Is it just me?.........I just canceled, was that the right decision?

[Guest RyanCade]

So this is soomething I have come across several times and it just doesn't sit well and I can't seem to see it in a different light no matter how much I think about it.. I just booked an appointment with a guy who asked me "Do you suck cock and get fucked?" The answer to that is yes but after I hung up once again the language he chose to use made me uncomfortable and I just canceled the appointment. Does that not seem disrespectful at best to address someone you don't know like that? would you guys book an appointment with this guy. I seek the opinions of escorts and Clients. Am I being too touchy?

[EXPAT]

Trust your gut feeling

 

As a client, I believe you have to trust your gut in all situations. If you are uncomfortable, you shouldn't keep the appointment. I feel those questions while direct are a bit disrespectful but that's just me. I would find out in a very different way. You have to create a good relationship up front otherwise it won't work.

 

So don't feel bad for what you did. Always trust your gut.

[+ Lucky]

I think I would have contacted the client to get a better feel for him. Some people are nervous when making an appointment. perhaps this client felt that he was being sexy talking like that. Granted, it wasn't a very artful approach!

[jawjateck]

Ryan....You, as an escort, did what I, as a client, have done many times before. If something doesn't click or sit right with my conscience, I cancel or choose to pursue the escort no further. I'm sure I have missed some good times with good guys because of that policy, but I have to be comfortable with the situation going into it to have a good time. The fact that you care ("touchy" as you worded it) speaks highly of you.

 

By the way, I'm in Atlanta right now while you are in Big D. Sorry I missed you this time, and look forward to seeing you next time I'm in town.

[Boston Guy]

Many people do not know how to talk about sex in any other way. Also, there are clients who find the very act of contacting and booking an appointment with a client to be an exciting act.

 

As EXPAT said above, I advise clients and escorts to always follow their gut. If something doesn't feel right, go elsewhere. No appointment is worth risking your safety.

 

But, in this case, I think it wasn't your gut that was warning you so much as your sensibilities. It seems that you prefer that clients take a more genteel approach. There is nothing wrong with that, of course, but it may limit your ability to interact with some clients and it may negatively affect your income. Perhaps you might consider experimenting a bit, not with lower standards but perhaps with somewhat different standards. You may find that what used to offend you no longer does or perhaps you will find that you were right at the beginning and want to interact only with clients who are more genteel.

 

In the end, there is no correct answer except that you should be guided by the type of people you are willing to spend time with and the experiences that you wish to have, knowing all the while that those choices may limit your ability to escort or may enhance that ability.

 

BG

[cmennow]

I think there are other ways you can express yourself during the initial phone conversations and leave all the nasty talk for when you are in the act.

[Boston Guy]

I think there are other ways you can express yourself during the initial phone conversations and leave all the nasty talk for when you are in the act.

 

You are, of course, correct. Lamentably, not everyone is aware of this or possesses the requisite skills.

[+ purplekow]

Although i would only whisper such endearments into your ear while we were in the act, we here at the MC encourage clients and escorts to be very clear with what we want. He was a clear as one could hope.

Now if he had said something in response like: Good, then I am going to fuck you hard and long and make your eyes roll so far back into your head that you'll be able to see my cock pumping inside you. Then I would say he had taken it to a different level and you either like that kind of talk or you don't.

So, rather than cancelling the appointment, I would have encouraged you to talk to him a bit more, express your concerns and see if he is insightful or a pig. Then make your decision accordingly.

[Guest greatness]

well

 

Master Cade, trust your feelings. May the force be with you.

 

To be serious, if something doesn't sit well with you then it's better not to pursue it. However, you have to consider the benefit and cost of every decision you make. I hope you have a good weekend.

 

So this is soomething I have come across several times and it just doesn't sit well and I can't seem to see it in a different light no matter how much I think about it.. I just booked an appointment with a guy who asked me "Do you suck cock and get fucked?" The answer to that is yes but after I hung up once again the language he chose to use made me uncomfortable and I just canceled the appointment. Does that not seem disrespectful at best to address someone you don't know like that? would you guys book an appointment with this guy. I seek the opinions of escorts and Clients. Am I being too touchy?

