Rejected, Dejected and a Little Bit Pissed

[jgoo]

Interested to know opinions if I am over reacting or if I was treated rather shabbily.

 

Basic premise was that I contacted an escort, well known and well reviewed here, for an overnight. We agreed to a specific date and the escort asked me to tell him a bit about myself and what I hoped to get out of our meeting. I sent a rather detailed email about myself and expectations, and expressed that we would do what was mutually comfortable and agreeable. A week later and no response so I emailed a follow up to make sure nothing I had said was a problem and to make sure we were still confirmed for our overnight. Five days later I get a response from the escort saying that everything is on track, that he felt we were compatible based on what I had written and asking how my Thanksgiving was and what some of the other things I would like to try. Being on the road traveling this week so I had limited access to the internet but considering we were confirmed and nothing urgent was stated I was going to respond today when I got back home. Well late yesterday the escort sent me an email saying that since he had not heard back he had no choice to cancel our appointment. He sent his previous email on Tuesday and canceled on Thursday.

 

So I got no indication of the urgency to respond (our meeting wasn't scheduled for another week) or that he would cancel if he did not hear back from me by a certain time. What bothered me the most was that I did not hear from him for almost two weeks after I sent him an email telling him about myself and took the effort to followup after a week to see if we were still ok with our appointment. I wasn't given the courtesy of anything close to what I showed him for allowing time to respond. In addition, there was not any follow up by him but rather an immediate cancellation. He could have also easily contacted me by phone if he wanted to as I had given him my number right from the start.

 

I am always open to considering that I could do things better but it just seems so unprofessional to me the way he went about this and frankly I am a little pissed about it. So excuse some venting here but I would appreciate others views as I may not be seeing all possible sides at the moment.

[cany10011]

2 options

 

Yes, you were treated shabbily. He should have called or texted for a quicker response if he really wanted to carry through with the appointment. Gentlemen should keep their words (and their appointments). Sadly, this fact is lost on some people escorts and nonescorts and is quite common.

 

Option 1. Take the high road. If you are still interested, you can call (i think it's better than email tag at this point) and be somewhat conciliatory (it's not your fault but from his standpoint it probably is) and ask for a better time to meet up. If he's interested he'll probably agree to meeting or say that he's busy. Perhaps you might consider meeting him for an hour or two instead of an overnight. Maybe he's not comfortable with meeting people for an overnight without knowing more about them or already have a pre-existing relationship with. Not sure.

 

Option 2. Consider yourself 1000+ richer and spend it on another deserving escort that may be more accomodating.

 

 

 

 

Interested to know opinions if I am over reacting or if I was treated rather shabbily.

 

Basic premise was that I contacted an escort, well known and well reviewed here, for an overnight. We agreed to a specific date and the escort asked me to tell him a bit about myself and what I hoped to get out of our meeting. I sent a rather detailed email about myself and expectations, and expressed that we would do what was mutually comfortable and agreeable. A week later and no response so I emailed a follow up to make sure nothing I had said was a problem and to make sure we were still confirmed for our overnight. Five days later I get a response from the escort saying that everything is on track, that he felt we were compatible based on what I had written and asking how my Thanksgiving was and what some of the other things I would like to try. Being on the road traveling this week so I had limited access to the internet but considering we were confirmed and nothing urgent was stated I was going to respond today when I got back home. Well late yesterday the escort sent me an email saying that since he had not heard back he had no choice to cancel our appointment. He sent his previous email on Tuesday and canceled on Thursday.

 

So I got no indication of the urgency to respond (our meeting wasn't scheduled for another week) or that he would cancel if he did not hear back from me by a certain time. What bothered me the most was that I did not hear from him for almost two weeks after I sent him an email telling him about myself and took the effort to followup after a week to see if we were still ok with our appointment. I wasn't given the courtesy of anything close to what I showed him for allowing time to respond. In addition, there was not any follow up by him but rather an immediate cancellation. He could have also easily contacted me by phone if he wanted to as I had given him my number right from the start.

 

I am always open to considering that I could do things better but it just seems so unprofessional to me the way he went about this and frankly I am a little pissed about it. So excuse some venting here but I would appreciate others views as I may not be seeing all possible sides at the moment.

