First Time Hiring Questions (anonymity, etc)

[Guest mlancast759]

So, as you can tell from the title of this post, I'm just about ready to start hiring escorts for the first time! I'm really excited, but I'm also worried about a number of different things. I can't tell you how useful this forum has been to me. But there are still a bunch of different questions I wanted to ask before I contact anyone. I apologize if these questions have been addressed before (as I'm sure they have), but I'd appreciate any advice and experience people could give.

 

My first question has to do with contacting escorts. For me personally, I'd definitely rather contact an escort by e-mail first, if nothing else because it lets me put down exactly what I'd like from the session. And that's where my problem comes in. How do I tell the guy exactly what I want during our meeting without making it sound like I'm "soliciting" something? I mean, especially since I'm new to this, I don't want to make a mistake and make it sound like I'm specifically connecting what I want with the payment, which is of course a big no-no. How do people normally say what they want discreetly?

 

And second, I'm concerned about anonymity. I know that the bigger concern is usually the anonymity of the escort, but I'm also concerned about myself. Is it at all common for people to use fake names when meeting with escorts? Is that something I should ask the specific guy about when I first meet them, or is keeping my own identity a secret going to be impossible? What are people's feelings about this?

[Gar1eth]

So, as you can tell from the title of this post, I'm just about ready to start hiring escorts for the first time! I'm really excited, but I'm also worried about a number of different things. I can't tell you how useful this forum has been to me. But there are still a bunch of different questions I wanted to ask before I contact anyone. I apologize if these questions have been addressed before (as I'm sure they have), but I'd appreciate any advice and experience people could give.

 

My first question has to do with contacting escorts. For me personally, I'd definitely rather contact an escort by e-mail first, if nothing else because it lets me put down exactly what I'd like from the session. And that's where my problem comes in. How do I tell the guy exactly what I want during our meeting without making it sound like I'm "soliciting" something? I mean, especially since I'm new to this, I don't want to make a mistake and make it sound like I'm specifically connecting what I want with the payment, which is of course a big no-no. How do people normally say what they want discreetly?

 

And second, I'm concerned about anonymity. I know that the bigger concern is usually the anonymity of the escort, but I'm also concerned about myself. Is it at all common for people to use fake names when meeting with escorts? Is that something I should ask the specific guy about when I first meet them, or is keeping my own identity a secret going to be impossible? What are people's feelings about this?

 

Well we've all been there before--and I am sure there are multiple different approaches. I have an e-mail that I use specifically for contacting guys. But I also talk with them on the phone before hiring. If you are worried about monetary issues then get that hammered out in an e-mail and don't mention it on the phone when you are discussing mutual likes and dislikes. And yes, I do use an alias when contacting guys. For one thing it makes it a lot simpler if they call me back on my cell. IF they use my alias, then I know what the call is about. If I receive a call and they use my real name--then I know not to discuss what I like to do in bed on that phone call. If you are just having a meeting of an hour or 2, it should be pretty easy to keep your name concealed. If you do an overnight or a weekend, it's tougher to keep your identity a secret--on the other hand, it will also be more difficult for the escort to keep his real name a secret for that long a time too.

 

Other people don't bother with aliases--but so far my way has worked for me.

 

Gman

[bobchitown]

Take a deep breath.

 

Chose an alias - or not.

 

Get a new email address and use it only for this.

 

Read the reviews here and choose someone who's reviewed a few time. Don't Craigslist!

 

Send him an e-mail with a clear subject line - something like "New York this Sunday pm?"

 

Write a brief message giving your general stats and what you're into.

 

Don't discuss money, it should be in his ads/reviews already.

 

Wait a day or two for a response - longer than that move on.

 

He will probably reply and include a phone number, if the times work either call or send a response and include your phone number.

 

Sometimes he will want to make the final plans by phone, on other occasions its been all by email.

 

Decide on your place or his - some are more comfortable with one or the other. I like to go to him for some reason.

 

Expect to be very nervous and at some point let him know that this is your first time doing this. Another reason to choose someone with more experience.

 

Have a great time!

[+ Lucky]

I've tried using an alias, but somehow "unLucky" doesn't seem to be a winning name!!

[seaboy4hire]

So, as you can tell from the title of this post, I'm just about ready to start hiring escorts for the first time! I'm really excited, but I'm also worried about a number of different things. I can't tell you how useful this forum has been to me. But there are still a bunch of different questions I wanted to ask before I contact anyone. I apologize if these questions have been addressed before (as I'm sure they have), but I'd appreciate any advice and experience people could give.

