, 25 is too young to stop looking and start buying. You deserve someone that is with you because they want to be with you,even if it's just a one night stand or whatever the case may be.

 

I am in my late 30's, and have not hired anyone in over a year. I have met someone that really likes me for me, and even if it doesn't develop into a long term relationship, at least I know he really liked me!!

 

Best of luck to you!!

[Guest thedolphinsofaugust]

Thank you for your welcome, cynicalflannerwearer (why flannel, lol?)

 

I don't really know if I am attractive or not. I guess the best answer would be that there are days I feel too ugly to live and days I feel like I'm okay. I guess people would describe me as sweet, cute, and feminine (definitely a bottom). I feel more transgender than gay.

 

I'm attracted to straight men really, which explains why I never get any. I need someone to balance my femininity - a big macho stud would be nice (:

 

I'm also a virgin- period. I feel safe saying that here because you have to be very open about your sexuality here (this is, after all, a site about the business of sex). I have only one experience that included a little oral, but not enough to make it a complete oral experience (which would last more than just a minute). Anal is something I've never done and something I definitely want to do. Word of mouth is that anal hurts the first time, but it hurts GOOD. I wouldn't be completely disappointed though paying $300 for a REALLY HOT guy to make out with for an hour. I mean, haven't we all spent $300 on worse?

 

I am happy you have found someone. I would imagine that most of the "buyers" aren't exactly hideous themselves - most of them seem to be nice-looking men over the age of 40 with good jobs, schedules that are way too busy, and a good flow of expendable income. Just because you are not model material doesn't mean you can't have a good sex life.

 

25 probably is too young to stop looking. It's just that in 25 years I have not been on a SINGLE date. That one experience I had took place in a hot tub at a gay resort. It wasn't complete, it just left me even more lonely.

 

I know that it's foolish to hire an escort and think, "Hey maybe if we hit it off, he'll become my boyfriend." Escorts provide a short fantasy and when it's over, it's over, but I'd rather have that than have nothing at all. Am I wrong?

[Guest Rich.]

Hey Dolphin,

 

I was 13 or 14 when I first paid for 'it'. Hand-on-heart. I was also a stunningly pretty young man. Proof on file albeit the 1970's and definitions have changed markedly! Sure, there are some escorts with $-signs for eyes. Others who genuinely love making their clients physically and emotionally happy. Think along the lines of a personal trainer. His mind could be just on the money or he might well be truly interested and feel a real sense of pride in helping and watching you develop your body.

 

I've never believed that a visually 'hot' guy is only available to another hot guy. I might have clocked a stunning specimen in my youth and fantasised but it was always the bloke that made me feel confident, unashamed, fearless and kept me laughing that ended up in my pants.

 

OK. I have a question for you. Bette Davis or Lillian Gish?

 

Richard

[+ sf westcoaster]

Two thoughts: One, do not give up looking. It will happen when you least expect it. Two, age is not a factor in hiring - search the escorts site and contact the escort(s) that appeal to you and be totally honest with the escort - describe yourself and your experience level and tell him what you are looking for in a session. Basically have a dialog with the escort.

[+ purplekow]

25 is definitely not too young. It is clear that you are too shy. Age has nothing to do with hiring an escort, but at 25 it does speak for you sexual maturity and your self confidence that you are still a virgin. Still a virgin at 25, you need a confidence boost and a taste of the good life, if you are ready for it and it sounds as though you are. I would suggest that you check through the NYC rent boy ads and select a few and come back to this site and ask about them. This will help you avoid the money hungry and the fakes. Once the posters here have an idea of your taste, we will be able to make some suggestions for you. I remember being 25 and I remember being a virgin. There is only one of them I would want to experience again. Your are in luck, you get to live the life of a 25 year old, but only if you take a deep breath, get out of your head and get into a bed with a hot man who will make you forget what was holding you back. Once you have that confidence from those initial professional encounters, start going out to meet other gay men. There are places other than bars to go. You have a wonderful and fulfilled life waiting for you. Do not waste another minute in self induced shame and terror.

[cynicalflannelwearer]

Thank you for your welcome, cynicalflannerwearer (why flannel, lol?)

 

I don't really know if I am attractive or not. I guess the best answer would be that there are days I feel too ugly to live and days I feel like I'm okay. I guess people would describe me as sweet, cute, and feminine (definitely a bottom). I feel more transgender than gay.

