Time to move on?

[TruthBTold]

Not sure if this should be here or in the Lounge. Just wondered if this has happened to anyone else and maybe some tips about what to do. I have been seeing a great escort for about a year and a half and we have started to become like an old married couple. We are both versatile but I have definitely begun to do most of the "work." He's really a sexy guy and I definitely enjoy what I do to him but would like him to do a little more to me. Maybe it is time to move on or to at least take a break?

[Guest Musclestudoh]

If that is the dynamic to your relationship then why not be honest and just ask for what you are looking for. You are still paying for the time I assume? Unless it was clearly stated those boundaries were off limits, you are entitled to ask and he is entitled to decline. Then it might be time to move on if you don't get the outcome you were hoping for.

Since there may be more of an emotional attachment I could see how you might be hesitant to bring the subject up for fear of hurt feelings. As in any type of relationship if the fulfillment isn't there and one or the other isn't willing to compromise then there may be an issue that can't be overcome.

You could also try casually mentioning some fantasies you have been having surrounding what you might like to happen during your time together. This way you won't be directly pinpointing what is missing but pointing out what might enhance your experience. This way you can potentially avoid hurt feelings. Flattery could work; i.e. kissing ass:D. Tell him that when he did XYZ that he was amazing at it and how good it made you feel!

 

You are right, this does sound more like an "old married couple" issue.

 

Not sure if this should be here or in the Lounge. Just wondered if this has happened to anyone else and maybe some tips about what to do. I have been seeing a great escort for about a year and a half and we have started to become like an old married couple. We are both versatile but I have definitely begun to do most of the "work." He's really a sexy guy and I definitely enjoy what I do to him but would like him to do a little more to me. Maybe it is time to move on or to at least take a break?

[+ g56whiz]

OMG!!! Dan Savage's wisdom in Sean Knight's body. It's not fair!!!

 

But Sean's right. Married couples only become old married couples when assumptions replace communications. If his many excellent suggestions for communicating your wants/needs to this guy fail, then you can - in the words of Dan Savage - DTMFA (dump the motherfucker already).

 

And if the brain is the body's largest sex organ, then Sean must be one . . . . (that's another topic altogether I guess)

[JT Brooklyn]

Not sure if this should be here or in the Lounge. Just wondered if this has happened to anyone else and maybe some tips about what to do. I have been seeing a great escort for about a year and a half and we have started to become like an old married couple. We are both versatile but I have definitely begun to do most of the "work." He's really a sexy guy and I definitely enjoy what I do to him but would like him to do a little more to me. Maybe it is time to move on or to at least take a break?

 

Truth.. it does sound and seem like it is "Time To Move On" Hanging Out for 1 1/2 Years probably doesn't make it an easy decision! Don't forget when your not having SEX with him he is "doing" other guys! So IF Variety is the SPICE of Life, he's LIVING his and apparently your not?

 

In most "Old Married Couple Scenarios" One of them isn't getting laid 2 or 3 Times a week by a Stranger are they?

[Guest TNT Ted]

Truth.. it does sound and seem like it is "Time To Move On" Hanging Out for 1 1/2 Years probably doesn't make it an easy decision! Don't forget when your not having SEX with him he is "doing" other guys! So IF Variety is the SPICE of Life, he's LIVING his and apparently your not?

 

In most "Old Married Couple Scenarios" One of them isn't getting laid 2 or 3 Times a week by a Stranger are they?

JT, you're really good at getting to the core of an issue.

[+ sf westcoaster]

You may be able to bring the spake back, but it will probably be temporary. If I were you I would "move on".

[Lookin]

Great advice so far! Another thought might be to print out this thread and show it to him. If you don't want to tell him you're the poster, just say you've been having similar thoughts lately, and wonder if he can think of some ways to mix it up a little. Since you like him, it might be worth a try.

[Gar1eth]

Great advice so far! Another thought might be to print out this thread and show it to him. If you don't want to tell him you're the poster, just say you've been having similar thoughts lately, and wonder if he can think of some ways to mix it up a little. Since you like him, it might be worth a try.

 

 

The problem with getting emotional is that you are still probably paying. Even if he has grown to like you, it still means you are paying for the friendship. There is an escort I really like and would like to see again--but I can't because I would like to have him just as a friend. And I am not even sure if he really likes me or not--or only tolerates me because of the business relationship--actually I have that dilemma with most of the guys I meet--not knowing how much they really like me. I mean they are pleasant--but they are in the business to be pleasant. That's why I don't really have any guys I see on a regular basis--too easy--to--not fall in love but to fall in "like". Falling in "like" can be just as hurtful if not reciprocated as the more talked about "falling in love"

 

Gman

[gp0560]

I agree with Gar1eth. And one more point. If you are still paying him, how can you ever know he really means what he says if/when he says he likes you, too? How can you know for really certain sure that he not just working you?

 

Apologies to the escorts who are truly sincere, because you are great guys. But when it comes to emotional attachments, if money is involved, my thought is that the client should get all paranoid. On the other hand, in contradiction to what I just said, I see one particular out-of-town escort who has reduced his usual fee by a huge amount and who has visited me on short notice to hold my hand during a time of depression, so I now believe him when he says he considers me a friend. I know the good guys are out there, and they are truly fine men.