Payment rituals....?

[bcohen7719]

My "first time" is coming up soon. It is a sleep-over

with a very well-reviewed and well-respected escort

known to be understanding with [e]virgins. I'm still

nervous.

 

From different message threads, it seems that you are supposed

to leave an envelope out in plain sight with the appropriate

remuneration for time spent together.

 

Is it considered insulting or bad form to just give him the envelope

in advance?

 

BC

[+ deej]

The only correct answer is "it depends".

 

Have the envelope available. Chances are good he'll spot it. If it's important *to him* he'll ask for it. I doubt he'd be insulted having it given to him.

 

But it all depends on the situation. Concentrate on having a good time together. The rest will take care of itself.

[nate_sf]

"Standard practice" is to pay at the end, but if you're anxious about it and would rather take care of it up front that's OK too. If you'll be more relaxed and likely to enjoy yourself knowing that the payment is out of the way, by all means do it. But because it is a bit unusual, I wouldn't rely on just leaving it out in plain sight without saying something - he may not know whether or not he should go ahead and pick it up or wait until later.

 

Nothing wrong with just handing it to him directly. Some guys will just stuff the bills right into my pocket... less refined than leaving out the envelope, but does the job just fine.

[gp0560]

Yes, as Deej says, It depends.

 

One approach I have used with men who are well-reviewed and well-respected is to count the money together at the very beginning of the session. A guy of his caliber is not going to grab it and run, after all. This approach works for me because I look for a BFE, and this way the end of the session can remain in BFE "mode." I wouldn't recommend it in all cases.

[Kevin Slater]

There are no rules and I expect most working guys are thrilled with any mechanism of payment (so long as it's cash). Don't sweat this one.

 

Kevin Slater

[orbital sander]

It would be cool to have one of those clear, person sized boxes that you dump lots of cash into and then turn on the blower. You can have the guy strip first for added excitement...

[bobchitown]

Depends. If I'm at the escorts place I'm very likely to just leave the cash at some convenient place at the end of the session and then give him a little hug and say "There's something by your computer for you." I'm also prone to pocket stuffing, particularly if they're wearing tight jeans - makes me feel like I'm the TSA, LOL. Very often we'll hang out for a little while talking about life in general, and I can't think of a single time where the money was touched before I left.

 

If they're coming to me, I'm likely to just leave it out in plain sight before they arrive, and I've never had anyone scoop it up upon arrival.

 

One time when I was with a regular I completely forgot and I got a cute little "did you perhaps forget something" as I was putting on my coat.

[Epigonos]

I don't tend to do overnights, I prefer to SLEEP alone. I am more likely to do a three or four hour get-together including lunch or dinner.

 

If I am seeing a guy who is in your words "well respected" I give him his fee right up front. Thus I remove the possibility that I might forget to give him the money and force him to ask. Additionally it also get the money business out of the way and we are able to concentrate on enjoying out time together. "Well respected" and well-reviewed escorts are NOT about to take the money and run. They are good businessmen and their reputation for honest and integrity is extremely important to their success. .

[instudiocity]

It would be cool to have one of those clear, person sized boxes that you dump lots of cash into and then turn on the blower. You can have the guy strip first for added excitement...

 

I dunno, this blower is turned on the minute hot date walks in the room...

[Dave]

last night i had a new client, who extensively read thru my website before his visit. in his first three minutes at my place, he said, "i want to do the right thing, as i read on your website, so i have something for you now" and started to reach into his pocket.

 

i quickly thought about what's on my site and said, "i don't believe i have anything written about that..." but then realized, he might've clicked over to the link "Never Hired Before? Advice For a Good Experience" which i do have on my site. it goes to an advice site made by Lars, a retired LA escort (he surveyed a number of escorts when pulling together his site, and i was one of them). anyway, i told my new client that he could deal with that later, it really wasn't necessary for me up front.

 

there are a few ways of looking at this.

- paying up front because the escort requests it - he doesnt trust the client (more common with escorts who are new to the industry)

- paying up front because the client wants to get it out of the way, leaving the ending more BFE-ish and fluid

- paying later for a similar reason, but opposite: to start the experience getting to know each other, without money clouding an encounter

- paying later so that if the client wants to leave a tip, the money exchange is done only once instead of two separate times

 

on the issue of envelopes vs pocket stuffing vs cash left out vs blatantly giving hand to hand, i think that any escort who's worth his salt has had all of those scenarios, and is therefore fine with any of them. the best clients i've had have given me payment in every one of those methods.