[jawjateck]

He jerked you around, and sucks big time with how he handled you as a potential client, but despite being pissed at his customer service fuck up, I see this as a win for you. This appointment was setting up to be a dud, and even worse, a waste of money. I can't figure out why some of the well-reviewed guys work well for some clients, but not for others. Yet, it happens. I have had marginal experiences with some Hooville hall-of-fame escorts, and still others, screwed the pooch with how they handled the email and set-up of a potential meeting. I just wrote them off, and moved on. One thing I know: once an escort has crossed you or ruined your trust, for whatever reason, whether your feelings are just or not, don't turn back and try to set up another meeting with the guy because your suspicions are already in play, and that is a set up for a bad evening. Move on my friend, and spent that G (or G+) on another stud from our stable.

 

Happy hunting!

[JT Brooklyn]

Always a good thing to VENT! This is why Hooboy & now Daddys is a great place for sharing Good and Bad experiences.

 

As far as this "Working Guy" goes I personally would have Moved On after Day 7 with No Reply from him.

 

"Well known & Well Revieved"... well that's usually just another Thread Title all together!

[Decatur Guy]

I might make initial contact through e-mail, but we have to talk -- at least twice -- before meeting.

[cany10011]

maybe you can share his info or initials

 

..so that others may also avoid the same scenario...

 

Always a good thing to VENT! This is why Hooboy & now Daddys is a great place for sharing Good and Bad experiences.

 

As far as this "Working Guy" goes I personally would have Moved On after Day 7 with No Reply from him.

 

"Well known & Well Revieved"... well that's usually just another Thread Title all together!

[jgoo]

..so that others may also avoid the same scenario...

cany10011 - I've gone back and forth about whether or not to identify him here. I am assuming that it would not be a problem doing that here (correct me anyone if I am wrong). On the one hand it may be useful info for those who are considering hiring him. On the other hand it is something that I still would like to resolve (at least understand) on a one on one with the escort. I've written to him and want to give him a chance to respond to what I wrote without making it so public as for the moment I am trying to give him some benefit of the doubt.

 

decatur guy - I offered to talk on the phone with him at his convenience if he wanted to early on in our correspondence. He didn't show any interest or need for that, but perhaps I should have insisted.

 

jawjateck and brooklyn guy - I've usually had good luck with hiring guys based on their reviews and/or the comments by other posters on their experiences. I have hired a lot and this was a rare instance where I was totally blind sided by what happened. It started off great but it crashed and burned. I have to admit that it has shaken my belief that I know how to effectively go about hiring someone. In this case, there is practically no chance I would consider meeting him now or in the future. Unless there is something I totally missed or misunderstood in what went down, that bridge has been burned.

[Terpmaniac]

He acted like a total jerk and you have every right to be angry. You were cordial and respectful in your responses but he didnt have the common decency to do the same. Why should you give him the benefit of the doubt when the same was not shown to you? You own this guy nothing. (Man, its not even me and I am mad!)

[Diverdan]

Hi jgoo,

I suggest you forget about it and move on. He has not treated you with respect, and regardless of how well known, well reviewed or anything else, he crapped out on you. Better it happened before you met in person and wasted your money, than to have started the overnight and then realized it wouldn't work. I have never had this experience, but did in a post some months ago relate how over a period of over a month I had communicated with someone traveling to the city where I was working on a part time basis. We exchanged a lot of information, but when the day arrived to meet, I got a series of emails changing the time of our meeting, the hotel where he was staying, etc. He had great reasons, and it was a Saturday, so no big deal for me. However, things went down hill fast when I entered his room. While it was in a very nice hotel, it must have been the smallest room they have. He offered me a beer, and I declined, but decided to go to the bathroom before we went much further. The bathroom was littered with empty beer bottles, and was in a bit of disaray. When I came back out, he took a sip of beer and said, "this is not going to work for me"! I agreed and left without paying him a cent. I learned later he pulled this on a couple of other guys as well.

Just move on, as it is not worth trying to figure out what might be going on, but clearly from what you say, you did nothing wrong and should not worry about it. Just like a bad experience in a good restaurant, except here you did not have to pay the bill! Thanks for sharing your experience. I would like to know who this was, but you might just want to share that in some pms and not on the board here.

