How do I get an escort to cantact me and then what?

[Guest stufurbut]

Being new to all this, I have read some impressive reviews from Daddy's, and in my enthusiasm and being naive, I e-mailed a few about a sexual fantasy I was looking to fulfill and asked if they would be willing to try it. Then I came across Maximum Escorts service and noticed in thier policy that they don't even acknowledge e-mails that have this descriptive sexual stuff in them. Then I read the thread here about cops/decoys. I certainly am not one but in writing about my fantasy I can see where they may not want to respond. (non of them have yet and they are rated for quick response in their reviews)

So how do I initiate contact, and then how do I let them know what I am looking for as far as what I would like to experience in the encounter? I don't want to waste time with them if they are not into my "scene". Any suggestions are appreciated. Thanks

[+ Charlie]

Try just sending them a simple email asking whether they would be available for an appt at a certain time period, and say that you will give more specific info about your scene if they agree. It's never a good idea to give too much info in an initial request.

[MscleLovr]

Yes, I agree with Charlie.

 

Typically I set out the date(s) I'm looking at, mention flexibility in scheduling and give a brief outline of what I enjoy. You may not wish to but I also mention I'm not in law enforcement and I offer to send photos of me prior to meeting. I feel most escorts do not want to answer long emails.

[Kevin Slater]

I feel most escorts do not want to answer long emails.

 

Right you are. In my experience, the likelihood of meeting up is inversely proportional to the lenth of the emails.

 

Kevin Slater

[Guest BrandonWilliams]

Right you are. In my experience, the likelihood of meeting up is inversely proportional to the lenth of the emails.

 

Kevin Slater

 

Very well stated Kevin.....very well stated. I'm always a bit cautious of initial emails that require several smoke breaks so to speak (no, I do not smoke) before I make it to the end of the note. Communication fantasy alarms ring in my head. Communication of this type falls into the same bucket as "I've never met you, but I want to spend 5 days in Hawaii with you in two weeks." I feel an urge to get on a soap box so I must stop now.

[Steven_Draker]

sending pictures

 

I offer to send photos of me prior to meeting.

 

Completely unnecessary! If someone offers or does send me photos of him I know that he's either looking for a discount or else he'll be very demanding/pushy and I set up for a 'difficult' session with even a more 'difficult' client who will be very hard or impossible to satisfy.

 

Better skip that offer and go to the next one.

[Guest Merlin]

It might help if we knew a little more about the fantasy being requested. Most escorts will do some of that, many enjoy it. But of course, there are some fantasies that the escorts would prefer to avoid or may refuse to do.

[Guest Spanky]

Completely unnecessary! If someone offers or does send me photos of him I know that he's either looking for a discount or else he'll be very demanding/pushy and I set up for a 'difficult' session with even a more 'difficult' client who will be very hard or impossible to satisfy.

 

[/color]

 

Really? What's the relationship between sending pictures and wanting a discount/being difficult? Do guys that send pictures think they are so hot that they shouldn't have to pay full price? I offer to send pictures, but it's because I'd rather have the escort's initial look of shock, repulsion, and horror be in front of the computer screen than when I open the door. I've never asked for a discount. Maybe I'm "difficult" but it seems like my standards are so low that just about anyone can get past them.

[Kevin Slater]

I agree with Steven that you should skip the pic. Inevitably the gentleman is more attractive in person, where the warmth of his smile or the cleverness of his wit comes through. A pic beforehand only distracts from his written word and can easily be left out.

 

Kevin Slater

[+ Shoreboy]

Personally I enjoy a bit of role playing when I book someone...therefore in my initial email I always ask them if "role playing is within their boundaries and or areas of expertise"...then if they respond and ask, I share it with them either via email or telephone.

 

A "fantasy experience" in my humble opinion is too vague and if it is a "role playing experience" I think it would help to simply mention it and see where it goes.

 

I have had some escorts that want to read the entire role playing scenario via email, some who have written back and said they are not into role playing and some that have asked me to call them and explain....the key is communication, brief at first and then after the initial contact is made explain what you are looking for and be clear...be clear..be clear...that to me is only fair to you and to the escort.

 

Have fun

[Kevin Slater]

So far we've shot down a lot of suggestions about your initial contact. What (for me) is the ideal approach?

 

"Hi Kevin. I saw your ad on [reference] and was attracted to your [hook]. I am looking for [fetish] and wondering if you're [interested / experienced] in that. If so, I was thinking perhaps [day and time] or tell me when works for you. [broad idea of your availability to meet.] If you prefer, you can call me at [number] or [method of contact] works best for me."

 

Again, that's only my ideal, and most any variation of that works well. A phone number included in an email suggests sincerity behind the request.

 

My opinion is the more graphic the first contact, the more likely he's just getting lube on his keyboard. Specific questions (but not a litany of them) are great, but please don't ask me what I'm into (I'm much more concerned with what you're looking for) and dear god, avoid texting me generalities like "hey" or "sup?".

 

The excitement of the opera begins when you send your tux to the dry cleaners, and similarly communicating with an escort beforehand is part of the experience that you want to enjoy. The suggestions in this thread should keep it enjoyable for both parties and lead to an even better actual meeting.

