Why did I fall head over heels for this escort?

[Scorpio]

I think I know why I may have developed feelings for this guy, and maybe he was just doing what he thought I wanted him to do, but, I remember that he called me baby, and allowed me to kiss him ,and no other escorts before or after have called me baby or allowed me to kiss them....maybe there is a good reason why most escorts that I have seen don't kiss their clients...something to think about.

 

In truth only you know why you developed feelings for the escort, but in my experience escorts using terms of endearment such "babe" or "baby" is not uncommon. When it has happened to me, I never took for more than what it was: part of the fantasy. As for the kissing, I won't even meet with an escort that doesn't kiss. So kissing is not an uncommon practice either, again it's just part of the fantasy. Some escorts are just better at playing out the fantasy than others and it may sometimes seem more real than it actually is.

[cynicalflannelwearer]

ok....

 

In truth only you know why you developed feelings for the escort, but in my experience escorts using terms of endearment such "babe" or "baby" is not uncommon. When it has happened to me, I never took for more than what it was: part of the fantasy. As for the kissing, I won't even meet with an escort that doesn't kiss. So kissing is not an uncommon practice either, again it's just part of the fantasy. Some escorts are just better at playing out the fantasy than others and it may sometimes seem more real than it actually is.

 

Thank you for your reply, but where does an escort choose to draw the line on what he will or won't say to a client to get repeat business? Is it my fault for buying into his bull crap? As far as the fantasy goes, I thought we were paying for you know what, not a whole elaborate romance novel. Should clients provide escorts with a script of what the escort should say or do, etc? That way we have no one to blame but ourselves if we take it for more than what it is worth?

[NYTomcat]

NYTomcat, certainly they have a range of emotions and they are fulfilling and/or doing their job. They may b "attracted" to d client too, yes possible, but d reality is that attraction wouldn't develop to a romantic relationship since their main priority is to make a living and make the job well done. If an escort met a client and there was an attraction, it doesn't necessarily mean that it'll be for "FREE!" absolotely not! Thus, an escort may b attracted but will never develop any romantic or emotional attachment to d client. Still they wouldn't waste time listening on someone elses problems unless money would b involve. That's d reality. And every client should b aware of that - crystal clear. Nothing wrong in hiring, as long as u set your limits! U enjoy the moment and that's it. - PEACE!

 

OK XXXdude we definately need to just agree to disagree. Yes an escort can be attracted to a client. and yes an escort can develop emotional feelings. Thats not to say any client should ever expect that to happen. In fact you are right that clients must remember its a job and that is the limit. If friendships, romances, whatever develop. Its really the escort who needs to clarify that the relationship has changed. The client needs to assume at all time this is just the professional demeanor and nothing more.

 

And to say that all escorts are such cold unfeeling individuals who would never listen to anyone's problems unless money is involved. Well without going into me personally, you can look on this site and see the escorts who have doled out and listened to hundreds of guys and their problems for what (nothing) thats right for free. Yess they need to earn a living but many are also caring individuals.

 

Thank you for your reply, but where does an escort choose to draw the line on what he will or won't say to a client to get repeat business? Is it my fault for buying into his bull crap? As far as the fantasy goes, I thought we were paying for you know what, not a whole elaborate romance novel. Should clients provide escorts with a script of what the escort should say or do, etc? That way we have no one to blame but ourselves if we take it for more than what it is worth?

 

You certainly can but I like a more organic and free flowing experience. Look if you spend enough time with a good escort you may not feel the difference. the fantasy is just that the fantasy especially with someone you just hired. You should expect leading up to the hire and during the hire if they are calling you baby, honey, my little bitch whatever its part of the hire. You chose to hire them for that fantasy and thats what they are providing. I promise no one off the street is gonna take one look at anyone else... fall madly in love and start calling you "baby... where have you been all my life" that happens only in hollywood (on film) and late night in bars when they are desperate. So my point is with a new escort you can assume anything they say or do is part of the fantasy experience. Just let yourself go and enjoy it... its what your paying for.

 

If you like it enough... hire them again or someone else... or god forbid... go out and find someone for yourself. BUT YES I PAY FOR THE ROMANCE NOVEL. thats what I'm looking for. I want all the lead up to the big climax (pun intended). just dont buy its real... thats all. Know that like any good romancenovel.... your gonna get to the last page its gonna say "the end" You're gonna feel dissappointed its over and then you either read it again, get another novel, or roll over and fuck your husband.

