0-2 on massage. Advice on how to avoid these mistakes in the future?

[hot_tk28]

Ok, I'm a relative newcomer to private massage (having gone to spas and getting mainly legit massages with the occasional happy surprise. But I recently had two really bad experiences back-to-back with sensual nude massage (actually they are my only two experiences of the kind). I don't know if I should name names here or not because these aren't meant as reviews, but as my own experience that I'd like to not repeat.

 

One guy looked mostly like his pix on Masseurfiner, and gave a decent therapeutic massage, but when it came time for me to turn over, he dropped his underwear, started jerking me off and mounted the table, turned my head and put his cock in my mouth (I had said in email that I wanted a sensual, not sexual, session). I pulled back and he did it again. It was freaky! I couldn't get my clothes on fast enough.

 

The other guy has 35 reviews on Massage M4M and I swear he's written most of them himself- his pictures are at least 10 years old (and 50 lbs ago). His "beautiful new massage studio with private shower" was a tiny studio apartment, the leg pillow was a throw pillow from his daybed, and the shower was filthy. He poured cold KY lube on my body as "lotion" and he spent more time between my legs than anywhere on my body. He wanted me to jack him off (kept putting my hand on his cock) and told me I could suck him of if I wanted (again, I had said in email that I didn't want a sexual encounter). When my release came, he used two tissues to get some of it off my chest and then told me I could get cleaned up in the bathroom.

 

So, you can see, I'm a little gun shy about sensual massage (or any massage, really) outside of a spa. The pix, stats, and descriptions on the sites I've used have both been false, and they didn't really talk it out beforehand, which is partially my fault I guess. I just don't want to repeat that, especially if I'm spending the same amount (if not more) than if I went to a spa. But I *do* want to find someone who is what they seem to be on their profiles. How do you go about asking about recent pix or setting boundaries? Neither guy seemed very interested in talking much beforehand, especially when they started and saw my dick (I'm lucky to be well-endowed, but get hard when naked).

 

Help/tips greatly appreciated. And if you want the IDs of the people (especially the 2nd guy) PM me or people can let me know it's okay to post his profile.

[instudiocity]

Please tell us where you are, geographically...

[josephga]

Ok, I'm a relative newcomer to private massage (having gone to spas and getting mainly legit massages with the occasional happy surprise. But I recently had two really bad experiences back-to-back with sensual nude massage (actually they are my only two experiences of the kind). I don't know if I should name names here or not because these aren't meant as reviews, but as my own experience that I'd like to not repeat.

 

One guy looked mostly like his pix on Masseurfiner, and gave a decent therapeutic massage, but when it came time for me to turn over, he dropped his underwear, started jerking me off and mounted the table, turned my head and put his cock in my mouth (I had said in email that I wanted a sensual, not sexual, session). I pulled back and he did it again. It was freaky! I couldn't get my clothes on fast enough.

 

IMO you were sexually assaulted . Iv had clients tell me story's like this a number of times. When I was an advertiser on masseur finder and massage m4m in sent both sites my paper work so i could receive a special icon on my page stating verified certified. there's allot of guys on those sites that claim training and certification that are lying. Some of them think they can give massages to make a easy buck or some lost their regular job and decided to give massages.. some have drug problems and do massage to finance their next fix.

[hot_tk28]

In New York

 

Please tell us where you are, geographically...

 

I'm in New York

[+ glutes]

Name names!

[josephga]

I'm in New York

 

well there is something you can do about it. ill pm you if you wish too know what

[hot_tk28]

Name names!

 

I'll PM them to you if anyone wants them.

[josephga]

I had a client pull similar crap on me once I tell everyone that my massages contain no oral or anal contact. he gets on the table grabs the elastic around my gym pants yanks them down and tries to stick my dick in his mouth. I said no. then when he turned over he tried in a again. I looked at him and said in a firm voice do it do it stick my dick in your mouth after iv said no twice and you will never eat solid food again. nothing kills the moment better lol

[hot_tk28]

I really hate that you can't confirm the pictures or what they look like until you are there. And then it's "Surprise!"