[josephga]

The bad thing about Atlanta is they req a permit to escort. If a escort doesn't have that permit they can be charged for escorting regardless if sex for money was discussed or not. Atlanta is the only city I know of that requires a permit to sell time for money. Atlanta also charges a yearly strippers permit for stripping in the clubs. I know a few guys last year that wern't charged for prostitution but were charged for escorting without a permit.. All but one were outcalls

[Guest TBinCHI]

I think you did the right thing. Questions like that suggest a sting, and you rightly avoided that possibility.

[NYTomcat]

OK here comes the lawyer. TB is totally correct. What did not sound right sounds more like a direct sting operation question. However with my family hailing from southern climes it also lacks a certain grace and yes gentility that I think you can or may want to expect at an initial meeting. There are ways to ease into the I want to treat you like my sex pig conversation as PK has so colorfully described.

But most of all you made the call to pass on the business to fit your comfort level. Without that an uncomfortable encounter would just have led to a bad review or worse. So good choice Mr. Cade

[Guest RyanCade]

Many people do not know how to talk about sex in any other way. Also, there are clients who find the very act of contacting and booking an appointment with a client to be an exciting act.

 

As EXPAT said above, I advise clients and escorts to always follow their gut. If something doesn't feel right, go elsewhere. No appointment is worth risking your safety.

 

But, in this case, I think it wasn't your gut that was warning you so much as your sensibilities. It seems that you prefer that clients take a more genteel approach. There is nothing wrong with that, of course, but it may limit your ability to interact with some clients and it may negatively affect your income. Perhaps you might consider experimenting a bit, not with lower standards but perhaps with somewhat different standards. You may find that what used to offend you no longer does or perhaps you will find that you were right at the beginning and want to interact only with clients who are more genteel.

 

In the end, there is no correct answer except that you should be guided by the type of people you are willing to spend time with and the experiences that you wish to have, knowing all the while that those choices may limit your ability to escort or may enhance that ability.

 

BG

 

I don't have an issue with the question at all... I quess it was timing and choice of words... You have all probably figured out that, though I can play the roll of an innocent little angel I am not...I like dirty talk and am not offended by that at all, IF I am somewhat familiar with the individual. He asked the blunt question after just a few seconds on the phone which in this case is what through me off... Usually these inquiries come in the form of text messages, and I don't respond... I don't feel a sense of loss at all in these cases, as I have no desire to have a client without enough respect to say Hello, I am ____, I saw your ad on ________, before inquiring about my sexual limitations with this forward approach. I mean no money involved would this be an appropriate way to address someone at A bar, or anywhere? Does the money give a false sense of entitlemen? Or is it that the escort is viewed less worthy of respect because they are "selling themselvee" ? These are general questions btw not directed at any particuklar person...

[Guest RyanCade]

I think you did the right thing. Questions like that suggest a sting, and you rightly avoided that possibility.

 

That was part of my concern, and the question that immediately followed was "what do you charge". I do feel good about my decision. I must say that my one bad review has made me consider very carefully the situation I may be putting myself in and the "cost" associated if it goes south...

[Romann]

All I can offer up is as beings with instincts, we were given these special attributes that for the most part serve each of us very well. When something doesn't sound or feel right and it rattles you slightly or to the very core of ones being to listen carefully to it and make the best decision for you as a person. At the end of the day, we have to live with our decision and I for one would rather make it through the day and begin another day. If your gut feeling said that something was wrong then go with it, be confident in your decision and all will be fine.

 

That said, some clients do enjoy that kind of "dirty" talk as it's part of the overall experience for them so keep that in mind as well. Again, you made the best decision for you and that is all that matters because your safety is of the utmost importance. We live in a dangerous world and our instincts are there to serve a purpose and it sounds like they did just that for you in this experience.

[Guest TBinCHI]

Romann is right.

 

But the upside is when we have those instincts and everything is right and we have a great experience. So the bottom line is that our own psyche protects us and rewards us similarly. Always trust your heart and you will be fine.