 

Kevin Slater

[Diverdan]

IMHO the first contact via email should be brief. Discussions are best left to the phone where one can have some "give and take" about what is being requested and the other party can judge what the interest level might be. However, as a client, I think too much discussion in advance takes away the spontaneity that is often much of an encounter. If you are writing to an escort who is well reviewed on this site, you should already have a good idea of what they are like, what they are into, what their limits might be, etc. I can see why most will not respond to a lengthy email, especially if it is the initial contact.

[Dave]

Kevin Slater, spot on.

 

i'm still chuckling over "the more graphic the first contact, the more likely he's just getting lube on his keyboard."

 

my ideal is like Kevin's, although for booking, the best is when someone is prepared with two or three date/time options, especially in an email. that way there's less back and forth like no, that date's not good, have another?

 

also see THIS ADVICE (click here), it might help you.

[Guest GQ Pro]

I've found that very lengthy intial emails followed by more lengthy emails end up going nowhere. Usually the guy just enjoys writing emails and haviing an audience. The best approach is to write a short email briefly stating what type of fantasy you are looking for. If the escort is interested, he is more likely to respond.

GQ Pro Please feel free to check out my blog and post your comments there as well. http://gqpro.tumblr.com/

[Guest stufurbut]

Thanks so much to you all for your suggestions and links to further info. I've learned a lot. I'm looking forward to my first real experience with an escort of the quality I have read about here. Neal

[bobchitown]

This is pretty much spot on for me. The first email is something like:

 

Hi [whoever].

 

I just saw your ad in [xxx] [or I'm excited to see that you're traveling to Chicago on [dates]] and write to see if we can get together while you're here. [if first contact], Since we haven't met let me tell you just a little bit about me, I'm [approx age, height/weight, general preferences] [include here any MUSTs - if kissing is important SAY SO]. I always play safe. I'm looking for an [in/out] call at [your/my] place and can be available anytime on [xxx day/evening] or possibly[different option]. Drop me a line and I'm hoping we can get together. My phone is [xxx] and you can call or text that number but I'm generally easier to find by e-mail. Whatever works for you. Looking forward to hearing from you, Bobchitown

 

I give it 24 hours and then drop a "perhaps my message didnt' reach you, apologies for any duplication" message. 24 hours more I move on.

 

This almost always gets a response, although I'm convinced that some guys just like to waste their money on ads since no amount of contact will generate a response.

 

Another big clue is to try to fish out their actual e-mail from somewhere - Daddy's is great for that - and use that instead of the link from the Ad. I'm convinced that many of the one's from the ads never get through.

[Decatur Guy]

I haven't hired many escorts, but of the ones I have, the contact was usually initiated by me. But I usually initiated contact by phone call, because the ones I've hired said "prefer phone contact."

 

I'll call, introduce myself, tell him I saw his ad on so and so and ask if he has five free minutes to talk. Usually he does. If he doesn't, I ask if there is a better time to call or could I drop an e-mail. This has worked for me almost every time.

 

If I call and he doesn't answer, I leave a message. There's only one escort I can't seem to get the attention of, and it's one I'd like to hire. His answering in-box is usually full, he never picks up the phone and doesn't respond to my e-mails. He's well-reviewed and friends with another escort who has contacted me, so I don't know what the problem is. But that's the exception for me.

[bcohen7719]

I'm in the same boat as "Stufubut"--I've never even been with a professional masseur, let alone anything more vigorous. Some people on this website have been incredibly helpful, above and beyond the call of duty, and confirmed that even though I'm in NYC, someone in Los Angeles would be best in my situation. I emailed him, and he is an absolute sweetheart. He could not be more understanding. But guys: this ain't so easy. I'd be happy just spending the evening watching television together for a first visit.

 

BC

[Romann]

Bravo to those who send pictures.

 

Completely unnecessary! If someone offers or does send me photos of him I know that he's either looking for a discount or else he'll be very demanding/pushy and I set up for a 'difficult' session with even a more 'difficult' client who will be very hard or impossible to satisfy.

 

Better skip that offer and go to the next one.

[/color]

 

This is an interesting statement. I'm sorry that this has happened to you but I often have clients send me their pictures and state upfront that since they see/know so much about me, they feel it's important and the right thing to do when it comes to sending their pictures to their chosen escort. Also, I applaud clients that want to reveal themselves for what I believe to be an attempt to make the escort more comfortable rather than rip them off.

 

I'm curious as to why you feel this is some sort of red flag. Could you please clarify?

 

I've never once had a client come to me with their picture and then ask for a discount but that's just me.

[Romann]

Emails and follow-up calls.

 

So how do I initiate contact, and then how do I let them know what I am looking for as far as what I would like to experience in the encounter? I don't want to waste time with them if they are not into my "scene". Any suggestions are appreciated. Thanks

 

Thank you for the question.

