Why is it so hard to get an escort to respond?

[leigh.bess.toad]

Hi Mikey9nola,

 

Thanks for your post! I agree with almost every part of your post. Except for one:

"In the escorts' defense- what about the clients who email us and we respond immediately and then they never answer or respond a week later. That happens all the time and is very frustrating. Hardest part of an escorts' jobs is determining which potential clients are real and which ones' are playing games. "

 

In my opinion, if I am a professional escort and get an email I always respond and it is not my duty to determine or be prejudgmental whether that person is going to be serious or a flake. I respond promptly and professionally (therefore the client feels that that's the way he is going to be treated later on in person!). So what happens if he does not respond?! NOTHING! Why would I get frustrated by that? (BTW if I do, I would have a nervous breakdown by the time I reach 30!). If he changed his mind, he did... there is not much you can do about it and I do not want to force somebody to see me who does not want to see me or having second thoughts about it. I am not going to harrass him by sending him extra emails or calling/texting him... If a client does not respond the escort should never have any "attitude" about that. Hiring somebody is almost like an "unwritten/verbal contract" and it only starts when you walk inside of his room. Until that is just a proposal!

 

But I agree with everything else that you mentioned!

 

Wish you the best and lots of clients in New Orleans!

 

Interesting discussion gentlemen. I'd like to add my two cents worth if I may. Peter, you are completely right. First I don't understand for the life of me playing games lke that. It's just so stupid. But more importantly, maybe it's just me and how I was raised. I don't know. But if the escort has answered you, I think that the client should at least let them know that it isn't what I'm looking for, it's too much, whatever the reason -- hell, make one up, But don't leave it hanging. That is just rude. I'm sorry.

 

Now as to the initial contact being by phone. There are those of us who are excessively shy. Hugely shy. The one who is always over in the corner inspecting the plastic fern at the party. In other words, me. I don't think I will ever be able to initiate a conversation with an escort by phone. If he answers, you talk, and he says he's not interested, that fear of rejection, that feeling of complete and total inadequacy can be devastating. The email is less personal and a non-answer is less painful, if that makes any sense to anyone. Even a not interested by email seems less painful. Now the client should include his phone number on the first email if possible. This is a two way street, and both parties need to try to see it from both sides. I know it isn't easy. No one said it would be. But we still have muddle through it together.

[Guest IndyMedic2006]

Peter you said that you get potential clients who email you who are only playing games... Why? Why play games? I mean I can get the allure of getting in touch with you and getting you on the phone so they can talk to you, but why play email games. I mean neither one is acceptable, if you are going to engage an escort there should be atleast some expection that you are going to hire. I mean it took a number of years of reading reviews on here before I found the escort who's reviews clicked with before I was ready to take a leap of faith. I remember when he called the first time and I freaked because I didnt expect him to call. I didnt answer, he left a message, I listened to the message to make sure it was him and then I called him back cuz I figured if he took the time to call I should call him back. It was the best thing I ever did returning the call.

[+ peterhung85]

Peter you said that you get potential clients who email you who are only playing games... Why? Why play games? I mean I can get the allure of getting in touch with you and getting you on the phone so they can talk to you, but why play email games. I mean neither one is acceptable, if you are going to engage an escort there should be atleast some expection that you are going to hire. I mean it took a number of years of reading reviews on here before I found the escort who's reviews clicked with before I was ready to take a leap of faith. I remember when he called the first time and I freaked because I didnt expect him to call. I didnt answer, he left a message, I listened to the message to make sure it was him and then I called him back cuz I figured if he took the time to call I should call him back. It was the best thing I ever did returning the call.

 

Hello IndyMedic2006,

 

Please re-read my post as I did not say anything like this ?!

 

"Peter you said that you get potential clients who email you who are only playing games... Why? Why play games? "

[+ peterhung85]

Interesting discussion gentlemen. I'd like to add my two cents worth if I may. Peter, you are completely right. First I don't understand for the life of me playing games lke that. It's just so stupid. But more importantly, maybe it's just me and how I was raised. I don't know. But if the escort has answered you, I think that the client should at least let them know that it isn't what I'm looking for, it's too much, whatever the reason -- hell, make one up, But don't leave it hanging. That is just rude. I'm sorry.

