Are escorts and those that pay for their services immoral or criminal ?

[cynicalflannelwearer]

And yes, I include myself as a person that hires from time to time.I know this sounds like a childish statement, but are we bad people?

I would like to think that I am a upstanding citizen. I don't steal, cheat or treat other people poorly. But I am doing something that is frowned on by most of society in the United States.Let's face it,most of us have to sneak around our loved ones backs, lie or omit facts to people that we care about,use euphemisms, and generally be a shady character.

I am not trying to flame here, I am just asking a question I feel needs to be asked and would like your thoughts on this matter.

[josephga]

I'v never hired but it has nothing do with morals or thinking it criminal. If I'm with someone I want some type of equal attraction. For me intimacy is as important as sex if not more. true intimacy can't be bought. If I'm not someone you would sleep with for free then I wouldn't want you there for pay either..

[+ Axiom2001]

N e i t h e r!!!!!!!!!!

[Businessguy]

Good Answer

 

Axiom's answer is all that is needed. It's clear, direct and correct. However, I doubt his will be the only word on the subject.

[+ purplekow]

Two different questions. Criminality is determined by the local penal code and in most jurisdictions in the United States, sex for money is illegal. You are not truly a criminal until you are convicted of something So most of us have done criminal acts but most of us are not criminals.

As for morality, that is a very individual consideration. For me, it would be immoral not to try and live the best lift I could and to be the best person I can be. Hiring escorts has brought me closer to that goal and to my mind, hiring escorts is indeed a moral pursuit.

[jgoo]

A really good topic and one that I have thought about quite a bit. I like PurpleKow's response especially as it relates to criminality. As far as morality goes, it comes down to deciding if there are absolutes or if it is subjective for each individual. I think it is subjective for each individual and for me I don't necessarily see it as immoral assuming no one is being harmed or forced. I do recognize and I certainly understand that there are those who would disagree.

[Romann]

Who me?

 

Immoral and bad people? That's a clear and concise no, IMHO of course.

 

The question alone suggests that everyone operates by the same set of morals when it is quite the opposite. I'm a firm believer in the creation and cultivation of personal/individual morality with the full understanding that actions have consequences BUT also great benefits.

 

We're all consenting adults.

[doitb4ugo]

Immoral and bad people? That's a clear and concise no, IMHO of course.

 

We're all consenting adults.

 

Ageed.

 

The very narrow norms of any society in history is reflected in its values. Living in a society which values individual freedoms yet condemns those who practice those freedoms is one of those narrow avenues that

suggests that societies truly only value its powerful members forcing their values and/or wills on others. The desire to control all around you is the god which our society creates and inflicts on all who do not conform.

 

I choose to hire escorts as a proud statement that I can be a non-conformist yet appear at all times to conform. Discretion is the better part of valor.

[pierrot]

I thought a lot about this before I first hired. But I have found the whole experience very different from what I expected. Most of the guys I've hired seem to enjoy doing this. I suppose most of them would like to be independently wealthy so they didn't have to do it, but I think they've all chosen escorting rather than (or in addition to) some other way of making a living.

It is a mutually beneficial business relationship that in no way, that I've seen, exploits the escort.

I deal with grown men, most of them quite educated, intelligent, and often with big plans for the future. It would be very different certainly if they were underage, or stuck in some hopeless slum in Bangladesh. But the ones I've seen in NYC definitely seem to have chosen this as an opportunity to make money while doing something they enjoy.

It's not at all what people may think.

[JT Brooklyn]

Dead Flame!

 

And yes, I include myself as a person that hires from time to time.I know this sounds like a childish statement, but are we bad people?

I would like to think that I am a upstanding citizen. I don't steal, cheat or treat other people poorly. But I am doing something that is frowned on by most of society in the United States.Let's face it,most of us have to sneak around our loved ones backs, lie or omit facts to people that we care about,use euphemisms, and generally be a shady character.

I am not trying to flame here, I am just asking a question I feel needs to be asked and would like your thoughts on this matter.

 

I'm sure there is a very extensive Library in the Archives dealing with this question. Which is usually asked by a Newbie!

 

As far as a "Flame Topic" it died out a long time ago around here!