 

In the two experiences I had, it also seemed more like the "masseurs" wanted to please themselves as much if not more than me- like my massage experience was secondary and I should be so lucky to pay them for this.

[josephga]

I always took new pics ever 4 to 6 months i figured a person doesn't change that much in 6 months. I agree a masseur has no business trying to please themselves. And A client has no business trying to please a masseur its suppose to be about giving the client touch. One problem is that people are conditioned to believe that its selfish to receive touch and give nothing back in return. That might ring true if its your wife, husband, bf, gf or partner. But that's not the case with massage, Massage is the rare case where you can lay back put yourself in someone else hands and receive touch without any obligation to offer anything in return. The guy that put his dick in your mouth is a troll and has no business being in business. same thing goes to clients that pull these types of things as well

[Diverdan]

Sorry you had that experience, especially since there are some terrific masseurs in NYC that respect boundaries, but can give you excellent sensual and erotic massage. I'll send you a PM with a couple of my favorites later today or tonight.

[Guest Rocky LaBarre Big Buddy]

What happened to you was wrong. Follow up w/ a review of them both.

Guy #1 was a douche who had no respect.

 

Guy #2 was a Troll...and a douche.

If you're laying out say $100 for a good quality massage with an athletic 30 yr old, you don't have to continue if the guy answering the door is a round 40 yr old.

 

Pics can be reasonably be up to 3 years old for an older masseur. 3 - 12 mo for a younger masseur. (Because a 20 year old can look much different at 23 where a 30 year old won't at 33.)

Being plus or minus 10 lbs vs your pic is still "reasonable". People aren't robots and masseurs celebrate the Holidays too. But no more than 10 lbs.

Then the masseur has to whip out the camera. (I change miy pics every 3 -9 months b/c that seems to be my shooting schedule.)

 

 

-If a masseur's reviews look like they were all written by him there's a reason. That's a Red Flag.

-If a masseur's pic misrepresented him, you see that at the door. Go home! It's a BIG RED FLAG!

 

Masseur #2 "kind of" looked like the masseur in the ad.

The same way his cute apt w/ a clean shower "kind of" wasn't. (another red flag, btw)

The same way the rest of the massage was "kind of" awful.

 

My friend...

 

1) PAY ATTENTION to red flags. (You had plenty.)

 

2) LEAVE a bad situation.

You could have walked out at any time.

 

Here is the dividing line:

The moment you recognise that you're not getting what you actually signed on for, but stayed anyway...

That's the point you signed up for what he was actually giving.

 

From that point on you're now getting what you're paying for.

It's not fair and he was sneaky but there it is.

By staying you're saying" "I'm in."

So don't.

 

If everyone who came to his door said, "You are 50 pounds bigger and 10 years older than your pic, Good Bye!"

 

He might get new pics and go back to the gym...

Or better yet be forced to find a job that he can actually do well.

 

I hope I helped.

[josephga]

Iv been lucky when it comes too getting massages for myself iv never had a bad massage however in 13 years of getting massages iv only been to 5 or 6 people

[adriano46]

The first experience here mentioned above sounds VERY familiar. I met a guy also on Masseurfinder, and was more interested in a normal regular maybe a tiny bit sensual massage.

 

The apartment had a distinctive bad odor - is if he had just quickly taken a massive enema before my arrival and had bad circulation of air.

 

The table was there but not a good one. I stripped and climbed on on my stomach and he began but before long he was pushing his dick in my face very forcefully.

 

I have a bad neck (reason behind the massage) and he kept twisting it and forcing his dick (which was NOT that clean) into my mouth. It was an awful experience and one I never plan to repeat. He is not often reviewed and the photos are a bit out of date tho his body is like a runner's.

[josephga]

I started getting into massage after i suffered a fall that left me with chronic shoulder pain. I contacted local gyms for recommendations. I never liked spa's I went to spa sydell in Atlanta and found the massages to be more fluff and buff and not deep enough for my liking. After that I found my massage therapist by calling on local gyms, every guy i used not only had a certification and license in massage but also ace certified or other in personal training increasing their knowledge of the human body. Iv only hired 1 guy off massage m4m and i checked out his licensing b4 hand. If you buy massage from someone that's not certified they can actually create a neck or back injury. iv had clients in the past who came to me to correct problems caused by seeing guys with no real training

[Midweststudentnyc]

Why do I think he's probably talking about

http://www.massagem4m.com/ny/new-york-city/13109/

 

We NYCers really should start a thread about masseurs who look nothing like their photos

[RockHard]

What the fuck!