 

Now as to the initial contact being by phone. There are those of us who are excessively shy. Hugely shy. The one who is always over in the corner inspecting the plastic fern at the party. In other words, me. I don't think I will ever be able to initiate a conversation with an escort by phone. If he answers, you talk, and he says he's not interested, that fear of rejection, that feeling of complete and total inadequacy can be devastating. The email is less personal and a non-answer is less painful, if that makes any sense to anyone. Even a not interested by email seems less painful. Now the client should include his phone number on the first email if possible. This is a two way street, and both parties need to try to see it from both sides. I know it isn't easy. No one said it would be. But we still have muddle through it together.

 

I understand privacy! I also understand that some of the people are afraid to put out their phone number to an escort they have not met before. Who knows what the escort would do. People who hire might be married, or gay but in a relationship, very high profile people or someone who works for the government, maybe a Republican politician ....etc. There are so many versions out there and I understand that those people would not want to jeapordize their career by leaving their phone number. Some escorts will not respond to them but no worries... I will take those clients

[Guest IndyMedic2006]

Hardest part of an escorts' jobs is determining which potential clients are real and which ones' are playing games. Wish you the best

 

Sorry I misunderstood what you meant with the above statement. My Apologizes!

[+ peterhung85]

Sorry I misunderstood what you meant with the above statement. My Apologizes!

 

You did not misunderstand that... It was a quote from "Mickey9nola"... Please re-check that So I think you wanted to address your question to him, not to me

[Guest IndyMedic2006]

Oh, now I really have egg on my face! Again I am sorry for the misquote.

 

So clients that you have that are hesitant or scared or on the DL, how do make those clients more comfortable?

[+ peterhung85]

Oh, now I really have egg on my face! Again I am sorry for the misquote.

 

So clients that you have that are hesitant or scared or on the DL, how do make those clients more comfortable?

 

No worries at all.. It happens to everybody It depends... In person or via email?

[Guest IndyMedic2006]

No worries at all.. It happens to everybody It depends... In person or via email?

 

Both... on the phone or in person or in email....

[+ Oliver]

When making first contact with an escort, I always do so by e-mail. In the message I include where, when, and for how long I wish to see him. I tell him something about myself and my proclivities. I ask him for his rate for the time I have proposed (never less than two hours, and usually longer) and whether he is interested.

But I do not make the initial contact unless I have “researched” the escort by checking the sites on which he has ads, as well as the reviews available here and elsewhere. I always look at the reviewer’s self-description to determine whether he is anything like me, which helps to give a clue as to my compatibility with the escort. I also do not even contact a gentleman if his rate appears to be more than I’m willing to pay.

Very seldom have I not received a response to this initial message. I have had several escorts say that they appreciate the information I have provided, and that it made it easy for them to respond positively. I do not provide my phone number initially. That comes later, along with my real first name, after we have established that there is a “meeting of the minds” for a “meeting of the bodies”.

This has worked well for me.

[+ peterhung85]

Both... on the phone or in person or in email....

 

Good question!

Via email/text/phone call I try to act professionally and prompt also telling the person that I look forward to seeing him. For many people that's the type of encounter ther are waiting for for a long time. Let's say you fly to somewhere and you spot the guy in a month advance. You, as a client really look forward to seeing him... This client might be the escort's fifth date for that day but a professional escort makes every client feel that it is also something very special to himself. People do not want to feel that they are #5 for that day, they want to feel that they are special and that the escort also want to see them as much as they want to see him. If I can make them feel special then that will always give them a very comfortable and pleasant feeling. On a side note: Sometimes a big warm hug, a gentle kiss and/or nice cuddling is UNBEATABLE )

[+ peterhung85]

When making first contact with an escort, I always do so by e-mail. In the message I include where, when, and for how long I wish to see him. I tell him something about myself and my proclivities. I ask him for his rate for the time I have proposed (never less than two hours, and usually longer) and whether he is interested.