 

My first question has to do with contacting escorts. For me personally, I'd definitely rather contact an escort by e-mail first, if nothing else because it lets me put down exactly what I'd like from the session. And that's where my problem comes in. How do I tell the guy exactly what I want during our meeting without making it sound like I'm "soliciting" something? I mean, especially since I'm new to this, I don't want to make a mistake and make it sound like I'm specifically connecting what I want with the payment, which is of course a big no-no. How do people normally say what they want discreetly?

 

And second, I'm concerned about anonymity. I know that the bigger concern is usually the anonymity of the escort, but I'm also concerned about myself. Is it at all common for people to use fake names when meeting with escorts? Is that something I should ask the specific guy about when I first meet them, or is keeping my own identity a secret going to be impossible? What are people's feelings about this?

 

First welcome to the message board! I think that first contact by email is always best. If I am not home and I get a phone call and someone wanting to talk shop it ain't happening. Usually I am at the coffee shop and I know too many people there so I wont talk shop. In the first email at least for me it helps to know what you are looking for, how long, what day and all that fun stuff. If there is a phone call that is warranted then setting up a proper day and time is helpful. I can understand you wanting to keep your identity hush hush but as stated before if the appointment is just a couple hours I wouldn't worry about it, just give a fake name. Here's a secret, most escorts use a fake name But if you see the same person over a period of time or for extended sessions personal info will be soon enough shared. This can be good or bad. I think for me is a good thing because it allows for a deeper emotional connection beyond sex and I think that a lot of guys are looking for that type of connection. Well that is my half cents worth. Oh and one more thing, for your first few rolls in the hay go for the guys who are well reviewed. It'll save you a lot of headache in the beginning. Hope you find some good fun naughty fun out there!

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ azdr0710]

you can discuss the fee by accompanying it with some standard disclaimer like "for your time only"....as you know, never mention money and an "act" in the same sentence or even paragraph.....in the first email, I'm fairly specific about what I want, but I don't mention money at all.....in a later email, I'll confirm the fee and remind him that I'll pay at the end and I don't want to discuss money again and not at the meet....if meeting for more than a couple hours, I'll ask if he has a multi-hour discount if he hasn't already offered one....be very friendly and courteous.....the tone and attitude of replies will be a big clue if things will be good.....

 

only guys I've seen at least a couple times know my real first name...several have offered their real first name very soon after meeting for the first time, though....you can make up a quick gmail email address using a fake name for activity like this.....

 

I was incredibly nervous the first time I met an escort....fears of the local PD busting down the door!!....before the meet, just take some long deep relaxing breaths... smile, talk slowly, maintain eye contact, make silly small talk for a couple minutes, ask him questions to divert the nervousness from you....then say something like, "let's start with a massage".....

 

check the reviews here....start with an email that's brief, friendly, but "discreetly specific", then email a couple more times with hard plans....the guy may say "call me" pretty quickly....you can hit *67 right before you dial the number if you're concerned about phone number privacy....there are easy ways to find out the owner of a cell from the number, usually......

[+ sf westcoaster]

I have nothing to add to the advice you have already received, but will say that bobchitown has provided an excellent check list. We have all gone through the initial stages of stagefright, so you are not alone - be honest with the escort and if he is a true professional he will help you through the session.

 

Personally I use an alias on any first time meeting and have an email that I use just for initial meeting purposes. If I click with an escort and hire him more than a couple of times, then I normally reveal my real name (first).

 

No matter what happens on your first outing, it will be a tremendous learning experience.

[Guest wankerboi]

Not to add to the good advice already given in other replies, I would just say recognise that what you intend doing is being done all the time by lots of people and although you are right to be “really excited”, it is no big deal. It is just a normal, commonplace arrangement. It does not have to become complicated! -)

 

As a commonplace arrangement, the escorts are not going to care if you use your real name, a derivation, or something made up. (Nor are any likely to remember beyond the end of the meet whatever name you use.) You just give a first name, to be friendly and identifiable - it is no big deal :-).

 

Likewise, if the escort you select is a moderately experienced professional and you have read his (informative) advertisement with care, and you do not have any but fairly mainstream requirements (or those listed as catered for in the ad.) it ought not to require lengthy and detailed discussion about matching up what you want with what is offered.

 

Summary: just go for it (especially with an escort well-reviewed) and enjoy!

[+ purplekow]

Good luck on your first encounter. Definitely pick someone with great reviews.

