Expectations for an over-night

[Guest loboguy]

My closest metro area is almost two hours away, and has a disproportionately few number of twinks that are my passion. Hence, I've arranged for a number of guys to fly in for an over-night; and I have been very lucky that most have been exceptionally fine young guys, who've been well reviewed. Results have been mixed - satisfaction has been even more mixed. Perhaps I've read too many glowing reviews that have been somewhat exagerated, or perhaps being an over-weight 66 y/o silver-haired daddy, I'm less than the desireable client.

With much anticipation, I've read of multiple sessions during the afternoon and evening of arrival, some play time in the wee hours of the morning, and again in the morning before check-out. More frequently, there's some afternoon drinks/ entertainment, a long dinner ( I can usually predict what the guy will order, because it's the highest-priced entree on the menu ), drinks, ah ... and then he suggests a movie ... and maybe a few clubs ... and FINALLY we're back at the hotel. Often as not, he's "just beat" from the flight, his exhausting schedule, etc. Then he has to check his text and voice mail, and perhaps return a few of each. And it's already late (not for me, I'm a night-owl). Usually after one romp, he's finished and sound asleep before I brush my teeth and crawl into bed. Note that this has happened with first-timers and with repeat escorts.

Wee-hour wake-up for play ... NEVER .... he's sleeping very soundly, and does so until the alarm goes off. Up to brush his teeth, he MAY return to bed for a little cuddle, but it's then a (lengthly) shower time, followed by endless grooming. We usually have time for a hearty breakfast (he's a growing boy and working hard), then it's off to the airport so he can make his return flight.

Please pardon the cynicism, but when you total hotel, airfare, meals, entertainment, and his gratuity, that's a fair tab for less than an hour of intimate companionship. Please understand I do enjoy the companionship, but it seems that the amount of serious intimacy is decreasing per visit. And yes, I tell the guy what I like, and I do expect some degree of 'customer service' and anticipation of my needs. Sometimes it does seem like an old daddy is being given the minimum of service and attention, and perhaps I'm too soft a touch. The variability is NOT a function of the escort's age, so it's not about some newbie kid vs a seasoned professional.

I'd appreciate a reality check from both escorts and clients. Am I expecting too much? Are these guys delivering only minimal service? Are the reviews too exagerated leading me to expect more than they give. Is 66 y/o too old to expect the (same) level of client service?

Pardon the length of the post, but I need to adjust my expectations or be much more selective in my selection of guys. Thanks in advance for your comments; I appreciate your advice.

[cany10011]

Overnights are great but in reality ....

 

Some of my thoughts on this issue.

 

I guess a fundamental question is what are you looking for in an overnight? Is it 8 hours of non-stop sexual gratification? Or are you looking for intimacy? I've wrestled with this issue for several years. After splitting up with my bf I've looked to escorts for intimacy and have had a number of great overnights with and without escorts. Each time it happens with an escort, I feel like I need to have sex at least 3 times (when they arrive, at bedtime, during semi sleep or in the morning). Whew! It's exhausting (maybe i'm just trying to get my money's worth...) and I end up asking myself why I didn't just hire the guy for an hour or two vs. overnight...Sometimes waking up with someone so hot with the bed head and bad breath totally ruins the fantasy of a brief 1 hour encounter....

 

With um hookups, or noncommercial sex, it's a little more relaxed and less pressure to perform etc.. Of course, you don't necessarily get the same level of "hotness". Naturally, i'd like to have the hot encounter of an escort combined with the level of intimacy gained from knowing someone over a period of time and without the added pressure of having to have sex multiple times just because the encounter is a fleeting one to end with the sound of an alarm clock....

 

Going back to your question, if you've communicated to the escort what you want, he should definitely try his best to meet those "sex"pectations. However, we are all human and have our on and off days. If the escort had to travel a long distance to you, it's likely that he might be tired and just may not be 100% feeling it. If it continues over time with the same escort, it might be a good idea to find a new overnight playmate....

 

 

 

 

 

 

My closest metro area is almost two hours away, and has a disproportionately few number of twinks that are my passion. Hence, I've arranged for a number of guys to fly in for an over-night; and I have been very lucky that most have been exceptionally fine young guys, who've been well reviewed. Results have been mixed - satisfaction has been even more mixed. Perhaps I've read too many glowing reviews that have been somewhat exagerated, or perhaps being an over-weight 66 y/o silver-haired daddy, I'm less than the desireable client.

