nostalgia

[crazy4u]

Sometimes I get a bit nostalgic. I think of the good old times with the Gaiety and the Rounds and wonder what happen to some of the dancers/escorts. Does anyone know anything about Jaguar,the last person to dance at the Gaiety ? I liked him a lot and it would be nice to meet him again.

At the Gaiety a beautiful black escort, Derrick was the favorite of many customers. Where is he now??? Frankee was another one. He danced in the Gaiety and was frequently at Rounds. This all happend in the beginning of the 90's. Perhaps they are grandfathers now?

[bootdad]

I am thinking time to cue up the orchestra - we need Barbara singing . . . "MEMORIES"

I think the lack of response to this thread speaks volumes to what a different time that was.

I know a few threads have appeared over the years. Rounds was one of the great / legendary restaurant piano bars and rent hangouts where all the smartest young men went

to have a drink bought for them and then negotiated your pleasures from their. It was a very different time, long before the internet and web, texting and tweeting became so main stream.

I have many fond memories of Rounds from the late 80's and remember taking many a dashing young 20something back to my hotel. They were all so squeaky clean and boy next doorish in those days at Rounds. I mean I remember leaving with boys in suits on more than 3 or 4 occasions. Then the boys got a little more preppy, collegiate with button down oxford shirts and the occasional LaCoste. I am actually trying to think if anything like that existed anywhere I traveled / worked in those days because there was really nothing like Rounds anywhere else, not London, not Paris, not LA or even Miami/Fort Lauderdale/Key West in those days. I mean there were some great stripper bars in all those cities but Rounds managed to effectively maintain a modicum of CLASS ... it was just very special and always a great pleasure to go there and pick up a dashing young man. OMG ... now I am feeling OLD as Xmas day approaches - LOL !

[happyguy2]

I often get nostalgic thinking about an escort I used to like a lot. I had a place in Miami Beach for quite a few years until 9/11. And I saw quite a bit of a guy who went by the name of Nick and worked for an agency called, I think, San Tropez. It was a while ago, so I doubt they are still in business. Does anyone know what happened to him or if I might be able to get back in touch with him? I often wonder about him and if anyone knows anuything, I wold really hope to get back in touch with him again.

[Guest FTLdude]

I am thinking time to cue up the orchestra - we need Barbara singing . . . "MEMORIES"...

OMG ... now I am feeling OLD as Xmas day approaches - LOL !

 

Bootdad,

 

The era you're referring to was a bit before my time, but I can still relate to it. I was just recently talking to a buddy of mine about how much things have changed over the years. I was a late bloomer who came into my own in the mid 90s. Back then I was a college freshman and used to do the clubs all week long with the 'in' crowd. There was never a night that we didn't have some 'happening' party to go to. Time really does go by quickly, doesn't it. And so many of the close friends I used to have back then are just a distant memory now. People grow up, get tired of the scene, and just move on, I guess. In my time, the internet was new, few people had cell phones (the ones that looked like platform shoes from the 70s), and everybody was on AOL (remember that, LOL). They used to have live jazz bars, piano bars, trendy sidewalk cafes, and lots huge dance clubs that weren't far from each other and my friends and I used to club hop from one to the next, to the next. I grew up in New York. Moved to south Florida for a while, then to LA, then back to south Florida again a few years later. The big cities used to be pretty much the same, and you used to run into a lot of the same pretty circuit boys at all the big event parties. People were more outgoing and more social back then, and they'd get together and go out. Its not like it is now where most people are home tweeting and texting and facebooking.

 

Fast foward 15 or so years. The whole scene has changed. Most of the big dance clubs and the more popular bars are gone. They've been replaced by smaller neighborhood loft-type lounges where people just hang out and pose. The people are very different, too. The crowd is younger and somewhat trashier, and 'class' is pretty much a bygone concept anywhere these days. Even the stuff the kids are calling music nowadays just doesn't register.

 

I sometimes get nostalgic, too; and wouldn't want to go back and do it any other way if I had the choice. I had a lot of fun with some good friends and really hot boys during my college years and throughout most of my twenties. Some of those experiences were priceless! But the scene began to change even while I was still in it. Some of the changes I didn't like very much, and I didn't like what they were doing to me, so I intentionally did a 180 and pulled myself up and out of it. Went through some dramatic personal changes over the years and the way I am and look now is a vast improvement over the guy I used to be back then.

