Question for escorts who are total tops or usually top ...

[Decatur Guy]

What qualities do you like in bottom? What makes a good bottom in a client for you?

 

I know there's the being clean, inside and out. That's a given. But what can bottom clients do that will help excite you and make things better for both guys?

[Bob]

Thank you for this question. I've been a life-long top who is moving to the other side of the street and I want to be the best one in town. I want men lined up for blocks to get a piece of me.

[doitb4ugo]

Thanks for the question, DG. As a bottom who hires, I've never gotten an escort to answer that question. While I generally can give some feedback to my regular hires, I have asked and never received such feedback as of yet from them...perhaps afraid that true feedback is not what I want to hear....

 

I hope some escorts respond and let us guys who want to be better have some tips (of a different type).

[Juan Vancouver]

I think this is a great question, and as with other questions, you will get as many "right" answers as people answer it.

 

In my case, I go "Whoa!" with a bottom when:

 

He makes an effort to clean himself. (Even if sometimes it doesn't work perfectly.) I really love it when a bottom will calmly and playfully take his cleanliness on his own hands before and during play. Sometimes we get uncomfortable when we realize we are not as clean as we thought, and sometimes we pretend that we are not noticing, trying to save us the vexing option of acknowledging reality and doing something about it. To put it shortly: Get acquainted with the douching techniques that work best for you and do your best, and during play if you think you have to touch up, relax, make a joke about it and do it.

 

When he has made an effort to understand that he is the one in control of his own ass, when he has played with himself regularly, when he knows how to tighten up or relax, when he knows which lube works best for him, when he understands that the one that will make it happen is him. (As opposed to the common misconception that a top will make it happen.)

 

I have a very thick cock and it is very sensitive, which is why I LOVE it when an ass is relaxed, and wet, and sloppy... the looser, the better. I know many people think that a tight ass is what is desirable but I know that often the big dicked boys love it when you can take it without much fuzz. An ass that can relax and take it as deep, as hard, for as long as the top wants to give it... but at the same time can tighten itself at will. I love it when my bottom is "listening" to my cock with his ass, noticing what gives me pleasure and telling me clearly what gives him pleasure.

 

I love it when a bottom or a partner in general has a sense of curiosity and playfulness and is willing to try new fun things, while at the same time being articulate and brave when communicating about what is not working for him.

 

Personally I like a bottom who will understand that I am the top and that I will do the fucking. I like it when a bottom relaxes and offers himself and lets me do my thing, lets me turn him around, fucking in whatever angle I want, as hard, as deep, as fast or as slow as I want, and is appreciative about it. I like a bottom who is clear about what he prefers me to avoid but then is receptive to what I have to offer. Nothing hotter (for me) than a bottom that simply relaxes, breathes deeply and surrenders to the experience. As opposed as bottoms who will keep shouting instructions, will push or pull constantly with legs, hands or body, or bottoms who will fuck themselves. (Not that that is wrong, I just really enjoy a receptive bottom.)

 

Lastly, both for bottoms or tops or for anything, really, I love it when my partner is present and relaxed, fully inhabiting his own body and appreciating the interaction between us. Sex is one of those things that brings all our stress and complexes to the surface and very often when we feel uncomfortable because of that we tend to go to our heads and live the experience through our mind instead of through our body. When we do that we tend to try to act up scripts previously planned, we narrate the action, we qualify it, we tend to "want more", or think we want something else, even before we had the chance to fully appreciate what is happening in that very moment. The opposite of this is when we are relaxed, breathing deeply, making eye contact and having a great time.

 

In other words,

 

Prepare and hope for the best

 

Own your own body

 

Relax and breathe

 

Communicate and set your boundaries clearly, but...

 

Be receptive and trust your top

 

Take it easy... it's just sex

 

Have fun!

 

 

 

I realize that by writing about this in such detail it could look as if this is the ultimate guide to good bottoming while this is just a list of my personal preferences. I know that many like pushy bottoms or tight, almost virginal asses, some love constant narration of elaborate mental scenarios, I just personally prefer something else.

 

Also, I understand that as an escort I have a dual role as both educator-trainer and partner. As a partner I have preferences, but as an educator and facilitator I have the responsibility (and the honor) of helping people understand what is it that tick their fancy and make them feel fulfilled and happy. Many men with whom I have worked have been entirely disconnected with their own bodies and through the work we did together they became masters of their own pleasure. I find this kind of interaction incredibly fulfilling and exciting, and ultimately this is one of the biggest reasons for which I enjoy escorting so much.

 

God, this was a long reply. I am curious to hear other people's thoughts.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Also, I understand that as an escort I have a dual role as both educator-trainer and partner. As a partner I have preferences, but as an educator and facilitator I have the responsibility (and the honor) of helping people understand what is it that tick their fancy and make them feel fulfilled and happy. Many men with whom I have worked have been entirely disconnected with their own bodies and through the work we did together they became masters of their own pleasure. I find this kind of interaction incredibly fulfilling and exciting, and ultimately this is one of the biggest reasons for which I enjoy escorting so much.

 

God, this was a long reply. I am curious to hear other people's thoughts.