With much anticipation, I've read of multiple sessions during the afternoon and evening of arrival, some play time in the wee hours of the morning, and again in the morning before check-out. More frequently, there's some afternoon drinks/ entertainment, a long dinner ( I can usually predict what the guy will order, because it's the highest-priced entree on the menu ), drinks, ah ... and then he suggests a movie ... and maybe a few clubs ... and FINALLY we're back at the hotel. Often as not, he's "just beat" from the flight, his exhausting schedule, etc. Then he has to check his text and voice mail, and perhaps return a few of each. And it's already late (not for me, I'm a night-owl). Usually after one romp, he's finished and sound asleep before I brush my teeth and crawl into bed. Note that this has happened with first-timers and with repeat escorts.

Wee-hour wake-up for play ... NEVER .... he's sleeping very soundly, and does so until the alarm goes off. Up to brush his teeth, he MAY return to bed for a little cuddle, but it's then a (lengthly) shower time, followed by endless grooming. We usually have time for a hearty breakfast (he's a growing boy and working hard), then it's off to the airport so he can make his return flight.

Please pardon the cynicism, but when you total hotel, airfare, meals, entertainment, and his gratuity, that's a fair tab for less than an hour of intimate companionship. Please understand I do enjoy the companionship, but it seems that the amount of serious intimacy is decreasing per visit. And yes, I tell the guy what I like, and I do expect some degree of 'customer service' and anticipation of my needs. Sometimes it does seem like an old daddy is being given the minimum of service and attention, and perhaps I'm too soft a touch. The variability is NOT a function of the escort's age, so it's not about some newbie kid vs a seasoned professional.

I'd appreciate a reality check from both escorts and clients. Am I expecting too much? Are these guys delivering only minimal service? Are the reviews too exagerated leading me to expect more than they give. Is 66 y/o too old to expect the (same) level of client service?

Pardon the length of the post, but I need to adjust my expectations or be much more selective in my selection of guys. Thanks in advance for your comments; I appreciate your advice.

[Battle]

My recommendation, especially for a first meeting, would start with a couple of intimate hours before the

drinks-dinner-club circuit. Perhaps if things go well, room service would be appropriate.

[zach_wilson]

hey hun,

As an escort whom has had more than a few overnights in my career(8 months), i have seen that usually when you bring us in for an overnight we automatically expect that the intimacy of our evening with you will usually be one to two hours. this is because as you mentioned you could just bring someone in for 1-2 hours and not an overnight. we enjoy the time we spend with you and getting to know you. personally i go with the flow of things, if things look like they are going to be heading intimate thats fine, but i also expect that it dosesnt happen 4 times in one night. an easier way to insure that your time is spent how you would like to spend it is discuss with the person of your choice before hand that you are looking for more of an intimate time or explain what your expectations are intimacy wise. when you bring someone in for longer periods of time typically it means you like them as more than a 1 or two hour boy that you typically bring in and that is why it is assumed dinner and movies may happen and then intimate times. i don't think your asking to much, i just feel if you prediscuss what your expectations are your overnights will definitely be more enjoyable. hope this advice helps hun. no escort likes to hear of someone having a bad overnight. you should enjoy your time. not just the escort. the best over night happens when both parties enjoy their time

[Diverdan]

Try A Different Approach

 

I might suggest that you take a different approach. Instead of flying the escort to you, why not fly yourself to the metro area that he/they are coming from. Book yourself a nice hotel suite (it doesn't have to be expensive) and spend a couple of hours with a guy. If you have a great time, you can invite him to dinner either that night or the next night. If you stay a couple of nights, you can try a couple of different companions on a 1-4 hour shift. I seldom book someone for an overnight for all the reasons that you have stated. I also am not into twinks, so that may make some difference in your experience. So, why not earn the airmiles for your self, have a good time and change your expectations a bit. If you want more info and suggestions send me a pm. Good luck.

DD

[TerryP]

Loboguy - I am 35 and in good shape, and I have the same issues with overnights as you do. It never works out to be the fantasy that you desired when you were planning it out. It is for that reason that I have started using a similar approach as Diverdan indicated above. A $1000 fee for an overnight can be 4-5 hourly appointments!

 

I have also taken the approach of flying to a city for two nights, getting a hotel and booking a guy for an hour or two the first night. Then, if things go great, invite him back for another session the next morning. If it's still great, mention the idea of spending the entire second evening together. By now he is really appreciating you because you've just booked him for a third session in two days. If he's cool, he'll give you a good deal for the evening, or even offer to let you take him out to dinner without charging for his time. You just got laid three times, for less than the cost of your overnight. The only extra cost is for the two hotel nights - I recommend traveling in the off-season and using Priceline to book - very reasonable for most cities other than the obvious (ie. NYC).

[adriano46]

I will just add another assent here.