As for the rest, if he has great reviews, it will likely just work itself out. I recently had an encounter with a well reviewed escort. My first e-mail said something like I am interested in your services Thursday night 9 o'clock my hotel and a brief desciption of me. His reply: See you there. That was the full extent of the contact and right up until the time he knocked on the door I was not sure he was really coming which made it very exciting. Minimal pleasantries at the door and hot sex for 2 hours or slightly more. "Here's your money see you next time" and he was gone. So my advice....it is tough to avoid, but don't sweats the details...hire a professonal and the rest will work out. By the way, this is not my usualy method but it worked really well this time.

[Guest greatness]

Anonymity

 

I use an alias for the initial contact and once I get to know an escort well enough I give my real name. When you fly an escort to you then the escort needs to give you his name to book a flight for him. If you are hiring an escort that you have never heard of then I suggest that you might use an alias. But be careful of scams though. I had to deal with an illegal agency that blackmailed me. I counter attacked. Anyways, good luck with your first hire.

 

I have never experienced an escort threaten me to expose my identity and etc... When you hire good reviewed escorts here you won't have any problems.

 

 

 

 

 

 

My first question has to do with contacting escorts. For me personally, I'd definitely rather contact an escort by e-mail first, if nothing else because it lets me put down exactly what I'd like from the session. And that's where my problem comes in. How do I tell the guy exactly what I want during our meeting without making it sound like I'm "soliciting" something? I mean, especially since I'm new to this, I don't want to make a mistake and make it sound like I'm specifically connecting what I want with the payment, which is of course a big no-no. How do people normally say what they want discreetly?

 

And second, I'm concerned about anonymity. I know that the bigger concern is usually the anonymity of the escort, but I'm also concerned about myself. Is it at all common for people to use fake names when meeting with escorts? Is that something I should ask the specific guy about when I first meet them, or is keeping my own identity a secret going to be impossible? What are people's feelings about this?

[Kevin Slater]

I use an alias for the initial contact and once I get to know an escort well enough I give my real name.

 

No arguments there, but *please* try and be consistent with whichever name you use. It's so confusing for us working guys when Elmer makes a return appearance as Eugene.

 

Kevin Slater

[AdamSmith]

Here is just one individual view, offered with respect: Why not search out your ideal first contact, then phone him? You'll find out so much in a minute or two of real-time personal contact. If you don't want to see him, there is so little chance he'll phone you back and hound you. Just move on to your next preference, and repeat. The human contact could make all the difference.

[Mark Gordon]

Johns

 

When you're choosing an alias, please try to come up with something more original than 'John.' The reason clients are sometimes refered to as 'johns' is that this is such an overused alias. Granted it is a common name anyway, but surely not 20% of the population!

[+ Axiom2001]

So, as you can tell from the title of this post, I'm just about ready to start hiring escorts for the first time! I'm really excited, but I'm also worried about a number of different things. I can't tell you how useful this forum has been to me. But there are still a bunch of different questions I wanted to ask before I contact anyone. I apologize if these questions have been addressed before (as I'm sure they have), but I'd appreciate any advice and experience people could give.

 

My first question has to do with contacting escorts. For me personally, I'd definitely rather contact an escort by e-mail first, if nothing else because it lets me put down exactly what I'd like from the session. And that's where my problem comes in. How do I tell the guy exactly what I want during our meeting without making it sound like I'm "soliciting" something? I mean, especially since I'm new to this, I don't want to make a mistake and make it sound like I'm specifically connecting what I want with the payment, which is of course a big no-no. How do people normally say what they want discreetly?

 

And second, I'm concerned about anonymity. I know that the bigger concern is usually the anonymity of the escort, but I'm also concerned about myself. Is it at all common for people to use fake names when meeting with escorts? Is that something I should ask the specific guy about when I first meet them, or is keeping my own identity a secret going to be impossible? What are people's feelings about this?

 

Since emailing has become the norm for one's initial contact with an escort unless he requests otherwise, contact him via this means. State that you're interested in meeting him at such and such a time and the place. State you're interested in meeting someone who is ( e. g. interactive, a superb top, great bottom, deep kisser or whatever your interests). End it complimentarily and go from there. Try not to write too lengthy of an email in the beginning. One does not have to be too, too exact; you don't want your e invitation to sound too much like a friggin' script and that both of you are role playing. Tell the guy that your session or meeting with him will be your first session and that you're excited as well as somewhat nervous but anticipate your meeting him will allay your fears and inhibitions.

 

In response to your second concern-- give your first name. Why use an anonymous one? You're paying in cash, not with a credit card.

 

I've given escorts my real first and last names if I'm staying at a hotel and if he has difficulty connecting with me. On one occasion the escort could not contact me because I, at the time, had no cell phone and the only number available was the hotel's. Since that time I've had no problems....

