What does it mean when an escort lists as a "total top?"

[Phil_musc]

I've seen this in numerous ads on RB, but I'm not exactly sure what this means. Does it mean that the escort will only top in anal but engage in mutual oral? Or is mutual oral off the table also? I suppose the obvious answer is to ask the escort himself, but it would seem that some sort of standardized lingo should be apparent. Perhaps I should have posted in The Dell but I'm hoping for some sort of response regardless. Thanks, Guys!

[Guest greatness]

well

 

I think it seems the person never bottoms for anal under any circumstances for sure but you have to ask about his oral preference. I have met some people who can't bottom because of anal warts. It is rare but it happens.

 

I've seen this in numerous ads on RB, but I'm not exactly sure what this means. Does it mean that the escort will only top in anal but engage in mutual oral? Or is mutual oral off the table also? I suppose the obvious answer is to ask the escort himself, but it would seem that some sort of standardized lingo should be apparent. Perhaps I should have posted in The Dell but I'm hoping for some sort of response regardless. Thanks, Guys!

[Phil_musc]

Thanks, Greatness. What led to my question was Chris is currently in Philly and his ad says he's a "total top." Recent reviews says nothing about his oral skills, but earlier ones comment and say "both" for oral which sounds pretty mutual to me. THis "total top" thing seems kind of a subtle gay put-down to me and makes me uncomfortable. Am I wrong in thinking this?

[Guest greatness]

Well you are getting a service and you are not wrong to feel or think that way, I think. Please just communicate with the service provider clearly about your concern. Some escorts get where you are coming from and will try to make you comfortable and accomodate you. I don't think the escort doesn't mean that way so please address your concern the escort directly. I hope you can get what you want. Kisses and hugs~~~

[leigh.bess.toad]

Thanks, Greatness. What led to my question was Chris is currently in Philly and his ad says he's a "total top." Recent reviews says nothing about his oral skills, but earlier ones comment and say "both" for oral which sounds pretty mutual to me. THis "total top" thing seems kind of a subtle gay put-down to me and makes me uncomfortable. Am I wrong in thinking this?

 

Phil -- I do think you may be a bit wrong, but not much. G is right -- you need to talk to the escort. To me, total top refers simply to anal intercourse. However, it does set off warning bells in my head that need to be answered. If he simply never bottoms during anal but is very active and passionate about oral, both giving and receiving, as well as kissing, for me it is fine. But where you are right and what raises my alarm is those that mean "I only fuck and that's all I do". I have, apparently like you do, an antipathy towards gay-for-pay straight guys willing to fuck us for the buck but that's it. There are certainly plenty of great tops who are gay that we don't need to be importing them from the other team, no matter how fucking hot they are. It wreaks of a "mercy fuck" -- "poor fag, I'll give him a thrill by having the straight boy fuck him". I hate that with a passion and it disgusts me that we are presented with crap like that.

 

But you must talk to the escort what he truly means and what he is and/or isn't willing to do.

[Phil_musc]

Thanks, Guys. You've pretty much read my mind. The only other thing I would say is that I have actually had experience with guys who were not just gay for pay but definitely "in the life" and seemed to be lacking in oral skills - at least for the time they were with me. This is too much of a psychological put-down to me. I have to feel that the escort is at least somewhat into me , even if only for the moment and if only for the obvious cash rewards. This hasn't been a frequent issue, but it has happened, and quite frankly, I expect more bang for the buck than that would imply. Sorry to be so blunt about it, but as has been pointed out, this is a service. I guess really it does come down to talking directly with the provider. But even here, I've read enough reviews where it appears that the provider failed to live up to what may have been discussed before.

[Guest greatness]

It happens to me too and then it doesn't end there either. That's why I don't want to hire any more. Kisses and hugs~~~

 

Phil -- It wreaks of a "mercy fuck" -- "poor fag, I'll give him a thrill by having the straight boy fuck him". I hate that with a passion and it disgusts me that we are presented with crap like that.

 

[Guest greatness]

I can understand where you are coming from and I think everybody goes through the same thing. You just have to deal with the reality. I do support you no matter what and there is nothing wrong for you to feel that way. Most everybody here goes through the same thing as clients. But there are escorts who try really hard to deliver so look for those escorts.