[BewareofNick]

The question in and of itself is innocuous enough, but I suppose I'd have to hear it in the context of the entire conversation. Maybe it was the tone? Or maybe, as several have suggested, you just picked up on a vibe that wasn't right. In any case, it's your body and if you choose to decline a client, that's your prerogative. You might have missed some income, then again, you might have saved yourself some trouble as well. i wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

[NYTomcat]

Ryan I think your bigger question is the one you posed later. Should we as clients be at least a little respectful at the outset. I agree with the old golden rule that you treat people the way you want to be treated. I know that when we are discussing the services you provide and the special arrangements some people enjoy a good deal of degredation can sometimes be called for. While that may be appropriate in the session setting. I dont think it needs to be involved in the arranging. A client and an escort should be able to treat each others as professionals long enough to make clear what they want. If that level of respect cannot be gotten for that short first encounter I worry for the treatment of either client or escort during their time together.

 

What makes the fantasy work is knowing there is a level of respect that doesn't allow it to go "too far." Remember Im the newbie and I am sure many would disgree with me. so go ahead. but for me I want an escort who treat his clients with respect, until I dont want him to anymore I would espect the same for escorts. Treated with respect until I made my interests clear and they agreed that was acceptable. Then have it boys. PK is always the best at writing the rest.

[trooperbill2000]

Ryan,

 

You definetly did the right thing. Do not look back on this. Your first obligation is to yourself.

 

A secondary obligation is to the rest of us. The best thing you can do for us is to take care of yourself. It is in our interest for you to continue as you both inspire us with philosophic wisdom and lead by example.

[gcursor]

in my opinion

 

I feel that clients should be able to word things a little more politely and keep in mind that they're using email. There should be a kinder, softer way to say what the client wants in those situations then saying "pick 3 sexual position from menu A", "Pick 2 types of sexual acts from menu B" and press SEND. Just my opinion is all...

 

gcursor

 

So this is soomething I have come across several times and it just doesn't sit well and I can't seem to see it in a different light no matter how much I think about it.. I just booked an appointment with a guy who asked me "Do you suck cock and get fucked?" The answer to that is yes but after I hung up once again the language he chose to use made me uncomfortable and I just canceled the appointment. Does that not seem disrespectful at best to address someone you don't know like that? would you guys book an appointment with this guy. I seek the opinions of escorts and Clients. Am I being too touchy?

[Romann]

Can I get a side dish with that please!?

 

"pick 3 sexual position from menu A", "Pick 2 types of sexual acts from menu B" and press SEND.

 

À la carte!

[firsttimer]

I also agree with what everyone has said before about trusting your guy instinct. As one BG once told me, don't let your penis think for you or you'll get into trouble. A lot of times I have not listened to my gut in the beginning and ended up with trouble as expected.

 

Every client will have a different way of approaching this whole thing, but I do think that those words sting a little as if I were being looked down upon instead of with a little respect. If an escort asked me questions with that wording I'd cancel too so I think it goes both ways.

[whipped guy]

As someone who can easily scare off an escort, I always take a genteel approach… and a courteous approach tempered with an aura of respect. There is always the “comfort level” and it is a two way street. Now in the world of S&M many guys think they need to start the humiliation factor during their initial email response. That turns me off. I want to know that I am dealing with an intelligent and decent person… Plus, in spite of the types of activities I get into I don’t place humiliation and degradation high on the list of initial priorities… and many times that is not the approach that I actually would request. Hence some escorts get off on the wrong foot from the get go... somewhat of the reverse of Ryan's situation.

 

Regarding the acceptance of new clients, experience dictates quite a bit… and with experience it soon almost becomes second nature to have the ability to weed out the bad prospects. Nothing is ever absolute, but better safe than risking an unsavory connection. It takes two to tango... and two to tango comfortably.

 

If Ryan’s gut told him to nix the appointment, then he did the correct thing… as long as he did it in a respectful and civil manner that is… After all, there is no need to fight fire with fire and risk an altercation when a gentile sprinkling of water will do the trick!

[Guest TBinCHI]

After all, there is no need to fight fire with fire and risk an altercation when a gentile sprinkling of water will do the trick!

 

Hmm, I think you may have meant "genteel" unless, of course, you are also into water sports, as a gentile sprinkling water is a whole different ball of wax!

[MsGuy]

"Gentle" also works.