How did we get here? and must we stay?

[whipped guy]

Yes, but it serves a purpose.... Personally, I favor the inclusion of all voices and perspectives and prefer reading about positive experiences rather than negative ones. However, because the negative is a big part of the world, I think it, too, needs to be addressed.

 

Yes there is a lot of negativity out there... and only when we address the negative aspects of life (and discuss and interact with each other about it) can we possibly learn how to deal with and cope with what is unfortunately a significant part of our existence. Learning how to cope with negativity is not only a fact of life, but only by dealing with such situations one can be assured of bringing as much positivity, optimism, confidence, clarity, and hopefulness into our lives as possible. It would be great if one did not have to deal with such situations or actually the individuals that cause such situations to exist… However, failure to learn how to manage such circumstances will only lead to disillusionment and despondency… and even anger... things we all need to avoid in life.

 

Now it has already been established that some clients simply fail to reciprocally respect the provider… or are just plain nasty individuals to put it quite bluntly.

 

Yes, one must on occasion deal with such people… and it would be better to not have to deal with them at all. Seeker wrote in an earlier posting how he gradually divested himself of such individuals… but that is not an option for all of those in a service-oriented industry. We must learn how to deal with the negativity out there.

With experience one quickly gets to see the red flags that identify such individuals… and one learns how to preemptively and respectfully deal with them… Many times such persons are indeed hopeless. Yet by praising them and trying to see where they are coming from it is possible to get them to “move on” of there own accord… and incredibly make them think it was their own idea and make them happy about the situation. It does not always work, but it often does… and the key is to be respectful.

 

Always try and analyze where the other person is coming from… what his viewpoint is and how he has arrived at such a mindset. It sometimes takes a bit of examination to decipher various personalities… and while nothing is cut and dry… there are often patterns. Before totally condemning a person I always look at him with the belief that basically there is some inherent good in everyone… well at least somewhere in the depths of even the most vile personality… usually that is… Furthermore, we can almost always learn something or other from another individual and even those who come across poorly. At times such proves not to be the case… and then the relationship has to be terminated.

 

Still, even those who come across badly initially can often be won over, and sometimes can prove to be great clients in the long run. Consequently, I think that it is worth a bit of effort to at least attempt to deal with such individuals. Actually from a legal point of view many in service-oriented professions are forced to deal with such individuals… lest we be accused of discrimination or abandonment. It is only after very carefully assessing the situation that an attempt to terminate the provider-client relationship can be made… and then so in a manner which provides adequately for the client. Fortunately the “oldest profession” has no such legal constraints.

 

Dealing with the public is certainly a challenge… in fact it often tests one’s patience and tolerance to the max… but in the long run working with the public can be extremely rewarding. Consequently, one needs to develop the skills the armamentarium to survive the ride… It often “ain’t easy”, but then nothing and I mean absolutely nothing is… ever was… and certainly will never be…

[+ Charlie]

The Hooboy site was set up to serve the needs of clients, so that they could pass information, anonymously, to one another about escorts. Reviewers and MB posters are known only by self-chosen handles, and some participants in the MB use a different handle from the one they use when writing reviews. Escorts who choose to participate in the MB, however, are known by their working escort names, and are therefore vulnerable to blowback from angry clients who might recognize themselves in a negative story by an escort about a client. (Occasionally an escort takes a different handle in order to vent here, but if he is unmasked, there's hell to pay for him.) I notice that no escort has yet been willing to take part in the new thread started here about the worst client experience, and I don't blame them. I don't think that the system here can work to give equal informational power to both clients and escorts. Escorts really need a site of their own in which they can exchange information about problem clients.

[whipped guy]

Escorts who choose to participate in the MB, however, are known by their working escort names, and are therefore vulnerable to blowback from angry clients who might recognize themselves

Understandable... but by speaking in generalities perhaps clients could learn to be better clients... Up until now it has been the "non-escort service providers" who have taken up the slack... and however imperfectly. After all it is a two way street. Plus the purpose of this very "Ask an Escort" sub-forum is:

 

"An area to learn what makes a good encounter with an escort. No arguments allowed."