 

Midweststudentnyc, I think it's pretty outrageous that you decided to play hot_tk28's silly guessing game and trash a well-reviewed, legit massage therapist by suspicion and innuendo. If you had a bad experience with Kevin, (who doesn't advertise sex, who doesn't post nude photos of himself, and offers 7 images that clearly show the same guy) then I suggest you write a review or share your full experience with everyone. What you did is very destructive. If you have a complaint about someone, there is a far more productive way to critique than the cheesy, below-the-belt method you employed.

 

As for hot_tk28's OP, if you're going to complain about a massage service (or two) and not tell the board who you're criticizing, then I suggest you keep your mystery games and need for PM's to yourself. Most intelligent people who participate here know the difference between a conversation about a disappointing experience and a review. If you don't, then I suggest you write Daddy for guidance. Everyone here spends their hard-earned money looking for an honest, pleasurable experience. To talk about experiences in the negative abstract, teasing everyone with their fear of disappointment, fear of wasting money, and their desire to know more, is nothing more than control-freak manipulation. When someone tries to control me or manipulate me, I say go fuck yourself.

[+ glutes]

The apartment had a distinctive bad odor - is if he had just quickly taken a massive enema before my arrival and had bad circulation of air.

He is not often reviewed and the photos are a bit out of date tho his body is like a runner's.

 

If I walked into a massuers venue and it had the scent of a massive enema, I would politely leave.

[Midweststudentnyc]

Wow, what passion. Well, Kevin needs new photos and has put on considerable weight. And while he is an excellent masseur, with great technique and table, he no longer closely resembles those photos. But you'll be happy to know I did PM the original poster. That said, perhaps I will put my cheesy and manipulative time into the thread I mentioned earlier.

[RockHard]

Did he really look like Porky the Pig?

 

Wow, what passion.

 

I tend to be passionate about a man's character and doing the right thing.

 

Well, Kevin needs new photos and has put on considerable weight. And while he is an excellent masseur, with great technique and table, he no longer closely resembles those photos.

 

That may be true but we have no way of knowing for sure unless we see him ourselves. 10 pounds to one man is a 40-pound-erection-killer to a man who hates fatties. Furthermore, if a massage therapist heavily promotes himself as a "happy ending" kind of guy, then I think it's fair to criticize old photos or a dramatic change in appearance. On the other hand, I fail to see what weight gain would have to do with the quality of a totally legit massage sold as a totally legit massage. I get the fantasy/desire aspect of the massage experience but, in a legit massage, how much of the therapist do the customers actually see?

 

I noticed two gym members last week that I've checked out before but haven't seen in awhile. It's possible I played with both guys six or more months ago. Both had gained at least ten or more pounds. I immediately thought to myself they must have had an indulgent holiday season, a fairly common thing to notice in January. The point is, the weight gain didn't change what I thought was sexy about them in the first place. The weight gain would not prevent me from sexual play with them again. If you're hiring a "licensed" massage therapist who does not offer any aspect of sex in his ad, why would "considerable weight" gain matter? Does a 10 pound weight gain kill the eyes-closed fantasy?

 

Now, if the therapist is carrying 50 pounds or more than his pictures indicate and if you hate fatties of any kind, then I could understand making a stink about this surprise on a public board. However, it would be far kinder to mention your prejudices before you suggest anything negative about the therapist. Midweststudentnyc, I commend you for clarifying your opinion in your most recent post.

 

I've never been to "bliss" Kevin but I admit the positive reviews (many raves) have aroused my curiosity. And since I care more about the quality of the massage than I do about any sex act, I doubt a 10-20 pound weight gain would matter much to me (even though I agree, false advertising is never a good thing). Again, Midweststudentnyc, I'm grateful for your most recent post.

