How Far Ahead?

[Businessguy]

How far ahead of an appointment does an escort begin thinking about that specific client and what the session will hold?

We've talked about the various ways escorts prefer to be contacted and we've talked about how far in advance escorts like to book appointments. What I'm curious about is when does an escort actually begin to try to absorb the communications that have gone on between himself and the client and mentally prepare for the session? When does the escort want to hear about the client's fantasies or fetishes? Will an email sent a week in advance be skipped over because it's not important for today and then get lost in the pile of emails never to be fully absorbed later?

It's probably a challenge for an escort to not confuse their client's preferences. How does an escort remember what his client is expecting? Maybe it's more efficient to go over the details shortly before the session begins. It seems some escorts can only think about the next session. What do the escorts prefer? What is optimum?

[Kevin Slater]

That's a great series of questions.

 

It's been my experience that the further out this conversation starts, the less likely it is ever to happen, especially when coupled with detailed emails about fetishes and the like. The more messages exchanged, and the more graphic the communication, the less likely I am ever to see the whites of his eyes. Of course, given my bias, some of this may be self-fulfilling.

 

I get the sense that most of my colleagues like some forward notice. I do not. I have a terrible memory and find I do better when I've talked to him recently enough to not just remember the details of requests, but also the energy he brought to the conversation. I suspect that I am in the minority, but I prefer to start the conversation the day of, or the day prior.

 

Kevin Slater

[Juan Vancouver]

Every night I read and refresh my memory about tomorrow's work, and one hour before the appointment, just to make sure that I am dressed accordingly, ready and remember everything.

 

While emails sent months in advance are not all that helpful, I write little codes for the session as soon as I write it down on my schedule.

 

I know some of my friends are not all that organized, so I would recommend you to send a short note one day before with a brief and concise reminder of what you would like to experience. While some organized escorts may think: "I knew that.", others may be relieved and happy to be reminded.

 

Also, the clearer your message is, the better.

 

A message like: "I like it kinky! And in control!" May not give you the results you need.

 

A message like: " I enjoy roleplay and domination games, with me being the submissive partner. I like verbal abuse making reference to my being a dirty little cocksucker and stuff like that and a little bit of physical pain, mainly focused on spanking my butt with your hand." would tell me exactly what you enjoy and would give me a lot of room for even improvising a little.

 

I wish you fulfilling and fun sessions.

[SteveStacks]

Well said

 

I've really got to meet you sometime Juan.

Once again, couldn't have put it better.

 

I am fine with clients booking as far ahead as they know their schedule (and my schedule is hectic enough that the more notice I get the more likely I am to be able to meet with a client) but that does raise the question of remembering the client's tastes, so a "refresher" email a day or two before is always nice.

 

And I second the sentiment about the importance of clear communication.

[+ David-SF]

emails

 

I like to know in advance what the client enjoys before I agree to the appt.

so in the 1st email its helpful to be clear about your expectations (please note its a good idea to have expectations) If you are one to leave everything up to the escort to develop then its going to be difficult to feel your way around.

Be clear " I like this" and "I like that" I do not like this I do not like that.

emails can always be reviewed by the escort day before for reminder.

 

A side note to Kevin I recently had and escort stay with me a few months ago from NYC he received 42 emails from a client starting a month in advance 2 days before the appt the client canceled for a valid reason YEP ! 42 emails about looking forward to what we are going to do what is possible. all the details and the 42nd email was one sentence sorry I have to cancel for this reason.

Minority probably not, but planning everything out in great detail leaves little to be surprised by.

I say get the basics and have a blast explore new things on the fly.

anticipation is great and a little build up is awesome but dont beat it to the ground before the escort gets to the door.

 

I know I am not a very good writer so I tend to not want to respond to all the 60 question emails ( i keep it short;)) cock full of details I like to let it flow. so advance is good knowing what you want is even better and knowing that you are in for a good time is best.

Have fun relax and let it happen.

[Juan Vancouver]

You are already on my bucket list, Steve.

 

So many men....

 

Since I travel a lot with clients and have other professional things that are booked with little notice, I don't accept appointments with more than one month in advance. I would not be able to commit to anything that much in advance. Sometimes I accept pre-bookings months and months in advance, on the condition that one month before the session they contact me to confirm.