[imrthr]

 

Thank you for your reply, but where does an escort choose to draw the line on what he will or won't say to a client to get repeat business? Is it my fault for buying into his bull crap? As far as the fantasy goes, I thought we were paying for you know what, not a whole elaborate romance novel. Should clients provide escorts with a script of what the escort should say or do, etc? That way we have no one to blame but ourselves if we take it for more than what it is worth?

 

 

Take away the money from the relationship (whatever the relationship is or was) then what do you have?

 

Would the escort still say the same things he would say if there had not been money involved?

 

Would the escort even meet with you and have sex if there had been no money involved?

 

How can you be in love with someone you do not know except for a sexual encounter that involved sex and money by the hour?

 

Get real - it was a business transaction, and nothing more.

 

The problem is with you, not the escort.

 

Sorry to be blunt but a situation like you described is destructive to you and to your physical and mental health.

 

You need to get hold of yourself before you go totally over the edge, so to speak.

 

-

[Guest greatness]

Here are my own answers to your questions based on my experience imrthr.. I'm late for my dinner so I will type past..

 

Would the escort still say the same things he would say if there had not been money involved? I don't think so..

 

Would the escort even meet with you and have sex if there had been no money involved? Nope.. I guess never..

 

How can you be in love with someone you do not know except for a sexual encounter that involved sex and money by the hour?

 

I did fall in love with an escort too but it was one sided. It's painful but I got over it.

 

"Get real - it was a business transaction, and nothing more." I can agree more to this statement

 

The problem is with you, not the escort. (I won't say it is a problem... We are just vulnerable and need love.. true love..)

 

Sorry to be blunt but a situation like you described is destructive to you and to your physical and mental health. Well I think our CFW will learn I did..

 

You need to get hold of yourself before you go totally over the edge, so to speak. Well said.. CFW.. I can sympathize with you.. But get hold of yourself.. It's not the end of the world. We are all lonely but you can reach out to other people who are lonely around us.. Life will go on..

 

Now off to my dinner party~~~ Wish me luck so I don't eat a lot~~~ I have to take nice pictures of my legs for August 7th..

-

[Guest RyanCade]

Wow

 

Very interesting and very captivating story.... Truly I feel for both of you, though, the escort was facing a challenging situation the story seems to imply a cocky attitude. It seems someone emotionally inclined as it seems you are wouldn't go back after the first time, unless, that attitude is what you were attracted to. To me guys are always hotter when they are str8 and or just out of reach topped off with a little bit if self assured attitude. I call it the I gotta big dick walk, lol or at least I want you to think I do walk. It's HOT thats what I was imagining as you told the story. Great that you were able to share that here. The only advice I would have is to explore yourself you may uncover some hidden fantasies. Thanks...

 

Hugs

[cynicalflannelwearer]

Take away the money from the relationship (whatever the relationship is or was) then what do you have?

 

Would the escort still say the same things he would say if there had not been money involved?

 

Would the escort even meet with you and have sex if there had been no money involved?

 

How can you be in love with someone you do not know except for a sexual encounter that involved sex and money by the hour?

 

Get real - it was a business transaction, and nothing more.

 

The problem is with you, not the escort.

 

Sorry to be blunt but a situation like you described is destructive to you and to your physical and mental health.

 

You need to get hold of yourself before you go totally over the edge, so to speak.

 

-

 

Good points, however, why don't I just go to a gay bar and pick up a guy, it will not mean much more, but at least the guy would be attracted to me physically, even though it would be a one night stand, but at least it won't be a meaningless business transaction.

 

Maybe this experience is a wake up call for me.

 

I don't resent or blame the escort, I told him that I was responsible for how I felt.

 

But I am still relatively young, have a good job, am very good looking, and am smart and funny too.....now that I have tooted my own horn, I feel that I am not a bad catch for someone...just not him....matter of fact, I would not want to have a friendship or relationship with him if he were that last hot guy that sells his body on the face of the planet! Yes, I am bitter, but no I do not resent him.

[josephga]

You could always try a site like match .com. You might find someone there to date or have regular contact with. I do agree if you met someone were money isn't involved at-least you will know there's some sort of mutual attraction and that it self can be a big turn on

[cynicalflannelwearer]

Very interesting and very captivating story.... Truly I feel for both of you, though, the escort was facing a challenging situation the story seems to imply a cocky attitude. It seems someone emotionally inclined as it seems you are wouldn't go back after the first time, unless, that attitude is what you were attracted to. To me guys are always hotter when they are str8 and or just out of reach topped off with a little bit if self assured attitude. I call it the I gotta big dick walk, lol or at least I want you to think I do walk. It's HOT thats what I was imagining as you told the story. Great that you were able to share that here. The only advice I would have is to explore yourself you may uncover some hidden fantasies. Thanks...

