Role Play for Beginners -- advice appreciated

[tktk1999]

I've never done role play before but am curious to try it with an escort. Some of the fantasies I have are job interview gone hardcore and office employees/suitsex as well as married strangers with wedding rings meet at a bar. Also plumber, roomservice, etc. That kind of thing. You know the drill.

 

However, not having ever done any of this before, I have some logistical and pragmatic questions that I'm hoping more experienced and sage posters might be able to help with:

 

1) Does role play only work with escorts or people you haven't met before? I.e. if you have an escort that you've hired before, is it too odd or too much of a fantasy kill to pretend that you're strangers or to inhabit certain new roles as you've met before and know each other out of the fantasy? Does role play have to be with new partners?

 

2) What's the best level of detail with which to construct a fantasy -- e.g. quite detailed script or just one-sentence summary like "You're the delivery boy, I'm the married dude in a hotel, I yell at you because the pizza's cold and then I fuck you alot." Not sure on this one. Like the idea of spontaneity but am slightly distrustful of people's generally ability and aptitude for sexual and verbal improvisation.

 

3). Does role play work best at beginning or the end of a session, i.e. can you segue from completion of role play back into non-role play general sexual play or vice versa? Or should role-play occupy the whole session because transitions can be awkward?

 

4) How to suss out which escorts are truly good at role play and whether they enjoy doing it at all?

 

5) Lastly, how do you keep from laughing?! I think role play is really hot in theory and in porn and I am eager to try it, but part of me thinks that I might be tempted to just crack up. I'm very aware of my own penchant for absurdity and other humor, and therefore worry that no matter how hot the scene it might be hard to not take the fatal step back in my head from it and look at the humor or awkwardness of the situation...(and I understand of course that some might say this is an issue with all sex in general). But any advice on how to maintain "character" and operate within the role play fantasy in general would be appreciated. My two previous attempts at phonesex when I was younger were more funny than sexy. And I'm more of the goofy, experimental, funny guy than rough-talking take-yourself-seriously guy....I guess my underlying question is: how to reconcile role play with humor and self-awareness? Can you do such a thing?

 

Sorry this post is so long; I guess I had more questions than I thought.

 

Thank you in advance!

[Muscle Lover 2]

Role play pointers

 

I am not claiming any particular expertise but love role play. I am the exception who enjoys the skimpy part of the porn movie that sets up how the people hooked up. I have a very vivid imagination and often think when I see a hottie how it might happen that he ends up in my bed. Thus, my desire for role play.

 

My experience is that very few escorts are very good at it. Most just list it because it was on the list of things they could check off. Even the ones most open to it seem bothered by too much detail. So, sometimes I paint a very general picture for them of what I want, generally, to occur and our respective roles and let them wing it. Other times, I send a detailed e-mail setting out my fantasy. I have learned to be happy if they get 1/3 of what I detailed for them. Very few take the time to really pay attention to those details. I ask that they enter my hotel room "in character." Chatting as friends first and then trying to get into role play just does not work as well for me.

 

(1) I have done role play on a 2nd or other follow up with an escort. I would think it depends on the guy. It is acting. If they are good at it, it should not matter that you have done other role play before.

 

(2) see above

 

(3) For me, the role play goes right into the more intimate interaction. I prefer that the characters be maintained during the more intimate times too.

 

(4) Reviews, reviews, reviews -- asking on sites such as these.

 

(5) Not an issue for me. These are my fantasies that have not happened in real life. Sometimes, I have men tell me that they have actually had a similar thing happen in their real lifes and that seems to help them handle the role play.

 

What part of the country are you looking to hire (so I might recommend who I think is good at role play)?

 

Best advice, have a very general scenario like the "plumber" idea you mention and let him improvise. After all, if this fantasy happened in the real world, 1/2 of what happened would be driven by your partner, not you, and you would roll with the punches.

 

It is fun. Relax and enjoy.

[bostonman]

I love doing roleplay. I don't have a lot of experience with escorts, but I can offer some of my own thoughts on the subject:

 

First, like Muscle Lover, I love the "backstory" and really setting up the fantasy as much as then playing it out. But I've encountered plenty of guys who just want to get it on and don't really care about the so-called "reality" of the fantasy - so it can be good to know what approach your partner would expect. More on that in a minute...