 

I'm attracted to straight men really, which explains why I never get any. I need someone to balance my femininity - a big macho stud would be nice (:

 

I wouldn't be completely disappointed though paying $300 for a REALLY HOT guy to make out with for an hour. I mean, haven't we all spent $300 on worse?

 

I am happy you have found someone. I would imagine that most of the "buyers" aren't exactly hideous themselves - most of them seem to be nice-looking men over the age of 40 with good jobs, schedules that are way too busy, and a good flow of expendable income. Just because you are not model material doesn't mean you can't have a good sex life.

 

25 probably is too young to stop looking. It's just that in 25 years I have not been on a SINGLE date. That one experience I had took place in a hot tub at a gay resort. It wasn't complete, it just left me even more lonely.

 

I know that it's foolish to hire an escort and think, "Hey maybe if we hit it off, he'll become my boyfriend." Escorts provide a short fantasy and when it's over, it's over, but I'd rather have that than have nothing at all. Am I wrong?

 

The flannel thing is becasue I am a big grunge music fan and grunge music is associated with flannel. lol Silly, I know.

 

So, you identify as transgender? Does that mean you wear makeup,and dress as a woman? Just wondering.

 

 

At least it's good that you know your time with an escort will be fantasy, and that the chances of anything more happening between the two of you are incredibly slim...

 

And, believe me, I understand the being attracted to straight guys thing,ugh, that never works out.

[Guest Rich.]

I don't really know if I am attractive or not. I guess the best answer would be that there are days I feel too ugly to live...

 

Dolphin, mate, God-forbid you should have another second feeling like that (let alone days), but if you do, wander over to this Board and VENT. With a bit of luck Rick Munroe will be signed on. Jeez, you think you've got problems with the way you look? You so wouldn't want a peek at that first thing in the morning!

 

I'll also PM you.

 

Richard

[bigvalboy]

Hey Dolphin,

Great topic guys, I am in my.... well let's just say I am somewhere north of 40. I get hit on all the time in bars at the gym and these girls at work still tell me how cute I am. I realize now at this stage of my life that paying for it was probably not the best way for me.. My point is that I have been paying for sex my whole life, since I was 17. Don't get me wrong, there have been memorable and countless trips abroad, from Asia to Europe, and everywhere in between. Been there done that. Did I have a fabulous life and times, U bet...but now, I am as they say... alone.."Don't cry for me Argentina" I'm Too old for the young ones and too young for the old ones. Would I do it again...NO!!. I think in the end there have been some REALLY super guys that wanted a relationship with me, and I can't help but think how much more FULL my LIFE would be if I had taken a different road. Wow, I am actually a little teared eyed. For me paying for sex is usually empty emotionally. No matter what the connection is like and they say all the right things, in the end they go home to the boyfriend, and I go to sleep alone. Two years ago all of this stopped working for me and I stopped paying, I still get massages, but I am really looking for a relationship. And I really feel better about myself. You will do what you have to do, EVERYONE is different. Just be true to who you are.

[Guest thedolphinsofaugust]

OK. I have a question for you. Bette Davis or Lillian Gish?

 

Richard

 

Haha. You got it! I was thinking of movies with unique titles and I just thought of that as a screenname, then I replaced it with dolphins. Well, Bette Davis was so funny, and Lillian Gish, I don't know but she got the Oscar nomination for that movie. I never even saw the movie lol

[bigvalboy]

If I offended anyone here, I sincerely APLOGIZE..each of us is different, there are many out there that don't have any regrets, whatsoever..ok, I'll shutup now before someone really lays into me:)

[Guest thedolphinsofaugust]

So, you identify as transgender? Does that mean you wear makeup,and dress as a woman? Just wondering.

 

And, believe me, I understand the being attracted to straight guys thing,ugh, that never works out.

 

Well I did on an on-and-off basis last year to try and see what it was like. I thought I looked beautiful in the mirror but as time went on, I began to feel it would just never work. Some people said I passed, some didn't.

 

I was on estrogen for a little less than a year though and developed breasts - something to this day I have to bind back with an Ace bandage!

 

Which brings up another point I seemed to have missed: I guess I'll be wearing a T-shirt anytime I get laid. Otherwise I would be explaining to the escort more than I wanted to!