 

Hugs

 

Yeah, I need to stop with the straight guys, they are nothing but trouble! LOL.

He was a total jerk, in retrospect, I am glad he didn't like me or have feelings for me, it would have never worked out! Damn, I hate it when reality rears its ugly head!

 

Thank you for your advice, Ryan!

[NYTomcat]

Good points, however, why don't I just go to a gay bar and pick up a guy, it will not mean much more, but at least the guy would be attracted to me physically, even though it would be a one night stand, but at least it won't be a meaningless business transaction.

 

Maybe this experience is a wake up call for me.

 

I don't resent or blame the escort, I told him that I was responsible for how I felt.

 

But I am still relatively young, have a good job, am very good looking, and am smart and funny too.....now that I have tooted my own horn, I feel that I am not a bad catch for someone...just not him....matter of fact, I would not want to have a friendship or relationship with him if he were that last hot guy that sells his body on the face of the planet! Yes, I am bitter, but no I do not resent him.

 

Ok young,goodlooking, smart, funny, employed. ..... your Mr right. Sounds to me like your issue as I said at first is you are attracted to str8 guys who treat you like garbage. Sounds to me like those are the real issues you need to address

[imrthr]

Confusion in my post?

 

 

Here are my own answers to your questions based on my experience imrthr.. I'm late for my dinner so I will type past..

 

Would the escort still say the same things he would say if there had not been money involved? I don't think so..

 

Would the escort even meet with you and have sex if there had been no money involved? Nope.. I guess never..

 

How can you be in love with someone you do not know except for a sexual encounter that involved sex and money by the hour?

 

I did fall in love with an escort too but it was one sided. It's painful but I got over it.

 

"Get real - it was a business transaction, and nothing more." I can agree more to this statement

 

The problem is with you, not the escort. (I won't say it is a problem... We are just vulnerable and need love.. true love..)

 

Sorry to be blunt but a situation like you described is destructive to you and to your physical and mental health. Well I think our CFW will learn I did..

 

You need to get hold of yourself before you go totally over the edge, so to speak. Well said.. CFW.. I can sympathize with you.. But get hold of yourself.. It's not the end of the world. We are all lonely but you can reach out to other people who are lonely around us.. Life will go on..

 

Now off to my dinner party~~~ Wish me luck so I don't eat a lot~~~ I have to take nice pictures of my legs for August 7th..

-

 

"Greatness"

 

I don't know why you thought I asked you to answer my post that was meant for the Original Poster. The Original Poster asked us (members of this site) a question. I offered my opinion and suggestions to him.

 

Although your answers to my questions (that were intended for the Original Poster) are interesting, I was addressing him but not you.

 

It is puzzling why you answered for him unless you are a friend of his and he was hesitant to answer my point blank questions.

 

-

[cynicalflannelwearer]

Ok young,goodlooking, smart, funny, employed. ..... your Mr right. Sounds to me like your issue as I said at first is you are attracted to str8 guys who treat you like garbage. Sounds to me like those are the real issues you need to address

 

I know what people are thinking.... if you are such a catch cynical, why are you single and hiring male escorts? That's ok,but thank you for the advice Tomcat.

[cynicalflannelwearer]

I don't know why you thought I asked you to answer my post that was meant for the Original Poster who asked us (members of this site) a question.

 

Although your answers to my questions that were intended for the Original Poster are interesting, I was addressing him but not you.

 

No problem. However, it is a little puzzling that you answered for him unless you are a friend of his and he was hesitant to answer my point blank questions.

 

-

 

Greatness seems like a very nice guy,he was probably just trying to be nice and answer them in a tactful way, using himself as a point of reference.

 

I have never met greatness, and we are not friends ( see, I am aware of what reality is), but he seems to be a sweet guy that gives his heartfelt viewpoint of whatever may be going on in the threads.

[imrthr]

-Up to this point you have been civil to those who communicated with you about your problem.

 

Your response to Tomcat was an unnecessary "low blow" and is not consistent with other things you wrote in this thread.

[cynicalflannelwearer]

Up to this point you have been civil to those who communicated with you about your problem.

 

Your response to Tomcat was an unnecessary "low blow" and is not consistent with other things you wrote in this thread.

 

-

 

Crap, I did not mean to imply that only guys that aren't attractive or a catch hire escorts.....yikes, I am gonna pay for that one.

 

It is just that that is the common assumption about those that hire, right or wrong..

[imrthr]

Crap, I did not mean to imply that only guys that aren't attractive or a catch hire escorts.....yikes, I am gonna pay for that one.