 

For your first experience, I'd advise you to use the services of someone who has perhaps been reviewed at this site. As time comes and goes-- this aspect of one's life becomes easier and easier. ENJOY IMMENSELY!

[buckguy]

First time questions

 

FWIW--my 2 cents:

 

I only phone if I need to schedule something relatively quick (within the next few hours). Many escorts either screen or simply are not available right away, but sometimes you get lucky.

 

I've never bothered with the alias, special email, etc. I use my real nickname and the email I use for stuff that generates spam (not the one for friends/family) and this has never been a problem. Unless I have gotten to know an escort, I always use "Possible Escort Appointment" in the subject line. Like everyone they need to see something relevant that means you aren't spam.

 

In general, I start by asking about availability (something simple, polite & to the point--like I will be in X on this date, etc.). I usually offer more than one time (e.g., 7 or 8pm), if possible--I want to communicate a lack of rigidity, but I also don't want to seem like an airhead; most escorts don't want to see "any time", they need to put together a schedule. I do ask about money if I want something that isn't in the ad or their review such as a 2 or 3 hour appt. Your initial email contact should be relatively brief, but provide basic, clear information. If there are specific deal breakers (e.g., topping, bottoming, kissing), those should be brought up as simple specific questions in the initial contact.

 

I sometimes include a brief, one sentence synopsis of my likes/dislikes, although I've learned that most escorts want to either talk on the phone once or have some further email exchange to determine if you're serious, have your head on straight, etc., so it makes sense to have things to discuss during at least one additional communication.

 

Red flags: the guy doesn't ask for a phone number to reach you or doesn't provide instructions for reconfirming. Most experienced guys will want to touch the base the day of the appt to give hotel info (for an incall) or get info on where you are living/staying (for an outcall)--this may not come up in their initial reply but it should come up before your emailing ends or on your initial phone contact. They will do this to make sure you actually plan to show up. They also may want to recap what you want, partly to prepare for the appt and partly to be sure that you aren't asking for something different from your previous communication. Occasionally, guys will have more then one potential appt and use this to see who is more serious and providing a better or more lucrative experience.

 

Reputable guys will respond to an email within 24-48 hrs; if it's a weekend, give them until the following Monday pm. Don't take it personally if the first guy you try to engage does not work out--these things happen. The guys who post here generally are customer service-oriented as are most who are well established.

[rvwnsd]

Long ago I would use an alias with hookups. One day, I accidentally used my actual name with a guy I had hooked up with several times. He had no idea what I was talking about. I decided that my actual name was just fine.

[bobchitown]

Long ago I would use an alias with hookups. One day, I accidentally used my actual name with a guy I had hooked up with several times. He had no idea what I was talking about. I decided that my actual name was just fine.

 

And I once e-mailed someone from my regular gmail account - caused no end of confusion along the lines of "who is this random guy who assumes I know him".

[Guest Merlin]

You will be nervous and excited, and with luck you will always be so. The anticipation of a new escort is half the fun. Sort of like anticipating the opening of your Christmas presents. But, there is a tendency to build up a mental image of a perfect young man, and then be disappointed. Better to expect something less than perfect and be pleasantly surprised.

You are probably concerned that the escort may not like you. Remember, most clients are older than the escort, and if the clients were handsome, yound, slim, muscular, well hung etc. they wouldn't need to hire escorts. So escorts learn not to expect attractive clients. And whatever you look like, he has seen worse. For that reason your first should be an experienced excort. If you pick an 18 year old, his in experience my cause him to expect too much of clients.

Don't worry about your performance either. When he shows up, smiles, stips and gets close, you hormones will kick in and you will lose the nervousness. Trust me. If you have trouble performing, don't worry about what the escort thinks, he has seen it all. He will not be judgmental if you can't perform and you will never see him again unless you want to.

By all means, shower immeciately before the meeting and make sure your breath is clean. Wear clean clothes. Be considerate and respectful of the escort. I often start with a shower with the escort. Spreading soap over his body is a great turn on and you both know the other is clean. Have condums and lube handy and don't rely on him to bring them.

Most escorts are honest, but some are not. Have the agreed fee handy, but not necessarily in sight. Put you wallet and any other small valuables out of sight.

Brush up on safer sex and have your limits firmly in mind and stick to them. Escorts meet a lot of men, and while I believe most are healthy, as always, you should assume that the one you are with is positive, and protect yourself accordingly. You don't want to spend the next few months worrying if you slipped up. "Safer sex", in my opinion, includes avoidng guys who you know or suspect may be positive. You don't know unless he says so. But some words in the ads may be a givaway: "will bareback", "sometimes safe", "no limits" etc.