But I do not make the initial contact unless I have “researched” the escort by checking the sites on which he has ads, as well as the reviews available here and elsewhere. I always look at the reviewer’s self-description to determine whether he is anything like me, which helps to give a clue as to my compatibility with the escort. I also do not even contact a gentleman if his rate appears to be more than I’m willing to pay.

Very seldom have I not received a response to this initial message. I have had several escorts say that they appreciate the information I have provided, and that it made it easy for them to respond positively. I do not provide my phone number initially. That comes later, along with my real first name, after we have established that there is a “meeting of the minds” for a “meeting of the bodies”.

This has worked well for me.

 

And these are EXACTLY the type of emails that I consider a very serious potential for booking! Well donE!

[+ Oliver]

And these are EXACTLY the type of emails that I consider a very serious potential for booking! ...

 

Hmmm - sounds like I should send one to you when I'm in Palm Springs next winter. Road Trip to Vegas!

[+ peterhung85]

Hmmm - sounds like I should send one to you when I'm in Palm Springs next winter. Road Trip to Vegas!

 

:D You are funny! I am up for it

[Guest IndyMedic2006]

Hmmm - sounds like I should send one to you when I'm in Palm Springs next winter. Road Trip to Vegas!

 

Couldn't you drive though Vegas on your way to Palm Springs from Ohio? :-)

[+ peterhung85]

Couldn't you drive though Vegas on your way to Palm Springs from Ohio? :-)

 

That would be quite a drive!

[Michael Wayne]

Peter, thanks for your insight and wonderful attitude! I guess sometimes in trying to provide superior client services and to respond asap to every inquiry I just wonder WHY they contacted me and then don't respond when I do respond. But what you said answers the question perfectly. Also, I NEVER follow up after the initial reply if I get no response. i do not want the client to feel like I am bothering him. Sometimes, though, I have a sneaky suspicion that some of them WANT to be chased- which is their right. Happy Halloweenie to all! Mikey9nola- http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

[+ peterhung85]

Peter, thanks for your insight and wonderful attitude! I guess sometimes in trying to provide superior client services and to respond asap to every inquiry I just wonder WHY they contacted me and then don't respond when I do respond. But what you said answers the question perfectly. Also, I NEVER follow up after the initial reply if I get no response. i do not want the client to feel like I am bothering him. Sometimes, though, I have a sneaky suspicion that some of them WANT to be chased- which is their right. Happy Halloweenie to all! Mikey9nola- http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

 

"some of them WANT to be chased- which is their right"

There are all kinds of people out there, that's for sure!

 

Happy Halloween to you too and best wishes!!!

[raife]

www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1[/url]

 

Sometimes I'll shoot off several first contacts and I'll be happy dandy with the [eager] first responder. I try to follow up with the slower responses, but some do fall through the cracks sorry...:o.

 

BTW I do love to be chased... I totally love those "miss me yet???" IMs - The eager beavers get more of my love (and loot).

 

Happy Halloweenie to you, sexy stud :o

[Michael Wayne]

But Raife there is a very FINE line between chasing and discretion. As an escort the PRIME DIRECTIVE that I teach all young rent boys is that you never call a client-never email them or text them or im them. Let them contact you. Do not bother them. They will, if you are hot enough, eventually come to you. Even if you are slow never let them think you are desperate. Maybe times are changing and my ways are more old school but the idea of a phone call gets me hard. I love the term , "Call boy," even though no one uses it anymore. IT IS AMAZING THE EFFECT MODERN TECHNOLOGY HAS HAD ON THIS BUSINESS!! My first ads were actually in PRINT - o.m.g. I am a fucking dinosaur( a really cute, hung dinosaur but nonetheless a dinosaur) . So many new threads we could open up on these topics..........good day to all!

[KMEM]

Are they now "email boys" ? Or, "cell boys" ? Could be cell boys if they are too young. "Text boys" sounds a bit schoolmarmish, doesn't it?

 

If the brain is the largest sex organ there MUST be something else besides pressing the flesh, mustn't there? I mean, what am I going to do after the first 5 minutes?