 

It is just that that is the common assumption about those that hire, right or wrong..

 

 

The answer is not easy. Sometimes, yes and sometimes, no.

 

Many hire because they are not attractive and could not have sex otherwise. However, attraction is subjective. What one person finds attractive, another may not.

 

Some hire because they want variety.

 

Then, there are those who hire because they like to be with a particular type of guy who is available for money but not available otherwise.

 

Then, there is the in between issues too complex to address in this thread.

 

Once again, good luck.

-

[NYTomcat]

Crap, I did not mean to imply that only guys that aren't attractive or a catch hire escorts.....yikes, I am gonna pay for that one.

 

It is just that that is the common assumption about those that hire, right or wrong..

 

Im not taking it as a blow and I will treat it as him question the verasity of his opinions of himself. Honestly. Cfw I was not questioning those attributes at all. Men hire for many reasons. I happen to consider myself successful and somewhat attractive and certainly not not old. But I have my reasons hiring works best for me... for now. Rather I just wish you heard the important part. You may have a good sense of what you are. But you do not seem to have any idea yet what turns you on. And why. Thats all I was saying. That it seems what attracts you may also make you feel belittled

[cynicalflannelwearer]

Im not taking it as a blow and I will treat it as him question the verasity of his opinions of himself. Honestly. Cfw I was not questioning those attributes at all. Men hire for many reasons. I happen to consider myself successful and somewhat attractive and certainly not not old. But I have my reasons hiring works best for me... for now. Rather I just wish you heard the important part. You may have a good sense of what you are. But you do not seem to have any idea yet what turns you on. And why. Thats all I was saying. That it seems what attracts you may also make you feel belittled

 

I think that maybe I had feelings for him because he was a REAL man, he said he did MMA, played football in high school, etc, etc. Hmm......now we are getting down to the nitty gritty LOL

[NYTomcat]

I think that maybe I had feelings for him because he was a REAL man, he said he did MMA, played football in high school, etc, etc. Hmm......now we are getting down to the nitty gritty LOL

 

Yes and thats the reality. There are masculine non str8 men for u out there and some who Actually will treat you well or even with a loving dominating hand if thats what u like

[Guest RyanCade]

"Greatness"

 

I don't know why you thought I asked you to answer my post that was meant for the Original Poster. The Original Poster asked us (members of this site) a question. I offered my opinion and suggestions to him.

 

Although your answers to my questions (that were intended for the Original Poster) are interesting, I was addressing him but not you.

 

It is puzzling why you answered for him unless you are a friend of his and he was hesitant to answer my point blank questions.

 

-

 

I was unaware that one needed to be specifically asked to contribute... Greatness offered his perspective. You don't have to like or consider his answers but God do you have to be so ungrateful for his willingness to participate. UGH! GOOD MORNING!!

[best hotel]

....wow....i have felt exactly the same way.....my heart goes out to you...what i figured out is that i wasn't confusing infatuation with love, but i was confusing heartbreak with love....your story sounds similarly heartbreaking....don't assume that because the rejection inherent in the escort/client boundary hurts so much, that it is a measure of how in love you are....i have since found a way to enjoy that swooning, electric, beautifu linfatuation feeling in a long term escort relationship without the obsession and pain...without making the escort uncomfortable....without feeling used.....and without crying...well, i still cry a bit, but it is managable.....glad you shared here and hang in there, brother

[imrthr]

 

snip snip

 

I was unaware that one needed to be specifically asked to contribute... Greatness offered his perspective. You don't have to like or consider his answers but God do you have to be so ungrateful for his willingness to participate. UGH! GOOD MORNING!!

 

 

Of course, no one needs to be specifically asked to participate.

 

However, the Original Poster was quite upset about his feelings over an escort he barely knew. I tried to help the Original Poster by offering suggestions to him. Others from this site offered opinions and suggestions.

 

Much of my post was in a form of questions for the Original Poster to consider.

 

Given that my recommendations (questions) were addressed to the Original Poster, I found it odd that someone else (Greatness) would answer for him.

 

As to your response - -

 

("God do you have to be so ungrateful for his willingness to participate. UGH! GOOD MORNING!!") - - unquestionably brings into question the sincerity of other posts you made in other threads on this site.

 

Particularly, your post about your supposedly being stalked and in financial perils makes me wonder if that was sincere.

 

In subsequent posts, and in your post wherein you alleged being stalked, you appeared to be a friendly and reasonable sort of guy, however, your hostile comment about my being puzzled why someone else would answer questions not directed to them shines a light on another side of your personality.

