Off-putting email

[justaguy]

Here’s the exchange: me—liked your ad, would be interested meeting, are you available on?; him—sure, details?; me—brief sketch of my physical description and what I’m looking for; him—doesn’t know me, can’t commit to doing anything until we meet and he sees what I look like.

 

Context: I’m your standard issue straightforward vanilla, so nothing I inquired about should have raised an eyebrow with an escort who, to my knowledge, has been in business for at least two years. He’s been reviewed on Daddy’s a few times, but all are of the "Great guy. I don’t want to get into the details" variety, so no help on that front. My emails to him were the same ones that I’ve been using successfully for the last little while, so that shouldn’t have been an issue.

 

At this point I’ve calmed down enough not to respond with a ‘fuck you’ and have even considered that he may have misspoken or been spooked. But I doubt it. He’s lost my business, and that’s where I going to let it stand.

 

Being promised nothing until an escort sees what I look like is a new and unpleasant experience for me. I’d like to get some feedback from the folks who have been around this block a lot longer that I have. Am I being reactionary? Am I missing something here that I’m supposed to know? Is this not all that uncommon?

 

Thanks for you input.

[+ sf westcoaster]

My reaction would he same as yours. Move on and foget this guy!

[jawjateck]

If anything, send him a thank you email. His reply saved you from wasting your time and money. You don't have to deal with him anymore on email, much less actually meet him and then find out what a loser he is, and even better, you can use your fun money on someone better and hotter, who will give you the good time you seek.

 

Happy hunting!

 

P.S. And the only reviews that matter are those with substantial content from credible reviewers. All others are mere ads that I discount.

[jackcali]

Hi, sorry to hear about this, and I think you're right to be offended. I occasionally hire non-pros (off of craigslist, etc.) and I expect them to need to know what I look like to commit . . . because they're not professionals. An escort who's been doing this for a few years and who has a number of reviews should be ready and willing regardless of your looks, absent something extraordinary. On the other hand, think of it this way -- if the escort needs his clients to look a certain way for him to perform, aren't you glad he was up front about that rather than setting up the appointment with you and then backing out or delivering bad service because you don't fit his profile?

[instudiocity]

Being promised nothing until an escort sees what I look like is a new and unpleasant experience for me. I’d like to get some feedback from the folks who have been around this block a lot longer that I have. Am I being reactionary? Am I missing something here that I’m supposed to know? Is this not all that uncommon?

Sounds pretty standard to me. This is the best and only sign you can get that this isn't the person for you - today.

 

I've recognized recently that this type of thing happens not only in the client/escort relationship but in just about every other human interaction. It's not you. It's not him. It's the 'chemistry' between the two of you.

 

In sales, I've figured out that there are just some folks to whom I cannot GIVE AWAY MY WARES and others that can't buy enough from me. In both cases, I find those who are off-putting to me. Yeah, someone who buys everything I sell can gradually get on my nerves, WHILE I'M MAKING MONEY!

 

Give it a while. Try later. Or walk away. But under no means should you feel any negative emotions. That guy just doesn't realize what he's missing, ME! AND/OR He's not what his ad makes him out to be. I refer you to the generic reviews you mentioned.

[Edward]

I have had escorts ask for a picture, (tyler Saint for one) I did not send one and did not contact him further. Also had others ask for photo. I have not sent photos but have given a detailed description of myself. I do have to have sympathy for the secorts. There are some guys I am sure they have trouble getting aroused for. Guess what I am saying is I will not send photo but will give them a detailed description. If that is not enough they can find another client and I can find another rentboy.

[Guest IndyMedic2006]

If anything, send him a thank you email. His reply saved you from wasting your time and money. You don't have to deal with him anymore on email, much less actually meet him and then find out what a loser he is, and even better, you can use your fun money on someone better and hotter, who will give you the good time you seek.

 

Happy hunting!

 

P.S. And the only reviews that matter are those with substantial content from credible reviewers. All others are mere ads that I discount.

 

I love Jawjateck's response. I can't imagine a better response then to send a thank you email!!!

[+ deej]

Being promised nothing until an escort sees what I look like is a new and unpleasant experience for me. I’d like to get some feedback from the folks who have been around this block a lot longer that I have. Am I being reactionary? Am I missing something here that I’m supposed to know? Is this not all that uncommon?