 

I've done roleplay as part of first-time hookups with guys, and also with guys I've known beforehand. Both can work. I have found that sometimes scenarios that involve characters that are supposed to already know each other (i.e. dad/son, or friends, etc) go better when I've previously known the other guy, so we already have some sense of "history" and intimacy - for other types of fantasies which might involve characters interacting for the first time, it may not matter as much how well you know your sexual partner.

 

Again, depending on the guy, I've done scenes where we start "in character" and other scenes where we evolve into it as we go. Both situations can work - it's up to you and your partner to figure out what seems to make more sense.

 

One thing that I've found helpful is to come up with "character names" different from your real names (or, in this case, different from the escort's working name). Two reasons for this - one is that names can often play a part in the fantasy itself (if a certain name has a sexy connotation to it, and/or if there's a real person attached to the fantasy character - like if you want to play out getting it on with a movie star, or the jock you had a crush on in high school, etc). But the other reason is to provide a "control" for the fantasy - if things start going in the wrong direction, or you have a need for your partner to do something he isn't doing/saying, etc, or anything else that gets in the way of the scenario, you can stop and call each other by real names, step out of the fantasy for a minute, make whatever adjustments you need, and then go back in. Much like a rehearsal for a play, when all of a sudden someone needs to step out of the scene to ask a question, or change the staging, or whatever. ;-)

 

In terms of detail in the fantasy - as i said above, I do relish creating the detail of the story, but not all guys find this appealing or desirable. Some guys will feel overwhelmed by detail, or think that they need to memorize the "script" I'm laying out. So I'm always careful to say that I'm not intending the scene to be "scripted," and I'll often ask a guy to tell me if I'm getting too fussy with detail. However, I have indeed met a few guys as eager to get into detail as I have - finding that discussing the possibilities of the fantasy can be as hot as playing it out. Still, though, what's important to keep in mind is that in playing the fantasy out, it still is going to wind up spontaneous - you're really simply not going to say/do everything you've detailed out...but you know you have detail info "in your back pocket" to use when you need to. (And what can be REALLY fun is those unexpected turns in the actual playing of the scenario that you never even thought of in discussion, lol.)

 

And the thing about humor - I'd relate that to my suggestion of character names and being able to pop in and out of the fantasy if need be. There indeed are situations I've been in where something unexpectedly funny/goofy gets said or done, and sometimes it has taken us out of the fantasy a bit. Some scenarios lend themselves to humor and goofiness (I happen to love "first time" scenarios a lot, and the first timer can often be awkward/embarrased/goofy about what we're doing, which can be fun and funny), and others of course don't (if that pretend tuff alpha-male jockboy is making me laugh with his attempts at a cocky attitude, it might not work so well, lol). But I think if both of you keep in mind that this is supposed to be FUN, and just go with the moment, you'll have a good time no matter what.

 

And by all means - don't be embarrassed to ask for what you really want. If you fantasize about a guy acting in a certain way, or saying a certain thing to you, or doing something sexually in a specific way that you've fantasized about - ask if he'd be willing to do it. I think that most often, we like roleplay because we want to play out situation we wish would really happen - so the best way to get what you really want is to embrace that, and not to be self-conscious about asking for that little crazy detail that would make it seem that much more real to you. ;-)

 

One more thing - I do find that 'costumes' and 'props' can be helpful - but just be careful not to get TOO carried away. After all, chances are that you'll both be naked and in bed fairly soon, lol. But if the "plumber" dresses blue-collar for you, or if it's hot to watch the businessman take off his tie, or if the boy looks extra hot holding the pizza box, etc - see if it's possible to do it. Again, it never hurts to ask.

 

To quote Rocky Horror, "don't dream it, be it," lol.

[+ Shoreboy]

Love Role playing

 

I love role playing for one main reason and that is I get a good roll in the hay and yet while not being in control (I love my role playing whereby I am the one being dominated) I am basically in control since I have laid out the basic script.

 

However, role playing and escorts can really be a crap shoot...my ratio is about 40% of the escorts are great at it and the remaining 60% are dreadful and at times come to my hotel room and have no clue about what we had discussed. Trust me there is no way to recoup a role playing scenario once the escort comes in and says "hi what would you like to do?".

 

I usually set up simple role playing scenarios inasmuch as none of them need academy award winning skills, I have found that the simpler they are the better your chances are that the escort will remember it.

 

I found that by sending them a simple script (TV repairman in the hotel, hotel plumber, massage guy who takes advantage of me. young man illegally selling things in the hotel or the hotel administrator complaing that I am smoking in the room) work the best.