[Guest FTLdude]

St. Tropez is still in business but I doubt that any of the guys who were working for them are still working as escorts now. I've seen their website recently, and the escorts all look like college age kids.

[East2West]

Bootdad,

 

The era you're referring to was a bit before my time, but I can still relate to it. I was just recently talking to a buddy of mine about how much things have changed over the years. I was a late bloomer who came into my own in the mid 90s. Back then I was a college freshman and used to do the clubs all week long with the 'in' crowd. There was never a night that we didn't have some 'happening' party to go to. Time really does go by quickly, doesn't it. And so many of the close friends I used to have back then are just a distant memory now. People grow up, get tired of the scene, and just move on, I guess. In my time, the internet was new, few people had cell phones (the ones that looked like platform shoes from the 70s), and everybody was on AOL (remember that, LOL). They used to have live jazz bars, piano bars, trendy sidewalk cafes, and lots huge dance clubs that weren't far from each other and my friends and I used to club hop from one to the next, to the next. I grew up in New York. Moved to south Florida for a while, then to LA, then back to south Florida again a few years later. The big cities used to be pretty much the same, and you used to run into a lot of the same pretty circuit boys at all the big event parties. People were more outgoing and more social back then, and they'd get together and go out. Its not like it is now where most people are home tweeting and texting and facebooking.

 

Fast foward 15 or so years. The whole scene has changed. Most of the big dance clubs and the more popular bars are gone. They've been replaced by smaller neighborhood loft-type lounges where people just hang out and pose. The people are very different, too. The crowd is younger and somewhat trashier, and 'class' is pretty much a bygone concept anywhere these days. Even the stuff the kids are calling music nowadays just doesn't register.

 

I sometimes get nostalgic, too; and wouldn't want to go back and do it any other way if I had the choice. I had a lot of fun with some good friends and really hot boys during my college years and throughout most of my twenties. Some of those experiences were priceless! But the scene began to change even while I was still in it. Some of the changes I didn't like very much, and I didn't like what they were doing to me, so I intentionally did a 180 and pulled myself up and out of it. Went through some dramatic personal changes over the years and the way I am and look now is a vast improvement over the guy I used to be back then.

 

FTLdude:

 

My history and nostalgia mirrors yours almost to the letter! Your AOL reference really brought back some memories...that was where I initially became familiar with working guys. If I remember correctly, AOL was pretty strict about profiles not containing words or content that may have indicated someone was an escort or masseur.

 

If you'll also recall, Mondays Were A Bitch: http://bp3.blogger.com/_BYAIKrauo8c/R-UMhtUO-XI/AAAAAAAAAvA/QKYLiUXzuzw/s1600-h/Melrose+Place+Heather+Locklear+ad.jpg

[Guest FTLdude]

FTLdude:

 

My history and nostalgia mirrors yours almost to the letter! Your AOL reference really brought back some memories...that was where I initially became familiar with working guys. If I remember correctly, AOL was pretty strict about profiles not containing words or content that may have indicated someone was an escort or masseur.

 

If you'll also recall, Mondays Were A Bitch: http://bp3.blogger.com/_BYAIKrauo8c/R-UMhtUO-XI/AAAAAAAAAvA/QKYLiUXzuzw/s1600-h/Melrose+Place+Heather+Locklear+ad.jpg

 

 

LOL @ 'Mondays'. There used to be a scene bar on Las Olas Blvd in Fort Lauderdale called the Cathode Ray (long gone now) and the guys used to crowd in there on Sunday nights, but especially on Monday nights to watch Melrose. At exactly 8:00pm, the drag show, the music videos, and everything would stop. The lights would dim. And all eyes would focus on the big screen TVs angled at them from whatever area of the bar where they were. Tried to watch that show but just couldn't get into it. The melodrama was so over the freakin top. The last episode I remember was somebody setting off a bomb and blowing up the whole place. Man, the characters on that show had issues...