 

-

[NYTomcat]

....wow....i have felt exactly the same way.....my heart goes out to you...what i figured out is that i wasn't confusing infatuation with love, but i was confusing heartbreak with love....your story sounds similarly heartbreaking....don't assume that because the rejection inherent in the escort/client boundary hurts so much, that it is a measure of how in love you are....i have since found a way to enjoy that swooning, electric, beautifu linfatuation feeling in a long term escort relationship without the obsession and pain...without making the escort uncomfortable....without feeling used.....and without crying...well, i still cry a bit, but it is managable.....glad you shared here and hang in there, brother

 

Its funny best hotel. Your post strikes a lot of common chords with me. My early escort encounters found me terribly crashing after each encounter as I too attached emotional feelings to what was essentially a good time. Those emotions would run the. Gambit from love loneliness heartbreak anger self-deprication guilt. It was like being tossed around on open stormy seas without any clue which way the tide would turn next.

 

The one thing I knew was bringing more escorts into the mix would only worsen the situation. So I focused on the long term repeat scenario mostly. I've found my feelings much clearer and more in control. I can focus on my own desires and interests without getting lost in the "romance" I was perceiving. Its been a whirlwind trip but I definately now can enjoy the hire without feeling Like I am crashing after

 

I still enjoy the intimacy and friendship I feel with the long term hire but dont confuse that with love and heartbreak. Plus I can now enjoy the indiscriminate play with others without seeing any need for long term emotional connection being present.

 

What im trying to say cfw. Is dont assume that the emotional turmoil you feel is a necessary byproduct of hiring. Instead challenge your own thought about how you perceive sex. If for you sex can be an expression of play, a fantasy, or even a shared intimacy with another person that has no long term commitments. Then hiring can Still be a wonderful experience for you. If what you Want is a partner in life to share your bed home and hearth. .....well then hiring is definately not how to find him. Could it happen..... I guess but in my opinion it would be highly unlikely. Ok just my 2 cents

[cynicalflannelwearer]

....wow....i have felt exactly the same way.....my heart goes out to you...what i figured out is that i wasn't confusing infatuation with love, but i was confusing heartbreak with love....your story sounds similarly heartbreaking....don't assume that because the rejection inherent in the escort/client boundary hurts so much, that it is a measure of how in love you are....i have since found a way to enjoy that swooning, electric, beautifu linfatuation feeling in a long term escort relationship without the obsession and pain...without making the escort uncomfortable....without feeling used.....and without crying...well, i still cry a bit, but it is managable.....glad you shared here and hang in there, brother

 

Thank you for you reply!

 

I actually feel much better now, I think it was a combination of all the great advice and the fact that there is no sense in carrying on while this guy goes on with his life like nothing happened, because to him, nothing happened,I am just some crazy guy that thought I had feelings for him, to me, I took everything to heart,not very "cynical" of me, is it?

 

In the back of my mind, I knew exactly what was going on, and I allowed him to take advantage of me so he could make a buck. I just did not want to admit that that was what was really happening, because, for some reason, I liked him...

 

Funny thing, I did not think of myself as cynical until after what took place with this guy, but I am not bitter anymore, I just have to stop" looking for love in all the wrong places", yes I remember that song. LOL

 

I will never allow myself to let my emotions take over my life again, I am a guy dammit, I should start acting like one!!

[NYTomcat]

Thank you for you reply!

 

I actually feel much better now, I think it was a combination of all the great advice and the fact that there is no sense in carrying on while this guy goes on with his life like nothing happened, because to him, nothing happened,I am just some crazy guy that thought I had feelings for him, to me, I took everything to heart,not very "cynical" of me, is it?

 

In the back of my mind, I knew exactly what was going on, and I allowed him to take advantage of me so he could make a buck. I just did not want to admit that that was what was really happening, because, for some reason, I liked him...

 

Funny thing, I did not think of myself as cynical until after what took place with this guy, but I am not bitter anymore, I just have to stop" looking for love in all the wrong places", yes I remember that song. LOL

 

I will never allow myself to let my emotions take over my life again, I am a guy dammit, I should start acting like one!!

Ok I like everything you say here except the one cynical piece. You let him take advantage of you so he could make a Buck.. maybe There is more to the story. But it sound like he did his job that you were paying him for. It doesn't really matter but dont feel you got taken. You hired. You hit the sexual experience. Maybe you wished for more. But he didn't Take advantage if you. Keep your head high and your pride. You hired him and got the great experience you paid for. He didn't use you and you didn't get used.... well not anymore than you wanted to be anyway. Lol