On beauty

[cdqsf]

Several escorts on this board have talked eloquently about finding, in all of their clients, something to get turned on by: a nice ass, a warm smile, a great sense of humor, shared interests. It’s an impressive attitude, and somewhat humbling. And clearly, for many clients, and I count myself among them, an escort’s warmth and personality are important elements in the erotic mix. But let’s face it, for the most part, clients choose the escorts they hire because said escorts are young and hot. You don’t see a lot of grizzled, overweight, 60-year-old guys with bad teeth winning Escort of the Year awards.

 

Escorts, I assume, spend a lot of time working on their bodies. (I have to believe this is true. If any of you manage to look the way you do by lying around on the couch all day, watching Bette Davis movies on TV and spooning chocolate ice cream into your mouths from half-gallon containers, there is truly no justice in this world.) And so I suspect that, alongside your ability to be attracted by various qualities in guys who hire you, guys who wouldn’t be given a second look by the less-enlightened among us, there’s also a part of you that gets off on being admired for the way you look.

 

So, three questions: (1) Doesn’t that mean that, in your own way, you’re trapped in the beauty-standards game, too? (2) If you pride yourselves, justifiably, on being attracted to different people in different ways, is there not then some way in which, in the back of your mind, while you’re driving us wild, you’re judging those of us who are getting off, in large part, on the thrill of being up close and personal with a hot young stud? And (3) How do you put this all together?

 

Just wondering.

[instudiocity]

Wow, does anyone else see "STEREOTYPICAL" in this post...

 

I believe Newbie cdqsf that you begin with assumptions not presently in evidence throughout the M4M board...

 

I'd hazard a guess that most of us clients are attracted to the imperfections of the physical bodies and the perfections of our hires' personality. For me, the image is just a wrapper. The boy can be drop dead gorgeous and turn me completely off with his attitude.

[corndog]

Wow. That's quite a question (or 3). I'm eagerly standing by to see who will step up to the plate with an answer.

[KMEM]

So, you all want pyschoanalysis in addition to whatever else this board or escorts have to offer? Of course, escorts use whatever comes to hand in order to deliver. This does include whatever attributes clients have to offer (in addition to cash) which might indeed include the list above, to wit, personality, charm, pleasant attitude, intelligence and a host of other possible attributes. From what I have read, some escorts might rely upon drugs such as viagra to "help" them during work hours. I also personally think they might use their "imagination" to mentally be elsewhere even though physically with you. Whatever works. So long as they are there for you and you are there for them, all is right in the heavens and earth, or so I think.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Juan Vancouver]

Escorts, I assume, spend a lot of time working on their bodies. (I have to believe this is true. If any of you manage to look the way you do by lying around on the couch all day, watching Bette Davis movies on TV and spooning chocolate ice cream into your mouths from half-gallon containers, there is truly no justice in this world.)

 

One of MY favourite escorts of all times, an incredibly hot Belgian boy who serviced London with his boyfriend, had the most delicious body, lean, strong, with the roundest ass in the world, and he claimed he had never -even once- set foot on a gym. Later on I was able to check the veracity of this claim.He said that he stayed in shape by avoiding all sorts of dairy products. (There really is no justice!)

 

Now, about your questions, yes, of course we are using our physical appearance as a part of our talents. I am a professional actor and have been way before I started escorting. For me, my physical appearance has always been the business card that gets me through the door. (I don't mean that I have to look like Brad Pitt, which would be silly, but that I am called wherever my look fits what is needed.) It is my appearance that gets me the audition or the interview, but it is only my talent and hard work what lands me the role.

 

Exactly the same thing happens with escorting.

 

I have heard tales of incredibly looking guys arriving and after five minutes of bad manners and lack of desire of being there with their clients, they look like ugly, mean spirited, disgustingly ugly creatures.

 

Beauty is not a fixed thing. It can grow right in front of your eyes with a smile, with genuine kindness, or it can disappear in two minutes if it is accompanied by bad attitude. (We all have seen glowing reviews of escorts that at first we would never have described as beautiful, and vice versa.)

 

Do we enjoy being enjoyed?

 

Yes. Period. Who doesn't enjoy being enjoyed? (Whether your personality or your humour or your ass or your dick... when someone appreciates and enjoys some part of you, it feels good. But I am sure that when I enjoy you as my client and have a lot of fun with you and think you are the nicest, coolest, sexiest guy, you also enjoy it. Who wouldn't like that?)

 

Are we trapped?

 

Only if we start believing that our only value resides on our body, or our rock hard dick, or our ability to take cock for hours or our face and youth. If we learn to see ourselves as a whole package, as a human being in the process of growing up and evolving, then sharing our talents is an honour, is fun and an invaluable opportunity that can only be cherished and enjoyed.

 

Do we judge people for liking beauty and youth?

 

Hunh?

 

Do you think a gardener judges the grown grass? or a fuel station judges an empty tank? or an actor judges the audience who would not be able to recite a single line? Appreciation is one of the biggest gifts that someone can give you, so if you are appreciating someone for some of his characteristics, why would you think that someone would judge you? It is possible there are some crazy guys out there who do crazy things, but rest assured that most people will be grateful when you appreciate them.

 

Of course, escorts use whatever comes to hand in order to deliver. This does include whatever attributes clients have to offer (in addition to cash) which might indeed include the list above, to wit, personality, charm, pleasant attitude, intelligence and a host of other possible attributes. From what I have read, some escorts might rely upon drugs such as viagra to "help" them during work hours. I also personally think they might use their "imagination" to mentally be elsewhere even though physically with you. Whatever works. So long as they are there for you and you are there for them, all is right in the heavens and earth, or so I think.

 

I often feel a little sad when I read a perspective like this one. While there may be many escorts for whom all that matters is somewhat delivering a passable service and getting their dough, it breaks my heart that there would be anyone inclined to use such services. I think I would hate it if I thought that the hot guy that I am so thrilled about, is thinking about grocery shopping tomorrow. One would think that with tools such a the reviews it would be very easy to separate the ones who perform perfunctorily and the ones who are really passionate about their job.

 

It is strange that some people, even if offered plenty evidence on the contrary, still choose to believe that we escorts have to focus on something else in order to endure our work.

 

Not all of us, I am sure, but some of us adore our jobs! Some of us feel excited and thrilled, and look forward to spending time with the incredible men we have the honour to meet. There really is nothing like looking that expression in a man's eyes when he discovers a new way to find pleasure in himself, there is nothing comparable to when someone opens up and allows himself to be intimate and open and tender, sometimes for the first time in their lives. It really is not a bad thing, something that one has to use imagination to endure, when one goes to work and gets caressed, and kissed and given pleasure.

 

Escorting is an incredible present from the Universe for me. I feel blessed by being able to do it and enjoy so many people and learn about me and them.

 

If anyone is still thinking that their escorts are suffering their work and stomaching it thinking of anything else, then may I suggest you are in the wrong company?

 

Off the top of my head, I could name 15 incredibly talented escorts who post here who evidently love their jobs. But I think it is not necessary. (That would get me in trouble for not mentioning the others.)

 

You know who you are... we all do.

 

I believe that this profession, when happening under the right circumstances, can be a profound, life altering gift for everyone involved in it.

 

If you are experiencing anything less... you are short changing yourself.

[KMEM]

So, JV, you like old, fat and rich men? I have never thought that "good" escorts did not deliver what they promised. However, I have never thought that old, fat men were so attractive that they were "sex objects". I personally have no problem with escorts thinking about things that might turn them on while they might be with me. Just so long as they are still able to perform and that means a meeting of the minds as well as the body.

 

I find your "sadness" not believeable and a poorly stated justification for your "work".

 

I can completely understand a willingness to enjoy this line of work. There are a lot of benefits and a lot of "good clients" out there. However, trying to make them more than they are is not something that I can agree upon.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Mocha]

I often feel a little sad when I read a perspective like this one. While there may be many escorts for whom all that matters is somewhat delivering a passable service and getting their dough, it breaks my heart that there would be anyone inclined to use such service.

 

Although I agreed with the bulk of your post, I disagree with this sentence.

 

If an escort feels the need to use 'services' (which according to KMEM is viagra, cialis, etc), then how does that make him any less of an escort than a woman who uses lube? There are all sorts of reasons why a person would choose to use those drugs, and in no way does it affect the mind like crystal, meth, alcohol or getting high. Although an escort shouldn't 'NEED' to take any stimulants, I think it'd benefit every escort to atleast carry it just in case. (Im not referring to those illegal drugs). Because sometimes, you meet a client and there's just something in the air that makes you not be able to get hard. Rather than risk a bad review, or moreso disappoint a client...one can prepare themselves. But, to give credit again...no client shouldn't feel that we probably need those to get us going, they shouldn't even be thinking about that. getting fucked is getting fuck. If the passion is all there, the attentiveness, the sensuality, who gives a fuck? Its business, not everything is going to be what it seems...but that doesn't mean that its not. For all you know, the escort may very well be all into the client, and that alone was enough to get him going.

 

No one can sit here and say we're not in a beauty standards game. But, everyone has their type so there's really no need to be overly jealous. For example, there may be some guys with a bigger cock than I do...but I generally make up for that by being uncut (a +) and hairy (another +). Its a niche some people look for.

[Juan Vancouver]

Although I agreed with the bulk of your post, I disagree with this sentence.

 

If an escort feels the need to use 'services' (which according to KMEM is viagra, cialis, etc), then how does that make him any less of an escort than a woman who uses lube? There are all sorts of reasons why a person would choose to use those drugs, and in no way does it affect the mind like crystal, meth, alcohol or getting high. Although an escort shouldn't 'NEED' to take any stimulants, I think it'd benefit every escort to atleast carry it just in case. (Im not referring to those illegal drugs). Because sometimes, you meet a client and there's just something in the air that makes you not be able to get hard. Rather than risk a bad review, or moreso disappoint a client...one can prepare themselves. But, to give credit again...no client shouldn't feel that we probably need those to get us going, they shouldn't even be thinking about that. getting fucked is getting fuck. If the passion is all there, the attentiveness, the sensuality, who gives a fuck? Its business, not everything is going to be what it seems...but that doesn't mean that its not. For all you know, the escort may very well be all into the client, and that alone was enough to get him going.

 

I am glad you wrote this because it showed me how my original post hadn't been clear, so please let me explain what I meant.

 

I do not judge anyone's practice or usage of anything that gets the job done. Each one of us knows our own instrument and should prepare it however it needs to be prepared in order to have a good experience.

 

What I meant is that I don't see why anyone would ever use the services of an escort who appears to be somewhere else, who appears to be closing his eyes and who is clearly trying to imagine he is somewhere else, instead of where he is.

 

A service like that would not only not be of benefit but would be a hugely damaging experience for the self esteem of both participants.

 

I believe every escort should be allowed to do whatever takes to do whatever he wants to perform.

 

What I meant is that I find it hard people would use escorts who clearly don't want to be with them, instead of someone who clearly loves his work.

 

I hope this is a little clearer, and thank you for pointing at the vagueness of my original post.

[Juan Vancouver]

What if....?

 

So, JV, you like old, fat and rich men? I have never thought that "good" escorts did not deliver what they promised. However, I have never thought that old, fat men were so attractive that they were "sex objects".

 

This has already been talked about before many times. Where you may see a fat and old fart, I see a human being, with as many unique and delicious characteristics as we all have. While someone to you may not appear as a "sex object", to me he may be nothing but "that amazing guy, the most talented cocksucker in the world, with the incredible blue eyes and soft skin." or "The funniest, most intelligent, greediest bottom this side of the Atlantic" or "the best rimmer in the whole world, that has you in stiches between joke, lick, spank and cum shot after cum shot."

 

It would seem that you and I have different ways to look at people, and no way is better than the other, but it would be ridiculous to assert that you are right and I am wrong or vice versa. My way works for me, has brought me amazing opportunities and has brought me immense joy. I hope your way works well for you.

 

I personally have no problem with escorts thinking about things that might turn them on while they might be with me. Just so long as they are still able to perform and that means a meeting of the minds as well as the body.

 

While I respect your choices and your way to look at this, I have always felt a little like the devil's advocate, so I am going to ask something that may sound ludicrous, but believe me, it is something that I know as a fact to be true. (Even if just as a possibility.)

 

Do you think your experience would feel a little different, perhaps better, if you allowed yourself to believe, even for just a second, that instead of your escort trying to think of his pretty young girlfriend to get hard, he is just deeply, genuinely enjoying what is happening with you, and because of that enjoyment, physical, intellectual, emotional, he is getting hard? Wouldn't your experience change if you believed the possibility that you have in you the ability to arouse intense, powerful and gratifying sexual desire in someone? (To arouse intense, powerful and gratifying sexual desire in a young, beautiful, muscular and hung guy, even!)

 

What if your escort is not the only person able to make the other feel good?

 

What if there were qualities in you, aside from your money, that make your escort's time fulfilling and satisfying?

 

 

 

 

What if you are able to make someone feel intensely good?

 

 

 

 

I find your "sadness" not believeable and a poorly stated justification for your "work".

 

I can completely understand a willingness to enjoy this line of work. There are a lot of benefits and a lot of "good clients" out there. However, trying to make them more than they are is not something that I can agree upon.

 

While I sincerely respect your unwillingness to agree with me, it is important to state that just because you disagree with something it doesn't makes it less true. Unfortunately we are not talking about something that we both have power over; the way in which I see my work depends entirely on me, and no amount of agreement or dissension may alter that.

 

Lastly, and even if it is possible that you may assume that this is not true at all, (we can only interpret our experience based on the limited data with which we can compare it.) I must say that I have absolutely no need to justify my work. The same way a dentist would find it strange if someone thought he was justifying the need to fix a cavity, I know well what kind of benefits and purposes my work serves.

 

I am very proud of it, I love it and it is a huge blessing. Not because of all the unfathomable riches that I will no doubt come in contact with, (Behold! All that splendor!) but because of the intensely fulfilling moments in which I am able to -just for a tiny moment- glimpse into the eyes of another human being and feel the exquisiteness of being alive.

 

Oh, and the sex is pretty damn good too! =)

 

I wish you fulfilling, fun, exciting and affirming interactions!

 

(Or just hot sex. Or both.)

[KMEM]

I am pretty well satisfied with who I am and the life that I live. I have no desire to borrow or use your "rose colored" glasses. Thanks, anyway.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[NYTomcat]

Well Kmem all I can say is you and I agree on a lot... but not this one. I dont need rose colored glassess and I am surprised after the length of time you and I have spent with our respective favorite escorts that you cant see the point Juan is making here. I too was at first very jaded and presumed as absolute fact that an escort was able to turn on thinking of something else or even the money. Ive grown to realize that is not it at all. At least with some it is clearly the happiness and or admiration they inspire in others that turns them on.

 

Hell I must admit I have started to find myself attracted to older and classically less desirable (by societies standards) men. The truth is... Im often turned on by the people who are turned on by me. why should I think that I'm completely unique and that some escorts could not share that same predilection. and perhaps you are correct... though I dont think so in all counts. but even if you are... I find Juan's way much more fulfilling for me.... so given my choices... I'll agree with him. Why the hell not wear the damb rose colored glasses. what the hell is wrong with seeing the world more colorful than it may actually be... Go watch the Movie "Life is Beautiful" again....

[KMEM]

I am always surprised when the same words mean different things to different people. I am sure that every good escort enjoys his job. I am sure that everyone has some positive attributes, both clients and escorts. However, I am equally sure that no job is perfect and that not every 24 hour period is all sweetness and light. Even when I am doing the part of my job that I enjoy the most, flying, a strong head wind can make it a long day.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[NYTomcat]

Lol yes you See so right There. But isn't it better to look for the positive that the escort can get turned on by u than assume he is just pushing through the rigors of His job like a pro

[KMEM]

I am only suggesting we probably are well served to not forget they are pros, whatever else they or we might be.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[instudiocity]

Even when I am doing the part of my job that I enjoy the most, flying, a strong head wind can make it a long day.

And with that sentence, KMEM, you have expressed the attitude I hope most escorts take with me. 'Even if the client isn't my perfect match, I am still doing what I love to do.' OR 'I'm doing what I love to do despite doing it with this client.;

 

My current boytoy says, 'I love having sex more than most guys I choose for clients.' At least he sees escorting a choosing his clients, and I hope wisely for both our sakes.

[KMEM]

When good folks meet good folks, good things can happen.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[justaguy]

When good folks meet good folks, good things can happen.

 

In my experience, eye-candy doesn't intrinsically correlate to sexy. There's the guy who's a stud from across the room who, in person, turns out to be a bitchy queen. Not sexy. And there's the not so good looking guy who's personality is simply magnetic. I've met them both; and if I had a choice, I'd rather go home with the second guy--actually, I'd rather be the second guy. IMO, sexy is about a cheerful self-confidence mixed with a desire to get to know other people...and the skills it takes to both give and receive pleasure.

 

Yes, when it comes to hiring what I'm looking for is the combination of eye-candy and sexy. There's money involved and I want the best I can afford. Some times I end up with pretty much eye-candy. Even if the experience is nice or even fairly pleasant, the feeling from my end is that the guy was doing his job and I'm the job. A surprising number of times, however, I've managed to find that combination. In those instances, it's a job when I go to the bank to get a wad of hundreds and when I pay him. In between it's about two guys getting together to have a whole lot of engaging in activities that curl the toes of fundamentalists (probably in envy). It's in those instances when KMEM's statement sums it up: good things happen when good folks get together.

[Phil_musc]

Hello to you who read these messages. I have been lurking in the shadows, reading many of the postings for a while now - at least a year and a half. Reading through this has finally jarred me enough to write something. While I have hired for a while now (with mixed results, although generally favorable ones), it is still difficult for me to get past the basic premise that this hiring thing is a business transaction and that this pleasurable interlude would not be happening without the exchange of dollars, I must say that I was genuinely touched by what Juan wrote in his posts. I found what he wrote spoke directly to some of my concerns and I was really impressed with his compassionate and ultimately affirming attitude. It also impressed me that he took the time and trouble to write so thoughtfully when the reality is that he didn't need to weigh in at all. Thanks, Juan. I've never met you, but you made this guy feel validated with the realization that it isn't always just about the money and that we clients might actually have some attributes that are sexy and attractive to you guys. A part of me still agrees with Kmem and his clear-eyed views here, and I've experienced the situation where I could tell that it was all about the business. But there have also been times when a particularly good escort got me past my natural skepticism and cynicism and made me believe that our time together wasn't just a hurdle for him to get past so that he would have money for the rent. Juan at least made me think beyond my own limiting, self-imposed parameters.

[Juan Vancouver]

 

...But there have also been times when a particularly good escort got me past my natural skepticism and cynicism and made me believe that our time together wasn't just a hurdle for him to get past so that he would have money for the rent. Juan at least made me think beyond my own limiting, self-imposed parameters.

 

Hey Phil,

 

Thank you very much for your post. Welcome to the message centre and I hope you will post more often.

 

I really appreciate your words, and am glad that I may be helping you look at the other side of things. You say in your post that I didn't need to weight in, but I really love doing it and helping the exchange of ideas to happen; this way we, escorts know about you and your needs, and what you find fulfilling, while we may help you understand how we look at our work.

 

I am glad this happened this time.

 

I hope you continue to have fun and fulfilling encounters, and hope to read more of you!

[scottspearsxxx]

I try not to compare myself to anyone else. I am an inshape hairy chested guy that perfoms in gay porn films and escorts. A lot of my clients know what they are getting before I see them as they have seen one of my over 130+ films in advance. I do not judge anyone for anything. I appreciate a guy that hires me as an escort and really enjoy my work. I try to work daily on my physical, mental, and spiritual self and everything else just falls into place. I figure if I eat right, workout regularly and find beauty in the world from whatever angle I can, that I reveal this to my clients.

[+ g56whiz]

When good folks meet good folks, good things can happen.

 

Not to contradict you KMEM but when good folks meet good folks, GREAT things can happen.

 

And I consider meeting you and many (but not all) others on this site to be a very great thing.

[KMEM]

You are only too kind. I have very much enjoyed meeting you publically and privately but not in person () What is the latest on your move to to Indonesia?

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[+ g56whiz]

What is the latest on your move to to Indonesia?

 

It's Malaysia and it should start in the middle of next year. Got to unload the NYC apartment first then begin the complex H2H process there and find a place to live. Thanks.

[KMEM]

Sorry for mis-speaking. I have been to Malaysia and enjoyed it. I only wish you the very best during your move and life there. However, I have to believe that those magic electrons are free to move about without any specified plan, therefore, I expect you to be free to continue contact with this board as well as PM's.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Okliehomo]

Fat, old fart......

 

well.. maybe, on Juan's first trip..... but that was before cancer... and boys, let me tell you, for sure, the only thing good about cancer is that it is slimming....

 

I am only interjecting here, because Juan happened to mention "the best rimmer in the world... " who kept him in stitches and liked spanking... how many of us can there be?

 

Juan, seriously... I am feeling very peckish tonight.... as in, hungry for your sweet, sweet back alley...

 

You are the real deal, a true class act .... and you do have the ability to immerse yourself... feel it yourself and make it real for us. Is that artifice? Nope.... I don't think so.

 

And, of course, it does help to be more than a little bit of a slut...

 

The great ones always are...

 

Okie