 

Would you prefer being turned down at the door?

 

At least he did you the favor of self-deselecting, although he probably has no clue he did so. He told you up front that he's not for you. Count your blessings instead of getting mad.

[Diverdan]

I basically agree with what has been said, and especially with sending this freak a "thank you"! I have never been asked for a picture, but once in awhile am asked for a description. I did have one very negative experience about a year ago. I had been corresponding with this guy over a month as he was going to visit the city I was working in. He loved everything that I liked and we exchanged some pretty explicit emails. On the day we were to meet, however, he kept changing the time and hotel location where we were to meet. That should have been my first clue. When I got to his room at the appointed time, he invited me in and offered me a beer. I declined and asked to use his bathroom. It was filled with empty beer bottles, which should have been my second clue. When I came out and sat down on the bed next to him, he looked at the floor and said, "sorry man, this is not going to work" and "I think you should just leave now" ! I left wondering what happened. I am sure it was that old "chemistry" thing, but the more I thought about it, the happier I was that I was not out any money and did not have what in retrospect would have been a very negative experience. Chalk it up to just one more interesting experience on this road to happiness... or at least lust fulfillment. I suspect that the "reviews" that this guy had were probably not very real either.

DD

[JT Brooklyn]

Move On!

[AdamSmith]

I love Jawjateck's response. I can't imagine a better response then to send a thank you email!!!

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At least. Never heard a more insulting response from an escort.

 

How about writing back: "OK. Happy to comply, if you could first send me the photographic results from your last colonoscopy"?

[Guest Merlin]

I would be inclined to inform him that if I were as young and gorgeous as he hopes for, I probably would not be willing to pay for it. No one wants to hire a judgmental escort. This will help him to see your side of the issue. He will not last long unless he changes his attitude.

[Gar1eth]

I basically agree with what has been said, and especially with sending this freak a "thank you"! I have never been asked for a picture, but once in awhile am asked for a description. I did have one very negative experience about a year ago. I had been corresponding with this guy over a month as he was going to visit the city I was working in. He loved everything that I liked and we exchanged some pretty explicit emails. On the day we were to meet, however, he kept changing the time and hotel location where we were to meet. That should have been my first clue. When I got to his room at the appointed time, he invited me in and offered me a beer. I declined and asked to use his bathroom. It was filled with empty beer bottles, which should have been my second clue. When I came out and sat down on the bed next to him, he looked at the floor and said, "sorry man, this is not going to work" and "I think you should just leave now" ! I left wondering what happened. I am sure it was that old "chemistry" thing, but the more I thought about it, the happier I was that I was not out any money and did not have what in retrospect would have been a very negative experience. Chalk it up to just one more interesting experience on this road to happiness... or at least lust fulfillment. I suspect that the "reviews" that this guy had were probably not very real either.

DD

. It sounds to me like you dodged a bullet. I wonder with all the beer you saw whether he might have even been too drunk to perform.

 

Gman

[Guest greatness]

Justaguy, I'm sorry that you had to go through this. Well please don't be upset about it. There are plenty of good escorts you can hire in the future. I think it's the best for that it didn't work out. Kisses and hugs~~~

[justaguy]

Now that I've mentally cussed him up one side and down the other and imagined injecting his butt with enough fat cells to make his cheeks dangle down to the backs of his knees, I'm fine. I've had too much fun with too many other guys to let this one rattle my cage for very long. I just wanted a perspective check. Thanks for your input.

 

And to those escorts who think before hitting enter, THANKS for doing things the right way.

[adriano46]

Justaguy,

 

Read this thread when you began it and I was stunned but what you experienced, and very relieved that you did not waste any money on this guy.

 

Years back (over a decade ago at least) when I first started participating here, I wrote a comment about how it feels on the part of the escrt standing outside that anonymous hotel room, getting ready to knock and wondering what kind of client stood on the other side of the door waiting for him. I deeply admired (and still admire) the courage many showed just getting up the nerve to knock, put on a huge smile and stand there (knowing 99% of the clients had been already looking at them through the spy hole on the door).