 

As for the seven tomes "I want this" sagas, as soon as it is evident to me that the emails are only for the purpose of self gratification I tell my prospective client that I am just better in the flesh and that hot chat is not my field of expertise. I ask him to refrain from doing that and save all the hot details for the day we meet. Needless to say that genuine clients understand, we have a laugh together and we have a hot session, while the ones that just want hot chat pack their word processors and go chat somewhere else.

 

42 emails! I admire your friend's patience!

 

And David, whereas you may not be ready for a Pulitzer, you very clearly convey what you want to say all the time.

 

Isn't our work great?

 

 

Affectionately,

 

HappyHo

[+ David-SF]

Well I know that businessguy likes to plan and enjoy himself I certainly dont mind getting emails from him I may not be good at writing them but I sure enjoy reading them. (They can be very interesting)

not everyone falls under that category but my stand on planning ahead remain the same in the general sense of the topic. but there are those few exceptions.

 

WOW I really cant write right now because i am on expedia trying to book a flight to Vancouver while at the same time trying to email steve to see if he wants to join me.

BTW I am including a long email full descriptions of all the things I would like to do with Juan while we are there

lets see (insert a very long paragraph here including run on sentences and lots of typos) AND NO CAPS !!! hmmmm VBC Steve stacks Juan Vancouver and very large hotel room omg I better go to the gym now.

before I explode

[Businessguy]

Great Insight

 

Wow! Thanks for the great responses and all of them from the guys who know - the escorts themselves.

I'm guilty of sending too many emails, full of too many details, sent too far in advance. David has been the victim of some of those. Lately, I've tried to trim them back on the quantity and length of the emails so that I wouldn't be lumped into Kevin's group of email-sex-wanna-be's. I often book appointments at least two weeks in advance because I have to integrate them with my business travel schedule. I hate looking for an escort the same day as I want to see them.

In one case, I trimmed back too much where I didn't explain enough to a well-reviewed escort. The session was flat and I felt he didn't try hard enough to discover what I wanted. He could tell I was disappointed. When we compared notes a few days later, he said I should have just asked for what I wanted and he would have happily delivered. Another lesson learned.

Juan's examples of how to clearly explain what I want is a big help. At times, I've been reluctant to be explicit for fear of scaring off the escort. But I guess if he's not into what I want, better to find out before both of our time and money is wasted.

I'll just make sure the escort generally enjoys the kind of experience I'm seeking and then lay low until a day or two before the appointment. Then, during the re-confirming process, I'll discribe as concisely as possible the details of what I like but also give him permission to improvise. Maybe those exchanges will be close enough to the session to capture his interest and get him excited about the date. Hopefully that will strike the right balance. I'm all for effective communications but I also don't want to be a nuisance to an escort who has a very full and busy schedule.

Thanks for the help and keep the suggestions coming.

[SteveStacks]

Juan and David

 

Now that is an interesting idea...Meeting up with David and Juan at the same time.

Could be a little intimidating if you weren't both so damn charming....*LOL*

Maybe we can get Juan to make a stop in SF next time we're both there David? *BIG grin*

[SteveStacks]

Wow! Thanks for the great responses and all of them from the guys who know - the escorts themselves.

I'm guilty of sending too many emails, full of too many details, sent too far in advance. David has been the victim of some of those. Lately, I've tried to trim them back on the quantity and length of the emails so that I wouldn't be lumped into Kevin's group of email-sex-wanna-be's. I often book appointments at least two weeks in advance because I have to integrate them with my business travel schedule. I hate looking for an escort the same day as I want to see them.

In one case, I trimmed back too much where I didn't explain enough to a well-reviewed escort. The session was flat and I felt he didn't try hard enough to discover what I wanted. He could tell I was disappointed. When we compared notes a few days later, he said I should have just asked for what I wanted and he would have happily delivered. Another lesson learned.

Juan's examples of how to clearly explain what I want is a big help. At times, I've been reluctant to be explicit for fear of scaring off the escort. But I guess if he's not into what I want, better to find out before both of our time and money is wasted.