 

Yeah, those AOL chat rooms... At first, people used to go in them to chat. Them after a while, all the rooms would be full but nobody was chatting in them. People just hung out forever in dead silence and waited for others to check out their profile and send them an IM. Then they'd trade pics and possibly hookup. (I still don't understand how AOL failed so badly after a while when sites like MySpace and Facebook used pretty much the same basic concept with a modified user interface and became so huge years later.)

 

As for working guys, I knew a few of them (buddies) who used to place ads in the back of Hot Spots magazine (which they used to distribute in all the clubs). Back in those days, I never even once thought of paying for it. But I remember the ads, and its interesting that what the guys were charging then wasn't a whole lot less than what they're charging now.

 

And porn...you could only get pics on the internet so if you wanted to watch a movie you had to rent it from an adult video store. It just so happened that the hetero video porn stores around here didn't carry gay or bi titles so you had to go to a gay bookstore to rent them. These bookstores used to be a very popular venue for guys to hookup at night. Do they still even have these adult video stores anymore? They used to have them all over the place but I've noticed that I don't see them anymore. Guess broadband internet service put most if not all of them out of business.

 

Any local guys here who remember Dania Beach and John Lloyd State Park? For a long time, that used to be a hot hookup spot too. Until undercover cops began to frequent the place. Most of the action dropped off after that, and moreso after the city began to install security cameras all over the place. They used to also have an extremely expensive restaurant out there called Burt and Jack's---undoubtedly the BEST restaurant in all of Fort Lauderdale. It was a once in a while experience because of the prices, but it was always excellent. But after 9/11 the feds installed a security check point right off US-1 to restrict access to Port Everglades and the restaurant had to close down because people couldn't get to it anymore. That pretty much killed off the action over there. There hasn't been another restaurant that even compares to it anywhere in Broward County since.

 

Now that I'm writing this I'm beginning to remember so many more things, so many more people...including my old best Buddy, Paul, from Miami...dude, where the fuck are you now? I miss you and all that crazy shit we used to do together. Good times!

[Luv2play]

As a Canadian I have many nostalgic memories of my misspent youth in Canada but as most posters here are Americans I will restrict my comments to my US experiences, at least some of the hi-lights. My first trip to the US for the "gay experience" was to the "holy grail", namely Castro Street in San Francisco in the late '70's. The clubs and other gay venues there blew me away. This was before we had any "gay villages" in Canadian cities, which are now largely modeled on Castro as it was then.

 

Of course my early visits to SF aroused my curiosity about Los Angeles, where the gay stereotype was different from the mustachioed levi clad guys in SF. My first visit to LA exposed me to the beach bunnies of Southern California. I particulary remember the hot dance club in Laguna Beach, the Boom Boom Room. Really hot studs stripped to briefs gyrating on the dance floor.

 

In the '80's I moved to Europe and my annual visits to the US included New York, LA, SF and once Hawaii and Florida. New York was really wild and day turned into night, with most of the action after dark. Clubs like the Anvil and the bars on Christopher Street got most of my custom. I once went to the door of the Mine Shaft in the meat packing district but I chickened out and didn't go in. Probably saved my life!

 

Although I had started going to the baths elsewhere, the St. Mark's in New York was a mind (and other parts) blowing experience. I had never been in an steam room orgy that included about 25 hot guys before although future experiences in Florida two decades later built on this experience. I also went to Rounds a few times but as I didn't pay for sex in those days I was mostly an observer. A decade later I went back and hired once from here.

 

In the late '90's I retired and started spending winters in Miami. Sampled lots of gay life there and in Ft Lauderdale for a number of years. The wildest moments were at the Eagle nightclub in Ft Lauderdale at those private parties they hosted and the bath house in Coral Gables on Sunday afternoons which included porn stars who performed live sex shows where the clients could participate or just watch, everyone draped in towels until they dropped!

 

I don't get down to the US as much any more and I expect all the places I once knew are long gone. But not my memories!

[Rapaz]

Yesh. I'm in my early 20s. Gay life now sucks.

[cany10011]

memories...

 

This topic reminds me of Robert Herrick's poem "Gather ye Rosebuds"

 

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may... while time is still aflying, the same flower that is here today, tomorrow may be 'dying...

