Now this is probably a new one on most of you

[Guest fim1ur1234]

I have enjoyed hiring escorts occasionally for years. I have met some stellar people doing this. Actually, I find escorts are generally more enjoyable to be around than the average "man-on-the-street." My problem is that I have been exclusively a top up to now. But I have recently had surgery for prostate cancer. Had a total prostatectamy. As a result, I can no longer get an erection. (I mean NOTHING.) I have decided that if I am to get any pleasure from a cock in the future, I will have to get the pleasure from someone elses cock. I would like to try sucking someone off and probably bottoming too. My question is, how do I pick a good escort, and how do I apporach him with my dilema. I forgot to mention that I'm older (64) so any potential "teacher" will have to be ok with that too. I appreciate any advice that you can give me.

[doitb4ugo]

First of all, allow me to say how sorry I am that this happened to you. I am going to hazzard a guess that there are a number of escorts out there who would have no problem in playing with you. I have met in my short time doing this, several guys who I am usre would be great teachers and kind friends to you in your exploration as you make this transition. I will not name names here of who I think would be a good choice for you but if you PM me and let me know what type of guy you are looking for and where you are located I would be appy to help in any way I can....

 

Also, I am hoping that a number of escorts on the forum would offer you some advice and counsel. I think that a numer of guys here would be perfectly suited for what you need.

[Guest greatness]

I'm glad that you've recovered from your cancer and well enough to resume sexual activities. I bet there a lot of escorts who can provide service you want.

[Mark Gordon]

This will not be a new situation for most experienced escorts. Over the years, I've met several guys with vaious levels of dysfunction following prostate surgery. Some still enjoy being stimulated and can achieve non-ejaculatory orgasms. Others have chosen to concentrate on stimulating their partner and exploring the joys of bottoming. My advice would be to try to find an experienced escort and be upfront about your personal circumstances and expectations in an email, then try to gauge how suitable they would be from their response. Good luck and have fun!

[+ glutes]

Advice: Benjamin Nicholas & Noah Driver - both based in San Antone. Well endowed and well reviewed, both have a large and supportive following here on the Message-Forum. I am sure you can add 'teacher' to their stellar abilities!

 

http://daddysreviews.com/images/noah_and_benjamin.jpg

[Diverdan]

Congratulations on getting through the successful surgery, even if it resulted in this problem. For some guys the problem lessens over time, so hope that is the case for you. In any event, as some have already said, communication is the key. You need to share your situation with the potential escort and make a decision based on how they handle it. I think that most of the well reviewed escorts that have been discussed here will not have any problem in helping you have a fun time. Good luck and let us know how things progress. We are all wishing the best for you!

[NYTomcat]

Ok fim this was not my problem but I had medical limitations concerning bottoming as well as a lot of psychological ones. It was exactly the reason I turned to escorts for the solution. First read the reviews and look for escorts who have a history of being good with First timers. While u may not be one... it shows they are patient and to some extent teachers willing to work with you. Now I choose romann just my poison if you will but im more the versatile hirer and wanted the topping experience as well. I would say he would be a great choice. But far from the only One.

 

When I Truly wanted to get past certain fears of bottoming... I hired davidsf who was terrific as well at walking my through and making sure I both enjoyed and learned. Dont let his tough top videos blind you to the fact he can be patient as well.

 

Then Raul Manzo ... really known for his versatility and even his bdsm play. Well he will cautiously and carefully walk you through it as well.

 

Now this is far from an exhaustive list. Just my experiences but the truth is. Communicate openly like you did here and I assure you the better reviewed escorts can and will make it a very pleasurable experience.

 

PS glutes. The OP has a serious question. Though I doubt you meant it as such I will take your point as recommending Mr. Nicholas and Mr driver. Im sure a number of our members would agree they have the qualifications to assist the OP with his issues.

[+ glutes]

PS glutes. The OP has a serious question. Though I doubt you meant it as such I will take your point as recommending Mr. Nicholas and Mr driver. Im sure a number of our members would agree they have the qualifications to assist the OP with his issues.