 

... and hopefully we can all learn and discuss in a non-argumentative manner.

 

I notice that no escort has yet been willing to take part in the new thread started here about the worst client experience, and I don't blame them.

However, hopefully they did read that thread... and learned from it.

 

I don't think that the system here can work to give equal informational power to both clients and escorts. Escorts really need a site of their own in which they can exchange information about problem clients.

Kind of like the "Difficult Patient" network from an old Seinfeld episode... I guess it would help them vent... if they felt the need to do so... and it would be a kind of support group... and I am sure that as in any profession there are already "underground" versions in various degrees of such a potential site.

[Guest RyanCade]

I'm afraid I don't follow the 'manipulation and control' part of your argument tho.

 

The manipulation and control of which I speak, can be found throughout the forum and are presented sometimes as an attempt to be "helpfull" and other times it's simply client to client chatter which of course the escorts will read and get the order without having been directly addressed and no formal rules are in place.. For an example. "If I don't get a thank you note or email within a few hours, I won't hire that escort again..another said "not too soon though something lioke it's not very attractive when you've still got a dick in your mouth." oR another examplle would Joey Briants thread when an escort says something that has to do with his issue several posters may rush to give him a "friendly" warning that he probably shouldn't proceed. One of my experiences was when lucky brought up his misunderstanding of one of my posts which painted an not nice picture of how I viewed clients, and I stated that I had already explaioned my postion and clarified my true intent, he said... "Ryan You probably would have been better off leaving this on alone" This type of communication is controlling and If I were weak minded I may have cowered and not stood up for myself and my reputation. I hope that helps... No hard feeling Lucky just an example........

[seeker630]

Influence vs control

 

The manipulation and control of which I speak, can be found throughout the forum and are presented sometimes as an attempt to be "helpfull" and other times it's simply client to client chatter which of course the escorts will read and get the order without having been directly addressed and no formal rules are in place.. For an example. "If I don't get a thank you note or email within a few hours, I won't hire that escort again..another said "not too soon though something lioke it's not very attractive when you've still got a dick in your mouth." oR another examplle would Joey Briants thread when an escort says something that has to do with his issue several posters may rush to give him a "friendly" warning that he probably shouldn't proceed. One of my experiences was when lucky brought up his misunderstanding of one of my posts which painted an not nice picture of how I viewed clients, and I stated that I had already explaioned my postion and clarified my true intent, he said... "Ryan You probably would have been better off leaving this on alone" This type of communication is controlling and If I were weak minded I may have cowered and not stood up for myself and my reputation. I hope that helps... No hard feeling Lucky just an example........

Perhaps I have a different definition of 'control' than you do, but I don't see it quite that way.

Certainly there's no coercion - and let's remember that members of the MC make up only a fraction of the potential client pool. I don't think that offending anyone here is likely to seriously damage an escort's career unless he only serves MC members (who are NOT all of one mind on ANY topic.) If you choose not to risk offending some MC members...I see that as *your choice, not one imposed on you.

I do agree with you that there's something of a double-standard, but I don't see serious impediments to challenging that (as you are doing!)

[Guest RyanCade]

Perhaps I have a different definition of 'control' than you do, but I don't see it quite that way.

Certainly there's no coercion - and let's remember that members of the MC make up only a fraction of the potential client pool. I don't think that offending anyone here is likely to seriously damage an escort's career unless he only serves MC members (who are NOT all of one mind on ANY topic.) If you choose not to risk offending some MC members...I see that as *your choice, not one imposed on you.

I do agree with you that there's something of a double-standard, but I don't see serious impediments to challenging that (as you are doing!)

 

I do like the word influence and it would have fit here nicely, In my opinion, when you place the word in front of ;Influenced by; fear, financial dependence, the need to maintain a well regarded reputation as part of your chosen career, it may still be a choice, but not without serious repercussions, if the interactions following, does not go well, then it becomes one made of necessity. Is it still a choice ?