 

I remember traipsing around europe in the early 90s with a close friend right after university and have fond memories of the boys in amsterdam, paris, and rome. Easy to find hookups just by cruising the streets/bookstores! Plus, the boy brothels in amsterdam were quite a novel invention at least for me... just pick a boy from a catalog and voila, he would be called up for you to play with in one of the rooms at the bar/brothel.... don't think such a situation exists anymore As I recall, the encounter was not very expensive much like the equivalent of 50 dollars or something....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

St. Tropez is still in business but I doubt that any of the guys who were working for them are still working as escorts now. I've seen their website recently, and the escorts all look like college age kids.

[Phil_musc]

Pardon me while I wax philosophical. It seems that every generation of young gays goes through a phase when gay life is either fantastic or pretty sucky (and what determines this mindset is directly related to the last time the young man was cruised by a hot guy and maybe even got laid. I say this with no judgements, believe me. Been there, done that. It also seems that every generation of gay guys goes through the first blush of being young and cute and having a life that is filled with possibilities (at least of a carnal kind). As he ages, he becomes aware that there is already a new crop of young pretty boys replacing him and it becomes more difficult to cruise and connect successfully. It also seems that each generation has their own individual trend that seems to define them as a gay culture, be in the disco club, the internet, etc. The important thing is to put it all into a perspective and realize that life is a continuum and it keeps going on; there will always be something new, a new crop of fresh-faced boys discovering their sexuality (and thinking that the sun rises and sets on them), as well as an aging crop of yesterday's new arrivals to the scene. I remember the big dance clubs of yesteryear, but there were always alternative bars where one could get away from the drugged out dancers who shut out the possibility of conversation with deafening music and some sort of spastic movements passed off as dancing. Today there are still places to meet live - it's not all about the internet (at least I hope it isn't). Forgive me, I've begun to ramble - must be time for my medication. I've probably taken this thread off-track (sorry), but when I read one young poster's comment above that "gay life sucks," along with another above who mentioned his experiences from the 90's and into today, I was struck with how these ideas resonated with me at similar points in my life. I'd like to think I've achieved a more balanced and accepting view of how things are in general. I'll shut up now; thanks for reading.

[Lewis H]

Pardon me while I wax philosophical. It seems that every generation of young gays goes through a phase when gay life is either fantastic or pretty sucky (and what determines this mindset is directly related to the last time the young man was cruised by a hot guy and maybe even got laid. I say this with no judgements, believe me. Been there, done that. It also seems that every generation of gay guys goes through the first blush of being young and cute and having a life that is filled with possibilities (at least of a carnal kind). As he ages, he becomes aware that there is already a new crop of young pretty boys replacing him and it becomes more difficult to cruise and connect successfully. It also seems that each generation has their own individual trend that seems to define them as a gay culture, be in the disco club, the internet, etc. The important thing is to put it all into a perspective and realize that life is a continuum and it keeps going on; there will always be something new, a new crop of fresh-faced boys discovering their sexuality (and thinking that the sun rises and sets on them), as well as an aging crop of yesterday's new arrivals to the scene. I remember the big dance clubs of yesteryear, but there were always alternative bars where one could get away from the drugged out dancers who shut out the possibility of conversation with deafening music and some sort of spastic movements passed off as dancing. Today there are still places to meet live - it's not all about the internet (at least I hope it isn't). Forgive me, I've begun to ramble - must be time for my medication. I've probably taken this thread off-track (sorry), but when I read one young poster's comment above that "gay life sucks," along with another above who mentioned his experiences from the 90's and into today, I was struck with how these ideas resonated with me at similar points in my life. I'd like to think I've achieved a more balanced and accepting view of how things are in general. I'll shut up now; thanks for reading.

 

Nah, philmusc - you're pretty spot on. Any time someone talks about how their youth seemed much better than what they experience in the current youth culture, I'm reminded by how EVERY generation seems to say that as it ages, and how the subsequent youth culture views the person saying that ("In my time...") as the musings of a has been. As a so-called has-been myself, I'm very aware of what the younger generations go through, and accept it, as they themselves will become the older generation later. Awareness makes it simpler, if not kinder. It's just the way life is. There's always stuff we will remember fondly and think was better than the way they have it now, but at the same time, if we look at it properly, there is ALWAYS good and bad in every generation. We could get into exactly what those good and bad things are, but the time and the circumstances inevitably have much to do with what makes them good or bad. In the end, it's not better or worse, just different, and that's just the way it is.