 

And serious I was. They are all solid Texans, they could meet in Austin for the lessons...

[uwsman2]

I second the recommendation of Raul Manzo. He's an intelligent and very sexy man and would probably be the ideal guy to initiate you gently into the pleasures of being a bottom.

[scottspearsxxx]

Age is just a number and most guys are unlisted and that is great by me. I love being a versatile escort as I enjoy all aspects and all types of guys for man action.

[Michael Wayne]

I see NUMEROUS clients in your situation. Many become expert cocksuckers. Some can achieve climax without getting hard. Many do become bottoms. The issue there is this: and if we have any M.D.s on the forum I wish they would speak up- Without the prostate gland the sensation of bottoming is assuredly less intense. The question is how much. now, I have a few women clients who like anal- alot and, of course, there is no prostate . anyway, good luck and if you ever find your way to New Orleans I would see you gladly and, by the way, with me age is not an issue. http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

[Rod Hagen]

I'm not convinced you have to say bye bye to your erections. I've seen many clients after their prostatectomy and, like Mikey, we work together to transition bottoming into their new favorite contact sport. However, after I suggest to them they talk to their doctor about a caverject prescription, nearly all of them have had some success achieving an erection (a couple even had a non traditional orgasm with their newfound hardon) in our threesomes: Me, Him, and caverject. Good luck, let me know if that works!

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=caverject

[leigh.bess.toad]

fim -- I thiknk you have received some wonderful recommendations here. I think the best though is to first find someone you find appealing and then do the homework. Are they experienced with first timers. Because in some senses you are. You do need to insist of having a serious discussion with the escort before you meet about the medical isssue involved. They may not be experienced with that but that really may not matter. But they need to be patient and kind and willing to work with you. I would certainly not recommend hiring for a one hour appointment. Allow time to explore. Don't go in with preconceived notions of what you can and can't do either. Your body may surprise you as well. Pleasure can come in many forms. It isn't all about ejacujlation.

 

But I think Rod is also very astute. For heaven's sake, talk to your doctor(s). They have been through this with thousands of patients. They are certainly familiar with the issues, regardless of sexual orientation.

 

I am assuming that your doctors are confident that they have removed 100% of the cancer. And if so, you should have many, many years to explore this new side of sexuality. Take your time. Enjoy. Learn. Explore. For me, much of the pleasure was in the exploration and the learning. And as I have said here many times, for me, the sexiest part of a man to me is what is betwen the ears, not what is betwen the legs. Be creative. And be open to learning from the escorts. The other point I've always made here is that to me the great escort is teacher, mentor, guide, philosopher, social worker and many other skilled sets all rolled into one. Lean on these skills these great pros have. And you may just find to your great amazement that your greatest sexual pleasure is yet to come.

 

Good luck. Be sure to check back if we can answer other questions. And keep us informed on how you are doing.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey fim1ur1234,

 

First of all, please let me welcome you to the forum. I am very happy to read that you are recovering after your procedure and excited at the prospect of wanting to explore new ways to enjoy your body and receive pleasure.

You have received many very interesting suggestions. I would agree that it could be worthwhile to ask your doctor just in case you are not aware of possibilities like perhaps Caverject.

 

There are a few incredibly talented escorts that are patient, expert, careful and compassionate teachers who have show again and again their ability helping people exploring new pleasures. Men like Raul, Romann and David, to name a few, have all the necessary expertise and knowledge about their own bodies, which would enable them to help you learn about your own; we are all different, so the trick is not to learn a set of rules that have worked for other people, but to learn to listen to your own body, which is always telling you what it needs.

 

The only thing that I wanted to add is perhaps the suggestion to change your focus a little: Instead of thinking that since one thing in your body doesn't work you have to focus on the other; try to think of your body as an entirely new body. You have perfectly healthy skin, nipples, mouth, ass, arms, feet. Instead of focusing on being able to get fucked, put yourself in the hands of a talented lover and pay attention to what your body tells you; perhaps you will discover new erogenous zones that you never acknowledged before because you were so focused on what you thought you liked.