DD

[Guest FTLdude]

I sent a rather detailed email about myself and expectations, and expressed that we would do what was mutually comfortable and agreeable. A week later and no response ...

 

^Quite possibly, this is where the arrangement took a turn. ^

 

 

What did you write in that e-mail that made it necessary to get into lengthy details? Perhaps it was too much information. And as far as your 'expectations' have you reconsidered whether they might not have been very reasonable? Something in that e-mail might have caused him to lose interest. Maybe he didn't think he could live up to your expectations, so he decided to bail. His first e-mail sounds contrived. It shouldn't have taken him 5 days to determine whether he could do the appointment or not. Not very professional at all. Email, text, and phone were all at his fingertips. He could have contacted you sooner than the times he did. If something had come up or if he had gotten really busy he could easily have sent you a message or called you to let you know ahead of time. I suspect he might have been thinking about canceling during those 5 days. And why did he cancel the appointment outright instead of offering to reschedule? I think he committed to another gig with somebody else---perhaps for more $$$. Who knows?

 

I don't believe that anyone who's serious about making money in this industry (and especially in this economy) would just suddenly walk away from an opportunity to cop $1000+ for an overnight gig. To say that 'he had not heard back so he had no choice but to cancel' after just 1 day seems odd. Re-read your post and ask yourself if any of the things this guy did to you sound like stuff that a person who was really interested in the gig would have done.

 

Write to him again. Tell him (in a very rational and respectful tone) that you are extremely disappointed about the way things turned out, and that you never anticipated being treated so disrespectfully by someone with as good a reputation as the one he has here. I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for an apology or even a response from this dude, but I'm sure he's hoping that you're too decent a person to 'out' him here also. He has proven to you that he's unreliable, so if I were you I wouldn't try to book him again. Make him a 'do not use' and cross him off your list. Use the money to hire somebody hotter and who's actually interested in earning it.

[jgoo]

FTLdude, I went back over the emails and up until the very last one from him everything was very professional and serious. He asked me " Lastly, Tell me a little bit about yourself... What are you sexual likes and what are your expectations out of this overnight? I only ask because I want to know If I'm able to deliver and to avoid any surprises and/or disappointments." After my lengthy detailed response, which I felt was worthwhile since I consider a hire for an overnight a significant event and I wanted to be clear, here is what he said: "Actually want to thank you for being very thorough and detailed in your previous email... Much appreciated. You remind me a lot about myself" and "I have no doubt in my mind that we will both have a great time in each other's company and then some". So if I had gone overboard, he certainly did not have to say what he did. I have started to think, as you suggested, that he may have gotten a better offer or opportunity and that is what prompted his canceling.

 

And I have written to him (after I cooled down a bit so I believe it was rational and respectful) and expressed my surprise and disappointment. Sent it a few hours ago and we will see if he responds but frankly I am not holding my breath and just venting here has helped me start to get over it. I'm already starting to think about who I will be hiring instead.

[jawjateck]

I'm already starting to think about who I will be hiring instead.

 

Attaboy, jgoo! The best healing balm for your mind is to grind bods with another hot Hooville stud! Do the deed with your hunk du joir and thoughts of the other bozo will blissfully fade away.

[jimboivyo]

I'd cross the guy off your christmas list, but without knowing the other side of the story, I can't recommend nailing him to a cross in public just yet. No use in just hurting someone's business when they really didn't harm you in any way. your egomight be a little bruised, but that's no reason to retaliate like a wild monkey.

[CowboyUp]

Jgoo,

Please don't blame yourself in any way for this escort's unprofessional behavior and poor judgement. He obviously feels clients are disposable. It's his loss, not yours. He did you a huge favor, my friend. I agree with JJT, Don't look back. There are so many other hot fish in the escort sea!

[JackTwist]

I've learned that if an escort is unresponsive and/or disrespectful in his correspondence prior to your appointment, it's highly likely he's going to be a disappointment during the session as well. Count your blessings (and the money you saved) on this bad apple. You did absolutely nothing wrong jgoo. I wish you the best.