I'll just make sure the escort generally enjoys the kind of experience I'm seeking and then lay low until a day or two before the appointment. Then, during the re-confirming process, I'll discribe as concisely as possible the details of what I like but also give him permission to improvise. Maybe those exchanges will be close enough to the session to capture his interest and get him excited about the date. Hopefully that will strike the right balance. I'm all for effective communications but I also don't want to be a nuisance to an escort who has a very full and busy schedule.

Thanks for the help and keep the suggestions coming.

 

It's very cool that you are putting so much thought into making sure your encounters with working guys work well. That not only speaks well of you as a human being, but indicates that you're probably having, and very likely to continue to have higher quality encounters.

People can be complicated, but putting effort into communicating with each other certainly helps make it easier.

[orbital sander]

What a friendly, intelligent and great thread. Thank you to all thus far!!

[Juan Vancouver]

hmmmm VBC Steve stacks Juan Vancouver and very large hotel room

 

I really like your general train of thought, but...

 

Who needs a hotel room if we can meet at Wreck beach, the infamous nude beach and consort under the sunlight?

 

Just a thought.

[+ David-SF]

njow you have done it

 

When I get back from Paris I am heading your way

All I ever have to hear is nude beach and sunlight and I am there

I will be in touch

[SteveStacks]

Damn. Stupid school.

I'll be sitting in a classroom while you guys cavort on a beach. *sigh*

Maybe next summer....

Have fun!

[instudiocity]

You are already on my bucket list, Steve.

 

WOW I really cant write right now because i am on expedia trying to book a flight to Vancouver while at the same time trying to email steve to see if he wants to join me.

BTW I am including a long email full descriptions of all the things I would like to do with Juan while we are there lets see (insert a very long paragraph here including run on sentences and lots of typos) AND NO CAPS !!! hmmmm VBC Steve stacks Juan Vancouver and very large hotel room omg I better go to the gym now.

before I explode

 

Now that is an interesting idea...Meeting up with David and Juan at the same time. Could be a little intimidating if you weren't both so damn charming....*LOL*

 

I really like your general train of thought, but...

Who needs a hotel room if we can meet at Wreck beach, the infamous nude beach and consort under the sunlight?

 

When I get back from Paris I am heading your way

All I ever have to hear is nude beach and sunlight and I am there.

David, I would like a copy of the PlayBill (emails describing what you're going to do).

And Juan, can I get a first row or dune reserved seat?

Steve, you should just ditch class because this is a life experience worth far more than just sitting in a boring classroom.

 

Oh, and will Pay-Per-View be available after the show cuz,

 

I'D PAY TO WATCH THAT AGAIN AND AGAIN!

[Juan Vancouver]

Steve,

 

I am a believer that everything in life has a bright side and a utility and a gift hidden inside it. (no, I am not stupid enough to say that you not coming is good or a gift.)

 

The flu is a gift from God and possibly from some crazy pharmaceutical company. The flu was created for a higher reason according to His will. (And I am not necessarily referring to David's will.)

 

Claim to be sick, (very sick, to allot for the whole week we will be fucking like rabbits.), hop of a plane and let's have fun!

 

And Instudio, you are as of now, in charge of lubrication and condom opening. Sit all comfy from on the dunes and do nothing? Never!

 

Yours,

 

HappierHo

[Bart]

Well this is certainly a nice mix of gentlemen and this is defiinitely one of those times that term gentlemen applies to all.

Now I have had the pleasure of being with all three gentlemen, individually except Juan who was with Kevin, the thought off all three together has me salivating of course the thought of beautiful Kevin joining is even more intriguing.

Damn I wouldn't mind giving all this a ride. It would be like walking through the Redwood forest and the trees coming to life with all that wood available. It has been a long time since I have seen Steve, my ass still stings a tad from the first major spanking, that was tough driving home from Chicago that day.

Of course all these guys are west coast and that is such a bitch for me, although somehow Okie makes it work in Oklahoma.

 

On the subject of this thread I am one of those who tends to plan out but usually only two months. Yes and I have to admit I did cancel on David once, but rescheduled and made up for it in spades. With new guys I try to get things done in couple of emails and phone call. I dont mind do the refresher course prior, but I dont like doing it after arrival. My overnight stuff tends to be a bit complicated and I think I turn some guys off with it but I always tell guys I am a bit anal retentive about things. I never go into detail about how things should go just list what I like to do and let them be creative. Some guys like that other guys really dont.

