Elucidating thoughts

[gcursor]

I know this was discussed before but I'm interested in asking it again. My method of communication with people I want to see is typically email and the time is usually an overnight or longer.

 

However for the longest time, I've been wrestling with how to discuss certain things via email that happen inside/outside the bedroom....I mean I feel as though that is not something "socially acceptable" by some on both sides of the fence. And then there are some that take the descriptions to the nth degree but there should be a happy medium, isn't there?

 

Further, I'm very shy when I meet guys behind closed doors and don't usually initiate anything unless they do first.

 

So my questions: how do you deal with communicating what you want from somebody via email and

 

when you meet them, how do you ease into something with them?

gc

[jgoo]

Over time I have developed a way of communicating my interests with an escort that seems to work for me. First of all, you should be prepared to explain, in a respectful but direct way, what your expectations are as you are the client and satisfying your needs should be the focus of an escort (assuming they treat escorting in a professional way).

 

Some general things I try to do are as follows:

 

1. Keep it relatively short email, a couple paragraphs of reasonable length. So be concise and to the point.

2. I am respectful and do my best not to be crude or so explicit that it comes across as someone who is just writing to get themselves off (comes off as not a serious potential client).

3. Really understand in your own mind what are the critical things that you must have in the meeting (inside and outside the bedroom) to have a great and truly satisfying time. Use that as a basis to say what you enjoy and then ask if they have any issues or hesitation with those things.

4. Ask what they enjoy, what their preferences are and any limits they may have that they feel you should be aware of before hand in order to avoid any awkwardness during the meeting. Make it clear your objective is for both of you to have an enjoyable time together.

5. Be clear that it is difficult for you to initiate things and that you would like for them, once they feel comfortable with you and who you are, to take the lead. That is a very reasonable request to make and I believe most (professional) escorts would understand that.

 

Sometimes it may take a couple of email exchanges to get to the point of going into details as it may take a bit for the escort to gain some confidence that I am serious so at some point, depending on how the exchange goes, I will express my expectations.

 

I am sure others may have other things to add or a different approach. For me, I find the above guideline works well.

[seeker630]

Over time I have developed a way of communicating my interests with an escort that seems to work for me. First of all, you should be prepared to explain, in a respectful but direct way, what your expectations are as you are the client and satisfying your needs should be the focus of an escort (assuming they treat escorting in a professional way).

 

Some general things I try to do are as follows:

 

1. Keep it relatively short email, a couple paragraphs of reasonable length. So be concise and to the point.

2. I am respectful and do my best not to be crude or so explicit that it comes across as someone who is just writing to get themselves off (comes off as not a serious potential client).

3. Really understand in your own mind what are the critical things that you must have in the meeting (inside and outside the bedroom) to have a great and truly satisfying time. Use that as a basis to say what you enjoy and then ask if they have any issues or hesitation with those things.

4. Ask what they enjoy, what their preferences are and any limits they may have that they feel you should be aware of before hand in order to avoid any awkwardness during the meeting. Make it clear your objective is for both of you to have an enjoyable time together.

5. Be clear that it is difficult for you to initiate things and that you would like for them, once they feel comfortable with you and who you are, to take the lead. That is a very reasonable request to make and I believe most (professional) escorts would understand that.

 

Sometimes it may take a couple of email exchanges to get to the point of going into details as it may take a bit for the escort to gain some confidence that I am serious so at some point, depending on how the exchange goes, I will express my expectations.

 

I am sure others may have other things to add or a different approach. For me, I find the above guideline works well.

 

I was goign to respond to the OP but I think jgoo has done an excellent job of providing guidelines and there's not much for me to add. I think points #3 & 4 are the most critical.

Two-way communication is key, and I too find this easier to do via email than face-to-face. And doing it beforehand should ensure that no one is surprised by unexpoected demands or unmet expectations.

[instudiocity]

I'm very shy when I meet guys behind closed doors and don't usually initiate anything unless they do first.

PSST... gcursor ... once you're behind closed doors with an escort, he already knows WHAT you want, he just needs to know HOW you want it.

 

Go ahead and talk to him. He's excited to find out!

[Steven_Draker]

I'm very shy ... don't usually initiate anything unless they do first.

 

I think that's a common problem not only to you but many others. For some reason many are afraid to talk in person about their intimate desires and wishes or even talk on the phone about them prior to the meeting. Try to relax, be more open and direct and if it's still difficult to express them in person, communicating them in an email prior to the meeting would be a good idea. You might want to send a reminder to the escort the day before the meeting to jog his memory.

[gcursor]

Thanks for the responses thus far. This has now started to teach me the advantages of hiring people and becoming a repeat customer..

gc

[wayout]

I think that's a common problem not only to you but many others. For some reason many are afraid to talk in person about their intimate desires and wishes or even talk on the phone about them prior to the meeting. Try to relax, be more open and direct and if it's still difficult to express them in person, communicating them in an email prior to the meeting would be a good idea. You might want to send a reminder to the escort the day before the meeting to jog his memory.[/color]

 

The best way, from my experience, to overcome a fear is to face it head on. Not easy but usually pays off well in the end if persistent. Start off simple, call the escort and give some indication of what you are looking for but then say you will follow up with a more detailed email. Over time and with more escorts, shift the communication more phone and less email. May not be successful for everyone but worth giving it a shot to see if you can overcome your fear. No matter what, do your best to address everything before the meeting so limit disappointment. One of the side benefits of talking to somone on the phone before meeting is that there is more of a connection made than with emails (in my opionion) and the first meeting is a bit more comfortable for all involved.