need guidance on gay club etiquette

[12is12]

Hi guys,

 

I'm new to gay sex, I want to visit a gay club, but I don't know what to expect:

1) How does the sex in darkrooms and maze work? Can anyone just start making out with anyone else? How do I know if I'm allowed to make advances? What do I do do if I don't like what's being done to me or who's doing it?

 

2) How do the gloryholes work? When I pick a booth, is there any way to know in advance whether my neighbors want to suck or be sucked?

 

3) Are clubs just for the young and handsome? Are men over thirty/forty/fifty laughed out?

 

Thanks.

[Guy Fawkes]

Hi guys,

 

I'm new to gay sex, I want to visit a gay club, but I don't know what to expect:

1) How does the sex in darkrooms and maze work? Can anyone just start making out with anyone else? How do I know if I'm allowed to make advances? What do I do do if I don't like what's being done to me or who's doing it?

 

2) How do the gloryholes work? When I pick a booth, is there any way to know in advance whether my neighbors want to suck or be sucked?

 

3) Are clubs just for the young and handsome? Are men over thirty/forty/fifty laughed out?

 

Thanks.

 

What's the most important thing in Real Estate? Location! Location! Location! The "unwritten" rules vary greatly on where you are. Give a better idea of where you are and I suspect you'll get some better answers. However, be warned that your about 10-20 years too late for some of your questions.

 

1) Good luck finding a venue.... Most have faded away. However, in a dark room situation: Reach out and touch, If they're not interested they'll either move your hand away or move their body away. If that happens don't be offended just move on.

 

2) In advance no, however look at the Hole, If you see a dick you have your answer. If you see a hand or a mouth you have your answer. If you see a eyeball, look somewhere else.

 

3) It completely comes down to how comfortable you are in your own skin. One of the most popular men at Hunters in Hollywood (Years ago) was about 5'4" 350lbs, completely bald, and old enough to have been on "Little Rascals". That bitch could snatch a cute boy out of my arms by twinkling her eyes. Damn I miss her, she was so much fun!

[JT Brooklyn]

"Those were the Days"

 

12...Welcome

 

BUT as DADDY points out..You are like 25 Years to late at least in what your expecting to find Adventure wise in 2009!

 

The Places you describe are just about nonexistant since the beginning of HIV/AIDS AWARENESS.

[MsGuy]

And always keep in mind that a mentor/friend such as Daddy described is worth any number of cute tricks. There's more to gay life than sex.

 

Not to say cute tricks are a bad thing!

[Guest LeoWalker]

Maybe not a direct answer to the poster...but...

 

There are two main options for hooking up in person:

 

1) bath houses. There are a number of bath houses in most major cities. Cleveland, for example, has two. Chicago has a handful. Orlando, Ft. Lauderdale...all have them. You pay to enter, and then basically just walk around until you find someone.

 

2) Gay clubs.

 

Bath houses are a bit forward...you can walk up and possibly touch...but that is often times rude. If you're older, it's definitely not a good idea to reach out and touch. I, personally, would perceive that as completely out of line. So, the best method is the same for bath house or for in a gay club: eye contact. Look around...if you see someone looking back at you, then you can approach. Take it from there. In Chicago...the ones "cruising" are VERY easy to spot: laying against the wall almost as though they're showing off their bodies. With that, you could basically just approach. But eye contact is generally the route I go by when on "the hunt".

 

This has been a lot of fun for me in the past...this topic, that is. Many a time in Chicago I'd go out with a group of friends and separate from everyone else with an innocent girl to introduce her to the whole mating process of the young gay male at a dance club. "See there, they look like they're dancing but in reality they're feeling on each other to make sure they're ok before walking out the club with one another." lol One night I let the girl pic the guys and then I'd walk up and hit on them. That was fun.

 

Either way your experience goes, make sure to take things lightly and not be insulted. If someone does not look back, move on...or just look at them from time to time (as they may not have noticed you the first time). If they walk away from you, take it as a hint and move on to the next person. It's nothing personal. The night I let the girl help me pick...I was rejected 9 times before I found someone who bit back. But, of course my routine is often: "What is your name? Where do you live? May I see your stomach (if not already shirtless)? Would you like to leave with me now?"

 

The "hunt" is often more fun than what happens after wards. =)

[+ Lucky]

The Details

 

There is some irony in the poster asking at a gay male escort site how to get sex for free. If we knew, do you think we would be here? Just kidding on that part, as men have many reasons for hiring even when they can get it for free.