[Rapaz]

Pardon me while I wax philosophical. It seems that every generation of young gays goes through a phase when gay life is either fantastic or pretty sucky (and what determines this mindset is directly related to the last time the young man was cruised by a hot guy and maybe even got laid. I say this with no judgements, believe me. Been there, done that. It also seems that every generation of gay guys goes through the first blush of being young and cute and having a life that is filled with possibilities (at least of a carnal kind). As he ages, he becomes aware that there is already a new crop of young pretty boys replacing him and it becomes more difficult to cruise and connect successfully. It also seems that each generation has their own individual trend that seems to define them as a gay culture, be in the disco club, the internet, etc. The important thing is to put it all into a perspective and realize that life is a continuum and it keeps going on; there will always be something new, a new crop of fresh-faced boys discovering their sexuality (and thinking that the sun rises and sets on them), as well as an aging crop of yesterday's new arrivals to the scene. I remember the big dance clubs of yesteryear, but there were always alternative bars where one could get away from the drugged out dancers who shut out the possibility of conversation with deafening music and some sort of spastic movements passed off as dancing. Today there are still places to meet live - it's not all about the internet (at least I hope it isn't). Forgive me, I've begun to ramble - must be time for my medication. I've probably taken this thread off-track (sorry), but when I read one young poster's comment above that "gay life sucks," along with another above who mentioned his experiences from the 90's and into today, I was struck with how these ideas resonated with me at similar points in my life. I'd like to think I've achieved a more balanced and accepting view of how things are in general. I'll shut up now; thanks for reading.

I'm young and pretty much fit all of the descriptions of being pretty, so many possibilities, etc. I want to say this as nice as possible--but spare me, lol. I am from New York and I just think the golden age of being gay is gone. At least in my perspective. Gay life in NYC has become very vapid. There's nothing attractive about gay life in New York. The village isn't as fabulous as it was in the 90s. Hanging out at the pier isn't as exciting, adventurous and profound as it was in the 80s. The ONE bath house enterprise we have in New York doesn't even capture a thin layer of what it must've been like to cruise a bath house in the 1970d. And at what expense? Hooking up on Adam4Adam? Finding a and fawning over him on Facebook? Maybe I'm doing it all wrong.

 

I realize with time and fading familiarity comes nostalgia. But there's nothing I find particularly alluring in my culture and amongst my group of friends in this generation of the gay world. We go out, we drink, get on the train and go home and that's that. I feel like there's a good sense of liberation and liability going out to the rest of the world to respect and not neglect us because we're different. So for that, I am proud and happy.

[Guest FTLdude]

It seems that every generation of young gays goes through a phase when gay life is either fantastic or pretty sucky (and what determines this mindset is directly related to the last time the young man was cruised by a hot guy and maybe even got laid.

 

I think you missed the essence of what we're discussing here. We're talking about our memories...the way it used to be...the way people used to meet and interact, the places that used to be fun... I don't think that getting old and not being able to hook up with younger guys was the point, but since you mentioned that topic...

 

Life is not really a continuum unless you're talking about it is a strictly biological sense. Whether people are gay, straight, somewhere in between, or none of the above, we always define our existence in terms of our physical and cultural experiences. These experiences are similar for many people but they are also unique in some way. It isn't fair to use simplistic reasoning to rationalize those experiences away as just something that every gay man goes through. We don't all preceive or experience things in exactly the same ways.

 

Although the corpus of a culture never actually changes cultural expressions do, and every 20 or so years the change is dramatic. Why? Because 20 years is the approximate time span that pushes people from one 'generation' into the next. Ergo, kids become 'adults', teens become 'middle aged', middle aged people become 'older adults', and older adults become 'geriatrics'. Each change is accompanied by some sort of a paradigm shift, and although the nature of the things we do doesn't change the way we do them does. Because we're all creatures of habit we fall into routines, and we get to liking the things we're accustomed to and the way we do them. Careers, family life, friends, relationships, and a bunch of other overlapping dynamics both enrich and detract from these experiences. But no matter what, this is the stuff that memories are made of, and each of us carries his own with him as he goes from one generation to the next. Talking about how some things are now and comparing them to our long ago experiences isn't necessarily an expression of regret in just the same way that reminiscing about the past doesn't necessarily mean that we'd want to go back there if we had the chance. And none of this is necessarily related to 'aging' or being 'old' as some people in this vernacular use these words. Obviously, not all memories are good; but even the bad ones give us something to compare to later on. Does it become more difficult to cruise and connect successfully as we age? Probably. But difficulty with cruising and connecting successfully may also have a lot to do with other factors besides age.

