New Rules: Incalls

[tenderloin]

With apologies to Bill Maher, I propose a new rule for escorts advertising on M4RN or Rentboy. If you can't do incalls, say NO in the space provided. I can't host, and I am amazed at the number of times I engage in a lengthy back and forth with an escort who has indicated "yes" or "ask me" in the incall space, only to be told that they don't host when I get to asking for directions or an incall rate. Some have the nerve to get annoyed at ME for asking the question or not being able to host.

 

What is not clear about "incall?" To me, "yes" means you can, and "ask me" means you can some or most of the time. "No" means that you can't or won't.

 

This clarity could apply to other areas (I won't get started on the ones whose definition of "ask me" is "when we get around to setting the incall rate, I'll set a price of $350", or whose definition of versatile means they don't bottom but they use both a mac and PC).

 

Wouldn't we save a lot of time and bother if were upfront about requirements and expectations?

[doitb4ugo]

So True

 

Funny. Same thing seems to happen to me when looking for an incall. I have had several on m4rn who post as Ask Me but then e-mail me that I need to get a hotel room for the incall....I thing Ask Me is the new N/A.

[whipped guy]

Bad marketing tool

 

Many guys on Rentboy etc. simply check all the boxes... in-call, out-call, long-distance call, collect-call... Well, you get my drift. And yes! They also check the S&M, BDSM, etc. boxes as well when they really have no experience whatsoever. For some reason many guys think that being able to "do it all" is more desirable.

 

It is a perverse marketing tool to simply try and generate more potential business... but in the long run it is really counterproductive. Still, some guys have no clue about good business sense (and what fosters goodwill for repeat business) so it is unfortunately par for the course...

[uwsman2]

re negotiating vs. not negotiating

 

I prefer not to negotiate prices over the phone with an escort, so I would never contact somebody who says "ask me" on their ad on rentboy or other sites. The one time I got into this turned out badly. Several years ago I contacted a guy late on a Sunday morning with fantastic pics on rentboy in NYC who had "ask me" under in-calls. The phone conversation was going well when I asked about his fee, and he quoted $350, which is out of my league for an hour session. I told him that was rather more than I was prepared to pay, so we should forget about it. He came back with an offer to reduce substantially, and I agreed. I lived to regret it. I went to see him, and all of a sudden a guy who was into "everything" in the ad became very limited - and seemed to have a chip on his shoulder because he was working for less than his "usual rate." So that's the end of it for me as far as every contacting somebody who says "ask me" on their ad.

[whipped guy]

Ask me...

 

uwsman2 is right on... I was given a bit of business advice eons ago regarding pricing. Set fees at a rate with which you fee comfortable for the services that you are providing, and always be upfront by having a fee/pricing schedule available for all to see so there will be no question as to what your rates are. That way there will be no question as to what services are expected at the given price point. This "ask me" baloney smacks of the guy simply wanting to give you less bang for your buck...

 

Bottom line: If you say, "ask me"... I won't ask... and you won't have to tell.

[Bart]

Well agree on the "ask me" for call location and to a point on the fee too.

The thing is the murkier the circumstances of the ad the longer the communication goes. So many gentlemen want to make the deal but this ends up being a time waster for them as much as it is you.

95% of the time I begin with an email and it is clear that it is his location or hotel.

Now as to fee I always am clear on activity and time and so I hope than can come back with a quote. Some ask what am I will to pay and I try to defer that subject back to them. I want the Gentleman to tell me his fee. I will then say yes or no and they will counter and I will pass as I do not negotiate. However, I once again went against my own rules twice this year about not negotiating and I got burned. I definitely felt the second time the guy was giving me what I paid which was substandard service. The first guy was just too new and should have been charging a rookie wage not one for an experienced person.

 

No more negotiating rates. Just yes or no on my part.

[uwsman2]

Will they read this?

 

I wonder how many escorts are aware of this message forum and might get this message? It would be nice to see a decrease in the proportion of "ask me" ads on rentboy. Then I might be tempted to experiment with more of these hot-looking young men.

 

One of the problems with the "ask me" ads is that you can't rely on the price reported on a review on this site, since that is just a report on what that customer paid, not the escort's advertised rate....

[doitb4ugo]

Ben

 

 

One of the problem with the "ask me" ads is that you can't rely on the price reported on a review on this site, since that is just a report on what that customer paid, not the escort's advertised rate....

 

Exactly the case for todays cover guy....Ben...He has ASK ME for all categories.....not helpful. He is hot but not helpful.

[JoeyBryant]

Lets not group 'ask me' into a category of always having to bargain...

 

For example, I had my price listed on my ad for the longest...however if you would know, on men4rent you can list yourself in up to 4 cities. It wouldn't help to list a NYC rate in Denver, CO (just an example) because its different markets.

 

Personally, I have 'ask me' in the outcall section simply because it may be different depending on location. If I have to drive for an hour someplace and a hour back...then its not going to be the same as going downtown. Its much better than to have a rate listed and then say, "oh, its going to be X extra to go to that location"

 

In the same note, I try to list my rate as much as possible as I cannot stand when people call and send emails simply asking what my rate is. For all I know, they could just be nosy trying to figure out how much I charge

 

In addition, I havent had anyone give me lip over the 'ask me' part. I really dont see it as a threat.

[kevininsa]

In addition, I havent had anyone give me lip over the 'ask me' part. I really dont see it as a threat.

 

You don't see it as a threat. But what about the lost business? While I do see your point, I also have had issues with the "ask me". To the point that I usually won't contact someone who has it anymore. I actually passed on your ad the last time I was perusing the M4RN site.

 

KevinInSA

[guyfouryou]

I completely ignore the "ask me" guys no matter how hot. Too many others points to get clarity on to add the basics, location and rate, to the mix.

[BearDad58]

I completely agree with the other posters who just pass on escorts who say "ask me". In my experience I have found most of the time its a ploy for the escort to feel out the client first and then reveal the rate. In other words if I called a client from the Ritz Carlton I am sure I would be quoted a rate higher than if I said I was staying at a Motel 6 or Days inn. If I was a local and calling from wealthy section of town I would probably be quoted a higher rate than one who wasn't calling from a wealthy area.

 

True as another escort pointed out there is the issue of travel costs, but thats easily handled by putting up a disclaimer saying something to the effect a travel fee would apply for calls outside of the center city area.