 

Years back I used to really enjoy overnights, the idea of being with a guy for hours in bed, snuggling up to him, having great sex at night, a little semi-awake sex in the middle of the night, and hot morning sex. But that was generally in Europe, and the overnight fees were much less than here in the US. IMy fondest overnight was with a Russian and a Greek (hired them together), and the Russian and I were doing something almost all night, and the Greek guy only got 3 hours of sleep, but he returned the next evening for another overnight with the Russian and I -- they were both amazing guys. They were hired for an overnight, and once we met, had a nice dinner and walk, we then returned for showers and a night of sex.

 

BUT that was also before I turned 50 and my build was more muscular and slimmer. (hmmmm wonder if that is part of the equation??)

 

In the last few years 90% of the overnight hires have been BIG disappointments. The experience of "loboguy" is very close to my own. They show up, seem to push me out the door for dinner, theatre/movie/shopping whatever, and then try to overeat (and yes, many go for the higher priced items) and I find myself out about $300-$400 in entertainment/food etc... before we even get to bed (and he is getting HIS fee), and then he helps himself to the room fridge, sometimes even decides to have room service... all in all I lost up to $500-$700 just on all the extras!!!! My generosity gets the better of me (but thanks to the current economy, I have less play money to entertain with!!!!)

 

The advice of others here is where I now head - I hire for an hour or two Ior hire 2 or even 3 guys for an hour a piece), and then I can enjoy a meal I like, do what I want etc... The comment of "Zach Wilson" surprised me... I do not think a single client here hires a guy for an overnight with the expectation of ONLY 2 hours of sex, and if an excort thinks that, then that escort is taking us as suckers (and I do not speak of oral skills). An overnight, which generally runs from $1000 and upwards, should let the escort know we are speaking of at least a few hours of sex, or a few sessions, and anything less - you are cheating the client, pure and simple. To just lay in bed and feign sleep, or to be a dead beat body when the guy wishes to nuzzle or cuddle - well if you don't want to do it, have the courage and honesty to not take the money and do not advertise for overnights. Pure and simple.

[JoeyBryant]

I also am not into twinks, so that may make some difference in your experience.

 

Off-topic here, but me either. In my personal life, I find the twinks to be too undeserving for my tastes. Give me a real man who actually busts his ass in the gym to get where he is, rather than some anorexic twink who thinks guys are supposed to be falling at their feet. The hell? Go eat something...twinkie.

 

Anyhow...back on topic. I certainly think overnights should have their expectations. 2 hours of fun just doesn't sound ample. If its safe to maintain an erection for up to 4 hours, then by all means...knock yourself out. Why go half-way?

 

I also think you should trim your entertainment budget with these guys as well. Dinner can be had at a resturaunt (saves on room service), movies can be watched from the suite, and shopping...I'll do that myself after the overnight. None of that is your responsibility. If they cant have fun just being around you, then somethings up. You're a client, not a sugar daddy. Decide on which one you want to be.

 

Personally, I never go grabbing for stuff at a in-room mini-bar unless invited to. To hear Adriano spend upwards of "500-700" on extras sounds like you are being too lenient. It doesn't need to be that way. Its your turf, you need to be in control of what goes on. Offering alternatives can help....

[rossthebosssf]

Sorry you've had bad experiences with overnights. For myself, I've had many of wonderful overnights including one this last weekend in Honolulu.

 

I think the first issue is that you flew someone in. While it may be appropriate for a whole weekend or vacation, I don't see how you could expect someone to travel possibly up to several hours plus have energy to perform. Sorry, but traveling these days is very stressful and even the shortest flight can be draining. Everyone needs time to recuperate and rest.

 

If you live in an area that doesn't offer quality escorts, you might do better by traveling to the escort's home area and getting a hotel there. That way they'll arrive fresh and ready to go. I also suggest that you negotiate a 10-12 hour engagement. Expect to allow 5-6 hours of solid sleep which is only fair considering that most overnights are deeply discounted from their hourly rate anyway. Or if you're going to be in their area a few days. Give them a two hour audition and if things go great, invite them to stay over or do an overnight the next night.

[jimboivyo]

It sounds, aside from you being a little bitter, that you haven't communicated your expectations for the evening beforehand with your escort. I find that letting my escort know what I prefer helps things go much more smoothly and if the guy still can't seem to get it right, I move on.

[Guest mineallmine]

My two cents worth!

 

I would agree that it is important to let the escort know before hand what it is your expecting. And it IS okay to expect the sexual marathon of a lifetime. That way an escort can prepare for whatever that may involve...ie sleeping on the plane or getting a better then average nights rest before hand. Also letting an escort know up front your expecting to have sex all night long will let the escort know wether they can handle and take the appointment.