[Decatur Guy]

I've always taken the phrase TOTAL TOP to mean: I never get fucked in the ass. Most guys who never get fucked still like to suck and get sucked. There are some TOTAL TOPS who also don't suck cock either. I'm not sure anyone has come up with a quick code word for that yet.

[+ Chris]

' Dear Perspective and current Clients,

 

To me total top has always mean't I do not get fingered,I do not get fucked and I just dont enjoy play there. My current reviews are excellent and I provide above average service and companionship. i am 100 % gay and very friendly. I do appreciate any suggestions when it comes to my advertisements and any current wording in any current ad. If your looking for a certain scene, I would ask that you simply contact me , tell me about your concerns and expectations and I will be happy to meet or exceed those. I will be removing "Total" from the top.

 

 

Chris

[Guest greatness]

oh my

 

Thank you. I wish you the best in the business. Kisses and hugs~~~

 

' Dear Perspective and current Clients,

 

To me total top has always mean't I do not get fingered,I do not get fucked and I just dont enjoy play there. My current reviews are excellent and I provide above average service and companionship. i am 100 % gay and very friendly. I do appreciate any suggestions when it comes to my advertisements and any current wording in any current ad. If your looking for a certain scene, I would ask that you simply contact me , tell me about your concerns and expectations and I will be happy to meet or exceed those. I will be removing "Total" from the top.

 

 

Chris

[Diverdan]

Nothing is better than to have a frank conversation with your service provider. I have had guys who listed "total top" and when I talked with them, I found some who were into much more. In those cases, they wanted to emphasize their top skills and preference, but were more than willing to be versatile. I think part of it may be chemistry, part of it may be how the whole event is orchestrated and how spontaneous, as oppossed to being planned, both parties are. A conversation ahead of time also sets the stage for the interaction and makes for a much better encounter on both sides. Conversations also usuallly are preludes to regular engagements! So, have a conversation before making a decision. You'll be glad you did for many reasons.

[Guest greatness]

Great Advice!

 

You are right Diverdan.

[Decatur Guy]

Nothing is better than to have a frank conversation with your service provider. I have had guys who listed "total top" and when I talked with them, I found some who were into much more. In those cases, they wanted to emphasize their top skills and preference, but were more than willing to be versatile. I think part of it may be chemistry, part of it may be how the whole event is orchestrated and how spontaneous, as oppossed to being planned, both parties are. A conversation ahead of time also sets the stage for the interaction and makes for a much better encounter on both sides. Conversations also usuallly are preludes to regular engagements! So, have a conversation before making a decision. You'll be glad you did for many reasons.

 

AMEN. I always talk on the phone two or three times ahead of time.

[Decatur Guy]

' Dear Perspective and current Clients,

 

To me total top has always mean't I do not get fingered,I do not get fucked and I just dont enjoy play there. My current reviews are excellent and I provide above average service and companionship. i am 100 % gay and very friendly. I do appreciate any suggestions when it comes to my advertisements and any current wording in any current ad. If your looking for a certain scene, I would ask that you simply contact me , tell me about your concerns and expectations and I will be happy to meet or exceed those. I will be removing "Total" from the top.

 

 

Chris

 

I don't think I'd remove it. If anything, I'd keep it and elaborate on it a bit.

[Guest FTLdude]

...some people...can't bottom because of anal warts.

 

Too bad they're missing out because of this, but hopefully they know that these things can be fixed. May take a coupla treatments, but doable.

[NYTomcat]

Chris ... thanks for checking in and clarifying your meaning. Thats the signs of a pro. Im sure any bottom would be pleased. Thanks again and great question o.p.

[Steven_Draker]

That doesn't mean that someone who advertises as a "total top" cannot be a power bottom in his private time. To me this is called 'marketing' or what that given escort is open to do with clients.