 

My thoughts? My thoughts are that your answer shows why you are considered one of the best in the business. The key phrase for me was educator-trainer. I was speaking about this with several escorts today who also agree I believe. To me, the truly great ones, such as yourself, may get more enjoyment out of helping guys like me become better partners and better men than out of the sex itself. Helping us to be comfortable with ourselves, trusting us to listen to our own bodies and respond to both our own bodies and instincts as well as read and react to what our partner is saying through their non-verbal communication. To me that is one of the key roles of an escort. And you beautifully described it Juan. And I would expect no less of you either. Just out of curioisity .. is it possible for you to give anything other than a brilliant answer because I've never seen anything other than that?

[Guest Wetnwildbear]

Hello Juan

 

I find in genreal that your posts are extremely well written and thoughtful.

 

Your most recent posts regarding "bottoms"

 

was clear, concise and constructive. I always appreciate good writing, for good writing is a sign of creative and

 

entertaining individual with whom time is well spent.

[dapurplebear]

when are you coming too NYC!! :-)

[best hotel]

Juan....please come to ny and fuck as written....whew

[Diverdan]

Hi Juan,

I loved your response and it is good advise not only for bottoms but also gives us tops something more to think about! Hope to see you soon.

DD

 

PS... I loved your response too, Anton!

[Decatur Guy]

Thanks for all the great replies so far.

[gregkidman]

Letting go

 

Decatur,

I am glad you asked this question. I am also a client who bottoms. I also want to make sure that the escort has a good time with me.

 

For years, I had thought a good bottom is an assertive bottom. In other words, when the top thrusts, then I thrust back; when the top pulls back, I also pull away. I also try to be an interactive bottom -- tweak the top's nipples, grab onto his arms, play with his balls, etc. I always thought that a passive bottom is similar to handling a dead fish.

 

Recently, I was with a top who had a sling. Once I was in the sling, I was a little disconcerted because I couldn't really be an assertive bottom or be as interactive. During that session, I kept thinking about that dead fish. It was tough for me to just 'let go.' After that session was over, I wasn't satisfied with myself and worried that the top didn't enjoy himself. I saw the same top again, in the sling, two more times. In the last session, I had an epiphany -- that it is okay to let go and just enjoy the ride. Bit by bit, I am learning to let go. It's tough for me to do -- my tops are usually the quiet types -- they're not exactly very verbal in telling me what they like. Hard to figure out what they like and don't like, especially since the client is paying. When the client is paying, there is that element that the escort say has to say 'yes' because he is being paid to cater to the client's needs.

 

I once read in a book that tops like it when a bottom tightens their ass as the top pulls away, and relaxes their ass as the top thrusts back in. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around. I have done both ways a few times -- there was no change in the top's demeanor that they like it that way or the other way. So I have no way of knowing if they like it or not. I don't say anything because it may distract them from their focus (and again with the 'paid to say yes' factor).

 

Juan and Anton, thanks for chiming in. Hopefully other tops will chime in.

[AdamATL77]

I like bottoms who are NOT quiet. I want to hear him moan and groan so I know what I'm hitting and what he's feeling. Oh! A bottom who holds his own legs is good too. ;-)

[Michael Wayne]

This is one of the best threads ever. Juan really said it all and I concur with 100% of what he said. But here are the facts which make what we want and what we get two different realities. 1. Most clients who hire top do not bottom often as they are usually married and closeted. Many are normally tops in their hook-up life but every once in a while they like to dabble with, "The Dark Side of the Force." Almost all my bottoms are really tight, almost painfully so at first. working my way into them is like deep water oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico but , OH BOY, the gusher comes and it flows and it opens up and loosens up! I find that patience is a great virtue as a top. 2. myself, I like it when the bottom can either hold his own legs or works out enough to where all my energy is not spent holding his weight. The only time I have trouble staying hard is when I have to do a full work out during sex just to hold the clients' legs. 3. Turn down the heat! Sometimes bottoms get cold and do not realize that as a top I am doing most of the work. Sauna sex to me is not fun sex. sweaty sex is good for porn on camera but in real life if it is 90 degrees in your hotel and I am working to support your weight you will not get my ,"A," game as a top. So turn on the air. 4. I do not like the death grip on my legs, ass or balls. 5. As a bottom find out which position the top likes and give it to him. I like missionary cause I want to see who I am with. Some tops like to be ridden. I don't. If you ride me then technically I am on bottom, aren't I? 6. Sometimes there is something to be said for slow strokes, slow, deep strokes. I wish more bottoms understood that it feels better on the tops' dick to go slow and really enjoy every inch of your ass instead of pounding away like some horny bunny. Just a few of my thoughts. http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

[leigh.bess.toad]

6. Sometimes there is something to be said for slow strokes, slow, deep strokes. I wish more bottoms understood that it feels better on the tops' dick to go slow and really enjoy every inch of your ass instead of pounding away like some horny bunny.

 

Or as the name of one of the great Southern drinks imply: A Sloe Comfortable Screw.

[Decatur Guy]

Shamelessly bumping the thread -- come on, want to hear more!

[instudiocity]

Uh, could I burden you with a request? DIRECTIONS!!!

Thank you for this question. I've been a life-long top who is moving to the other side of the street and I want to be the best one in town. I want men lined up for blocks to get a piece of me.

[instudiocity]

... the ultimate guide to good bottoming...

If I saw this title in a bookstore and the author was Juan Bruno, I buy every copy...

[+ MakeMeCowboy]

Juan... Philadelphia is the town for you!

[Phil_musc]

Hear, hear, Cowboy!