 

If you are uncapable of telling the escort what you would like to have happen then maybe suggest activities that you like and be prepared to go with the flow. I have told all the escorts I have been with I love shower sex. I have yet to have shower sex with any of them. I just kind of go with the flow and it didnt happen.

 

On the flip side of this...as it is said shite happens. You should be willing to go with the flow. You can talk about one thing and it not happen. One night after a long arse day with an escort we got back to the hotel...it was to be a wild night of kinky debauchery. That is totally not what happened we ordered dinner and had it delivered and laid in bed and watched soem tv. We were both exhausted as hell and ended up crashing hard. It happens so going with the flow is essential.

 

As for the "extras" be upfront about what your budget is and that you may not have a ton of extra money for whatever. As Joey said there are always cheaper alternatives. Most escorts accept that going for a burger can be as much fun as dinning at the four seasons it is all about the company. As long as you are upfront then the escort knows what to expect and in most cases can make suggestions.

 

Finally I would recommend as many others here do...treat yourself to a mini-vacation and fly somewhere for a weekend or an evening. A short 1 or 2 hour flight and a night or two in a hotel can be a quick rejuvenating get away. Especially with the proper company.

 

Wow...I think that might be worth more then 2 cents...

[Guest greatness]

First, Loboguy I think you are hot~~~ I'm no twink and ugly but you will get a free companionship from me any time. I get disappointed with my overnights a lot too. You are not the only one. So I stopped doing overnights. What about just dinner and some intense session? It will save you money.

[Guest greatness]

oh my Zach Wilson I heard great things about you! Welcome to the forum. I hope your business is doing well. Kisses and hugs~~~

 

hey hun,

As an escort whom has had more than a few overnights in my career(8 months), i have seen that usually when you bring us in for an overnight we automatically expect that the intimacy of our evening with you will usually be one to two hours. this is because as you mentioned you could just bring someone in for 1-2 hours and not an overnight. we enjoy the time we spend with you and getting to know you. personally i go with the flow of things, if things look like they are going to be heading intimate thats fine, but i also expect that it dosesnt happen 4 times in one night. an easier way to insure that your time is spent how you would like to spend it is discuss with the person of your choice before hand that you are looking for more of an intimate time or explain what your expectations are intimacy wise. when you bring someone in for longer periods of time typically it means you like them as more than a 1 or two hour boy that you typically bring in and that is why it is assumed dinner and movies may happen and then intimate times. i don't think your asking to much, i just feel if you prediscuss what your expectations are your overnights will definitely be more enjoyable. hope this advice helps hun. no escort likes to hear of someone having a bad overnight. you should enjoy your time. not just the escort. the best over night happens when both parties enjoy their time

[JoeyBryant]

I have to agree with the flying in thing too. Usually when I fly, I'll book the earliest flight of the day (6-7 am) so that way I have enough time to get to the hotel and recoupe. So by the evening, I'll be ready to meet someone out for dinner. My most recent was a flight out to Charlotte for a same day overnight. Since I'd gotten there around 4, I had plenty of time to get to the hotel, wine down and relax.

 

I also dont think overnights should be X'ed out either. They can be quite fun...

[NYTomcat]

Rod, when are you coming to NYC? Whew!!!!!!!

[NYTomcat]

Now as to an overnight. It is what you make of it both escort and client. I tend not to be the fuckmeister though rod certainly got my attention. For me the overnight is about the time. The foreplay the postplay the lounging around together. Watching movies going out dancing drinking cruising whatever. I dont judge the success of an overnight by the pop.

 

If you do then the suggestions here are noteworthy. To me a successful overnight comes in the mood the setup the flirting. The entire experience that needs the time to unfold with two active participants. I book an overnight because I want the romance. Rough quick sex I can find at the local bar or cruising spots. I want an escort who I get to know and want to spend non-sexual as well as sexual time with.

 

Nothing turns me on like dining and staring across the table as his lips slowly gather around the fork. The way a hand brushes yours. The way he places his hands on your lower back as you walk to the table. The way his leg rubs against yours slowly and warmly in a theater seat. The way he stares at you while your talking his eyes in constant contact. The way he positions himself at the bar or leaning against a pillar or whatever to excentuate the curves of his ass. The way he feels leaning against your chest as you lounge on the couch watching movies and feeding each other popcorn. Its the fantasy ... the dream boyfriend .. perhaps if I had one ay home I wouldn't need to hire but I don't. And if I did we would be to busy paying bills doing laundry and painting the house to really notice. Thats Why these special overnight are so romantic and different. They are fleeting. Making the moments That much more special.