 

new thing happened to me last night with mr new client... he pulled out three stacks of new one dollar bills, one hundred in each stack. plus another thirty of them, also new but loose. i was taken aback, it looked like he had robbed a bank. but he looked at me earnestly and said, "they're great for when you're buying things!"

 

we had a good laugh and then i told him, truth to tell, i prefer the larger bills in payment.

 

i remember my friend brett in dc (another guy now retired from escorting) -once i was talking to him on the phone, he had just finished a job and was in his truck and said, "dave, hold on a second, this is a mess - all these damn twenties!"

 

gotta run, have a client coming to my place soon. but quickly let me just add - bcohen, i dont think you should sweat this. in fact, although you will undoubtedly be nervous, try to just ride the wave and let him give you the whole experience. have fun! i wish you the best...

[happyguy2]

I think Jerry (gp0560) makes an excellent point about allowing the session to end in the BFE mode. That really dos appeal to me. I never do overnights but like 3-4 hour sessions as an extravagance. Once you have established a regular relationship with repeat meetings, at least for me, there is a real friendly chemistry that develops and the money seems to just happen. Using Jerry's thinking, I like just getting it out of the way - and ending as he suggests.

[happyguy2]

Sorry I forgot to say: BTW sincere best wishes on this appointment and please let us know how it all worked out. We were all in your shoes at one point.

[instudiocity]

I don't know about all this stress over how to deliver the payment. My preference is during the goodbye hug and kiss to grope his member, oh wait that's the hello hug and kiss. No, I like to stuff the pocket with the cash during the goodbye hug and kiss. If I don't want a goodbye hug and kiss, I hand it over while shaking hands.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey BC,

 

Congratulations on your first appointment and I hope it goes well, is a lot of fun and makes you feel comfortable from beginning to end.

 

As far as payment rituals go I must confess that I am very specific: I try to always use the same broadly accepted payment ritual that is widely accepted all over the world in a convenience store:

 

The clerk averts his eyes and rapidly determines the amount due, which he communicates telepathically to the customer: the customer is pretending to talk about the weather, while actually is sweating like a pig, nervous because he is not sure if he read the clerk's mind correctly, therefore afraid that he may not leave the right amount; the clerk will perform a slow kabuki dance, quietly reciting the qualities of the product purchased and for a brief moment, their gaze will meet... and it is then that the client, in a stealth movement will gently stuff the previously counted bills under the MarsBars while the clerk is already busying himself cleaning a window behind him. The client will mutter something else about the weather and will leave, hoping that the clerk will be satisfied, otherwise the quality of the goods purchased will diminish.

 

Of course I am pulling your leg a little. I find it a little strange that even if the States is such an economic force based in monetary transactions, it is quite often the case that people are uncomfortable around money in certain circumstances. While nobody would think twice about what is the best and least offensive way to pay a clerk, some men suffer a lot about the correct way to pay an escort. I will share with you a golden secret that will allow you to do this without ever offending him, ever making him feel bad and never creating a strange atmosphere between you two. This secret is very simple, actually:

 

Give him the money and smile.

 

Perhaps tell him that you are glad that you could see each other, tell him that you are glad that he was there, or simply smile and say "Thanks." It never fails.

 

Some people actually feel a little guilty about the pecuniary side of this transaction and feel that it detracts from its beauty. I would suggest to do your first hire seeing the money part as just one more element in this beautiful dance of sharing, of getting to know each other, of sharing with each other different parts of each other. The money is just another element that flows between you two, like a kiss, like a caress, like a confidence and a childhood memory.

 

As an escort, I am very aware of the times when I could simply coast through the session and let the time come to an end, or when I have the opportunity to open up and give a lot more than was needed, and being generous with my body, with my attentions, with my private life, with my intimate feelings... it is this moments, when I decide to be generous that make escorting so fulfilling for me. I am sure that throughout your sessions with your escort you will have those moments too: when you can decide to hide and hold back, or when you can decide to open up and receive, and allow, and give, and be generous with who you are and what you can share. Those moments are intensely fulfilling and will be cherished for a long time. I personally think that the moment when you recognize the beauty of the transaction and honour the pleasure that you receive by sharing your abundance is a really beautiful moment; don't rob yourself of the pleasure of savouring it by finding a discrete, almost magical way to skim over it. You are giving us a great gift, and we, -every single time, are intensely thankful for that.