 

I personally experienced the financial impact the MC and Daddys Reviews can have on an escorts business, it is great..

 

Excellent responses so far... wow....

 

Respectfully,

[+ newatthis]

The manipulation and control of which I speak...are presented sometimes as an attempt to be "helpfull" and other times it's simply client to client chatter which of course the escorts will read and get the order without having been directly addressed...

Because client opinion on these kinds of issues is usually all over the place, I'm not sure how you can view it (in total) as an attempt at "control" or "influence". Take thank-yous as an example. Some require them, some prefer them, some dislike them. Don't see how you could base your own business decisions on what you read here about them. (Unless, of course, there are particular posters here who are your clients, or whom you would like to have as your clients, in which case you probably should pay attention to their preferences in the same way you'd pay attention to their sexual preferences.)

[Bart]

Influenced maybe, personal business decision more likely

 

Ryan you are certainly a thought provoking young man with a delivery style that is straight forward and sincere. I appreciate that. Of course some gentleman may say that comment is influencing or demanding upon their style.

 

I think you may see a point in that. You and you alone have the choice to handle your business as you see fit and ultimately you will succeed or fail based upon those choices. By participating here you have thought through pitfalls of doing so. There is no one way to do so and what may be right for one may not work for another.

 

This forum has evolved significantly over the 8 years I have be reading here. I dont believe even four years ago you would have been able to post a thread like this without being cut-off at the knees and permanent damage to your business. The general concensus by the most vocal was that you were here to serve us and you are nothing much more than a w..... That word is not even allowed at this point.

 

At the end what impact your participation and challenging thoughts you post have on your business is for only you to know, I just dont believe it is a general statement for all. The influence will most likely come through our pocket books rather than publically supporting you here with a pat on the back. The pat on the back may feel good, but cant put that on the deposit slip. What some may have mentioned to you here and in other places were just practical business suggestions, nothing more and nothing less. I think we all would like to see gentlemen like yourself succeed and remain active here and not become frustrated with us and declare your retirement from being apart of this place.

[Guest RyanCade]

Agreed

 

"I find it very sad and disappointing that a thread such as "what happened on your worst hire" can exist on the forum"

 

Yes, but it serves a purpose. Outside this forum there is precious little on how to go about hiring and interacting with an escort. It would be nice if the "Dummies" series included a book on escorting, but it doesn't. The sad part is that one of the things a client is most probably going to have to learn is how to handle a bad situation. Knowing that many others have been in the same predicament helps, both in terms of recognizing that something is wrong and in dealing with it. Personally, I favor the inclusion of all voices and perspectives and prefer reading about positive experiences rather than negative ones. However, because the negative is a big part of the world, I think it, too, needs to be addressed.

 

I didn't mean to imply the content of the thread was not welcome, just that a mirror thread would face opposition. I think everyone should feel safe to express themselves honestly.

[Guest RyanCade]

A Very Happy Ryan Cade-KUDOS TO ALL MC POSTERS

 

I introduced this topic for discussion, and thought long and hard before making that decision to post it.. My writing style is intended to be clear and to the point. Without the benefit of eye contact and body language, the energy behind it is easily misunderstood.. Let it be known that I am not angry or hostile in anyway, and further I am soooooo impressed by the feedback this thread has generated. It is indeed thought provoking and I am totally satisfied with the outcome. I don't feel compelled to try and force change and have no attachment to any particular outcome other than that which has already taken place. The responses have been amazing and I am truly grateful to a part of the MC where such discussions can take place. The posters here on the MC are VERY intelligent and have taught me so much in such a short period of time. Having an open mind, a compassionate heart, being flexible, open to change, and the ability to listen to others, are essential. It you have these qualities, this forum can be an amazing tool for self improvement. I have thoroughly enjoyed my time here so far and hope to continue for a very long time... There are a few who have yet to respond and it may or may not be in protest, but I will reiterate that I harbor no ill will and I find value in the opinions of all posters even if I do not share them. It takes all kinds to make the world go round and we are all continuing to learn and become better escorts and better clients as the direct result better understanding obtained through healthy disagreements and debate... BIGG HUGG AND KUDOS TO THE POSTERS HERE IN THE MC

 

Respectfully,

[seeker630]

The power of the MC?