[Guest greatness]

Yes if the client is hot and young what you say might be true but in my case and some others here what you wrote hardly happens. They barely do things to make it through the night. It is embarrassing to admit but that is my reality. It is hard to find escorts who would really like me not for money.

 

Now as to an overnight. It is what you make of it both escort and client. I tend not to be the fuckmeister though rod certainly got my attention. For me the overnight is about the time. The foreplay the postplay the lounging around together. Watching movies going out dancing drinking cruising whatever. I dont judge the success of an overnight by the pop.

 

If you do then the suggestions here are noteworthy. To me a successful overnight comes in the mood the setup the flirting. The entire experience that needs the time to unfold with two active participants. I book an overnight because I want the romance. Rough quick sex I can find at the local bar or cruising spots. I want an escort who I get to know and want to spend non-sexual as well as sexual time with.

 

Nothing turns me on like dining and staring across the table as his lips slowly gather around the fork. The way a hand brushes yours. The way he places his hands on your lower back as you walk to the table. The way his leg rubs against yours slowly and warmly in a theater seat. The way he stares at you while your talking his eyes in constant contact. The way he positions himself at the bar or leaning against a pillar or whatever to excentuate the curves of his ass. The way he feels leaning against your chest as you lounge on the couch watching movies and feeding each other popcorn. Its the fantasy ... the dream boyfriend .. perhaps if I had one ay home I wouldn't need to hire but I don't. And if I did we would be to busy paying bills doing laundry and painting the house to really notice. Thats Why these special overnight are so romantic and different. They are fleeting. Making the moments That much more special.

[NYTomcat]

Yes if the client is hot and young what you say might be true but in my case and some others here what you wrote hardly happens. They barely do things to make it through the night. It is embarrassing to admit but that is my reality. It is hard to find escorts who would really like me not for money.

 

Ok Im younger, maybe than some... but far from hot... The reality is in finding the escort you click with. Im not saying there aren't alot that never work out. Absolutely, and maybe some are better at the romance than others and better with certain clients than others. Or perhaps I just find so much romantic its easier for me to identify little things that turn me on... who knows. But I do say with the world of escorts out there.... there is someone who can provide that experience. Plus I didnt say I was being romanced for any better reason than the money. Escorts may like you, even care for you... but they have a job and that job in the BFE is romancing you. You are the paying client and thats what your paying for.

 

The time is fleeting and the money is the grease that makes those wheels go round. But i agree having some natural shared interests helps so that each party is interested in the endeavor. Someday perhaps I will find the man were money is not involved.... but not today.

[Rod Hagen]

Rod, when are you coming to NYC? Whew!!!!!!!

 

Overnights are for all night fucking, you'll sleep when you're dead :-)

[Guest greatness]

oh my Rod Hagen you almost made my heart to stop.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Ok Im younger, maybe than some... but far from hot... The reality is in finding the escort you click with. Im not saying there aren't alot that never work out. Absolutely, and maybe some are better at the romance than others and better with certain clients than others. Or perhaps I just find so much romantic its easier for me to identify little things that turn me on... who knows. But I do say with the world of escorts out there.... there is someone who can provide that experience. Plus I didnt say I was being romanced for any better reason than the money. Escorts may like you, even care for you... but they have a job and that job in the BFE is romancing you. You are the paying client and thats what your paying for.

 

The time is fleeting and the money is the grease that makes those wheels go round. But i agree having some natural shared interests helps so that each party is interested in the endeavor. Someday perhaps I will find the man were money is not involved.... but not today.

 

Far from hot?? You've got guys following you home from bars in Chicago?? What are you, chopped liver and they're just hungry? I don't buy it for a minute. Ain't gonna happen.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Overnights are for all night fucking, you'll sleep when you're dead :-)

 

I'm afraid I have to side with Tomcat on this one. Rod, when are you going to come east and visit us heathens on ths proper coast?

[NYTomcat]

Overnights are for all night fucking, you'll sleep when you're dead :-)

 

romance me rod and you bet. but warning... from my posts you can tell... i never sleep but dear god.... you might kill me but what a way to go. so when are you leaving the left coast.

[+ nycman]

....so when are you leaving the left coast.

 

Get in line boys...I got first dibs on Rod's NYC visit (if that EVER happens)....years ago.

[Guest mineallmine]

Rod, when are you going to come east and visit us heathens on ths proper coast?

 

Proper coast...we are the proper coast...is there any place else to be except california...well atleast till the big one happens and we drift off into the ocean!