 

Consider that not every hot, young gay man is interested in going to bars and nightclubs or cruising internet porn or hookup ads, and not every older gay man is depressed about his age or is always thinking about having sex with a hot, young twinkie. The concept of this site is an example of what I'm talking about. I've read posts on other forums where people say that only an ulgy, overweight, old, desperately lonely man would ever need to hire a rent boy for sex. But there are men of all ages here who hire and who don't fit any of those stereotypes. Also re-visit and consider your own statement that you've "achieved a more balanced and accepting view of how things are in general." Some might argue that that statement is loaded because they have no idea what "balance" means to you personally or what you meant by an 'accepting view of how things are...' Does this mean that you acquiesced in frustration, or that you've become ambivalent, or something else?

[Guest FTLdude]

...I just think the golden age of being gay is gone. At least in my perspective. Gay life ... has become very vapid...

 

Thanks for posting this. I tried to explain in my previous post that some of the changes being discussed here are not the same things that some older people usually mean when they reminisce about their youth and say they wish they were young again. It has to do with the way the gay scene itself has changed. There is a certain 'soulessness' to it now. You know something is definitely different about it (and not in a good way) when even the younger guys are saying these things. I wouldn't call myself a has-been because I'm a little older but not old, and I still fit the stereotype of being a pretty muscle boy---just no longer a scene person. Not that there's anything wrong with being a scene person, but I walked away from the scene when I was still a young dude. In my neck of the woods, it gradually changed from being about community, friendship, and fun to being all about image. For a brief while I tried to change myself to go with the flow. I began doing things that I never really liked just to fit in but it felt disingenuous and weird. I began living hard, partying and drinking too much, messing with drugs, and teetering on the border getting into of some really dangerous shit with people who I thought were friends. After a while, a lot of people were doing this. One of my friends died from an overdose, and that was a profoundly sobering moment for me. In the few years that followed, the scene changed even more, and I withdrew myself from it more and more until I stopped doing the clubs completely and gradually lost touch with pretty much all of the people I used to hang out with---with just one exception: a dude named Paul who I met at a party one night and we became good friends. He was the person who helped me pull myself out of the lifestyle. I think if I had continued in that lifestyle I would probably be long dead.

 

For me, it wasn't like this in the beginning. We could only get into the clubs on Thursday nights, which is when most of them used to have 18 and over nights. But there was an active social scene outside the clubs. As a freshman, I also made many gay and straight friends in college and we used to hang out and do all kinds of cool stuff together. There were also many different groups and social clubs that I had joined and through which I met many other people. We had a lot of face time together...go out to dinner, take trips to Universal Studios, weekend trips to the Bahamas, blading in the parks, hang out at the beaches, the movies, private parties...you name it. There also used to be some good social groups at the GLBT community center. People used to come every week, do volunteer work, hang out, talk and go out to some cafe afterwards for a while. It was a good vibe, and it was an exciting time because there were lots of interesting things to do and lots of cool places to hang out, and we all knew and genuinely cared about each other. But by by senior year people had begun to pair up into relationships and drift away and our large group of friends became much smaller. We were hooking up more and spending a lot more time and money in the clubs, and we could afford it because we had our parents money---lots and lots of it. After graduation the scene changed again and more people drifted away. Most of us who used to be close friends didn't hang out together much anymore, and we became the sort of buddies that only called either other once in a while to have a brief bullshit conversation or say 'hi' if we run into each other somewhere and that was it. Image became even more important, and the scene became all about being seen. I won't deny that I was into it for a while... the BMW, the designer clothes, and a bunch of other bullshit. It was all about getting attention...and in retrospect it was a big fucking waste of time. I was young, goodlooking, in good shape, had money...used to hook up with lots of hot guys and girls, but more and more I felt like a complete fake. I decided to just stop and focus on grad school instead.