 

Anyway I am just going to imagine what all that wood would be like hovering over me, that might actually poop me out what do you think David?

[SteveStacks]

Lol

 

A delightful thread!

 

Hmmmm. Flu aye?

I'll have to give that some thought....

Hope everyone is enjoying their Saturday!

[SteveStacks]

I hope your ass is recovered fully Bart....

Or is it overdue for another tanning? *grin*

[Zapped]

That's a great series of questions.

 

It's been my experience that the further out this conversation starts, the less likely it is ever to happen, especially when coupled with detailed emails about fetishes and the like. The more messages exchanged, and the more graphic the communication, the less likely I am ever to see the whites of his eyes. Of course, given my bias, some of this may be self-fulfilling.

 

There's a parallel in (one of) my profession(s), a college instrumental music teacher. The more campus visits a prospecitve student makes, the more sample lessons he or she asks for, the more likely (in my experience) it is the (s)he will not enroll. In my case, I think it's evidence of uncertainty that the school is a good fit for the student or I'm the teacher who has appeared that the student is ready for.

 

Reflecting on the rest of this conversation, I'll add that it's only recently that I've discovered for myself that the fact I like humiliating talk during sex isn't anything to be ashamed of. And an escort--who read my explicit email (sent shortly before our session)--is the one who helped me realize it. It's one breakthrough I haven't felt like sharing with my psychiatrist. OK, I'm staring to try and hijack the thread, so I'll stop. Thanks, guys.

[+ Ace]

Depending on how far in advance the client books, I usually begin the planning/prep from the initial contact.. (sometimes it involves specific clothing, gear, other times it's a specific "role" to play, or as simple as lining up show tickets or restaurant reservations). As the app gets closer, it's all DOUBLE CHECKED, & put in my appt book & the week of the appt, I'm TOTALLY prepared.

(Last minute/"day of" appts are a whole separate beast!).

[instudiocity]

Steve,

 

I am a believer that everything in life has a bright side and a utility and a gift hidden inside it. (no, I am not stupid enough to say that you not coming is good or a gift.)

 

The flu is a gift from God and possibly from some crazy pharmaceutical company. The flu was created for a higher reason according to His will. (And I am not necessarily referring to David's will.)

 

Claim to be sick, (very sick, to allot for the whole week we will be fucking like rabbits.), hop of a plane and let's have fun!

 

And Instudio, you are as of now, in charge of lubrication and condom opening. Sit all comfy from on the dunes and do nothing? Never!

Yours,

HappierHo

 

I humbly accept your appointment to tear, unroll, spit, drool and lube. You are most gracious!

(I wonder if I can be like a NASCAR Pit Crew changing out the rubber in under 3 seconds?)

[instudiocity]

A delightful thread!

 

Hmmmm. Flu aye?

I'll have to give that some thought....

Hope everyone is enjoying their Saturday!

 

You could blame it on a sore asshole, or a worn out cock but who would believe that?

[SteveStacks]

*lol*

[Okliehomo]

Did bart just say......?

 

That he was anally retentive??? Has the world stopped turning? Hell frozen over?

 

Now, he might be, technically, according to Dr. Freud, but.... me thinks he would be more properly diagnosed as "anally receptive.." and then some.

 

Who was it that drove an exhausted and barely able to make conversation (from exhaustion) power top duo to the train????

 

And besides, while I grant you that threesome seems extraordinary.... (Juan of the dazzling ass, perfect teeth and beer can dick and true nasty, nasty streak, David with his new ripped body, nasty talk, ever hard tool and the butt that my Marco couldn't stop talking about and Steve.... the tallest of them all, that bart told me gives one helluva spanking and gets into it, like he likes it... that it got him rock hard and then he really put it to use).. it would seem to me that bart might feel lost among the redwoods, that tall forest of hard wood that he so aptly described....

 

Maybe, he might be more at home, waiting for the circus to roll into town... like last Thursday...

 

Send in the clowns!!!

 

Okie