[NYTomcat]

Actually I struggled with the same questions for some time and occasionally still do but the answers all have said here is correct. Criminal? sure thats a given in most jurisdictions. of course so is speeding, cheating on your taxes and eating the grapes at the local market while shopping so..... Its criminal and about 100% of the US population fits the "criminal" bill

 

Moral? thats something that no group can answer for you. There are many that would guarantee that not believing in a particular god or eating meat of friday or eating pork was moral. To them these things are immoral acts but the fact is morality may be based on social norms but thats only because you pool all of society. Morality is a personal decision that only you can answer. would I feel moral going to an impoverished country and taking advantage of slavish individuals who need the money I provide to eat NO. I would find that immoral others would say without me they would starve. But thats me

 

Do I think I am harming or taking advantage of the men I hire? I worried about it but the more I get to know them the answer is NO. I make choices they have made corresponding ones that have put us in a transaction. Escorting is a business relationship but i do not believe I have hired anyone who works under duress or undue influence. Rather they have choosen this way to make money. Now I do disagree with posters who say that they are only in it for the money. Do I think they would do the job if not paid Hell No but neither would I do my job. That does not mean I do not value the work I do and enjoy it. As I believe they do. So My moral compass says NO but again thats an opinion and my morality is not someone elses

[Guest Merlin]

While it is against the law in all states (except some counties in NV), it is only a misdemeanor. Few people avoid misdemeanors altogether. If you drive one mile over the speed limit, it is a misdemeanor. Slip over the center line? A misdemeanor. And no, not everyone who commits a misdemeanor is a criminal, even if intentional.

Fewer people today would say that prostitution is immoral than previously. Most men would say that it is not, IMO. Women seem to regard it more seriously, apparantly because it is competition, and makes them feel insecure.

Is it not strange that many of those who say that abortion is "merely a matter of choice for the woman", and "it is her body to do with as she sees fit", would say that prostitution is immoral. The very ultimate in hypocrisy, including a large very part of the women, the judges, and politicians.

 

Prostitution is one of those laws that is on the books largely because no one wants to be seen as an advocate for changing it.

[playwrestler]

Okay -- I guess I'm still a "newbie" -- but that just means I'm still in the struggling stage with this question... and I think there's some pretty clear avoidance going on. I agree with everything that has been written so far. I even think that escorting is one of those "ripple" professions that can affect clients in such significantly positives ways that it will "ripple" out in growing rings throughout their lives. So yes, I think it's a very moral and socially significant profession and its most adept practitioners are to be honored and should know they are providing an indelible service.

 

The immorality only comes on the other side of the equation when the "user" goes behind a "significant others" back. And this is the question that I grapple with. Accidents happen. So many things can be "innocently" passed on to unsuspecting partners. And that would be my definition of immoral. To that end I strive to limit my behavior to areas that are safe at least as to the physical consequences of my actions... massage, visual delight, tactile enjoyment, and (though I don't go there) "happy endings"... as there's very little if any chance of "passing" something on. That said, since coming to this forum I am getting closer to a conversation with my partner that would open this discussion up. I would be fine letting him enjoy whatever boundaries we both accept as safe (or safer) while keeping our relationship intact (ultimately the most valuable thing in my life.)

 

Again, if there is no deception on either side I think this is one of the most valuable professions in society. I mean that sincerely and truly honor those who are its (sometimes undervalued) practitioners.

[Boomer]

It's the oldest profession in the world. Jesus had prostitutes in his entourage (I'm not making a religious statement.) In some countries and Nevada it's perfectly legal. I would have to agree with the answer, "no and no."

[+ Lucky]

I am neither immoral or criminal. The immoral ones are the churches and other religious leaders who try to force compliance with the tenets of their religions by using local laws to enforce sexual restrictions.

The criminals are the police and judges who enforce these religious rules, knowing full well that men and women make all kinds of business deals for sex and always have. The judges, the police, the politicians, and the juries are all fighting their own sexual urges and should know better than to take a straightforward business exchange between a prostitute and his/her customer and criminalize it.

[Gar1eth]

Suffice to say I don't think the majority of either clients or escorts are bad people at heart. But if anyone wants to know my original posting which is probably more on the negative side--you can privately message me.

 

Gman

[instudiocity]

"I'm not evil, Mr. Valiant. I'm just drawn that way." -- Jessica Rabbit

[Guest socal30]

Technically not a criminal-I only pay for the escort's time and what we do is upto us. But in all seriousness, big corporations and accountants thrive on technicalities and so why not me?

 

Now morally no way. Morality varies from place to place and by the times we live in. It was considered ok to burn people believed to be witches at the stake. It was considered ok to enslave people and sell their children like cattle . My thing is , if I am not hurting somebody, then it is ok.