[Phil_musc]

As the original poster I wanted to weigh in again here. Thanks, Chris, for taking the time to write and clarify yourself. I'm sorry I missed you when you in my city. However, you mention your recent reviews in your post, and to be frank, the reviews were the reason I had a red flag about contacting you. In the top part of your last 5 reviews, at the part where it says what happened in the session, 4 out of 5 reviewers wrote "Gets" for oral. That, to me, means a non-reciprocal activity, whereas "both" means a more interactive experience. I find non-reciprocal oral places me in a situation that pushes some negative psychological buttons (how many of us grew up hearing the term "cocksucker" applied as the ultimate demeaning insult?). I've moved away from this mindset, but certain situations can thrust me back there. As far as communicating with the service provider beforehand, yes, of course, but there are any number of reviews here where the reviewer writes how the session did not go as discussed. Then too, for me, a like a certain amount of spontaneity in the session - to allow the chemistry between the participants to take it's own course. I still want things to feel at least somewhat like a hook-up in the real world. Probably silly, I know, since the session is anything but a hook-up, and yet some guys can deliver that experience for me (Thanks, Steven!).

[justaguy]

I find non-reciprocal oral places me in a situation that pushes some negative psychological buttons (how many of us grew up hearing the term "cocksucker" applied as the ultimate demeaning insult?)...Then too, for me, a like a certain amount of spontaneity in the session - to allow the chemistry between the participants to take it's own course. I still want things to feel at least somewhat like a hook-up in the real world.

 

phil, you've articulated my exact thoughts. It's for that exact same psychological reason that I don't hire "total" tops. If things are reciprocal, it's just not going to be good for me.

[seeker630]

Nothing is better than to have a frank conversation with your service provider. I have had guys who listed "total top" and when I talked with them, I found some who were into much more. In those cases, they wanted to emphasize their top skills and preference, but were more than willing to be versatile. I think part of it may be chemistry, part of it may be how the whole event is orchestrated and how spontaneous, as oppossed to being planned, both parties are. A conversation ahead of time also sets the stage for the interaction and makes for a much better encounter on both sides. Conversations also usuallly are preludes to regular engagements! So, have a conversation before making a decision. You'll be glad you did for many reasons.

 

Reading all these great responses, it's clear that there IS no standard definition of the phrase. The only way to find out what an escort will do is to ask him. I agree with Steven & others that sometimes it is a marketing slogan. Some clients will interpret it as a sign of 'hypermasculinity' or 'straightness', whcih appeals to their own preferences & fantasies. Other clients (myself included), will be put on guard that the escort *mat not be versatile enough (kissing, oral, etc.) to satisfy us.

 

While I seldom contact anyone who uses that phrase, on a few occasions I've met guys who were quite versatile & engaged orally, tho they didn't bottom.

[Michael Wayne]

As a total top escort I should answer this thread. It means, for me, that I love to top and am the best at it. When the client sees my dick and my muscles and my masculinity there is no thought of me ever being the bottom and i never bottom. However, I am very versatile orally and I love to suck cock. I am romantic and do not have that nasty arrogant attitude some tops have. I also do not do the whole leather, bondage s and m thing at all. Some clients feel that a total top gets into that- no! What I want to get into is your ass- deeper and harder and longer than most mere mortals can go. I am sure the phrase has a different meaning for others but that is what it means to me. http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

[Guest GQ Pro]

I think a total top usually means they will not bottom under any circumstances. However, I they may still enjoy sucking cock.

 

http://gqpro.tumblr.com/

[Guest FTLdude]

there is no thought of me ever being the bottom and i never bottom. http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

 

Does that mean you'd never let a client or your significant other anywhere near your ass? I'm not talking about bottoming out as in penetration with a cock or a dildo, but how about a finger? Or would you let a client rim you?

 

What I'm trying to figure out is how you can know that you wouldn't love it if you've never tried it. I have a buddy who was exclusively top also. He had a boyfriend who was versatile, and he did eventually let the boyfriend fuck him a few times until he got to liking it. Now he's still mostly a top but he does love to get fucked now and then.

[Michael Wayne]

sorry it took so long for me to answer this question but as the only total top escort in my area my dick has been real busy lately (cha- ching!) Ok, for the record, I fucking love to be rimmed and alot of Top tops find it amazing when the bottom rims you before you fuck him. I enjoy my finger (fingers) but other guys' fingers poke, scratch and hurt me so not really into that. In the interest of honesty and full disclosure I have tried everything which is what I tell clients who are unsure about bottoming or unsure about bottoming for a guy with a huge cock like mine: try it and see if you like it. I tried it all as a 23 year old boy and found that my calling was as a total top. My, "power bottom," friends tell me that I am crazy for not bottoming if a particular client is hot muscular and hung. They tell me that there is much joy and pleasure in the dark side of the force. I am sure there is ..........