 

Only a few times was I disappointed by what I saw on the other side (in those days I did not care whether or not I had a face pic from the escort). But I never turned a guy away (though looking back... I could have saved a few hundred or better a few thousand dollars by overcoming my lust for common sense)...

 

Fast forward, now that I am older, and not as fit, I have learned to be more selective. I have a jaded business sense that this IS a business deal - he is selling something I wish to purchase, and if I have the money, then it is a contract that is in play. I no longer have the fantasies of the BFE (though happy when it occasionally happens), and I am more selective in terms of who I see and how often. Face pics now are a MUST. Working guys who come across as judgemental, too opinionated (in directions where I have completely opposite opinions), demanding or who require from me more than the upfront money... well I have learned the hard way to follow BrroklynGuy's advice (as I often do), and simply move on to someone else.

 

I learned after being burnt a few times, not to even bother responding to them once they blew me off or cancelled (aside from warning others about them when necessary).

[Michael Wayne]

I NEVER ask for a pic from a new potential client. i do not ask for a description either. if they volunteer it, fine but, in my opinion it is unprofessional to ask. Many times I am very pleasantly surprised by how hot my clients are but, as I tell my young apprentices: the real test is can you bring your," A game," to an overweight, balding, under-endowed client? If you cannot then you need to be selling clothes at ABercrombie and Fitch. The hot client is only 25% of the business. The gift of an escort and what makes someone an escort is the ability to perform regardless of the clients' looks.

[Guest greatness]

Oh my Mikey that's so sweet.

 

I NEVER ask for a pic from a new potential client. i do not ask for a description either. if they volunteer it, fine but, in my opinion it is unprofessional to ask. Many times I am very pleasantly surprised by how hot my clients are but, as I tell my young apprentices: the real test is can you bring your," A game," to an overweight, balding, under-endowed client? If you cannot then you need to be selling clothes at ABercrombie and Fitch. The hot client is only 25% of the business. The gift of an escort and what makes someone an escort is the ability to perform regardless of the clients' looks.

[instudiocity]

And to those escorts who think before hitting enter, THANKS for doing things the right way.

I ALWAYS want my escorts to 'think before hitting enter'! Have I got him turned on enough? Enough Lube? Condom? Ready ENTER!

[runthemhoes]

just like any business, people have the right to refuse service. at least he's honest about it up front. i know a guy that will sleep with men up to 350 lbs but won't touch an uncut dick.

move on.

[+ Chris]

To my fellow message board members,

 

Occasionally I will ask for a photo if there is going to be a long period of time spent with each other , or If I am traveling. Sometimes are own self descriptions might not be so accurate. fit and healthy may translate to some as a bit overweight but can still get it up. lol. Its my belief if your hiring and want to guarantee yourself with a good time that a photo can give you both something to look forward to , or the ability to simply move on. Personally I love to see a photo. some can be arousing and others I know before hand that it just wont work. But if the photo issue arrises then a phone call can be an easy way to grow a repore and see if there is chemistry on other levels.

 

Chris

 

 

Chris

[leigh.bess.toad]

Justaguy -- I personally would prefer a good swift kick to a certain part of his anatomy with steel-toed Red Wings, but I do love the idea of a thank you card. But the best of all would for you to inform the rest of us clients who this jackass is we won't bother wasting our time. If he's in DC and it's someone I want to come see, can you warn me who it is so I won't bother wasting my time on jerks such as this?

 

Just MHO.

[+ Shoreboy]

I have never had anyone I have hired ask for a face picture...to see if he likes me. I have had a few ask me to describe myself and that is fine with me.

 

To me an escort that is that selective is literally going to put himself out of business.

 

I would send him the mentioned "thank you email" but add the addendum saying "after some consideration I feel you are not my type"...and leave it at that

[justaguy]

It was just an email. Aside from my momentary WTF, no harm was done. As far as I know he's actually a good escort who was careless in chosing his words. He lost my business because of it. Any other response, naming names or emailing back, would be petty or serve only to massage my ego. I take that back. DC has no shortage of good escorts. The appropriate response is to turn around and hire one. :-)

[justaguy]

LOL Two thumbs up for this response! Thanks.