SECRETS in Washington, D.C.

[Karl-G]

I visited Secrets in Washington, D.C. three times last week. The earlier reports are completely correct on data.

 

I would recommend going by either car or taxi. There is lots of lighted parking. A cab from downtown is less than $10 and a little more from Dupont Circle Area. No cab driver had heard of the club, so the easiest directions are to say: "Go to Capitol South St. and O Street." At O Street turn right for two blocks and then left for four blocks. The club is on the left with a large pink neon sign reading "Zs." It is well lighted. A block further is the river, so you can't get lost; Nationals Stadium is three blocks to the NE and its huge bulk overshadows the whole area. When you leave, there are often several private sedans/taxis who work with the club and are safe and reliable waiting. They charge a flat fee, although you can negotiate - $13 - $15 for downtown or Dupont areas. The doorman, Alan, is very helpful in getting you a ride.

 

The building is surrounded by large lots for concrete manufacturing - no houses or stores or anything. However, to the southeast and alongside the river, is a large new, 8 story financial building of some sort, with all the windows for the many offices lighted, I suppose for cleaning crew. So it is not scary or dangerous, just deserted. I never saw anyone wandering around. There are always several police cars in front of the financial building, for reasons no one seems to know, but they are reassuring.

 

Cover is $5 during the week, and $10 on weekends. You enter and walk past a bar on your left. The floor of Ziegfield's is down about another 8 steps. It is dark except for the two weekend nights. Then it reveals a nice, night-club atmosphere, with a dance floor, several bars, a stage, and a lounging area. This is where the drag shows take place on weekends. At the far end, past the bar, is the staircase going up to the second floor. Everything is clean and pleasant and well designed. The second floor is a huge open space, most of which is a dance floor. To the right is the main bar on which there are usually three guys dancing. Guys dance totally nude all the time. There is no stripping or slow dances or first-dance-in-clothes. Then there is an alcove, the VIP Lounge, where there is a platform-stage with several comfortable leather chairs and a sunken bar. One guy usually dances here and you can sit within 12 inches of him as he wiggles his dick and ass for you. Touching is permitted only above the waist and below the knees.

 

Then there is another bar on this side at the back on which one guy usually dances. Outside the VIP area but before the dance floor is a small platform with a guy dancing. Again, you can stand right next to him as he gyrates.

 

At the back of the room is a large 5-steps-up raised platform with a dozen or so comfortable leather chairs, some tables, and two small circular platforms on which two guys dance all the time. They often jump off to chat with you if you tip. Tips are all $1 into their socks, although some dancers wore garters and you could put your bills there if you wished. Many dancers wore soccer stockings, which I found peculiar; many wore the huge clunking black boots. The best wore ankle length white socks and sneakers, and a couple even danced in their socks.

 

Against the main wall is a huge screen on which are projected usually psycheldelic patterns of color, but also exercise videos and other things on weekends. In front of the screen is a narrow long platform on which one or two guys dance. And finally, just inside the entrance to the left is another stage, smaller, on which one guy dances.

 

What all of this means is that you have 8 - 12 totally nude (at least from the knees up) guys dancing all the time, all around the room, from 9:00 p.m. to 2:00 or 3:00 a.m. You wander around to watch and perhaps chat and tip. The guys change every 20 minutes. There does not seem to be flexibility. You are either in Shift A or Shift B, and the same dancers reappear every 20 minutes all night. No dancers arrive late, and there is no mixing. They do move to a different location each time, however. This is different than other stripper bars, I think.

 

On Wednesday evening, there were 18 dancers, including six twinks I enjoyed. Dancers must be at least 21 to dance at Secrets. None of the dancers looked any younger than 21. I enjoyed Jimmy, J.R., Bobby, John, Nick, and Muzon. On later nights, Patrick and Mike appeared, but the others did not. In general, the dancers are Hispanic or Black, in their late 20s or 30s, straight, and chunky in build. Sometimes you could hear them discussing their wives and children as they smoked outside the door in front of the club between their sets.