[Guest thedolphinsofaugust]

25 is definitely not too young. It is clear that you are too shy. Age has nothing to do with hiring an escort, but at 25 it does speak for you sexual maturity and your self confidence that you are still a virgin. Still a virgin at 25, you need a confidence boost and a taste of the good life, if you are ready for it and it sounds as though you are. I would suggest that you check through the NYC rent boy ads and select a few and come back to this site and ask about them. This will help you avoid the money hungry and the fakes. Once the posters here have an idea of your taste, we will be able to make some suggestions for you. I remember being 25 and I remember being a virgin. There is only one of them I would want to experience again. Your are in luck, you get to live the life of a 25 year old, but only if you take a deep breath, get out of your head and get into a bed with a hot man who will make you forget what was holding you back. Once you have that confidence from those initial professional encounters, start going out to meet other gay men. There are places other than bars to go. You have a wonderful and fulfilled life waiting for you. Do not waste another minute in self induced shame and terror.

 

Well thank you so much- everyone that replied - for your heartfelt advice - Who knew I'd find emotional support on a forum about escorts?

[Guest thedolphinsofaugust]

Dolphin, mate, God-forbid you should have another second feeling like that (let alone days), but if you do, wander over to this Board and VENT. With a bit of luck Rick Munroe will be signed on. Jeez, you think you've got problems with the way you look? You so wouldn't want a peek at that first thing in the morning!

 

I'll also PM you.

 

Richard

 

Are you from Australia, mate? ...and Rick Munroe. Isn't he an old porn star?

[+ purplekow]

bigvalboy No need to apologize. You were being truthful about your experience. No one was suggesting that the OP pay for sex and develop no other social outlets. It was suggested to him that he was not too young to hire and that once he was more assured, that he could face the world more confidently and ready to have a more traditional life of a 25 year old out gay man.

[uwsman2]

Dolphin, you would be surprised to learn that the guys who look so super hot and gorgeous and unapproachable frequently have their own obsessions over imagined or real flaws with their own bodies, or their own personality or intelligence. Some gorgeous guys are very shy, and they are not all brilliant. Most people have insecurities about how they look, and most of the things we guys obsess to ourselves about are things that nobody else notices!! It's shocking, actually.

 

OK, so 25 is not too young to hire, but it's also much too young to give up on finding a boyfriend or trick. I started "coming out" in my early 20s but found it very difficult to connect in bars (just about the only indoors outlet then). I didn't like the music, I don't like to drink, I hate smoke (and in my day bars were filled with smoke), and I felt uncomfortable, and people eventually told me that the reason I wasn't making out in the bars was because I looked so uncomfortable that people were just scared off -- and maybe even thought I was a plainclothes cop (yes, it was the 1970s, I was conservative looking by the standard of the day, and entrapment in bars was still a big scare). But eventually I did connect a few times and ultimately with a boyfriend who I'm still with after 30+ years (and that connection came when I was 27). But the kicker is that the sex in our relationship died down quickly and it became more companionable than sexual - so we made the typical "open relationship" agreement.

Although I had an occasional fling when younger, I eventually decided that the safer thing to do - since I had a partner with a relationship I wanted to keep and I was becoming increasingly prominent in the community - would be to hire escorts. So I actually started doing that pretty young, and most of my experiences have been positive, including forming some long-term relationships with escorts that extended over several years at a time (guys tend to drift in and out of this business). Some of the guys who I see once or twice a year now I've been seeing on that basis for several years, and getting together is really comfortable, like old friends. And then sometimes I try out somebody new, and that's always exciting.

In your case as a virtual virgin, my advice would be to stick it out a little longer to have some sexual adventures with guys where there is mutual attraction. No matter how hot an escort session is, there is always something hotter about a sexual act that doesn't involve money, just mutual attraction, and you really owe it to yourself to try to experience that. But if you find yourself totally craving that physical contact and connection of genital-insertive sex and the cruising is just not working, then do your research, as advised above, and hire somebody. And be totally upfront about how new you are to this and that you are looking for a guy who will take the lead and show you the ropes.... It may be that having gone through one or two such escort experiences you will gain the self-confidence to go out and meet some guys on your own. A reall skillful, experienced escort with the right attitude can leave you feeling like a million bucks, sexy, desired, and confident in your worth. But you've got to do your research to pick the right sort of guy for that experience.

Good luck...

