Do escorts fall in love with clients?

[ChiTown]

An escort walks a fine line with a client between fulfilling a fantasy and reality breaking in. Its much easier to have that fantasy for short stints that don't require sharing the day to day. But to truly be a friend you have to give the friendship. Be prepared and willing to lose the fantasy and that it may never be able to be recovered. Its a very difficult choice to make.

 

Thanks TC . . . a true and realistic assessment. I, for one, am looking for acceptance and eventually friendship from an escort if I like them. I guess that I've always been a bit of a "pleaser" and want to feel that I'm appreciated and possibly attractive to an escort.

[BgMstr4u]

Thanks, Steven, and thank you, others as well, especially Peterhung. A great thread!

 

I enter every first encounter with an escort aware of how much of a klutz I am, and with memories of how I have sometimes just screwed up what could be something good. I once made an appointment with a guy whose self-presentation was just great and whose phone presence was even better. The way he had structured his online self, I was easily led to his professional website (he was an actor), and of course I read that material. Which made me all the more eager to meet him, since he was a person of greater depth than I had expected. As we were having the first-time first chat, I mentioned that I had read his professional material and how much I had liked it. He totally freaked, said he wasn't comfortable having me there, and asked me to leave. It probably set me back two years in the escort world. I mention this because I have become extra vigilant about boundaries since, which has probably prevented developing a more personal relationship. I have met some escorts who just took my heart away, physically of course, but also personally, and I wanted to act on it -- not falling in love, but just letting more positive energy flow -- and haven't trusted myself enough to do it. Who knows what I have missed.

 

My guess is that I'm not the only person who comes into these encounters with some emotional baggage. Thank God for people like you, Steve, who are conscious of these dynamics, and who let some of us in in appropriate ways.

[ChiTown]

I once made an appointment with a guy whose self-presentation was just great and whose phone presence was even better. The way he had structured his online self, I was easily led to his professional website (he was an actor), and of course I read that material. Which made me all the more eager to meet him, since he was a person of greater depth than I had expected. As we were having the first-time first chat, I mentioned that I had read his professional material and how much I had liked it. He totally freaked, said he wasn't comfortable having me there, and asked me to leave. It probably set me back two years in the escort world.

 

Thanks for relating your story, BGMstr. Our attempts to get to know and better understand an escort can be misinerpreted as being invasive and having "crossed the line".

[nate_sf]

Thanks for relating your story, BGMstr. Our attempts to get to know and better understand an escort can be misinerpreted as being invasive and having "crossed the line".

 

I think this aspect of "crossing the line" requires a lot of intuition on the part of both the client and the escort, and I think where that line is drawn varies with each relationship. There is one guy who I've been seeing periodically for years now and really care for, but to this day I don't know whether he is in a relationship, and if he is whether the relationship is with a man or a woman. Somehow I just don't feel it's right to ask. Maybe I'm holding back too much, but something tells me if he wanted me to know, he would tell me. With other clients, on the other hand, we're talking in detail about their relationships with their significant others the first time we meet. There's a comfort level that needs to be measured.

 

BgMstr4u, I would not allow that first experience get you down too much. The escort could have just as easily been flattered and want to talk all about his acting work. You had no way of knowing what his reaction would be, and it sounds like his reaction is his own baggage. Odds are your next encounter with an escort will be different and better, and it will wash away the bad feelings from that first time. You can put that first experience behind you as a "live and learn" moment.

[+ stevenkesslar]

So Steven, when you said you loved me it was all a lie, a terrible terrible lie. I should have suspected when NYC fell off your map. Ah well, better to have loved and lost...or is it. Robert Flack sang it best, well almost like this:

 

I though you had a great dong, I thought you had a style, and so I came to see you, and fuck with you for awhile, I screamed when I finished but you just kept right on, Pumping my face with your hot ass, drawing me in with your words, killing me firmly with your dong, killing me firmly with your dong. Filling my whole room with your sex, killing me firmly with your dong.

 

Hey Purplekow:

 

Sorry I haven't been to New York in a few years. It's that darn old economy.

 

But if I do cum out there, will you sing this great song you wrote to me naked with your hard on up my ass? :-)

[+ stevenkesslar]

Steven -- Beautifully written and expressed. And it seems, to me at least, the blend perfectlyl with a post I made a little over a week ago on another thread. I'd love to know if you agree:

 

I certainly do. What you said was very eloquent.

 

I actually ran out of space in my post. I was going on so long, and the site is limited to 10,000 words, which of course should be plenty. But another thing I had in what I first wrote is that last year was just a sucky year. I invested my ***** money wisely, in real estate, which worked great when the economy was rocking. And I didn't get into any bubble markets, at least until well after they had collapsed. But regardless last year everything just seemed to be going down, down, down, and there seemed to be an endless run of expensive problems and things to fix. It wasn't overwhelming, but sometimes it felt that way.

 

What partly motivated what I wrote is that more than anyone, my long term clients helped me to get through that emotionally. And a lot of it had to do with age, life experience, and business expertise, but also the same things you get from a good friend that you ticked off in your comments: I’m concerned for your welfare, I want you to be happy, do well, be content, get everything you want out of life, suffer no harm. I want to comfort you when you hurt, celebrate with you when you triumph, uplift when you are down, make you laugh to brighten your day, and provide an ear to listen when you just need to talk. Because I’m emotionally connected to you.