[Guest MickeyMoosie]

Keep in mind how often these guys are jerked around by "serious" clients who cancel at the last minute. It might explain why he thought you fell into that category.

[Guest FTLdude]

I'm already starting to think about who I will be hiring instead.

 

Now we're talking!

[NYTomcat]

Keep in mind how often these guys are jerked around by "serious" clients who cancel at the last minute. It might explain why he thought you fell into that category.

 

While I agree the behavior from the op's description sounds harsh ... but mm is right here. It may be a good Guy suffering a bad run of cancellation and just overreacted. Im not saying give him another chance...save your cash. But public roasting... I think may be a bit extreme. Just as I said in my recent post about nonresponsive guys. They were well reviewed but I will not meet them. ... but im not roasting them either. No one will lose money for set up over set up foibles

[BgMstr4u]

It sounds like you dodged a bullet on this one. There are lots of possible explanations for what happened, many of which are explored in this thread. The one certainty is that he canceled on you. He is the "service provider" and he did not provide with the promised service. That should be enough to take him off your list. You still have your money, so it's not a total loss. Frustration -- yes. But perhaps not as much frustration as might have resulted from getting together when he seems not really to have wanted to. There are plenty of great guys out there who would love to show you a good time. Go for them.

[Guest greatness]

oh my how could someone do this my sweet jgoo. Well I will tell you what usually say to both escorts and clients, "It happens". I had my share of disappointments. Try hiring someone else and please try not to let things in the escort business get to you. I hope you have a better luck next time. Kisses and hugs~~

[depomedrol]

You aren't alone

 

Interested to know opinions if I am over reacting or if I was treated rather shabbily.

I am always open to considering that I could do things better but it just seems so unprofessional to me the way he went about this and frankly I am a little pissed about it. So excuse some venting here but I would appreciate others views as I may not be seeing all possible sides at the moment.

 

I have to tell you that you are not alone. This exact situation happened to me as well with a well-reviewed, top ranked guy. I'm wondering if it might even be the same person. I was very upset initially and thought it might have been something I had done. Please PM me if you want the escort's name/details.

 

Cheers,

Depomedrol

[jimboivyo]

is this really that tough for you guys to deal with? The meeting didn't take place, but all that was really hurt was your pride. Just swallow it. Be glad you didn't get ripped off and quit trying to create a situation that's just not worth it. There a lot of other fish in this sea

[Michael Wayne]

May I ask if this was a LOCAL overnight or were there travel arrangements in place? Also, the same thing happens from our perspective as escorts. Let me tell yall about this one: I had a great inquiry and booking for a 2 day travel overnight. It was booked 6 weeks in advance for this weekend by phone and by email. When I contacted the client to pay for the travel arrangements I had reserved by email I got a terse one line response to call him at 8pm the next night. He knows good and well that I can NEVER talk on the phone at night as that is prime time in my biz. All of my phone calls are in the am or early afternoon. So obviously I did not call as I assumed he had flaked out or changed his mind or hired someone else. Well, as the dates drew nearer I assumed I would hear SOMETHING from him even if to officially cancel but NOTHING! I am not mad, not at all, as I have plenty of business but I mention this to you to show that not only are clients hurt by unprofessional escorts but also escorts are hurt by clients all the time. Now, one last thing to the original poster of this important thread: I WILL SHOW UP AND I WILL BE PROFESSIONAL WITH YOU if you ever want to. http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

[jgoo]

is this really that tough for you guys to deal with? The meeting didn't take place, but all that was really hurt was your pride. Just swallow it. Be glad you didn't get ripped off and quit trying to create a situation that's just not worth it. There a lot of other fish in this sea

 

I don't believe I am trying to create a situation and am only venting at an unfortunate situation that resulted in disappointment, trying to get a perspective if there is something I could have done differently. We all have our particular circumstances, interests and what attracts us to escorts so the fish in the sea may not be as plentiful as one may think. I don't hire that often and when things come together for a meeting I do get excited. And don't assume that there weren't some costs and/or inconveniences incurred based on our confirmed meeting so pride was not the only thing in play.

[Michael Wayne]

that is the jist of my question: had you paid for travel and/or hotel? That is what matters here.