 

The games described above where you have to watch for this signal or that, and then take the risk of sometimes frequent rejection are what make many prefer to just hire. Then, even if no games were involved and it was straight up mutual attraction, there is the question of what happens next. Many men just prefer to walk away, and in free sex, the other person sometimes gets attached and doesn't want to walk away. Unless you are a trained assassin, that can be a problem. Escorts love to walk out the door and never look back!

 

Finally, as been mentioned, the venues you seek don't exist in the numbers they used to. But, if you find one, be sure to wear the right clothes, and remember, no cologne. If arrested, do not call your best friend to bail you out. You might find he is embarrassed to do so. Have a lawyer standing by! But above all, have fun.

[Guest LeoWalker]

There is some irony in the poster asking at a gay male escort site how to get sex for free. If we knew, do you think we would be here? Just kidding on that part, as men have many reasons for hiring even when they can get it for free.

 

The games described above where you have to watch for this signal or that, and then take the risk of sometimes frequent rejection are what make many prefer to just hire. Then, even if no games were involved and it was straight up mutual attraction, there is the question of what happens next. Many men just prefer to walk away, and in free sex, the other person sometimes gets attached and doesn't want to walk away. Unless you are a trained assassin, that can be a problem. Escorts love to walk out the door and never look back!

 

For this, I have been highly considering hiring fellow escorts lately. I can truly empathize with many of my clients...overnight or just hourly.

[seaboy4hire]

I can't really speak for the west coast but I know that there is back room action going on in the Chicago area. The Eagle and Touche but both are leather and bearish bars so that might not the op's thing.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[JoshAB]

Where to start!!!

 

Hey 12...

 

I LOVE bathhouses. Soo much fun. Backrooms too.

 

Cities that I've been to in the last 2-3 years with GREAT Bathhouses are Ft. Lauderdale, Key West, Atlanta, Honolulu and Montreal. The worst was NYC... I still can't figure out where to go, and when, in that town. There was that one night when "The Cock" first opened though...wow.

 

Backrooms are everywhere. My experience is usually dependent on the night. It usually takes one or two brave (or horny) souls to get a good night rolling. I've had a great 'backroom' experience in a regular leather bar (with no backroom)...you never know what's going to happen.

 

As Daddy said, you can be 5'4 and 350 lbs - it's all about attitude. If you're nervous - hire an escort in your area with a good rep to go with you. Two new experiences in one..and imagine all the jealous looks you'll get!

 

Have fun man. Welcome to Daddy's Forums!

J.

[Ivan]

Escorts as guides to backrooms or clubs

 

If you're nervous - hire an escort in your area with a good rep to go with you. Two new experiences in one..and imagine all the jealous looks you'll get!

 

Hire an escort, eh? Funny story: Was very sheltered in my gay existence, never did groups or backrooms or sex clubs. When I started hiring escorts, was curious about that scene. One escort teased me about going to a sex club with him. I thought it was a great idea -- he had done print and videos on the Web and was known for 3-ways, 4-ways, 5-ways (... let me count the ways!) -- so one evening I said let's go, I want to see how voyeuristic and exhibitionistic I really am. He demurred, saying he meant that we would have sex privately in a cubicle, just the two of us -- NOT IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE!!!! LOL, I couldn't believe my ears!

 

Tried again with another guy who is, shall we say, very active. He put me off also -- turns out he prefers private sex parties, to which I could not come (given my age and looks, I don't fit the right age bracket and masculine looks of the guys who get "invited"). I also think he didn't want to be seen in public with an older guy, some of his peers might see him and wonder.

 

So I'm still a virgin when it comes to backrooms or sex parties/clubs.

[+ Tom Isern]

Nyc?

 

If you happen to be looking in NYC, drop me a note. I'd be happy to give tips.

 

There is still fun public sex to be had in this quirky retentive town, it's just not in the obvious places anymore. And timing is everything. Go to the West Side Club at dinner time and you'll be the only one there. Go at 2 a.m. on Friday or Saturday and it's a bonanza of hotties.

 

Now, imagine about three to four hundred hot twenty- and thirty-somethings and some very welcome older admirers turning a large multi-level day spa with pool and hot tubs and bars and go-go dancers and entertainment into a...well, it starts tame, with swimming suits even...but by three a.m. it's a gigantic orgy. It happens monthly or so. Info here:

 

http://hotsteammachine.blogspot.com/

 

P.S. Europe and South America are the best spots for the kind of fun you are looking for. Especially Berlin, Paris, Barcelona, Rio, Sao Paulo...ask here and I'm sure you'll get lots of tips. Do you know the Spartacus Guide? Google it if you don't and are travelling...