 

I'm more used to clients being emotionally dependent on me than me being emotionally dependent on clients, and it was an interesting and in some ways nice thing to feel them, in effect, catch me when I felt I was falling.

 

The other thing thats been commented on is the notion that friendship has to be given, and thats so true. I have had situations where I tried to be friends with clients and it didn't quite work, and its the same reasons that any intimate human relationship typically fails - poor communication, unstated or unrealistic expectations. Where it has worked, I think it is some combination of intiution (the things not said) but also some really clear communication about what we can or can't do for each other. Trying to force yourself or your needs on someone, or vice versa, never really works.

[+ purplekow]

Hey Purplekow:

 

Sorry I haven't been to New York in a few years. It's that darn old economy.

 

But if I do cum out there, will you sing this great song you wrote to me naked with your hard on up my ass? :-)

 

Wow, now that is a request I could not conceive of turning down but only if you would accompany me on the organ.

[Guest greatness]

Yes Tom that is indeed true but we tend to choose what are easy and pleasing. One that gives me peace and hope is that the truth will prevail. It's only matter of time. Thanks for your nice comment.

 

And only you can answer it for you.

[CF]

Well done, Steven. I have actively been seeing escorts for about 10 years, and most of what you wrote about I have reflected on over those years. It's so nice to hear from the other side of the coin, and your feelings put into words were a nice reminder on taking a common sense approach to reality. Many of the encounters I have had, have indeed flourished into friendships of the best kind. Kudos, CF

[bcohen7719]

Do escorts fall in love with clients? Well....

 

I certainly do. What you said was very eloquent.

 

I actually ran out of space in my post. I was going on so long, and the site is limited to 10,000 words, which of course should be plenty. But another thing I had in what I first wrote is that last year was just a sucky year. I invested my ***** money wisely, in real estate, which worked great when the economy was rocking. And I didn't get into any bubble markets, at least until well after they had collapsed. But regardless last year everything just seemed to be going down, down, down, and there seemed to be an endless run of expensive problems and things to fix. It wasn't overwhelming, but sometimes it felt that way.

 

What partly motivated what I wrote is that more than anyone, my long term clients helped me to get through that emotionally. And a lot of it had to do with age, life experience, and business expertise, but also the same things you get from a good friend that you ticked off in your comments: I’m concerned for your welfare, I want you to be happy, do well, be content, get everything you want out of life, suffer no harm. I want to comfort you when you hurt, celebrate with you when you triumph, uplift when you are down, make you laugh to brighten your day, and provide an ear to listen when you just need to talk. Because I’m emotionally connected to you.

 

I'm more used to clients being emotionally dependent on me than me being emotionally dependent on clients, and it was an interesting and in some ways nice thing to feel them, in effect, catch me when I felt I was falling.

 

The other thing thats been commented on is the notion that friendship has to be given, and thats so true. I have had situations where I tried to be friends with clients and it didn't quite work, and its the same reasons that any intimate human relationship typically fails - poor communication, unstated or unrealistic expectations. Where it has worked, I think it is some combination of intiution (the things not said) but also some really clear communication about what we can or can't do for each other. Trying to force yourself or your needs on someone, or vice versa, never really works.

 

______________________________

This sounds more like a de-eroticized relationship, which is fine (even potentially wonderful). It sounds more likely that the client has been with the escort enough times that any residual fantasies have dripped away, and other types of bonding take hold. I don't personally have enough experience to venture whether this happens in the real world. Personally, I'd not be be able to resist the skills of an escort who might wish to change direction. It doesn't sound like the most respected escorts on this forum would even have that mindset, but this might fit the bill for others, especially if they were in dire financial situation not of their own choosing.

 

Wasn't this, in part, the storyline in the hetero, wicked parallel universe in the movie "Moulin Rouge"?

 

[video=youtube;uFm1LYLL_-c]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFm1LYLL_-c

[LookingAround]

As a client, I can't speak to an escort falling in love, but a regular masseur of mine became a regular FB aside from our massage sessions, and even comes over and spends the night fairly frequently. Not falling in love, but certainly more than the usual masseur/client thing.

[Rod Hagen]

The best strategy: stay single and see the world (thrice) right up until what are likely the last seven or so years of your life. At that point fall hopelessly in love and die both fulfilled AND worldly, rather than just one.

 

I've realized this too late.

 

I'd give anything to have devoted these relationship years to traveling and exploring. There's time enough for love later on. Steven, you're doing fine.

[Guest TBinCHI]

The best strategy: stay single and see the world (thrice) right up until what are likely the last seven or so years of your life. At that point fall hopelessly in love and die both fulfilled AND worldly, rather than just one.

 

I've realized this too late.

 

I'd give anything to have devoted these relationship years to traveling and exploring. There's time enough for love later on. Steven, you're doing fine.

 

All of us can look at our lives in hindsight and wish that we had done something differently. The problem with your current thought Rod is that none of us know when the last seven years will begin. I have learned not to regret the choices that I've made, but to use the wisdom I've gained to make better choices in the present. One thing that I have learned is that if love comes along, embrace it because you don't know if it will come again. At the same time, don't sit around waiting for it - the more that you are out exploring and travelling and having adventures, the more likely you are to be happy with the choices you are making, whether or not eventually there is time for love.