Surrounding yourself with like-minded people...

[JoeyBryant]

Is it possible? Sometimes I really get to the point where I just wish people would stop probing into and giving suggestions about escorting when they are around me. And I'm specifically talking about people who are not in the industry themselves. Which is why I mention like-minded people, as in people who actually do the same thing.

 

For example last night my friend and I are hanging out, and somehow the topic came up. Well, what happened was I kept getting phonecalls while I was at his house. Next thing I know he starts asking me all these obvious questions, some of which I could have swore I've answered 50 million times already. "How do you have sex with someone you're not attracted to?" "How do you orgasm 3-4 times a day and not be tired?" "What motivates you to actually do what you're doing"...And by no means do I orgasm 3-4 times a day!

 

Another example yesterday (all this in 1 day!), another friend (who isn't doing it) and I were chatting and somehow the topic came up. I think I said something about looking into the future regarding escorting and that is what I have to consider down the line.

 

So then he says, "well after you're 24 you shouldn't be escorting, thats too old. I have spoken with clients and its usually the younger ones they go after."

 

I had to correct him and say that I have come across people in their 30s plus and they are doing quite well, even better. That in fact, it seems the majority of guys (ladies too) who are escorting seem to be in the late 20s and early 30s. I would imagine like any other type of type of business, it can take years to really develop a steady client base. I told him that at the age of 23, and having been at it for 2 years, I feel that Im only just beginning and still expanding.

 

Even though he agreed, sometimes I just hate having to listen to people tell me these things. Well, he's my best friend though but we have 2 totally different views on escorting. H would never escort, hates the idea of even doing it. Its like polar opposites. Its to the point where I just wonder if I need to just create a whole new friend circle (or non at all) who either have a better understanding of it or who aren't interested in giving their opinion. Or maybe I just need to stop mentioning anything relating to it to them and just not talk about it when they are around. I have found the best friends to make in this industry are retired escorts because they aren't trying to compete or be jealous/envious on the low, but at the same time they know exactly what its like and can still give valid inputs.

 

Thing is, where do you find these people?

[justaguy]

LOL Honestly, my first reaction was wanting to ask how DO you orgasm 3-4 times a day and not be tired? From my own experience: You need friends who are not in the business in order to get you away from the business, and getting away from work is an important part of being able to focus on and enjoy the work. Just as important are friends who are in the business because they're the ones who understand best when you need to vent and can give you advice without your having to explain every little detail. The trick is to find a balance. I don't know if you can adapt this idea to your situation, but it might be worth a try. A few years ago our regular happy hour crowd instituted a rule--we could all take about work for an hour but after that work wasn't a topic that was on the menu. We didn't stick to the rule religiously, but it did help a lot.

[wayout]

LOL Honestly, my first reaction was wanting to ask how DO you orgasm 3-4 times a day and not be tired? From my own experience: You need friends who are not in the business in order to get you away from the business, and getting away from work is an important part of being able to focus on and enjoy the work. Just as important are friends who are in the business because they're the ones who understand best when you need to vent and can give you advice without your having to explain every little detail. The trick is to find a balance. I don't know if you can adapt this idea to your situation, but it might be worth a try. A few years ago our regular happy hour crowd instituted a rule--we could all take about work for an hour but after that work wasn't a topic that was on the menu. We didn't stick to the rule religiously, but it did help a lot.

 

Great advice justaguy. If the person is a really good friend then you should be able to talk to him that perhaps it is best to draw a line and not deal with the topic of your escorting. It may challenge you to find other things to talk about but it is perhaps, from what you say, worthwhile to do for the long term health of the friendship.

[josephga]

I agree you need friends outside of what you do. You won't always find those who agree with everything you do nor would i personally want friends who do. As long as they aren't calling you names or attacking you over it i wouldn't care. I had this friend once He and his partner were together 13 years and in a open relationship, always hooking up with random people. People use to say to me its odd that you are friends with them knowing you don't believe in open relationships. My comment was always the same. I love them for who they are not what they do. I think its okay if your friends ask questions or even hate what you do as long as they are respectful and aren't tossing out insults about it..

[jgoo]

Friends outside of the profession are important, I totally agree with that. I don't think, however, as another poster suggested that it is a good idea to avoid your profession as a topic of discussion. That is assuming they can be respectful (as josephga suggests) and non-judgemental. I think of a friend as someone who I care about and that covers all aspects of his life. To limit my care and concern to everything but their profession just doesn't cut it for my definition of what a friend is. Yeah it may be awkward at times but no one said it should always be easy. I do agree that talking about what might bother you when it is discussed with him is worthwhile.

[cany10011]

If your friend is so inquisitive, perhaps don't always advertise "escort" in their face. Consider turning phone off or answering work calls away from your friend so he isn't always "asking" you about your job. Escorting is sort of a taboo topic and has its own subculture, so I can see why your friends are interested in you, your profession, and how you handle clients.

 

Your suggestion about finding other like minded escorts might be a good idea as they encounter the same issues etc..Perhaps post an ad on craigslist or contacting another escort in your city that you might want to consider being social with.

 

 

 

Friends outside of the profession are important, I totally agree with that. I don't think, however, as another poster suggested that it is a good idea to avoid your profession as a topic of discussion. That is assuming they can be respectful (as josephga suggests) and non-judgemental. I think of a friend as someone who I care about and that covers all aspects of his life. To limit my care and concern to everything but their profession just doesn't cut it for my definition of what a friend is. Yeah it may be awkward at times but no one said it should always be easy. I do agree that talking about what might bother you when it is discussed with him is worthwhile.

[JoeyBryant]

good input, I can take it all into consideration. I def. believe in having friends outside the industry because in the same sense I don't like to be surrounded by people who seem to be constantly caught up in the scene. In fact, thats one reason I have no qualms about dating, or just having fun at a bar or club. I need that balance. I've come across people that don't allow that in their life...frankly I find it royally boring, but thats just my opinion.

 

Being that both subjects have known me for several months, even several years...the need to turn my phone off whenever Im around them is unnecessary. They know what I do, they know I have to keep abreast of whats going on especially on certain days of the week. I agree I would turn my phone down if I had a date with someone...but other than that I can justify doing so unless I need personal time.