 

Some of the men that I have met after a prostatectomy have discovered that they thoroughly enjoy bottoming, even without a prostate. (For some bottoms being directly stimulated on the prostate can be incredibly uncomfortable, so the lack of it could in some instances be an advantage) Some men, however, have discovered that anal sex is not their thing and have seen that other areas of their sexuality and their bodies, previously ignored, have developed and become more important. Some become avid cock suckers, some focus on their nipples, kissing, their balls, pain or caresses. Some become interested in all sorts of fetishes, from toys to watersports. There are many ways in which intimacy and sexuality can be fulfilling, and keeping an eye on your body's response is the only thing that will let you know what works for you and what doesn't.

 

What I am trying to say here is to keep an open mind. I have worked with a few men who after a prostatectomy felt for a long time that they were defective because they couldn't top and they didn't like bottoming, and since that is all that we commonly see as sex, mainly because of porn, they thought their sex life was over. Penis-anus penetration is only one of the many ways in which we can enjoy our sexuality, and if you keep an open mind you may be very pleased about what you discover about yourself.

 

Lastly, by all means be explicit about your situation and objective whenever you contact a potential escort. While there are many incredibly talented men out there who are very articulate in a wide range of sexual activities, there are some escorts that are pretty circumscribed to the realm of suck-fuck-cum routine and would feel out of their depth with a man who is exploring his body in new ways. You may have a normal temptation to force yourself into pre-written genitally-centered sexual scripts, you don't need another person's expectations on top of them. If an escort seems not very clear about what you are requesting, if his answer doesn't feel satisfactory, simply move on. There are plenty of men who will know what you need.

 

I wish you an exciting and fulfilling adventure into your own pleasure!

[doitb4ugo]

Thank You, Juan,

 

As usual, you gave fim1ur1234, and all of us something deeper to think about in our own efforts at seeking and exploring pleasure. As a person with a reputation for being willing to try anything once, I applaud your advice. I have learned so much about my own pleasure points that you advice rings true to me...And happily antithetical to those who prescribe to the notion that sex is somehow simple....thanks.

[bcohen7719]

There is one professional book in this area, but written both for physicians and patients. It is the most authoritative resource available--I would not trust any

"popular" books. A link to "Amazon" is below. In addition, the organization

"MaleCare" despite its name serves almost exclusively gay men both before and

after prostate surgery or non-surgical treatment. Here

is a link: http://malecare.org/gay-prostate-cancer-and-doctors/

 

There may be a new book coming out on "Gay Men & Prostate Cancer" because

of very new developments. I'm only partially familiar with the manuscript.

 

This is a tough area to discuss openly, even in a closed forum like this, but

I know there is a great deal of pleasure to be had. I would not despair at all.

 

BC

 

http://www.amazon.com/Prostate-Monograph-Published-Simultaneously-Journal/dp/1560235535/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1295130848&sr=1-1

[leigh.bess.toad]

In addition, the organization

"MaleCare" despite its name serves almost exclusively gay men both before and

after prostate surgery or non-surgical treatment. Here

is a link:

 

http://malecare.org/gay-prostate-cancer-and-doctors/

 

BC -- thank you for that link. That is a very powerfully written article that should be read by all doctors who deal with gay prostate cancer patients.

[ChiTown]

Hey fim1ur1234,

 

First of all, please let me welcome you to the forum. I am very happy to read that you are recovering after your procedure and excited at the prospect of wanting to explore new ways to enjoy your body and receive pleasure.

You have received many very interesting suggestions. I would agree that it could be worthwhile to ask your doctor just in case you are not aware of possibilities like perhaps Caverject.

 

There are a few incredibly talented escorts that are patient, expert, careful and compassionate teachers who have show again and again their ability helping people exploring new pleasures. Men like Raul, Romann and David, to name a few, have all the necessary expertise and knowledge about their own bodies, which would enable them to help you learn about your own; we are all different, so the trick is not to learn a set of rules that have worked for other people, but to learn to listen to your own body, which is always telling you what it needs.