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[RockCreekRunr]

I'm guessing escorts receive a variety of whack-o jack-off callers, prank texts, and strange emails, not to mention the obscure inquiries that may raise suspicions of being the vice squad---all giving them pause before responding. I also imagine the most popular and professional escorts spend almost as much time on pre- and post-appointment correspondence than actually fucking! If I don't receive a reply from my initial request from an escort, I send them another inquiry. If I call, email and text a working-guy and still don't receive a reply, I just assume the guy is busy or uninterested or unprofessional...I don't take it personally...I just move on to the next hot guy. No hard feelings.

[raife]

But Raife there is a very FINE line between chasing and discretion. As an escort the PRIME DIRECTIVE that I teach all young rent boys is that you never call a client-never email them or text them or im them. Let them contact you. Do not bother them. They will, if you are hot enough, eventually come to you. Even if you are slow never let them think you are desperate. Maybe times are changing and my ways are more old school but the idea of a phone call gets me hard. I love the term , "Call boy," even though no one uses it anymore. IT IS AMAZING THE EFFECT MODERN TECHNOLOGY HAS HAD ON THIS BUSINESS!! My first ads were actually in PRINT - o.m.g. I am a fucking dinosaur( a really cute, hung dinosaur but nonetheless a dinosaur) . So many new threads we could open up on these topics..........good day to all!

 

The "never call" approach may be OK for the general case or for first contact, but the guys who violate that rule and call me (after our first meeting) are much more likely to get my business. It's the only real validation I have that he was truly comfortable with our time together and the money I paid him. That makes me feel warm and fuzzy that both our interests were adequately served.

 

Phone contact is vital and necessary and all, but I really hate cold calling a guy from his ad, I'm pretty nervous and tongue-tied and if the guy is suspicious and "pissed off" sounding, being excessively terse, it goes south pretty quickly. I've often wound up mumbling "Thank you for your time, sorry to disturb you..." and hanging up quickly. I totally prefer text/email as a first contact medium because I can get my stats and interests in front of him and if he doesn't respond or says "Don't think we're a match" than I can go about my merry way and try somebody else.

 

I'm a dinosaur from print ad days as well, but back then I really loved "hustler bars", remember those? Damn, such fond memories! I could check out our chemistry, flirt a little, chat him up and it was like a litttle "getting to know you" dance, without the hourly rate obsession that exists now. There was a reasonable session price and I could let events unfold naturally without having to worry about running over another hour. Better days! I like the term "call boy" as well, though "rent boy" is honest and equally good, but every one seems to have settled on "escort" with its double meaning and free plausible legal deniability. Same thing with all the fake "masseurs". Don't get me started on that one.

 

I really love your hints and viewpoints Mikey, sounds like you've had quite a realm of experiences, I'd also appreciate any new threads that get started on these subjects. This is my favorite area of the forum. Manly hugs and kisses dude!

[JoeyBryant]

I believe its going to get alot harder for escorts to respond with this new men4rent client warning feature. I was able to save myself some time after a guy who emailed me was reviewed badly, in which I called the escort and he told me all what went down. So if you don't get a response....think about the status of your track record.

 

But Raife there is a very FINE line between chasing and discretion. As an escort the PRIME DIRECTIVE that I teach all young rent boys is that you never call a client-never email them or text them or im them. Let them contact you!

 

I totally agree.

 

I stood by that rule for months. Then one day, during a rough week a friend says to me, "Joey, have you considered emailing back all the guys you met when you last visited and just simply let them know you're in town, no pressure?" I told him I normally never do that, but I guess it couldn't hurt.

 

I emailed about 10 different clients that I'd seen over the course I was visiting a particular town. And guess what, not a single one came thru. A couple emailed back, but didn't show up. 1 of them even got back to me a few weeks later, made an appointment, and then flaked. Sounds like they had a horrible time? Nope...its just the nature of the business. Its the nature of the gay lifestyle, to be more specific. I could go deeper, but I'll stop there.

 

But, the good news is I did have a client who contacted me from the last time and for all the clients that didn't turn up, I got new clients. Clients who called ME.

 

But, I do believe in exceptions...and exceptions have gotten me business. A missed call, a voicemail, a regular client (not just some dood who came by once or twice)...those are all instances where I believe its perfectly fine to call back or email a client, as long as its within the proper time.