 

There is beauty in sharing. And if you focus on that beauty while sharing this one element, you will never offend him.

 

I hope you have an intensely exciting and fulfilling first session, and I hope that this will only help you learn more about the ways in which you can pursue pleasure and intimacy.

[bcohen7719]

to: Juan "The Encyclopedia":

 

You hit the nail on the head, and covered

every aspect in every detail.

 

I'm overwhelmed.

 

With greatest appreciation,

 

Bill

[Kevin Slater]

As far as payment rituals go I must confess that I am very specific: I try to always use the same broadly accepted payment ritual that is widely accepted all over the world in a convenience store:

 

The clerk averts his eyes and rapidly determines the amount due, which he communicates telepathically to the customer: the customer is pretending to talk about the weather, while actually is sweating like a pig, nervous because he is not sure if he read the clerk's mind correctly, therefore afraid that he may not leave the right amount; the clerk will perform a slow kabuki dance, quietly reciting the qualities of the product purchased and for a brief moment, their gaze will meet... and it is then that the client, in a stealth movement will gently stuff the previously counted bills under the MarsBars while the clerk is already busying himself cleaning a window behind him. The client will mutter something else about the weather and will leave, hoping that the clerk will be satisfied, otherwise the quality of the goods purchased will diminish.

 

Best post ever.

 

Kevin Slater

[gp0560]

The clerk averts his eyes and rapidly determines the amount due, which he communicates telepathically to the customer: the customer is pretending to talk about the weather, while actually is sweating like a pig, nervous because he is not sure if he read the clerk's mind correctly, therefore afraid that he may not leave the right amount; the clerk will perform a slow kabuki dance, quietly reciting the qualities of the product purchased and for a brief moment, their gaze will meet... and it is then that the client, in a stealth movement will gently stuff the previously counted bills under the MarsBars while the clerk is already busying himself cleaning a window behind him. The client will mutter something else about the weather and will leave, hoping that the clerk will be satisfied, otherwise the quality of the goods purchased will diminish.

 

<spit take> Absolutely hilarious! I smile every time I reread it.

[happyguy2]

Juan, you are the most amazing human being around. What a joy to read your posts, each time I am left feeling like I have had an intimate conversational encounter with the most wonderful person - thank you

[+ azdr0710]

put the correct amount in an envelope before the meet, discreetly lay it out in plain sight when you arrive, relax and have fun - at some point, he'll notice it and a pro won't worry that you short-changed him and won't count it before you leave...the slipping-cash-into-a-pocket is a cliche and silly-looking.....discussing it cheapens the affair....I don't like to talk about money during the meet, but you may want to confirm with your intended in an email beforehand the way in which you'll pay and then not talk about $$$ anymore

[Juan Vancouver]

So, how did it go?

 

Did you have your first encounter? Was it fun? Did you enjoy it? Will you do it again?

 

Enquiring (and lewd) minds want to know....

 

Spill the beans, already!

[josephga]

i had a guy buy a massage once and paid me 80.00 in loose change mostly quarters

[instudiocity]

i had a guy buy a massage once and paid me 80.00 in loose change mostly quarters

 

Slipping 8 rolls of quarters in your front pockets is a GREAT WAY to get your britches off!

[bcohen7719]

Payment rituals

 

Did you have your first encounter? Was it fun? Did you enjoy it? Will you do it again?

 

Enquiring (and lewd) minds want to know....

 

Spill the beans, already!

 

My first time is next week. I like it when others spill the beans, but it seems that if escorts value discretion so highly, so should the client. I'll only say that I also got him a VERY nice gift in advance--a very, very nice gift. He'll be shocked (I hope).

 

Best wishes,

 

BC

[+ newatthis]

... I like it when others spill the beans, but it seems that if escorts value discretion so highly, so should the client...BC

I would think just the opposite -- it's good publicity for the escort when the client is indiscreet about a (good) hiring experience. Isn't that the whole premise of the reviews?

[bcohen7719]

I would think just the opposite -- it's good publicity for the escort when the client is indiscreet about a (good) hiring experience. Isn't that the whole premise of the reviews?

 

Newatthis:

 

Your logic is forceful, and let me admit I'm talking out-of-turn: I haven't even had

my first encounter yet. After next week, I'll be in a better position (don't

guffaw).