 

If you want the details email me.

 

I found what works best is to communicate, communicate and communicate to the point where the escort says "I got it already"...

 

I don't usually include costumes since one time I was in an upscale NYC hotel and had an escort come as a cop and after we were into the scene the management called me to see if everything was okay in my room...oh well that is another thread...

 

What I found works best is once you have ascertained that an escort is into simple role playing...which I ask in the first contact...is to email him TWO scripts and have him chose which one he likes, thinks is hot and can make hotter...it is always better to have them chose what works for them since both will work for you.

 

Always remember that you are the one hiring and if you want role playing then spell it out and see what reaction your chosen escort gives.

 

Finally, when I have to call the escort and give him my room number I once again remind him of the scene he has chosen, ask him some of the details and then tell him to begin as soon as he knocks on my door.

 

Good luck and anyone with questions feel free to email me or ask me any questions on this thread.

 

Most importantly...like others have said...have FUN

[+ Charlie]

My inner anthropologist says that all sex is roleplay.

[Rick Munroe]

1) Does role play only work with escorts or people you haven't met before?

 

Not at all. We see a few "regulars" who enjoy role play as much as we do. If it's a rough sort of domination fantasy (e.g., involving 2 cops who are arresting & punishing you), then the element of danger is at its highest when meeting for the first time (especially if you're blindfolded at the start!) because of the fear of the unknown. There are guys who want pretty much the same "vanilla" kind of role play each time, and others who want completely different scenarios each time, and it works regardless. What's important is that you all allow yourselves to really live in the moment and be your characters. (Of course, sometimes the characters are yourselves, which makes it even easier to believe we all are who we are.)

 

What's the best level of detail with which to construct a fantasy -- e.g. quite detailed script or just one-sentence summary like "You're the delivery boy, I'm the married dude in a hotel, I yell at you because the pizza's cold and then I fuck you alot."

 

It all really depends. Some guys like to have it really scripted in detail, while others just do your pizza example. A good role player will be able to improvise well with a basic outline, as well as stick to a script he's had time to study and think about. Personally, it all works for us.

 

Does role play work best at beginning or the end of a session, i.e. can you segue from completion of role play back into non-role play general sexual play or vice versa?

 

We think it's best to start out in character, and then either stay in character the whole time or gradually come out of it. It kind of ruins it to start out as yourselves and then say, "Let's start the fantasy!" although some guys do prefer that if they're feeling nervous beforehand & need to break the ice first. It's funny when we enter, totally in character, ready to begin the fantasy, and he asks, "So, which one is Munroe and which is Ross?" and we have to say, "Ummm...OK, I'm Joe the plumber and this is my assistant. Remember?"

 

Lastly, how do you keep from laughing?! ... I'm more of the goofy, experimental, funny guy than rough-talking take-yourself-seriously guy....I guess my underlying question is: how to reconcile role play with humor and self-awareness? Can you do such a thing?

 

We like to have fun, as corny as that sounds. So, even in a rough scene, or the most vanilla "doctor/patient" role play, we're like you and tend not to take ourselves seriously. We let ourselves laugh if something seems funny and I think that makes it seem more realistic because we're being real people finding something funny. We actually had a really "out there" role play recently; we won't go into details, but it was kind of sci-fi related and involved stuff that could never happen in real life. We really had a blast and the funniest part was that, halfway through, when he decided he wanted us to just be ourselves for the remainder of the time, it took us a few minutes because we really were enjoying being "supernatural" and didn't want to stop!

[Muscle Lover 2]

Role play primer

 

tktk1999, you've just received the input of the best I've ever personally experienced, Rick of Rick and Derek. I met with them about 5 years ago in New York. It was the best role play I've ever enjoyed. Derek played his part well also. Rick kept up his role through the entire session, always improvising appropriately to keep the fantasy what I had communicated I wanted. I would highly recommend him/them for your 1st foray into role play/fantasy if they are in your town or you are in the NYC area.

[JT Brooklyn]

Sex is Roleplay!

 

My inner anthropologist says that all sex is roleplay.

 

Indubidably! I'll be the TOP..You be the BOTTOM..Then we Switch!

[Rick Munroe]

tktk1999, you've just received the input of the best I've ever personally experienced, Rick of Rick and Derek.

 

Wow, thanks for that great testimonial!

[tktk1999]

Thanks for all the extremely helpful advice, which I am eager to put into practice! I will report back once I do....