 

The only thing that I wanted to add is perhaps the suggestion to change your focus a little: Instead of thinking that since one thing in your body doesn't work you have to focus on the other; try to think of your body as an entirely new body. You have perfectly healthy skin, nipples, mouth, ass, arms, feet. Instead of focusing on being able to get fucked, put yourself in the hands of a talented lover and pay attention to what your body tells you; perhaps you will discover new erogenous zones that you never acknowledged before because you were so focused on what you thought you liked.

 

Some of the men that I have met after a prostatectomy have discovered that they thoroughly enjoy bottoming, even without a prostate. (For some bottoms being directly stimulated on the prostate can be incredibly uncomfortable, so the lack of it could in some instances be an advantage) Some men, however, have discovered that anal sex is not their thing and have seen that other areas of their sexuality and their bodies, previously ignored, have developed and become more important. Some become avid cock suckers, some focus on their nipples, kissing, their balls, pain or caresses. Some become interested in all sorts of fetishes, from toys to watersports. There are many ways in which intimacy and sexuality can be fulfilling, and keeping an eye on your body's response is the only thing that will let you know what works for you and what doesn't.

 

What I am trying to say here is to keep an open mind. I have worked with a few men who after a prostatectomy felt for a long time that they were defective because they couldn't top and they didn't like bottoming, and since that is all that we commonly see as sex, mainly because of porn, they thought their sex life was over. Penis-anus penetration is only one of the many ways in which we can enjoy our sexuality, and if you keep an open mind you may be very pleased about what you discover about yourself.

 

Lastly, by all means be explicit about your situation and objective whenever you contact a potential escort. While there are many incredibly talented men out there who are very articulate in a wide range of sexual activities, there are some escorts that are pretty circumscribed to the realm of suck-fuck-cum routine and would feel out of their depth with a man who is exploring his body in new ways. You may have a normal temptation to force yourself into pre-written genitally-centered sexual scripts, you don't need another person's expectations on top of them. If an escort seems not very clear about what you are requesting, if his answer doesn't feel satisfactory, simply move on. There are plenty of men who will know what you need.

 

I wish you an exciting and fulfilling adventure into your own pleasure!

 

Thanks Juan,

 

Very thoughtful and well written advice!

[swallows22]

Mate, I identify with you 100%. I had the op on 17 March 2004 [Happy St. Paddy's day] Results were exactly the same as you. I was 65 at the time. Went from top to bottom quick smart. As Hagen says, you can have the "shot" into the penis and that works quite well. Actually, I have found that the orgasm's are much more intense. Spoke to my specialist and he says that it is quite common and there is no explanation why.

I live in SYD, but come to the US each year. And I have a feast on the "lads".

Here are some of the "lads" that have I have been entertained by with no repercussions

Alex-Portland-seven years until he retired.

Eric "ript"NY/CHI/SYD three years

Steve Stacks SF on and off three years in SF

Jason Carter DLS

Hagen LA three or four years until I saw less of LA.

Todd Dillon LA two/three years

David-SF once in SF but probably the next day or two in SYD

Justin Baylor LA

Christopher Denver

And there are more, like STJ if ATL can ever meet SYD.

The above is not to establish my reputation as a slut, but to let you know that there are numerous lads out there that do NOT have a discriminatory eye. Off you go, mate. Legs up!!!!! :-]

[hunkymuscles]

Sorry to hear about what has happened to you. A close friend of mine has recently gone through the exact same thing over a year ago. He and his partner have learned to adjust and they still continue to have a very healthy sex life. I think there are many escorts who would be very understanding to your needs. I guess it depends though what type of guy you prefer and where you are located.

Best of luck to you!!

Rex (San Francisco)

 

http://hunkymuscles.tumblr.com

http://www.daddysreviews.com/review/raul_sf