[+ Italiano]

Wow, what passion. Well, Kevin needs new photos and has put on considerable weight. And while he is an excellent masseur, with great technique and table, he no longer closely resembles those photos. .

 

I have TOTALLY to agree with Midwestestudentnyc!

[+ Italiano]

 

I've never been to "bliss" Kevin but I admit the positive reviews (many raves) have aroused my curiosity. And since I care more about the quality of the massage than I do about any sex act, I doubt a 10-20 pound weight gain would matter much to me (even though I agree, false advertising is never a good thing). Again, Midweststudentnyc, I'm grateful for your most recent post.

 

In Kevin's case, I would say a good 30-35 pounds from the ad pics. And not of muscles.

And for some reason I admit that reading the description of things in hot_tk28's post I thought about Kevin too, before even reading Midweststudent's comment.

[adriano46]

Glutes, I should have. I chalked it up to an old apartment (it was somewhere in the mid-50's west side) and worse... I had to climb some 5 or 6 floors as the elevator was out... all around a bad experience. Photos are not current, and the guy came across as a foreign skin head punk dominating type -- something that definately does nothing for me. My neck was sore for days afterwards, until I found a truly great (and professional) masseur who fixed me up (in more ways than one).

[Midweststudentnyc]

On the other hand, I fail to see what weight gain would have to do with the quality of a totally legit massage sold as a totally legit massage. I get the fantasy/desire aspect of the massage experience but, in a legit massage, how much of the therapist do the customers actually see?

 

I think it's pretty clear from Kevin's ad that advertises a "sensual" massage and used the most convoluted terms imaginable to let the reader imagine a handjob "offers acro-stretch positional release-in-motion for you that exceeds your expectations" -- that it is not a legit and sterile experience

 

And, for many of us, when you are advertising an erotic environment (and upcharge that it often brings) we expect to receive the visuals we are sold.

[RockHard]

Testing vision.

 

I think it's pretty clear from Kevin's ad that (he) advertises a "sensual" massage

I have a 30-year career in advertising and the only thing that's clear to me in Kevin's ad is that he loves yoga. In Kevin's MasseurFinder ad, the word "sensual" appears nowhere. Under Offering, the only service listed is Therapeutic Massage. Under Techniques, he lists no sex-charged words. The same is true for his Modalities list. He doesn't even say he will execute his massage in the nude. Of all the ads that appear on MassageM4M and MassuerFinder, Kevin's ad copy uses the least number of sexually-charged words. Also, no nude photographs are offered.

 

Kevin was heavily reviewed from his days in Miami, which is where I was considering giving him a try. Many reviewers claimed there was no sex. Many insisted all you could expect from him was a great legit massage. There were a few guys who suggested something more happened but the suggestions were very discreet. With such discretion, I suspected Kevin is like a great many gay "legit" massage therapists: if they are attracted to the customer and the customer gets hard during the massage, chemistry and horniness could lead the massage elsewhere. Sex acts are never guaranteed.

 

Frankly, I think the word sensual is a joke. Any massage is sensual by default. The customer is naked and another person's bare hands are touching you. Give me a break. However, sensual is not sexual. Sensual does not suggest a handjob is forthcoming. Some people need to get their face out of porn and get their fantasies under control.

 

In Kevin's case, I would say a good 30-35 pounds from the ad pics.

30-35 pounds is a substantial weight gain and the added density can change a person's looks. Given that Kevin advertises on MassageM4M and MassuerFinder, which means he's clearly marketing his services to mostly horny gay men looking for a rub-n-tug, he should be mindful of the many gay men who are intensely turned off by added weight surprises.

 

Disdain for chubs is very evident where the action takes place in my gym. If you're not slim, tight, and firm, many gay men will leave the steam room if you enter naked looking for play. I think the same is true for hairy versus shaved. If a massage therapist markets his services with hairless photos, and he decides to let his hair grow out and not change his ad photos, he risks turning off a gay customer who booked an appointment but hates body hair. In the service business, it's important to pay attention to gay sensitivities if that's the type of customer you want to serve.