 

One evening I got really lucky at a Borders bookstore. I noticed a hottie checking me out while I was looking through a magazine there. Every time I tried to make eye contact he looked away. So I finally went over and said hi. We had a hot one night stand that turned into a 4 year relationship. He had to relocate because of his career, and I did not want to go (which was probably a big mistake) so we ended the relationship and he moved away. After he left I tried doing different things, going back to places outside the club scene to meet new friends. I had gotten accustomed to the 'feel' of being in a relationship and was looking for that again so I wasn't all that interested in hooking up for quickies anymore. But the more I did this the more I kept running into people who were doing exactly the same thing that I had tried so hard to get away from before Tom and I met. I tried the personals ad thing for a while and didn't meet anyone I liked that way so I began doing the bars again. New ones would open and some of the older ones would close, but it was always the same scene people who were hanging out in them doing the same tired old shit that I used to do years before---but with a difference: there was nothing exciting or fun to hanging out in these places anymore. Most of the people in them were like manniquins who would stand there and pose with their bottled water in ther hands. It got old. I walked out of a bar like that named Georgie's Alibi one night about 8 years ago, and I have not been back to a gay bar/club since.

 

I like to remember the parts of it that used to be fun, but what's out there now is nothing like what used to be out there.

[Luv2play]

I walked out of a bar like that named Georgie's Alibi one night about 8 years ago, and I have not been back to a gay bar/club since.

 

I like to remember the parts of it that used to be fun, but what's out there now is nothing like what used to be out there.

 

WOW. I think the last time I was at Georgies Alibi was about the same time and I had the same feeling about the place. I couldn't stand the crowd of self-centered individuals listening to the mind-numbing music and looking up at videos on each wall. Anyway, your tale was interesting to read and it sounds like you are a survivor in the good sense. I feel I am too, altho I arrived at that place through a somewhat different set of experiences.

[Phil_musc]

I've gone back and re-read my original post on this thread and it seems somewhat negative and that was not my intent. Rapaz, my response was mostly a reaction to what you earlier wrote about gay life now and I have to say that I am sorry that your experiences seem so be so disappointing and lacking. I had bad days in my earlier years, but still, all in all it was great to be alive and being gay wasn't the hopeless curse that (in my eyes at least) it had been to people in the more distant past. I guess we had more of a sense of community back then too - gay life here also seems to mirror the contemporary life of everyone, gay and straight. It is harder to foster a sense of community now than it had been in the past, at least it seems so to me. FTLdude, I respectfully disagree - life IS a continuum, regardless of how we define our existence. Reading your thoughtful replies above, you actually clarified my thoughts - the trends of a culture are much more slow moving, really evolutionary, but we see our own place in it with a perception that is distorted by our own self-centeredness (note: I do not say this as a negative. Everyone is self-centered to some extent - has to do with realizing one's self-interest). For me the truism is how similar things really are - the external trappings may be different, but the fundamentals a pretty much the same. People need food, shelter, many if not most people need to have (or would like to have) someone to love and have an ongoing relationship with, a sense of purpose is helpful, and a circle of friends for support is desirable. I think, however, that your generational shifts are actually sooner than every twenty years; that used to be what people said, but I think I read somewhere that the concept of generations had been speeded up. As far as re-visiting my former statement about achieving a balance, I don't understand your position about that being a loaded statement. What I meant was that I've learned to look at things with a greater sense of balance and acceptance - maybe a paraphrase of "Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff." But it's not acceptance built on acquiescence in frustration but more an ambivalence brought on from a lifetime of experiences. That's not a bitter statement either - just my perception of how life is. I read your other above post in which you echo Rapaz's sentiments by saying that contemporary gay life is pretty soulless. This is a sad statement. But might this not also be a mirror of contemporary life in general? Our straight colleagues might feel the same way about their own lives.

 

But I really do feel guilty now about how this thread has evolved (and I am responsible at least somewhat for moving the subject in a different direction) I am sure the Original Poster meant for this to be a walk down memory lane where people reminisced about dancers and escorts from many years gone by, a sweet and nice read.