 

Thursday night there werre 24 dancers, the largest number I saw. But most of the twinks were gone, and more chunky guys and also a number of women customers appeared. The women danced, generally with each other, and a couple of men eventually joined in. Many of the dancers devote themselves to the women. Saturday night had 17 dancers, only two twinks and the rest chunks, and a number of women customers. Saturday night was very crowded in terms of customers. On Wednesday, the sound level was OK. After that it was OK from 9 -10:20, but then the dj turned the volume up to excruciating and painful for the rest of the night.

 

Drinks were reasonable in price, and no smoking was allowed. The customers were much younger in general than other stripper clubs. At least 2/3 of the customers were in the 20 and 30 year old age cohort. The various areas was a pleasant concept; I particularly enjoyed the VIP Lounge (no extra charge) and the back platform, and I had a lot of fun with some guys on Wednesday. Glasses with lots of little pieces of paper and pencils were on all the bars, so I assume. The only guy I was interested in was not available. There are no booths or areas for private lap dances.

 

Overall, I don't think I will go back. If you like nude chunky Hispanic and Black men and you don't mind very loud music, this is probably a very nice club where you can enjoy yourself. Otherwise, not.

 

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This was the most glorious weekend in Cherry Blossom Festival that I have encountered in five years. Every magnolia, cherry, and forsythia tree in Washington was in full splendor on Saturday and Sunday, with more flowers and more petals per tree than I ever thought possible. The Tidal Basin, the Mall, Dumbarton Oaks Garden, the Bishop's Garden at the National Cathedral, the Enid Haupt Garden, the Mary Ripley Garden, and every space in between where you could fit a flowering tree was brilliantly aglow on Saturday. Officials had been predicting April 4 as the peak of the season for quite a while, and Saturday was cool but brilliantly sunny after two days of rain, and the plants just exploded with pleasure. The National Tulip Library was absolutely splendid by the Tidal Basin.

 

The Sunday Farmers Market at Dupont Circle was fabulous as always - wonderful specialized cheeses, fresh vegetables, fresh bread and pastries, organic meats, buffalo beef in all cuts, and huge containers with bunches of branches of apricot, quince, cherry, and forsythia were everywhere. Everyone took home a bunch of branches. Sellers said they would last for 10 days if you change the water daily. Free samples of most things. One lady was selling the most incredible looking mushrooms I had ever seen. It would be fun to live in Washington for a while and be able to take advantage of the Farmers Market regularly. Everything must be raised or produced within 100 miles of D.C. The Mushroom Lady was from Pennsylvania and got up at 2:30 to get to the market.

 

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If you are looking for a great twink escort in Washington, I can recommend a wonderful one. CHRIS. He's blond, smooth, cute, 24, loves sex, is smart, and I enjoyed several rendezvous with him. Highly recommended. 202-577 - 6919; email is principito1896@gmail.com

 

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Washington is a wonderful city to enjoy, especially at Cherry Blossom Time. The museums are among the best in the world and almost all are free, the restaurants are diverse and very good, and walking and looking are always fun. I especially enjoy walking through the streets of Georgetown and around Dupont Circle. The architecture is fascinating, and the small front yards are beautifully filled with flowers. Public transportation is easy, fast, and cheap. From Dupont Circle, ten minutes by bus to Georgetown or up Embassy Row to the National Cathedral.

 

If you are over 65, go to the Met Center metro station and the Sales Office on the Red Line level and get the Yellow Smart-trip pass. You pay $5 and then in any metro station in the city, you add money to the card. It looks like a credit card and has a chip embedded. You will pay only $ .60 per ride on any bus or subway. Just touch your card to the star on the turnstile or fare box and the amount is deducted from your account. It is a great bargain and convenience, and it is good for life.

 

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[+ newatthis]

Great report, Karl. Thanks very much. It told me everything I needed to know to decide whether to go, and all that's necessary to enjoy it if I do go.

 

Cooper -- this belongs in the strip clubs FAQ.

[JoshAB]

Cooper -- this belongs in the strip clubs FAQ.

 

Jeez - I didn't even notice the FAQs at the top! Great that they are there though!!