 

In my opinion, start off with an initial email to inquire about availability for starters. Though, keep in mind that if your email is not replied to in 24 hours (this is the standard that I hold myself to when receiving requests through the traditional escorting sites but also from my website directly) then a follow-up call is in order. That said, if you started out with an initial email and it's not replied to, don't take offense to it. There could be a multitude of reasons why a response wasn't received and I typically side with the SPAM filters. I've had a number of emails from potential clients go into my SPAM folder for whatever reason and after a certain amount of time, they call me directly to inquire.

 

But, if your initial contact is via email, be direct but also state that you would like to discuss "other" details over the phone. If the escort has an issue with this, then I would pass them over because what is the harm of having a 10 minute call to discuss what you're looking for in the encounter instead of leaving it up to chance?

 

Trust your instincts. I hope this has helped.

[Guest IndyMedic2006]

With my first hire, it was the escort that asked to see my picture before we had our first meeting. I agree that some clients maybe sending pictures to break the ice or make the client more comfortable... to decrease the possibility of surprises...

 

This is an interesting statement. I'm sorry that this has happened to you but I often have clients send me their pictures and state upfront that since they see/know so much about me, they feel it's important and the right thing to do when it comes to sending their pictures to their chosen escort. Also, I applaud clients that want to reveal themselves for what I believe to be an attempt to make the escort more comfortable rather than rip them off.

 

I'm curious as to why you feel this is some sort of red flag. Could you please clarify?

 

I've never once had a client come to me with their picture and then ask for a discount but that's just me.

[Dave]

I'm in the same boat as "Stufubut"--I've never even been with a professional masseur, let alone anything more vigorous. Some people on this website have been incredibly helpful, above and beyond the call of duty, and confirmed that even though I'm in NYC, someone in Los Angeles would be best in my situation. I emailed him, and he is an absolute sweetheart. He could not be more understanding. But guys: this ain't so easy. I'd be happy just spending the evening watching television together for a first visit.

 

BC

 

hey BC - just wanna throw this out to you - "spending the evening watching television together" shouldn't be any more difficult to attain than getting fucked, or having an escort strip down for you to combat boots and a jock. it's really all about communication.

 

so in an initial contact, it would be cool to say something like "i'm new to m2m stuff, and might be most comfortable just hanging out and watching tv together, talking on a couch, perhaps just snuggling in my first appointment" (or whatever else fits in a good night for you).

 

just like the 'scort who wouldn't ever don boots and a jock for a client, if the couch request is too out of his realm, he'll likely tell you so. that is, as long as you're looking at professional quality escorts. be careful hiring those "other escorts", because they'll say or agree to nearly anything to get your dollars. i've heard those nightmares from many of my clients, and bet a bunch of guys on this forum could tell you heaps of stories, too.

 

good luck! it may seem a little nervewracking at first, but most people who hire seem to love the order-in-for-dinner aspect. you know - you call up, say what you want, and in 45 minutes it's at your door.

[Dave]

and (one more thought, sorry!) the thing about clients sending photos is interesting to me. i suspect that just like so many other things in life, there is more than one reason why clients will send pics to an escort.

 

i too have never had anyone send me a pic and ask for a discount. but i have concluded that people send me pics for these reasons:

 

- they want to show me what they look like, since i have shown them me (on my website)

- they want me to see what they look like, due to insecurity about the way they look. ie, if they were previously rejected by an escort, they would rather get rejected via email than face to face.

- they are genuinely proud of how they look (maybe they have an amazing dick, or a very fit body, or are extremely handsome) and feel that would make me want to see them even more.

- they are an exhibitionist, and sending their pic is one aspect of their play that's to come

- they are showing me themselves in a particular element (ie, bound and gagged, getting a load of piss on their face, or licking a shoe) to further communicate what they like.

 

i am sure there are many other reasons; it's a big world out there.

 

overall, although i by no means require a photo before an appointment, i find it sort of flattering and sort of touching and sort of interesting when someone does send me one.

[bcohen7719]

Dave:

 

Many thanks for your kind advice! What you advise is actually what is certain to come

to pass very shortly. The male companion is very well reviewed, and was privately

recommended as a four-star**** person for a first-timer like myself. By way of

clarification, I'm openly gay, had a raunchy time during college, But now I'm older and have been celibate for some 30 years. I stopped when HIV erupted in NYC. I'm not sure if there is a name

for "those who stopped" for a long period of time. Many thanks again--and also, I

think your blog is terrific.

 

Best wishes,

 

BC

[Decatur Guy]

and (one more thought, sorry!)

i too have never had anyone send me a pic and ask for a discount. but i have concluded that people send me pics for these reasons:

 

- they want to show me what they look like, since i have shown them me (on my website)

 

 

i am sure there are many other reasons; it's a big world out there.

 

 

That's pretty much half the reason I've sent pictures. The escort has usually posted numerous, nude photos. It's only fair, to me, that he sees who he's going to meet.

 

The other reason is a more practical one. Sometimes we've met at third-party locations, and I just wanted to make sure he could spot me as easily as I could spot him in public setting.

 

It never occurred to me that sending a picture was trying to score a discount or brag about my looks. If my looks were that damn good, I'd be the one being paid. LOL.