[+ Axiom2001]

Merlin2, you wrote some stellar advice which can be applied to all of us who hire! Thanks, man! -

[+ Charlie]

Booking an escort has changed a great deal since I started, back before there was an Internet or review sites. Now I always start with a simple email, with the heading "escort appt" or something like it. I start by saying where I found the info about the escort (Rentboy, Daddysreviews, M4RN, etc.), whether I have looked at his own website (if he has one), and whether I have read any reviews and where. I explain when and where I would like to see him, and ask him to reply as soon as possible, adding that I will give more details about what I am looking for if he is going to be available (there is no need to sketch out a whole scenario if nothing is going to happen anyway). If I don't hear from him in two days, I repeat the email; if there I still no response, I move on to someone else. If I get an encouraging reply, I go into more detail about my sexual interests, and ask him to confirm his fee for that activity. If he expresses interest and quotes a fee I can live with, I confirm a date, preferably by phone.

 

Since I almost always prefer to go to the escort, I make sure to be presentable and have the correct sum of money with me, in a separate pocket or envelope, and arrive exactly on time, neither early nor late, after phoning a few hours in advance to confirm that nothing has changed.

 

From then on, I play it by ear.

[+ Lucky]

Ear sex being one of the real delicacies in the joy of sex.

[MsGuy]

You will be nervous and excited, and with luck you will always be so. The anticipation of a new escort is half the fun. Sort of like anticipating the opening of your Christmas presents. But, there is a tendency to build up a mental image of a perfect young man, and then be disappointed. Better to expect something less than perfect and be pleasantly surprised.

You are probably concerned that the escort may not like you. Remember, most clients are older than the escort, and if the clients were handsome, yound, slim, muscular, well hung etc. they wouldn't need to hire escorts. So escorts learn not to expect attractive clients. And whatever you look like, he has seen worse. For that reason your first should be an experienced excort. If you pick an 18 year old, his in experience my cause him to expect too much of clients.

Don't worry about your performance either. When he shows up, smiles, stips and gets close, you hormones will kick in and you will lose the nervousness. Trust me. If you have trouble performing, don't worry about what the escort thinks, he has seen it all. He will not be judgmental if you can't perform and you will never see him again unless you want to.

By all means, shower immeciately before the meeting and make sure your breath is clean. Wear clean clothes. Be considerate and respectful of the escort. I often start with a shower with the escort. Spreading soap over his body is a great turn on and you both know the other is clean. Have condums and lube handy and don't rely on him to bring them.

Most escorts are honest, but some are not. Have the agreed fee handy, but not necessarily in sight. Put you wallet and any other small valuables out of sight.

Brush up on safer sex and have your limits firmly in mind and stick to them. Escorts meet a lot of men, and while I believe most are healthy, as always, you should assume that the one you are with is positive, and protect yourself accordingly. You don't want to spend the next few months worrying if you slipped up. "Safer sex", in my opinion, includes avoidng guys who you know or suspect may be positive. You don't know unless he says so. But some words in the ads may be a givaway: "will bareback", "sometimes safe", "no limits" etc.

 

Were I the one who opened this thread, this post would be everything I would have been hopeing for by way of a response. Sorry to interrupt the flow of the thread, but I really wanted to say thanks to Merlin for such a well written, well thought through post.

[+ Lucky]

Merlin's Fantasy World

 

"you should assume that the one you are with is positive, and protect yourself accordingly. You don't want to spend the next few months worrying if you slipped up. "Safer sex", in my opinion, includes avoidng guys who you know or suspect may be positive."

 

The problem with Merlin's Christmas sex with Santa scenario is that he must of necessity be a virgin. He wants to avoid guys who he suspects may be or are positive, and I assume here he doesn't mean positive minded. But he also assumes that the one he wants to have sex with is positive and acts accordingly...that is, he avoids them too!

[rvwnsd]

And I once e-mailed someone from my regular gmail account - caused no end of confusion along the lines of "who is this random guy who assumes I know him".

 

That has happened to me more than once. The first thing I do now is choose the correct account from the drop-down list.

[MsGuy]

The problem with Merlin's Christmas sex with Santa scenario is that he must of necessity be a virgin. He wants to avoid guys who he suspects may be or are positive, and I assume here he doesn't mean positive minded. But he also assumes that the one he wants to have sex with is positive and acts accordingly...that is, he avoids them too!

 

Lucky, I recall your very stong feelings on this issue from another thread and mostly agree with you. Still, Merlin's advice amounts to no more than play safe regardless and don't play with escorts who don't. Not bad advice to someone who presents himself as a newbie to the game.