 

I personally experienced the financial impact the MC and Daddys Reviews can have on an escorts business, it is great..

 

Ryan, that's a very interesting comment. I tend to think that many MC members over-estimate the influence of the MC - but maybe I underestimate it?

I said earlier that the members of the MC make up a small percentage of the client pool. Am I wrong?

I can see more impact from a review, but it's been my impression that there are many people who read the reviews but don't follow the MC.

Do you that a signiciant portion of your clients read the MC or the reviews?

[JoeyBryant]

There are a few who have yet to respond and it may or may not be in protest, but I will reiterate that I harbor no ill will and I find value in the opinions of all posters even if I do not share them.

 

Sometimes people are so afraid of confrontation and other's opinions that they'll either avoid the subject all together or not respond. I call it, virtual stage fright. Let em hide...they'll reveal themselves eventually.

 

Or maybe they just gave up on responding to anyone and don't care.

[+ purplekow]

There are a few who have yet to respond and it may or may not be in protest, but I will reiterate that I harbor no ill will and I find value in the opinions of all posters even if I do not share them. It takes all kinds to make the world go round and we are all continuing to learn and become better escorts and better clients as the direct result better understanding obtained through healthy disagreements and debate... BIGG HUGG AND KUDOS TO THE POSTERS HERE IN THE MC

 

Respectfully,

 

I have recently read through this entire thread. Ryan, if you are looking for particular people to respond, why not address them directly. If I had been asked to respond, I would have.

As for being yourself on here: Putting on an act here may get you hired once, but ultimately, if that persona is not the person the client hired, you won't get rehired. I prefer honest, thought out and intelligent responses with a bit of wit and charm. I also prefer honest, buffed out and intelligent escorts with a bit of wit and charm. So as far as this client goes, be yourself and ultimately you will happier and the clients from this site who decide to hire you, will be happier too. As far of those posters who deride, demean and detract, I doubt they are hiring many escorts in any case.

[whipped guy]

The posters here on the MC are VERY intelligent...

Well, correct me if I am wrong, but I think that Ryan is the first escort (or for that matter poster) who has used a quote from Schopenhauer as part of his signature... That makes Ryan WAY intelligent!!!

[Guest RyanCade]

It is great...

 

Ryan, that's a very interesting comment. I tend to think that many MC members over-estimate the influence of the MC - but maybe I underestimate it?

I said earlier that the members of the MC make up a small percentage of the client pool. Am I wrong?

I can see more impact from a review, but it's been my impression that there are many people who read the reviews but don't follow the MC.

Do you that a signiciant portion of your clients read the MC or the reviews?

 

I will keep it very simple; I can count the number of clients, post neg review, that have NOT mentioned the review or the MC threads on one hand

My phone finally began to ring after my response and the actual review posted, but the tie breaking review in conjunction with my presence in the MC has proven to be as affective in my favor. and I was unaware of the number of readers who are not active participants, I have been contacted privately by several. So I would say that Daddy's is a fairly popular reference.

[Guest RyanCade]

It is great...

 

Ryan, that's a very interesting comment. I tend to think that many MC members over-estimate the influence of the MC - but maybe I underestimate it?

I said earlier that the members of the MC make up a small percentage of the client pool. Am I wrong?

I can see more impact from a review, but it's been my impression that there are many people who read the reviews but don't follow the MC.

Do you that a signiciant portion of your clients read the MC or the reviews?

 

I will keep it very simple; I can count the number of clients, post neg review, that have NOT mentioned the review or the MC threads on one hand

My phone finally began to ring after my response and the actual review posted, but the tie breaking review in conjunction with my presence in the MC has proven to be as affective in my favor. and I was unaware of the number of readers who are not active participants, I have been contacted privately by several. So I would say that Daddy's is a fairly popular reference.