[Guest thedolphinsofaugust]

Hey Dolphin,

Great topic guys, I am in my.... well let's just say I am somewhere north of 40. I get hit on all the time in bars at the gym and these girls at work still tell me how cute I am. I realize now at this stage of my life that paying for it was probably not the best way for me.. My point is that I have been paying for sex my whole life, since I was 17. Don't get me wrong, there have been memorable and countless trips abroad, from Asia to Europe, and everywhere in between. Been there done that. Did I have a fabulous life and times, U bet...but now, I am as they say... alone.."Don't cry for me Argentina" I'm Too old for the young ones and too young for the old ones. Would I do it again...NO!!. I think in the end there have been some REALLY super guys that wanted a relationship with me, and I can't help but think how much more FULL my LIFE would be if I had taken a different road. Wow, I am actually a little teared eyed. For me paying for sex is usually empty emotionally. No matter what the connection is like and they say all the right things, in the end they go home to the boyfriend, and I go to sleep alone. Two years ago all of this stopped working for me and I stopped paying, I still get massages, but I am really looking for a relationship. And I really feel better about myself. You will do what you have to do, EVERYONE is different. Just be true to who you are.

 

Aww, don't cry. I think all of us dream of having the perfect boyfriend- ... a man that we make footprints with in the sand, right?

 

I think little boys who are gay (and I believe that the seed is planted at birth for many) all dream of Prince Charming. (We'll have to start a Disney hunk thread to discover our childhood fantasies and whether they set us up for disappointment when we look for human hotties.)

 

There are days that even at 25 I wish I only had a few years left. I can't imagine living to 60 - that would mean 35 more years of this! I hate to hear that there are people over 40 even that are alone. By that time, I always thought you wouldn't have to look anymore.

 

All of this advice is superb

[Guest thedolphinsofaugust]

uwsman2, thank you for ur reply,

 

I also hate smoky bars and until recently a lot of bars weren't smoke-free. Gay bars turn off A LOT of gay men.

 

See, I'm a bit of a hermit. I don't even like stepping outside the door. I also have a little bit of Aspergers.

 

For me, hiring an escort takes care of the hard part. It allows me to meet with someone one-on-one in a private place (his hotel room) and get the experience that all of the people my age already got in college.

 

I did contact one escort but got no reply. He received one good review and one bad review on this site. Should I say his name (or would that be rude)?

[+ friendofsheila]

Hi, Dolph.

 

I don't think 25 is too young. Hiring at 28 helped me get some self-confidence with men and helped me learn about what I wanted from a man, sexually and otherwise, in a way that felt safe to me.

 

I admit it took a lot of gumption to do it the first time, and every time. That helped me, too, facing up to why I felt so anxious about it.

 

I hope you can find someone to help you along this path. Good luck!

[Guest Rich.]

If I offended anyone here, I sincerely APLOGIZE..each of us is different, there are many out there that don't have any regrets, whatsoever..ok, I'll shutup now before someone really lays into me:)

 

You've nothing to apologise for Bigvalboy, except your use of an American dic!

 

Richard

[Guest Rich.]

...and Rick Munroe. Isn't he an old porn star?

 

OK, I've texted my osteopath to help me recover from rolling around the floor, in the dead-ant position, crying with laughter. I'm guessing my alter-ego will have taken care of the Dignitas booking.

 

Richard

[Guest thedolphinsofaugust]

OK, I've texted my osteopath to help me recover from rolling around the floor, in the dead-ant position, crying with laughter. I'm guessing my alter-ego will have taken care of the Dignitas booking.

 

Richard

 

TO quote Karen Walker, I've never heard of any of those words lol.

[Guest Rich.]

Great Dolphin, bait, bail or blow huh?

 

Richard

[Decatur Guy]

I think hiring the right escort is just the medicine you need. I think a good sexual encounter (or two or three) would be just the confidence boost you need.

 

Like the others said, 25 is too young to give up on love or just finding a good fuck bud.

 

Since you're interested in bottom, go with a versatile/top or top only escort, explain your situation and go with one who specializes in the "boyfriend" experience.

[Guest thedolphinsofaugust]

I think hiring the right escort is just the medicine you need. I think a good sexual encounter (or two or three) would be just the confidence boost you need.

 

Like the others said, 25 is too young to give up on love or just finding a good fuck bud.

 

Since you're interested in bottom, go with a versatile/top or top only escort, explain your situation and go with one who specializes in the "boyfriend" experience.

 

That would be great (: