Tips for a first-timer?

[magnorman]

Hi Gentlemen,

 

Early 40s bi guy here. Not been with another guy since my 20s, but now exploring this side of my sexuality again. Not interested in a relationship (got one of those, and it's staying primary), so the escort route is relationship-approved.

 

Excited, but nervous. Veering between wanting to try everything--there's a lot I didn't get around to back in the day--and some timidity. Worried about bringing some STI home--even despite all plans to playing safe®. Worried about not being "good." (Silly, I know, but I'm a pleaser...)

 

Can't decide if I'd feel more comfortable on an escort's home turf or in a hotel room. In the former, I have to be honest and say I'd be worried about safety and discretion on some level. (Have read horror stories about hidden cameras, etc.) But that seems silly, too.

 

Guess the real question for you professionals is: just how much of this do I need to disclose to try to increase the odds for a good first time? Would you regard someone with this, "Uh, I'm nervous, and I'm not exactly sure what I'll want--but it could be everything" attitude as too much effort? Are there escorts who specialize in "breaking in" first-timers?

[Guest IndyMedic2006]

My only advice would be that if you talk to the escort and you click on the phone, meet in public (if you have safety issues) and then if he is willing to invite you into his home, I would go back to his place. My first experience brought me into his home for an overnight and it was amazing having him bring me into his world. I am disappointed that he no longer does incalls, but I still love my time with him. Get comfortable with who you are going to be with and you two can figure it all out together.... communication is important. I never worried being in his home, cuz lets face it, no one wasnt to see video of ME naked.... the world ain't ready for all this!

[JoeyBryant]

Hi Gentlemen,

Can't decide if I'd feel more comfortable on an escort's home turf or in a hotel room. In the former, I have to be honest and say I'd be worried about safety and discretion on some level. (Have read horror stories about hidden cameras, etc.) But that seems silly, too.

 

Guess the real question for you professionals is: just how much of this do I need to disclose to try to increase the odds for a good first time? Would you regard someone with this, "Uh, I'm nervous, and I'm not exactly sure what I'll want--but it could be everything" attitude as too much effort? Are there escorts who specialize in "breaking in" first-timers?

 

I'd also say do what you are comfortable with. If you prefer at your place, thats fine or if you prefer to go to others then do so.

 

As for the uh Im nervous part...try not to be. I think your answer is fine for most of us as long as it does not lead to asking too many questions under the guise of being new. But, I think a better answer would be, "Im not too experienced, but would prefer to meet up and see where it goes". Nervous, and not knowing what you want may put us off. Its probably going to be interpreted as, "I'm going to flake at the last minute"

 

So, be casual. Go in, explore and then figure it out. You're not going to get all the answers over phone, email or forum.

[+ Charlie]

Read through the reviews here--you will find a lot by first-timer clients (not just first time reviewers)--and they will tell you who is good at dealing with nervous clients. Using an experienced professional who is well reviewed in itself should help you lessen some of your trepidation. Also, going to the escort relieves you of the secondary concerns involved with entertaining someone on your own turf.

[Guest IndyMedic2006]

Where are you planning to hire? Maybe we can suggest a perfect escort that will make your experience wonderful! We are a whole wealth of escort knowledge.... LOL

[justaguy]

Magnorman, this topic is often discussed. Try using the search feature (upper right corner of your screen). You'll probably find many of your questions or concerns addressed in the various threads. The bottom line, though, is for you to remember that this is about you. It's worth it to take the time to try to figure out what you want and to be patient in finding the escort that best fits your needs. And welcome to the board.

[wayout]

Hi magnorman, welcome to the board. Some great advice given from the other posters. Although not an escort I hope you do not mind me putting in my two cents (much of it may be repeating what has already been said). Finding the right escort is going to be the most important thing for you so that you are able to achieve your desires of exploring this side of sexuality and having it being very pleasurable experience. Assuming you may want to continue to hire in the future, finding someone who does not leave you disappointed becomes even more critical. Too many stories out there where guys have a bad experience and are put off in hiring for years and years.

 

Not meaning to put extra pressure or overstate the importance of this, but it is important for you to take your time in doing proper due diligence in selecting an escort, including understanding from his reviews the experience he has with first timers. As mentioned in other responses, communicate your concerns, needs, etc, and make sure you feel comfortable that you have made the right choice. If you get a feeling that they are being dismissive or not interested in understanding your needs, move on. Always listen to your gut feelings about if the escort is right for you as from my experience, in those cases where I had some internal doubt but still went through with it, the session did not go well for whatever reason.

 

So the best advice I can give you is to find an escort who is truly a professional and is interested in making a connection with you to help you through this phase of your exploration. This site is outstanding in finding those who are and are not of a caliber to suit your requirements so you are off to a good start by posting here. I think fairly quickly you will determine if there is a possible match after you communicate with them, either by email or phone. As justaguy mentions, it is all about you and keep that in the front of your mind.

 

As mentioned there are many threads similar to this so you will be able to get some useful insights from those as well and I think, if you are so inclined, you can also consider private messaging any member who has posted on this (this or other threads) and you have more questions for them. I believe most will be more than happy to give you their advice/experience, assuming they are still active.

 

Finally, let me also echo what IndyMedic2006 has posted and if you care to let us know where you plan to hire then I am sure someone can give you some solid recommendations. Good luck and do let us know how you progress in your search.

[magnorman]

Many, many thanks!

 

Wow. What a great welcome. Thanks, truly--this seems like a rarity online these days: a polite, useful forum.

 

Really appreciate everyone's thoughts--I think the key for me is going to be to spend some phone time, being upfront with "where I'm coming from" and then to arrange a meet in public for brief drinks or coffee and conversation to see if we click. I assume I should offer to pay for that time?

 

I'll be looking, most likely, in the New York City area--possibly Boston. Any recommendations for escorts skilled with first-timers greatly appreciate, and I will do a more thorough search of the forum threads and reviews.

[Romann]

First-time experiences are hot!

 

Hello Magnorman and welcome to the forum. More importantly, thank you for your questions - all great questions/concerns and points of conversation to ponder and consider carefully.

 

Meeting with anyone for the first time can be a bit nerve racking because I would like to think that each of us, both in our professional and personal life would like to make the best possible impression when first meeting. Having said that, our own human instincts can come into play and in some cases, hinder one's ability to truly express themselves to others. If you're nervous, be very clear about that upfront because it sets the stage for how the possible encounter can and should be handled. Communicating to your chosen escort that yes, this is your first time or that you're very nervous and haven't gone this route (hiring an escort) before and/or haven't been with another guy since your early 20's is essential information for all parties involved. I can't say this enough but communication is key and without, there is an increased risk of the encounter not turning out well or not turning out as expected assuming the expectations are realistic and within the abilities of all involved. Escorts are not miracle workers but rather conduits of pleasure, connection and friendship (though many would disagree with me on that last point which is sad but a fact here in the sandbox).

 

In response to your question/concern about meeting your chosen escort either at their location or yours, that's one that is ultimately up to you. In most cases of gentleman callers that I have had the pleasure of connecting with during my 2 year run in this profession, I have personally found that first time gentleman prefer to meet at a more neutral location such as a hotel. I say this because (and IMHO) meeting in a hotel provides an environment that doesn't have direct connection to either party and if there is a safety concern, there are far more people in a hotel compared to one's apartment or home. If the appointment shouldn't go well and it's being conducted in a hotel, then the ability for all parties involved to walk away free and clean from any immediate link to them is there and in many cases can be very comforting. That said, you may find that after meeting with your chosen escort multiple times that the comfort level has been achieved and you may want to experience a time together that is more personal, either in your home or theirs in which again, the environment is more personal which provides for more points of conversation and the sharing of information about one another together in an even manner.

 

While writing up this response to your post, I realized that through the forum, you expressed yourself quite well in your concerns, questions and possible encounter for the future. You expressed that you're new to this, haven't had much contact with another guy since your early 20's and are debating on the location. Here, you have expressed yourself in the way that you should approach your chosen escort after you have conducted the proper amount of research and if you're comfortable doing so, asking other posters in and around your area about who they would recommend for the situation that you're possibly offering. Don't be afraid to reach out to other posters, both clients and escorts to ask your questions and I'm happy that you have posted here in the "Ask an Escort" section which allows for you to personally get a better feel for not only the large amount of information on the site but also to share and listen to other experiences very similar to yours.

 

I cannot tell you how excited I was to see a poster, specifically a potential client to escorts of your that liking deep down inside, you truly care about your partner and want to please them as much as they please you. THIS ALONE is an exciting statement and one that I applaud you on and offer a big, warm and welcoming hug. Instead of being a "taker" you're also expressing your interest to be a "giver" as well in regards to being "good" and again, pleasing your partner or partners if you're so inclined one day to really wrench up the hotties and have a wild orgy!

 

Be open about your thoughts not only to your chosen escort in the future but also have a frank conversation with yourself as well. Determine what it is that you would like to accomplish on your first visit but try to avoid falling for the trap of trying everything all in one session because that, IMHO will most likely result in failure because there is only so much time in the day and I wouldn't advise overloading yourself with new experiences that will take time to process and determine, for yourself which things tried you liked and didn't like. Life is a journey and should be enjoyed with each passing flower that we smell. No need to ram the whole bouquet of flowers up your nose with the hopes of taking everything in at once. Once you have determined the things that interest you but also paying highlight to the things that don't or may not interest you, then you'll be in a much better position to communicate effectively with your chosen escort to your wants, needs and desires. Through the dialogue that I'm sure you will have in the near future, don't be afraid to admit that you're seeking new experiences and haven't had them or a lack of them for a period of time.

 

Communicate. Communicate and communicate. Don't be afraid to ask questions because at the end of the day, each of us had to start at square zero at some point and each of us gained our experiences from others through communication and eventually contact both physically, emotionally and spiritually.

 

I do hope this helps clear up any questions that you may have. Having said that, if you have more detailed questions, please feel free to reach out to me via email and I would be happy to discuss in a more private setting (email) or you're more than welcome to call me as I would be more than happy to discuss further. While your questions are common, your expectations and perceived experiences for the future are very personal in nature and should be handled as such - with care, respect and a sense of adventure for all parties involved. The best times are when everyone is having a good time and I say that with 100% confidence.

 

Again, welcome to the forum and thank you for bringing your thoughts and concerns here. Now, let the juices start flowing and let the imagination begin spinning as to what will trip your trigger!

[NYTomcat]

Hi Gentlemen,

 

Early 40s bi guy here. Not been with another guy since my 20s, but now exploring this side of my sexuality again. Not interested in a relationship (got one of those, and it's staying primary), so the escort route is relationship-approved.

 

Excited, but nervous. Veering between wanting to try everything--there's a lot I didn't get around to back in the day--and some timidity. Worried about bringing some STI home--even despite all plans to playing safe®. Worried about not being "good." (Silly, I know, but I'm a pleaser...)

 

Can't decide if I'd feel more comfortable on an escort's home turf or in a hotel room. In the former, I have to be honest and say I'd be worried about safety and discretion on some level. (Have read horror stories about hidden cameras, etc.) But that seems silly, too.

 

Guess the real question for you professionals is: just how much of this do I need to disclose to try to increase the odds for a good first time? Would you regard someone with this, "Uh, I'm nervous, and I'm not exactly sure what I'll want--but it could be everything" attitude as too much effort? Are there escorts who specialize in "breaking in" first-timers?

 

God you sound like me when I started almost exactly one year ago. I didn't know what to say. How to say it. Or even what I wanted. So I started a thread much like this. Though I had choosen the escort and venue. I have not read all the responses. But my vote is hotel... neutral turf. Point the escort to this post....it will tell him alot.

 

We pleasers always worry about not being "good". Dump that shit now. Yes your meeting an escort for fun. If your not good today he will teach you. Its as much a learning experience as it is a fun one. So if your worried about being good... be a good student. And suck up knowledge along with other things

 

Yes some escorts are better with first timers. Im sure some of the better ones have posted in the thread. Pick your flavor and give it a try. Mine was romann . Of course. But no matter who you meet. Dont try to do it all. Pick a few interests you can reasonably explore and that you think would be hot with the Guy you chose. Learn from those and Try new ones the next time. Dont worry im sure ill see you hogtied and being flogged at the NY bondage club in no time. But take the steps one at a time and enjoy the process

 

Shit.... its no wonder romann yells at me for calling myself newbie .... i guess I really am not a newbie anymore ... hell im downright venerable. Best of luck with your choice and tell us all about it

[magnorman]

Thanks, NYTomcat--very good advice about not trying to (you should all pardon the expression) cram everything in all at once the first time. You and others have been very helpful in these replies. When the time comes, I will indeed share the report of the experience!